***DISCLAIMER: THIS REPORT IS WRITTEN IN AN OVERLY OFFENSIVE FASHION IN ORDER TO MAKE IT MORE ENTERTAINING FOR THE READERS. I AM NOT ACTUALLY THIS MUCH OF AN ARSEHOLE IN REAL LIFE, HONEST***
Foreword:
Props:
Everyone there who read Smogon, and there were a lot of you. The level of competition was suprisingly high for a place as apparently desolate as Perth.
Everyone who I beat. I can't believe I made it as far as I did on Day Two!
Everyone who beat me. Despite the format I didn't feel I lost to luck at all, both my losses were due to differences in player skill.
The tournament staff, yes even the compare (thankyou for embarassing me infront of an entire shopping centre).
Slops:
Anyone there who didn't shower that morning (see below)
Garchomp.
Preparation
Mountains of PMs between myself and Jumpman16 result in the longest team rate ever and what is in my mind the best team for the format.
(BTW, look up The Fuck Society and watch the movies that these names come from)
PUPPYWHIRL: Naive Azelf
EVs: 36 HP, 220 Spa, 252 Spd
Item: Choice Scarf
Moves: U-Turn, Thunderbolt, Flamethrower, Explosion
THIRTY FUCKING BUDEW TO GET THIS SHIT TRAINED AT L50. Trumps all the best openers in the format, thanks to its teammates.
SPIKETRAP?: Jolly Weavile
EVs: 36 HP, 252 Atk, 220 Spd
Item: Lum Berry
Moves: Substitute, Night Slash, Ice Punch, Aerial Ace
oh i'm sorry did you lead with a gengar? gg would you like to play again??? Sadly I didn't see a single Gengar all day ._.
BEARPOWERS: Adamant Gyarados
EVs: 68 HP, 252 Def, 188 Spd
Item: Life Orb
Moves: Dragon Dance, Earthquake, Ice Fang, Stone Edge.
Ironic that the massive defences I gave it were what allowed Heracross to kill it. I didn't see a single other Gyarados that day, and this was what I was going to switch in against it! So should have gone with Waterfall over Stone Edge, actually no, then I would have been tomjowned by the Milotic from the girl in the quarterfinals.
Having to learn all about D/P in a month did a number on me. I think I may have concentrated a little too much on this at work :(
Day 1: The Crying Corner.
Alright so I'm in line at something like 8:15 in the fucking morning. This is not my idea of a good start.
I would like to make mention that despite Pokemon being as mainstream as video games go, this tour brought out all the fucking freakshows in Perth.
Here is a public service announcement:
BEFORE YOU GO OUT IN PUBLIC, PLEASE WASH YOURSELF.
There's some guy infront of me who smells like complete ass and has what I swear is the goddamn greasiest hair I have ever seen. I've since been informed that this kid has some kind of unnamed medical condition which he wears this silly hat to hide, so uh more power to you bro, hire better carers imo. There's another guy there with a bit of paper taped to his shirt advertising some RP pokemon wifi league, he also could use the services of at least some goddamn deoderant. He's clearly made some effort to groom himself as he's put gel in his hair, or maybe it's excess grease from his hairy mass, so he must have made a conscious decision not to shower. At some point I physically recoil from the stench of what I think was some woman but I can't be certain who the culprit was.
Now I certainly didn't smell like roses myself, especially not on Day 2 when I was wearing one of those synthetic-fabric shirts that look rather swish but stick to you and smell like butt as the day goes on, but come on people the first thing you do when you wake up (or the last thing you do before you sleep) should be to CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN SELF. If you are one of the people mentioned in this paragraph and you are reading this, please, for the love of all that is holy, ask your mother where the bathroom is, how to operate the hot water tap, and to buy you some of that nice kid's shampoo that doesn't sting when it gets in your eyes. Please. Seriously.
There was some guy in a grey suit there, which is nice as he would have looked really pretty up on stage while I raped him with my amazing Pokemon, but unfortunately he scrubbed out in Round 1 and I didn't see him the next day. I imagine he took a shower before he came though, so props from me!
By this point the line was huge. I am keeping an eye out for someone who has Steelicks' fabled girth but apparently he didn't make it, and his RL circumference isn't as unthinkably gargantuan as I was first told. Eventually my housemate and his younger yet taller siblings rock up, we wait around for a bit, and then get down to business.
Round One:
My round one opponent is a guy in his mid to late teens. He's pretty laid-back. We exchange introductions, shake hands, make small talk about Smogon and the Greater Internet, and I kick the absolute stuffing out of him.
He had big balls for bringing Hippodon in, though. Huge balls. Gave my Weavile a run for its money, that's for certain.
One of my friends is told by the guy with the sign on his shirt mentioned above that "the real contest is tomorrow". This is after he scrubs out despite getting two crits. As it turns out, his statement would be true because I'm fucking amazing.
ATTN PERTH: FOCUS SASH GARCHOMP IS ONLY SUPRISING WHEN YOU'RE NOT THE HUNDREDTH PERSON WITH IT
Trivia Time:
"what is the legendary pokemon of knowledge?" "SEAKING"
While this is going on, I hear this muffled, sort of slurred retarded voice asking one of my friends what they're giving away. I immediately go for the Pokeball on my belt as I swear to god I have never seen a talking Bidoof before and I am going to catch this shit. After the kid was informed that it was a Pokedex he replies with "oh, just that. just go to serebii.net. ever heard of it?" at which point I have to stifle a laugh because it's great to know that despite being away from the game for five years, Serebii posters are the same as they've ever been.
Round Two:
I SCRUB OUT TO HYBRID WHO UTTERLY RUINS ME. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK GODDAMIT FUCK. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST UTURN TO GYARADOS INSTEAD OF EXPLODING INTO THE FOCUS SASH I KNEW HE HAD BECAUSE EVERYONE HAD IT ON THEIR GARCHOMP HE'S NOT GOING TO CB STONE EDGE PRAYING FOR A SWITCH WTF WTF WTF WHY AM I SO STUPID
oh wait it doesn't matter because JOLTEON FUCKS ME IN THE ASS UNTIL CANDY COMES OUT christ you could have at least given me a reacharound i mean come on why did you bring jolteon when it can't hurt the latis or garchomp without some seriously questionable ivs ._____________.
I WOULD HAVE BEATEN THE FINALIST TOO WITH HIS SCRUB GENGAR LEAD FUCK YOU SINGLE-ELIMINATION KNOCKOUT FORMAT arrrrrgggggg
I then go on to win Brain Training despite apparently not being an adult. When the female compare asked me how many kids I had, I should have asked her what her plans were for the evening but instead I was all "hurf durf" and couldn't think of anything smart! Fuck. Can't win at Pokemon or snappy comebacks today, just not my day at all! All I have to show for my efforts is the copy of Brain Training, cramped legs, a massive headache, a box of magic cards I bought instead of/in addition to slashing my own wrists.
The party that night was pretty good, but this isn't where our story ends..
Day Two:
It's seven in the morning. My girlfriend and I get kicked out of the house we were crashing at. I wasn't originally going to play on Day Two as my legs hurt like fuck from Day One, but it's still early, I've got a head full of anger and so I race home, get prepped, race to the venue, and find my friends who have already lined up. Not willing to make the same mistake twice, I go out and buy about $30 worth of supplies (only about $10 got eaten), including bottled water, panadol for my ever present headache, and breakfast foods.
Alright. The air is also cleaner, everyone in line near the front deserves a big goddamn round of applause from me. I'm feeling great. This is going to be awesome.
Round One:
I play some kid and fuck the everloving shit out of him. I've lost more HP in RBY Pika Cup. I HEAR WEAVILE IS A GOOD POKEMON C/D????? His entire lineup gets OHKOed and I book the poor kid an all-expenses paid trip to Frowntown W.A.
My friends all get there. One plays the sister of the kid I played (I think she used his cart) and she gets wrecked. She then plays AGAIN against some little kid who we all cheered on despite him losing, because if you're going to cheat by entering multiple times you seriously need to get kicked right in the cunt.
I meet Hybrid's little brother, who came second on Day One. He's pretty cool, but unfortunately he scrubs out in round one and while his runner-up status got him onto the standby list, it didn't get him a second chance :(
Instead of sticking around with the unwashed masses I take advantage of the massive break between games to get some food and pass out in my car for a bit. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT ADVICE. It's suprising how goddamn gruelling the events were, mainly because the location was crap (no seats, tiny floor room, hold it somewhere north of the river next time prz!)
Round Two:
I play the guy who beat Hybrid's brother. He thinks Garchomp will be faster than Weavile and takes an Ice Punch right in the ovaries for his mistake. Lapras manages to down Azelf but Gyarados comes out and wrecks it, as well as his Charizard. There was one highlight though, both Ice Fang and whatever fire move he had missed simultaneously before Gyarados swung for lethal.
I showed him some of my stats afterwards, as well as the speed list I'd printed beforehand.
I Am The Wind uses a FEAR Phanpy named "X-BOX 360" against some 10 year old kid. The crowd goes nutso for him while this little kid just stares blankly at his screen thinking "when i grow up i am going to murder every single person in this fucking country"
Round Three:
One of my friends got his Wobba frozen by Ice Beam. It instantly thawed out and swung for lethal with Mirror Coat. lolz. However, he loses when Stone Edge misses, so what goes around really does come around
Similarly, another of my group gets fragged by a crit U-Turn buy a guy I would go on to face in Round Four, in what was possibly the closest game of Pokemon I've ever played.
OH LOOK WHO I'M PLAYING? GUESS WHAT, IT'S THE GUY FROM ROUND ONE! I don't know which family member's spot he took but after being paired against me he tries to weasel out! He doesn't get a single one of my Pokemon past like 80% HP despite me using the exact same lineup as before. THIRD TIME LUCKY MAYBE???
Despite the fact that he was blatantly cheating I really do need to thank the little guy for his help. So here it is, THANKS FOR SCOOPING ME INTO THE TOP 8, LITTLE GUY. IT ALMOST FELT LIKE I WAS CHEATING EXCEPT I WASN'T AND YOU WERE. tyvm!!1
Round Four:
Fuck this shit was close.
I play the guy who got the crit U-Turn last round. I am not sure exactly how it went but it ended up with Weavile VS Slowbro, only Slowbro has Leftovers+Calm Mind/Slack Off/Surf/Something and it looks like I might scrub out right here and now..until Weavile finally pulls through and grinds Slowbro into dirt. Very close game, and as a mark of respect I won't talk at length about how goddamn brilliant I am at Pokemon in this section. Oh no, not a word about my gigantic e-peen, not one.
Round Five:
Quarterfinals. I'm up against Red, who unfortunately scrubbed out first round on Day One. Her boyfriend Dunny posted a win last year (though last year Drayke managed to win a day, seriously what the hell ewan's retarded, i'm amazed he can even hold the stylus without trying to eat it), he placed in the Top 8 the day before and this might be his big chance to Get There.
Some crazy guy comes up to me while I'm picking my team, he then rolls up his sleeves to show me all of his rubber armband things while staring right at me. I think the tournament staff probably ejected him. Seriously wtf, I guess that's what happens south of the river.
She leads with Latias and I U-Turn to Weavile while she hits Calm Mind. I offer up a silent prayer to Toby Martin and the Gods of Pokemon as Weavile reaches for the chloroform and
Did you really think I was going to use a metaphor related to sexual assault when discussing a polite game of Pokemon between myself and someone of the opposite gender? Shame on you. Shame.
Not sure what else she did other than that it was decided by the opener. I seem to have attracted a fan in the crowd, as well.
Semi Finals:
I'm playing Dunny. Both days he has worn a jacket with FANBOY 01 on the back of it and I am trying my absolute best to take him seriously, we exchange pleasantries, shake hands, and get down to business.
Heracross leads. Okay, I've planned for this. I just U-Turn to Gyarados who Intimidates, DD up and th
FUCK
FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
SO SHOULD HAVE PUT WATERFALL ON GYARA BECAUSE CB HERACROSS RAPED ME WITH MEGAHORN thanks life orb!1111111111111
okay motherfucker i know you're not scarfed weavile comes in for the kill and ho ho lol garchomp what am i going to do with all those pokemon DVDs i what the hell
HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW A SCARFED GARCHOMP (IT'S NOT SASHED, OMG WTF????) KILLS WEAVILE IN ONE OUTRAGE ARRRRRRGGGGGGG i join wstfgl in the crying corner and we listen to slipknot while smoking clove cigarettes and cutting ourselves. FUCK
Completely outplayed! Dunny would then go on to win overall. Well done man, I have no-one to blame but myself for the loss and you certainly earnt that prize!
At least me and the other semifinalist got to shout "SEAKING" and "SMOGON.COM" up on stage after getting prizes. FUCK YEAH, SEAKING!
Photos coming soon. It is almost guaranteed that I will look like a tool in the photos taken of me that day by the staff, because in addition to being incredibly ugly I photograph even worse ._.
Foreword:
Props:
Everyone there who read Smogon, and there were a lot of you. The level of competition was suprisingly high for a place as apparently desolate as Perth.
Everyone who I beat. I can't believe I made it as far as I did on Day Two!
Everyone who beat me. Despite the format I didn't feel I lost to luck at all, both my losses were due to differences in player skill.
The tournament staff, yes even the compare (thankyou for embarassing me infront of an entire shopping centre).
Slops:
Anyone there who didn't shower that morning (see below)
Garchomp.
Preparation
Mountains of PMs between myself and Jumpman16 result in the longest team rate ever and what is in my mind the best team for the format.
(BTW, look up The Fuck Society and watch the movies that these names come from)
PUPPYWHIRL: Naive Azelf
EVs: 36 HP, 220 Spa, 252 Spd
Item: Choice Scarf
Moves: U-Turn, Thunderbolt, Flamethrower, Explosion
THIRTY FUCKING BUDEW TO GET THIS SHIT TRAINED AT L50. Trumps all the best openers in the format, thanks to its teammates.
SPIKETRAP?: Jolly Weavile
EVs: 36 HP, 252 Atk, 220 Spd
Item: Lum Berry
Moves: Substitute, Night Slash, Ice Punch, Aerial Ace
oh i'm sorry did you lead with a gengar? gg would you like to play again??? Sadly I didn't see a single Gengar all day ._.
BEARPOWERS: Adamant Gyarados
EVs: 68 HP, 252 Def, 188 Spd
Item: Life Orb
Moves: Dragon Dance, Earthquake, Ice Fang, Stone Edge.
Ironic that the massive defences I gave it were what allowed Heracross to kill it. I didn't see a single other Gyarados that day, and this was what I was going to switch in against it! So should have gone with Waterfall over Stone Edge, actually no, then I would have been tomjowned by the Milotic from the girl in the quarterfinals.
Having to learn all about D/P in a month did a number on me. I think I may have concentrated a little too much on this at work :(
Day 1: The Crying Corner.
Alright so I'm in line at something like 8:15 in the fucking morning. This is not my idea of a good start.
I would like to make mention that despite Pokemon being as mainstream as video games go, this tour brought out all the fucking freakshows in Perth.
Here is a public service announcement:
BEFORE YOU GO OUT IN PUBLIC, PLEASE WASH YOURSELF.
There's some guy infront of me who smells like complete ass and has what I swear is the goddamn greasiest hair I have ever seen. I've since been informed that this kid has some kind of unnamed medical condition which he wears this silly hat to hide, so uh more power to you bro, hire better carers imo. There's another guy there with a bit of paper taped to his shirt advertising some RP pokemon wifi league, he also could use the services of at least some goddamn deoderant. He's clearly made some effort to groom himself as he's put gel in his hair, or maybe it's excess grease from his hairy mass, so he must have made a conscious decision not to shower. At some point I physically recoil from the stench of what I think was some woman but I can't be certain who the culprit was.
Now I certainly didn't smell like roses myself, especially not on Day 2 when I was wearing one of those synthetic-fabric shirts that look rather swish but stick to you and smell like butt as the day goes on, but come on people the first thing you do when you wake up (or the last thing you do before you sleep) should be to CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN SELF. If you are one of the people mentioned in this paragraph and you are reading this, please, for the love of all that is holy, ask your mother where the bathroom is, how to operate the hot water tap, and to buy you some of that nice kid's shampoo that doesn't sting when it gets in your eyes. Please. Seriously.
There was some guy in a grey suit there, which is nice as he would have looked really pretty up on stage while I raped him with my amazing Pokemon, but unfortunately he scrubbed out in Round 1 and I didn't see him the next day. I imagine he took a shower before he came though, so props from me!
By this point the line was huge. I am keeping an eye out for someone who has Steelicks' fabled girth but apparently he didn't make it, and his RL circumference isn't as unthinkably gargantuan as I was first told. Eventually my housemate and his younger yet taller siblings rock up, we wait around for a bit, and then get down to business.
Round One:
My round one opponent is a guy in his mid to late teens. He's pretty laid-back. We exchange introductions, shake hands, make small talk about Smogon and the Greater Internet, and I kick the absolute stuffing out of him.
He had big balls for bringing Hippodon in, though. Huge balls. Gave my Weavile a run for its money, that's for certain.
One of my friends is told by the guy with the sign on his shirt mentioned above that "the real contest is tomorrow". This is after he scrubs out despite getting two crits. As it turns out, his statement would be true because I'm fucking amazing.
ATTN PERTH: FOCUS SASH GARCHOMP IS ONLY SUPRISING WHEN YOU'RE NOT THE HUNDREDTH PERSON WITH IT
Trivia Time:
"what is the legendary pokemon of knowledge?" "SEAKING"
While this is going on, I hear this muffled, sort of slurred retarded voice asking one of my friends what they're giving away. I immediately go for the Pokeball on my belt as I swear to god I have never seen a talking Bidoof before and I am going to catch this shit. After the kid was informed that it was a Pokedex he replies with "oh, just that. just go to serebii.net. ever heard of it?" at which point I have to stifle a laugh because it's great to know that despite being away from the game for five years, Serebii posters are the same as they've ever been.
Round Two:
I SCRUB OUT TO HYBRID WHO UTTERLY RUINS ME. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK GODDAMIT FUCK. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST UTURN TO GYARADOS INSTEAD OF EXPLODING INTO THE FOCUS SASH I KNEW HE HAD BECAUSE EVERYONE HAD IT ON THEIR GARCHOMP HE'S NOT GOING TO CB STONE EDGE PRAYING FOR A SWITCH WTF WTF WTF WHY AM I SO STUPID
oh wait it doesn't matter because JOLTEON FUCKS ME IN THE ASS UNTIL CANDY COMES OUT christ you could have at least given me a reacharound i mean come on why did you bring jolteon when it can't hurt the latis or garchomp without some seriously questionable ivs ._____________.
I WOULD HAVE BEATEN THE FINALIST TOO WITH HIS SCRUB GENGAR LEAD FUCK YOU SINGLE-ELIMINATION KNOCKOUT FORMAT arrrrrgggggg
I then go on to win Brain Training despite apparently not being an adult. When the female compare asked me how many kids I had, I should have asked her what her plans were for the evening but instead I was all "hurf durf" and couldn't think of anything smart! Fuck. Can't win at Pokemon or snappy comebacks today, just not my day at all! All I have to show for my efforts is the copy of Brain Training, cramped legs, a massive headache, a box of magic cards I bought instead of/in addition to slashing my own wrists.
The party that night was pretty good, but this isn't where our story ends..
Day Two:
It's seven in the morning. My girlfriend and I get kicked out of the house we were crashing at. I wasn't originally going to play on Day Two as my legs hurt like fuck from Day One, but it's still early, I've got a head full of anger and so I race home, get prepped, race to the venue, and find my friends who have already lined up. Not willing to make the same mistake twice, I go out and buy about $30 worth of supplies (only about $10 got eaten), including bottled water, panadol for my ever present headache, and breakfast foods.
Alright. The air is also cleaner, everyone in line near the front deserves a big goddamn round of applause from me. I'm feeling great. This is going to be awesome.
Round One:
I play some kid and fuck the everloving shit out of him. I've lost more HP in RBY Pika Cup. I HEAR WEAVILE IS A GOOD POKEMON C/D????? His entire lineup gets OHKOed and I book the poor kid an all-expenses paid trip to Frowntown W.A.
My friends all get there. One plays the sister of the kid I played (I think she used his cart) and she gets wrecked. She then plays AGAIN against some little kid who we all cheered on despite him losing, because if you're going to cheat by entering multiple times you seriously need to get kicked right in the cunt.
I meet Hybrid's little brother, who came second on Day One. He's pretty cool, but unfortunately he scrubs out in round one and while his runner-up status got him onto the standby list, it didn't get him a second chance :(
Instead of sticking around with the unwashed masses I take advantage of the massive break between games to get some food and pass out in my car for a bit. THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT ADVICE. It's suprising how goddamn gruelling the events were, mainly because the location was crap (no seats, tiny floor room, hold it somewhere north of the river next time prz!)
Round Two:
I play the guy who beat Hybrid's brother. He thinks Garchomp will be faster than Weavile and takes an Ice Punch right in the ovaries for his mistake. Lapras manages to down Azelf but Gyarados comes out and wrecks it, as well as his Charizard. There was one highlight though, both Ice Fang and whatever fire move he had missed simultaneously before Gyarados swung for lethal.
I showed him some of my stats afterwards, as well as the speed list I'd printed beforehand.
I Am The Wind uses a FEAR Phanpy named "X-BOX 360" against some 10 year old kid. The crowd goes nutso for him while this little kid just stares blankly at his screen thinking "when i grow up i am going to murder every single person in this fucking country"
Round Three:
One of my friends got his Wobba frozen by Ice Beam. It instantly thawed out and swung for lethal with Mirror Coat. lolz. However, he loses when Stone Edge misses, so what goes around really does come around
Similarly, another of my group gets fragged by a crit U-Turn buy a guy I would go on to face in Round Four, in what was possibly the closest game of Pokemon I've ever played.
OH LOOK WHO I'M PLAYING? GUESS WHAT, IT'S THE GUY FROM ROUND ONE! I don't know which family member's spot he took but after being paired against me he tries to weasel out! He doesn't get a single one of my Pokemon past like 80% HP despite me using the exact same lineup as before. THIRD TIME LUCKY MAYBE???
Despite the fact that he was blatantly cheating I really do need to thank the little guy for his help. So here it is, THANKS FOR SCOOPING ME INTO THE TOP 8, LITTLE GUY. IT ALMOST FELT LIKE I WAS CHEATING EXCEPT I WASN'T AND YOU WERE. tyvm!!1
Round Four:
Fuck this shit was close.
I play the guy who got the crit U-Turn last round. I am not sure exactly how it went but it ended up with Weavile VS Slowbro, only Slowbro has Leftovers+Calm Mind/Slack Off/Surf/Something and it looks like I might scrub out right here and now..until Weavile finally pulls through and grinds Slowbro into dirt. Very close game, and as a mark of respect I won't talk at length about how goddamn brilliant I am at Pokemon in this section. Oh no, not a word about my gigantic e-peen, not one.
Round Five:
Quarterfinals. I'm up against Red, who unfortunately scrubbed out first round on Day One. Her boyfriend Dunny posted a win last year (though last year Drayke managed to win a day, seriously what the hell ewan's retarded, i'm amazed he can even hold the stylus without trying to eat it), he placed in the Top 8 the day before and this might be his big chance to Get There.
Some crazy guy comes up to me while I'm picking my team, he then rolls up his sleeves to show me all of his rubber armband things while staring right at me. I think the tournament staff probably ejected him. Seriously wtf, I guess that's what happens south of the river.
She leads with Latias and I U-Turn to Weavile while she hits Calm Mind. I offer up a silent prayer to Toby Martin and the Gods of Pokemon as Weavile reaches for the chloroform and
Did you really think I was going to use a metaphor related to sexual assault when discussing a polite game of Pokemon between myself and someone of the opposite gender? Shame on you. Shame.
Not sure what else she did other than that it was decided by the opener. I seem to have attracted a fan in the crowd, as well.
Semi Finals:
I'm playing Dunny. Both days he has worn a jacket with FANBOY 01 on the back of it and I am trying my absolute best to take him seriously, we exchange pleasantries, shake hands, and get down to business.
Heracross leads. Okay, I've planned for this. I just U-Turn to Gyarados who Intimidates, DD up and th
FUCK
FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK
SO SHOULD HAVE PUT WATERFALL ON GYARA BECAUSE CB HERACROSS RAPED ME WITH MEGAHORN thanks life orb!1111111111111
okay motherfucker i know you're not scarfed weavile comes in for the kill and ho ho lol garchomp what am i going to do with all those pokemon DVDs i what the hell
HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW A SCARFED GARCHOMP (IT'S NOT SASHED, OMG WTF????) KILLS WEAVILE IN ONE OUTRAGE ARRRRRRGGGGGGG i join wstfgl in the crying corner and we listen to slipknot while smoking clove cigarettes and cutting ourselves. FUCK
Completely outplayed! Dunny would then go on to win overall. Well done man, I have no-one to blame but myself for the loss and you certainly earnt that prize!
At least me and the other semifinalist got to shout "SEAKING" and "SMOGON.COM" up on stage after getting prizes. FUCK YEAH, SEAKING!
Photos coming soon. It is almost guaranteed that I will look like a tool in the photos taken of me that day by the staff, because in addition to being incredibly ugly I photograph even worse ._.
