I've been out on the internet as long as I've been comfortable with it (12 with some, 13–14 with everyone... I'm 20), which is a very long time and encompasses all the people I still have any contact with. Offline I haven't had many close friends, although I had a few friendship groups in primary school. In high school I was in the misfit clique, I suppose (i.e. goth/emo girls + me—three of us were queer and embarrassingly obsessed with Japan for various reasons), and I was the first person one of them came out to. So she was the first person I came out to offline, and I felt very normal around her. She ended up in a relationship with the other girl that continued past high school, and that girl was bullied quite a lot for being a lesbian and moved to an all-girls' (lol) Anglican school I used to attend, so it was normal for us to discuss all kinds of aspects of it.Hello! I suppose I identify with this thread. I'm pansexual (and pangender/genderqueer) and I'm not partial to any specific genders. However, I thought I was straight until I was 19 years old! It took weeks of introspection and "Would I...?" to realize I was just sexually complicated.
Anywho, I'd like to gush a little here about a recent experience at Anime Boston this past week, as well as ask a question. Though I've come to terms with my sexuality over 2 years now I hadn't actually made a connection with a guy. I was able to meet a stranger and make a connection, and I made a friend at the con. I ended up flirting with him over the weekend! It was a big step for me. I was at the con with a friend I've known since middle school but that was the first time he saw me act that way with a guy as well, and it felt like a big step to feel comfortable in my skin around people who knew me from long before I came out.
Which brings me to my question for the LGTBQ people here! Do any of you have friends you made from before you came out that you still feel weird about being yourself around? Terrible wording, I know. But in my case, I have friends from when I thought I only liked women, and now that I know I like people I still feel shy around being comfy with guys when I'm around old friends who haven't seen it or aren't used to it. Rather, I'm not used to being that way around them I'd say ^^
When I dropped out we fell out of touch sadly, but I still have my best friend from primary school. While my mom and my brother know I'm queer, I've never told her and it's never come up in conversation. I do feel awkward around her sometimes when our conversations become very heterosexual, especially since I'm not very sexually inclined; I'm interested in her romantic life, but I feel very uncomfortable discussing the attractiveness of male celebrities and so on, or her pressuring me about showing no interest in boys. (I think up until this point she's just assumed I'm a late bloomer, since I've been reclusive most of my adolescence—hi, heteronormativity).
I don't feel comfortable telling her because I'm afraid she'll jump to the conclusion I'm interested in her and that would be painfully awkward; we have very sororal relations and she's a very good friend and I'd hate to create that awkwardness because I'm not sure she would fully understand. I believe she would accept it, but that it would be strange to her, so yeah. I also feel like it's something so natural about me that I hate to draw specific attention to it, but that's just me.
Congratulations on figuring out more about your identity and meeting people!
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