corrupt a wish

[Ren]

granted but the amount of infinite loop wishes have split timelines, and so now there are infinite versions of this thread and we have broken spacetime and now the world's ending and we're all fucked. this is why 2020 has been so bad

i really wish i had a grilled cheese to distract myself from what weve done

 

[drampa's grandpa]

granted but the amount of infinite loop wishes have split timelines, and so now there are infinite versions of this thread and we have broken spacetime and now the world's ending and we're all fucked. this is why 2020 has been so bad

i really wish i had a grilled cheese to distract myself from what weve done

granted but you're lactose intolerant now and the distraction is you in the bathroom for hours

I wish Taco Bell food didn't give people stomachaches.

 

[Dorron]

granted but you're lactose intolerant now and the distraction is you in the bathroom for hours

I wish Taco Bell food didn't give people stomachaches.

granted but it will be that expensive that you won't have money enough to buy it

I wish critical hits didn't exist

 

[CaffeineBoost]

granted but it will be that expensive that you won't have money enough to buy it

I wish critical hits didn't exist

granted, full paras have been brought in to replace them

i wish i had a better computer

 

[drampa's grandpa]

granted, full paras have been brought in to replace them

i wish i had a better computer

granted but GL Volkner DIES

er I mean

granted but you have to travel across the world to retrieve said computer. You try to get it shipped, but the seller is adamant: you must pick it up in person. They arrange passage on a dingy boat on which it is impossible to maintain social distancing, and on which you have to poop into a Rube Goldberg Machine which ends up catapulting the feces over the deck, inevitably showering everyone on-board. When you finally arrive at your destination you meet the seller of your new laptop: two penguins in a tuxedo (redundant I know). They insist you pay for the laptop in fish, at 69x market exchange value. You would protest, but you heard on the way up that the penguin mob was not one you wanted to cross.

You eventually make it home with your prize. Was it worth it?

I wish for a truly excellent Gravity Falls continuation series or sequel.

 

[War Incarnate]

i wish i had a better computer

Granted, but it has no security set up for you at all. And you cannot set the security up for the computer either.

I wish for a truly excellent Gravity Falls continuation series or sequel.

Granted, but you are not allowed to watch it, or else you must wipe out half of the Snom population.

I wish I could make 2020 great again (and this time it cannot have any drawbacks that can cause death, if you want to come up with a drawback for this wish you must make it not life-threatening and make it minor at best or a massive nuisance at worst)

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

I wish I could make 2020 great again (and this time it cannot have any drawbacks that can cause death, if you want to come up with a drawback for this wish you must make it not life-threatening and make it minor at best or a massive nuisance at worst)

granted but you die

i wish i was plastic man

 

[War Incarnate]

granted but you die

i asked for a non-life-threatening side effect, and this is what i get. this is why you don't make such precise wishes

i wish i was plastic man

Granted but you cannot exist

I wish I could make the dankest meme

 

[lydian]

I wish I could make the dankest meme

granted, but no one gets it and it loses all the funniness cus you have to explain it yourself every single time

i wish to have a mario kart wii world record

 

[War Incarnate]

i wish to have a mario kart wii world record

Granted but everyone hates you for doing too good at getting the world record

I wish I could recreate "Oh my god, they killed Kenny" from South Park except I get to time travel to reverse the damage so that nothing happens

 

[Texas Cloverleaf]

Granted but everyone hates you for doing too good at getting the world record

I wish I could recreate "Oh my god, they killed Kenny" from South Park except I get to time travel to reverse the damage so that nothing happens

Granted but by reversing time you also erased all memories of the actions you took


I wish War Incarnate made funnier posts

 

[War Incarnate]

I wish War Incarnate made funnier posts

Granted but all I post is nonstop cringe to you and its funny to everyone else

I wish I could be in South Park

 

[Ivy]

Granted but all I post is nonstop cringe to you and its funny to everyone else

I wish I could be in South Park

okay, but you're Kenny.

I wish people would stop making meta wishes (I understand and acknowledge the hypocrisy here.)

 

[ShootingStarmie]

Granted but all I post is nonstop cringe to you and its funny to everyone else

I wish I could be in South Park

Granted, but your life freezes whenever someone turns the TV off or changes the channel

I wish I had total mastery over magnetism (aka Magneto powers)

 

[War Incarnate]

okay, but you're Kenny.

thank you

 

[Texas Cloverleaf]

Granted, but your life freezes whenever someone turns the TV off or changes the channel

I wish I had total mastery over magnetism (aka Magneto powers)

Granted but you get blinding headaches due to the influence of Earth's magnetic field


I wish I had the ability to immediately convince a counterparty in an argument that I am correct when I am in fact factually correct

 

[War Incarnate]

I wish I had the ability to immediately convince a counterparty in an argument that I am correct when I am in fact factually correct

Granted but you are not allowed to use it when discussing politics or discussing anything you do not like

I wish I could raid a Discord server and not get banned from the server in question

 

[ShootingStarmie]

Granted but you are not allowed to use it when discussing politics or discussing anything you do not like

I wish I could raid a Discord server and not get banned from the server in question

Granted, but you're constantly muted instead and have no privileges in any channel

I wish I painlessly pooped solid gold

 

[Texas Cloverleaf]

Granted, but you're constantly muted instead and have no privileges in any channel

I wish I painlessly pooped solid gold

Granted but you unknowingly gain this ability from your butthole being the reincarnation of King Midas (anal will be...interesting)

I wish I could cure cancer

 

[Ren]

Granted but you unknowingly gain this ability from your butthole being the reincarnation of King Midas (anal will be...interesting)

I wish I could cure cancer

Granted, but for every case you cure, a new user ends up joining Smogon.com and clogs your notifications ten times per day with stuff you find unfunny.

I wish I could go to sleep whenever I felt like it (zoom lectures are boring as fuck)

 

[ShootingStarmie]

Granted but you unknowingly gain this ability from your butthole being the reincarnation of King Midas (anal will be...interesting)

I wish I could cure cancer

Granted, but anyone cured by your power is instead infected with Malaria.

I wish I didn't have to sleep

 

[lydian]

I wish I could go to sleep whenever I felt like it (zoom lectures are boring as fuck)

I wish I didn't have to sleep

granted, but you two swap wishes

i wish i could control the weather

 

[Ren]

granted, but you two swap wishes

i wish i could control the weather

fuck LOL

granted, but instead of controlling the weather to your liking, you can only set it to whatever weather you desire least at that moment

i wish i could make pokemon a game that causes nobody frustration cause yall are fuckin wholesome :)

 

[ShootingStarmie]

fuck LOL

granted, but instead of controlling the weather to your liking, you can only set it to whatever weather you desire least at that moment

i wish i could make pokemon a game that causes nobody frustration cause yall are fuckin wholesome :)

Granted, but no one buys the game because we all secretly like to suffer and like using hax as an excuse for misplays

I wish I could predict the future accurately

 

[Ren]

Granted, but no one buys the game because we all secretly like to suffer and like using hax as an excuse for misplays

I wish I could predict the future accurately

It only works 50% of the time when you're high

I wish I knew who the impostor was whenever I played among us as a crewmate