All the posters down in smogoff liked april fools a lot,
But phoopes, who posted just south of smogoff, does not!
phoopes hates april fools, the whole spring season!
I hear you ask why, let me tell you the reason...
It could be his ratio just wasn't right.
It could be, perhaps, that his dress was too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his post count was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his ratio or his dress,
He stood there on april fools, hating the rest.
Staring down from the cave with a sour, lippy frown,
At the happy threads posted everywhere in their town.
For he knew now, every poster down in smogoff beneath,
Was ranking FNF songs while baring their teeth.
"And they're putting MILF in A tier!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is april fools, it's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his icy fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to make april fools worth its coming!"
For tomorrow he knew, all the posters and lurkers,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush to post!
And then! Oh, the likes! Oh, the likes!
Likes! Likes! Likes!
Then the posters, young and old, would sit down to shitpost.
And they'd shitpost! And they'd shitpost! And they'd shitpost!
They would shitpost on Mario's death and release.
Which was something phoopes couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every poster down in smogoff, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, ready for ranking.
They'd stand hand in hand. And the posters started ranking!
They'd rank! And they'd rank! And they'd RANK!
RANK! RANK! RANK!
And the more phoopes thought of these tier list threads,
The more his moderator power went to his head.
"Why, for 8 months i've put up with it now!"
"I must stop these threads from coming, but HOW?"
Then he got an idea. An awful idea!
PHOOPES GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" phoopes laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick cover story that he would tote.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Jynxy trick!"
"With this story, no one will think i'm a dick!"
"All I need is a button..." phoopes looked around.
And he saw it, "delete all", it would surely confound!
So he got in his sleigh, whipping his Stantlers,
"Giddap!" He commanded, crueler than most handlers.
He sled down through smogoff, in the dead of the night,
Like a cruel, twisted fairy-tale knight.
All the threads were dark, with no activity in hours.
First, he went to the Meme Thread to use his powers.
"This is stop number one," old phoopes hissed,
And he went to select it, you get the gist.
He entered the thread, convinced only he was on.
Then he saw the last meme, made by an unknowing pawn.
"This post," he grinned, "is the first thing to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, highlighted thread aglow,
And went around the whole subforum, selecting every thread!
Hot takes, tier lists, shower thoughts, nothing was safe until he went to bed!
As he was in the last thread, his powers again went to his head.
phoopes wasn't as careful in here, many sounds were made in his stead.
Then he heard a small sound like the clicks of keys.
He turned around fast, and saw a small poster!
Little PokeKids2, who was not more than 13.
phoopes had been caught by this little smogoff poster.
PokeKids2 was amazed, and he stepped closer.
They stared at phoopes and said "phoopes, why,"
"Why are you going to delete these threads, WHY?"
But you remember that story from before,
phoopes brought it up quick, and explained his fake lore!
"Oh, it's just an april fools prank" he said.
And PokeKids2 believed it, logging off the thread!
So phoopes smiled wide, and selected it all.
He was ready for all the posters to bawl!
Then he posted a thread himself, the old fool,
For hints, he left nothing, just sat back and drooled.
He threatened to erase all of smogoff tomorrow,
With a threatening delete-all combo.
Then the time passed, while posters attempted to bargain
And argue if he should do it or not.
It was quarter past dawn, all the posters still a-bed,
All the posters, still asnooze when it really hit his head,
"All this moderator power! I can't be stopped!"
He failed to remember that his badges could be cropped.
Three thousand feet up the side of Mt. Coronet,
He rode with his power to delete all, no sweat.
"Poopoo to the posters!" he was icily humming,
"They'll find out now that I wasn't lying, it's coming!"
"They're just logging on! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two,
then the posters down in smogoff will cry boohoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned phoopes, "That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And phoopes put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear sounds rising over the snow.
They started in low, then they started to grow.
There were sad sounds, and some that were merry,
It couldn't be so, but some were merry! VERY!
He stared down at smogoff! phoopes popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every poster down in smogoff, the tall and the small,
Had different opinions, with no conflict at all (ok maybe a little)!
"But that wasn't the point," he thought in his little icy mind,
"I was trying to leave all of smogoff behind!"
And phoopes, with his feet NOT RESISTING ICE in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "Did I do it so?"
"The meme thread is gone! So are the quotes and hot takes!"
"I would've thought more was at stake!"
And he puzzled three hours, til his puzzler was sore.
Then phoopes thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe people," he thought, "people have different thoughts."
"Maybe some posters...perhaps... like the new smogoff a lot!
What happened then? Well... in smogoff 2.0 they say,
That everyone's post and like count shrank three sizes that day.
And the moment our counts felt so light,
We protested the smogoff mods in the bright morning light,
And they gave us our scores back! And our posts were returned!
Everything was right again, and we were no longer concerned.
But phoopes, who posted just south of smogoff, does not!
phoopes hates april fools, the whole spring season!
I hear you ask why, let me tell you the reason...
It could be his ratio just wasn't right.
It could be, perhaps, that his dress was too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his post count was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his ratio or his dress,
He stood there on april fools, hating the rest.
Staring down from the cave with a sour, lippy frown,
At the happy threads posted everywhere in their town.
For he knew now, every poster down in smogoff beneath,
Was ranking FNF songs while baring their teeth.
"And they're putting MILF in A tier!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is april fools, it's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his icy fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to make april fools worth its coming!"
For tomorrow he knew, all the posters and lurkers,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush to post!
And then! Oh, the likes! Oh, the likes!
Likes! Likes! Likes!
Then the posters, young and old, would sit down to shitpost.
And they'd shitpost! And they'd shitpost! And they'd shitpost!
They would shitpost on Mario's death and release.
Which was something phoopes couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every poster down in smogoff, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, ready for ranking.
They'd stand hand in hand. And the posters started ranking!
They'd rank! And they'd rank! And they'd RANK!
RANK! RANK! RANK!
And the more phoopes thought of these tier list threads,
The more his moderator power went to his head.
"Why, for 8 months i've put up with it now!"
"I must stop these threads from coming, but HOW?"
Then he got an idea. An awful idea!
PHOOPES GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" phoopes laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick cover story that he would tote.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Jynxy trick!"
"With this story, no one will think i'm a dick!"
"All I need is a button..." phoopes looked around.
And he saw it, "delete all", it would surely confound!
So he got in his sleigh, whipping his Stantlers,
"Giddap!" He commanded, crueler than most handlers.
He sled down through smogoff, in the dead of the night,
Like a cruel, twisted fairy-tale knight.
All the threads were dark, with no activity in hours.
First, he went to the Meme Thread to use his powers.
"This is stop number one," old phoopes hissed,
And he went to select it, you get the gist.
He entered the thread, convinced only he was on.
Then he saw the last meme, made by an unknowing pawn.
"This post," he grinned, "is the first thing to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, highlighted thread aglow,
And went around the whole subforum, selecting every thread!
Hot takes, tier lists, shower thoughts, nothing was safe until he went to bed!
As he was in the last thread, his powers again went to his head.
phoopes wasn't as careful in here, many sounds were made in his stead.
Then he heard a small sound like the clicks of keys.
He turned around fast, and saw a small poster!
Little PokeKids2, who was not more than 13.
phoopes had been caught by this little smogoff poster.
PokeKids2 was amazed, and he stepped closer.
They stared at phoopes and said "phoopes, why,"
"Why are you going to delete these threads, WHY?"
But you remember that story from before,
phoopes brought it up quick, and explained his fake lore!
"Oh, it's just an april fools prank" he said.
And PokeKids2 believed it, logging off the thread!
So phoopes smiled wide, and selected it all.
He was ready for all the posters to bawl!
Then he posted a thread himself, the old fool,
For hints, he left nothing, just sat back and drooled.
He threatened to erase all of smogoff tomorrow,
With a threatening delete-all combo.
Then the time passed, while posters attempted to bargain
And argue if he should do it or not.
It was quarter past dawn, all the posters still a-bed,
All the posters, still asnooze when it really hit his head,
"All this moderator power! I can't be stopped!"
He failed to remember that his badges could be cropped.
Three thousand feet up the side of Mt. Coronet,
He rode with his power to delete all, no sweat.
"Poopoo to the posters!" he was icily humming,
"They'll find out now that I wasn't lying, it's coming!"
"They're just logging on! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two,
then the posters down in smogoff will cry boohoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned phoopes, "That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And phoopes put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear sounds rising over the snow.
They started in low, then they started to grow.
There were sad sounds, and some that were merry,
It couldn't be so, but some were merry! VERY!
He stared down at smogoff! phoopes popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every poster down in smogoff, the tall and the small,
Had different opinions, with no conflict at all (ok maybe a little)!
"But that wasn't the point," he thought in his little icy mind,
"I was trying to leave all of smogoff behind!"
And phoopes, with his feet NOT RESISTING ICE in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "Did I do it so?"
"The meme thread is gone! So are the quotes and hot takes!"
"I would've thought more was at stake!"
And he puzzled three hours, til his puzzler was sore.
Then phoopes thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe people," he thought, "people have different thoughts."
"Maybe some posters...perhaps... like the new smogoff a lot!
What happened then? Well... in smogoff 2.0 they say,
That everyone's post and like count shrank three sizes that day.
And the moment our counts felt so light,
We protested the smogoff mods in the bright morning light,
And they gave us our scores back! And our posts were returned!
Everything was right again, and we were no longer concerned.
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