captkirby quote database

[mf]

idk whats going on with discord so this thread is the emergency backup chat room. I think we were talking about the best captkirby quotes?

 

[BP]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1485833545511993353

gonna play the shit outta this game

 

[Fishy]

i would participate, but....... . .. . . .. . (ಥ﹏ಥ) the server is down....

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

hey guys

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

check out this awesome tweet i just found

 

[CaffeineBoost]

mods someone please fix the discord, thank you.

 

[mf]

ok discord is back. stand down posters.

 

[phoopes]

you're telling me there was a problem with this side discord?

looks like a different side discord is getting my vote in the 2021 Smog Awards...

 

[faint]

[3:42 PM] CaptCombee: No. I never said Scarlet Johansson was hot. I said she was attractive. There is a fundamental difference between being hot and attractive. I am far more inclined to have sex with a woman I find hot than attractive. I cannot believe I have to explain this to you.

 

[Fishy]

[00:22:02] <CaptKirby> everyone should be smart and elitist
[00:22:06] <CaptKirby> and subjigate the poor ands tupid
[00:22:13] <+evan> lol
[00:22:14] <m0nkfish> subjigate
[00:22:15] <m0nkfish> lol
[00:22:19] <@Jumpman16> lol
[00:22:21] <CaptKirby> is that not how you spell that word
[00:22:23] <m0nkfish> nice one ck
[00:22:24] <@Jumpman16> "maybe it was a typo"
[00:22:30] <CaptKirby> I never look words up that i learned in like second grade
[00:22:30] <CaptKirby> sorry

"sorry" lol

 

[cookie]

<@CaptKirby> it is apart from my will thunda
<@CaptKirby> I cannot help being intelligent
<@CaptKirby> even if I want or try to be dumb in a situation, it has failed
<@CaptKirby> like in the past when I would try to dumb myself down to attract women
<@CaptKirby> it is simply impossible
<@CaptKirby> I am rabidly intelligent, this is fact
<@CaptKirby> I am "ragingly/uncontrollably" intelligent
<@thunda> so basically you are a dickhead?

 

[Fishy]

<@CaptKirby> it is apart from my will thunda
<@CaptKirby> I cannot help being intelligent
<@CaptKirby> even if I want or try to be dumb in a situation, it has failed
<@CaptKirby> like in the past when I would try to dumb myself down to attract women
<@CaptKirby> it is simply impossible
<@CaptKirby> I am rabidly intelligent, this is fact
<@CaptKirby> I am "ragingly/uncontrollably" intelligent
<@thunda> so basically you are a dickhead?

a perfect segue for:

[16:18] <@Raikage> mr burns will be dead
[16:18] <@Gmax> Gnight Raikage
[16:18] <@jumpluff> sweet dreams
[16:18] <@jumpluff> ^^
[16:18] <@thunda> he will die 5am tonight
[16:19] <@Gmax> I won't kick you off :(
[16:19] * Raikage (~chatzilla@contentment.happiness.life.death) Quit (chronicles is my fucker gand)
[16:19] <@thunda> or tomorning
[16:19] <@thunda> whats it called
[16:19] <@thunda> when a morning is coming

 

[cookie]

[01:40:38] <cookie> fearow/hypno/missy/golem/meganium/golduck
[01:40:42] <cookie> yeah i 6-0'd ck's team
[01:40:47] <m0nkfish> haha nice
[01:40:54] <CaptKirby> you only 6-0ed me with all your shit at like 20%
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> stop pretending you asshole
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> >:(
[01:41:03] <m0nkfish> thats still a 6-0!
[01:41:04] <cookie> yeah it was still a 6-0
[01:41:09] <CaptKirby> yeah but come on
[01:41:10] <ghost> 6-0 is 6-0
[01:41:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 where you have one pokemon at like 20% is one thing
[01:41:20] <CaptKirby> but I damaged EVERY single thing on your team substantially
[01:41:22] <cookie> so
[01:41:31] <CaptKirby> I just lost out to your switching and the like trying to set up my sweepers
[01:41:31] <cookie> did you get to 100% with any of them?
[01:41:36] <CaptKirby> lol
[01:41:41] <CaptKirby> you are acting like the 6-0 is impressive
[01:41:45] <CaptKirby> your 6-0 over me was basically a 2-0 at best
[01:41:46] <CaptKirby> is my point
[01:41:48] <cookie> rofl
[01:41:57] <m0nkfish> hahaha ck how can you deny that a 6-0 is a 6-0
[01:41:58] <CaptKirby> all that matters is who won and lost
[01:41:58] <m0nkfish> i dont get it
[01:42:00] <ghost> except it was 6
[01:42:03] <CaptKirby> how do you not get it
[01:42:12] <ghost> you didn't kill anything
[01:42:14] <ghost> regardless
[01:42:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 matters when you like destroyed a team with a Dragon Dance Gyarados and it was embarrassing
[01:42:15] <m0nkfish> because youre ignoring the basic facts that he had 6 surviving pokemon and you had none
[01:42:19] <CaptKirby> not when everything was damaged like fuck anyway
[01:42:29] <cookie> stop trying to create an 'equivalent' score for my win margin
[01:42:33] <ghost> lol
[01:42:36] <m0nkfish> thats even worse because you managed to not KO a single thing even though you had no massive weakness
[01:42:41] <ghost> haha



[01:43:36] <CaptKirby> anyway cookie obviously you well outplayed me
[01:43:45] <CaptKirby> but your bragging about 6-0 makes it sound like you DESTROYED me
[01:43:46] <CaptKirby> which is not what happened
[01:43:55] <cookie> i DID destroy you
[01:44:02] <CaptKirby> not even close
[01:44:03] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:04] <m0nkfish> 6-0
[01:44:05] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:09] <CaptKirby> the only person who has destroyed me at uu is husk
[01:44:15] <ghost> 6-0 is destroyed alwats
[01:44:18] <ghost> oooh
[01:44:27] <CaptKirby> it is not you fuckass
[01:44:32] <ghost> yes it
[01:44:33] <ghost> is
[01:44:43] <ghost> 6-0 means you didn't even get close to beating him
[01:44:50] <ghost> you couldn't take out even 1 pokemon
[01:44:52] <CaptKirby> when they are all stuck down around 20% range then yes
[01:44:54] <CaptKirby> it means I did get close
[01:45:00] <cookie> close is nothing
[01:45:02] <ghost> you got close to killing 1
[01:45:04] <ghost> 6 times
[01:45:10] <ghost> good job
[01:46:22] <CaptKirby> anyway I am not embarrassed about losing with my underused team at all
[01:46:28] <CaptKirby> it is all rby and all physical and mostly sweepers


[01:52:20] <m0nkfish> so ck yes or no: did cookie 6-0 you
[01:52:24] <m0nkfish> simple one word answer
[01:52:25] <m0nkfish> yes or no
[01:52:31] <CaptKirby> yes, he 6-0ed me, and it was as meanginful as a typical 2-0

 

[az]

[01:40:38] <cookie> fearow/hypno/missy/golem/meganium/golduck
[01:40:42] <cookie> yeah i 6-0'd ck's team
[01:40:47] <m0nkfish> haha nice
[01:40:54] <CaptKirby> you only 6-0ed me with all your shit at like 20%
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> stop pretending you asshole
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> >:(
[01:41:03] <m0nkfish> thats still a 6-0!
[01:41:04] <cookie> yeah it was still a 6-0
[01:41:09] <CaptKirby> yeah but come on
[01:41:10] <ghost> 6-0 is 6-0
[01:41:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 where you have one pokemon at like 20% is one thing
[01:41:20] <CaptKirby> but I damaged EVERY single thing on your team substantially
[01:41:22] <cookie> so
[01:41:31] <CaptKirby> I just lost out to your switching and the like trying to set up my sweepers
[01:41:31] <cookie> did you get to 100% with any of them?
[01:41:36] <CaptKirby> lol
[01:41:41] <CaptKirby> you are acting like the 6-0 is impressive
[01:41:45] <CaptKirby> your 6-0 over me was basically a 2-0 at best
[01:41:46] <CaptKirby> is my point
[01:41:48] <cookie> rofl
[01:41:57] <m0nkfish> hahaha ck how can you deny that a 6-0 is a 6-0
[01:41:58] <CaptKirby> all that matters is who won and lost
[01:41:58] <m0nkfish> i dont get it
[01:42:00] <ghost> except it was 6
[01:42:03] <CaptKirby> how do you not get it
[01:42:12] <ghost> you didn't kill anything
[01:42:14] <ghost> regardless
[01:42:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 matters when you like destroyed a team with a Dragon Dance Gyarados and it was embarrassing
[01:42:15] <m0nkfish> because youre ignoring the basic facts that he had 6 surviving pokemon and you had none
[01:42:19] <CaptKirby> not when everything was damaged like fuck anyway
[01:42:29] <cookie> stop trying to create an 'equivalent' score for my win margin
[01:42:33] <ghost> lol
[01:42:36] <m0nkfish> thats even worse because you managed to not KO a single thing even though you had no massive weakness
[01:42:41] <ghost> haha



[01:43:36] <CaptKirby> anyway cookie obviously you well outplayed me
[01:43:45] <CaptKirby> but your bragging about 6-0 makes it sound like you DESTROYED me
[01:43:46] <CaptKirby> which is not what happened
[01:43:55] <cookie> i DID destroy you
[01:44:02] <CaptKirby> not even close
[01:44:03] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:04] <m0nkfish> 6-0
[01:44:05] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:09] <CaptKirby> the only person who has destroyed me at uu is husk
[01:44:15] <ghost> 6-0 is destroyed alwats
[01:44:18] <ghost> oooh
[01:44:27] <CaptKirby> it is not you fuckass
[01:44:32] <ghost> yes it
[01:44:33] <ghost> is
[01:44:43] <ghost> 6-0 means you didn't even get close to beating him
[01:44:50] <ghost> you couldn't take out even 1 pokemon
[01:44:52] <CaptKirby> when they are all stuck down around 20% range then yes
[01:44:54] <CaptKirby> it means I did get close
[01:45:00] <cookie> close is nothing
[01:45:02] <ghost> you got close to killing 1
[01:45:04] <ghost> 6 times
[01:45:10] <ghost> good job
[01:46:22] <CaptKirby> anyway I am not embarrassed about losing with my underused team at all
[01:46:28] <CaptKirby> it is all rby and all physical and mostly sweepers


[01:52:20] <m0nkfish> so ck yes or no: did cookie 6-0 you
[01:52:24] <m0nkfish> simple one word answer
[01:52:25] <m0nkfish> yes or no
[01:52:31] <CaptKirby> yes, he 6-0ed me, and it was as meanginful as a typical 2-0

one of the Finest All-Time Smogon Moments of yore

look forward to voting for this in the 2021 smog awards

 

[antemortem]

this thread is being converted into the captkirby quote database. please be ptaient while the updates complete.

 

[faint]

[3:52 PM] faint: i fucking hate slack ads
[3:52 PM] faint: they make me look at slack
[3:52 PM] CaptCombee: I don't hate them at all
[3:52 PM] CaptCombee: have been able to 100% zone them out
[3:52 PM] CaptCombee: any commercial I can 100% zone out is an amazing ad
[3:53 PM] faint: do you use slack?
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: please keep up the good work slack devs
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: nope
[3:53 PM] faint: thats why
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: ???
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: I've literally successfully ignored 100% of the commercials
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: I have used slack in my life .. your claim is wrong
[3:53 PM] faint: ck you literally successfully have no idea what i'm getting at
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: I used slack all year in 2017
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: you have no idea what I'm getting at
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: which is that the commercials are 100.0% ignorable
[3:53 PM] CaptCombee: audio and visual
[3:54 PM] faint: that's great, but if you don't actively use it 5 years later that's irrelevant
[3:54 PM] CaptCombee: the commercial is making you look at slack cause you're not successfully ignoring the commercial when you should be

 

[mf]

ok the data migration looks incomplete. we are still missing handjobs and cup of sugar/block of cheese

 

[antemortem]

ok the data migration looks incomplete. we are still missing handjobs and cup of sugar/block of cheese

i-i did my best? that’s all the files i can see…nobody prepared me for this, what should we do?

 

[Fishy]

ok the data migration looks incomplete. we are still missing handjobs and cup of sugar/block of cheese

a cup of sugar a day keeps the insulin away~~~~~*~*~*~*~*

edit:

<CaptKirby> like for lunch I would have an entire block of cheese
<CaptKirby> then for supper I would eat sugar
<CaptKirby> I would mix together white and brown sugar
<CaptKirby> and then put in sprinkles and shit
<@Hipmonlee> how much sugar did you eat
<CaptKirby> like a 10 ounce cup's worth
<CaptKirby> if I was still REALLY hungry I would eat a second cup

 

[Fishy]

grandpa
[18:57:58] <Jth> how'd you manage to gain 20+ pounds
[18:58:03] <CaptKirby> Jth, my grandfather died
[18:58:11] <CaptKirby> and I binged a lot
[18:58:12] <Jth> did you eat him or something

monkfish original capture
[20:50:06] <CaptKirby> you do realizing sucking ass is just as fun as sucking anywhere else on the body..?

 

[Layell]

[01:40:38] <cookie> fearow/hypno/missy/golem/meganium/golduck
[01:40:42] <cookie> yeah i 6-0'd ck's team
[01:40:47] <m0nkfish> haha nice
[01:40:54] <CaptKirby> you only 6-0ed me with all your shit at like 20%
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> stop pretending you asshole
[01:40:58] <CaptKirby> >:(
[01:41:03] <m0nkfish> thats still a 6-0!
[01:41:04] <cookie> yeah it was still a 6-0
[01:41:09] <CaptKirby> yeah but come on
[01:41:10] <ghost> 6-0 is 6-0
[01:41:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 where you have one pokemon at like 20% is one thing
[01:41:20] <CaptKirby> but I damaged EVERY single thing on your team substantially
[01:41:22] <cookie> so
[01:41:31] <CaptKirby> I just lost out to your switching and the like trying to set up my sweepers
[01:41:31] <cookie> did you get to 100% with any of them?
[01:41:36] <CaptKirby> lol
[01:41:41] <CaptKirby> you are acting like the 6-0 is impressive
[01:41:45] <CaptKirby> your 6-0 over me was basically a 2-0 at best
[01:41:46] <CaptKirby> is my point
[01:41:48] <cookie> rofl
[01:41:57] <m0nkfish> hahaha ck how can you deny that a 6-0 is a 6-0
[01:41:58] <CaptKirby> all that matters is who won and lost
[01:41:58] <m0nkfish> i dont get it
[01:42:00] <ghost> except it was 6
[01:42:03] <CaptKirby> how do you not get it
[01:42:12] <ghost> you didn't kill anything
[01:42:14] <ghost> regardless
[01:42:14] <CaptKirby> a 6-0 matters when you like destroyed a team with a Dragon Dance Gyarados and it was embarrassing
[01:42:15] <m0nkfish> because youre ignoring the basic facts that he had 6 surviving pokemon and you had none
[01:42:19] <CaptKirby> not when everything was damaged like fuck anyway
[01:42:29] <cookie> stop trying to create an 'equivalent' score for my win margin
[01:42:33] <ghost> lol
[01:42:36] <m0nkfish> thats even worse because you managed to not KO a single thing even though you had no massive weakness
[01:42:41] <ghost> haha



[01:43:36] <CaptKirby> anyway cookie obviously you well outplayed me
[01:43:45] <CaptKirby> but your bragging about 6-0 makes it sound like you DESTROYED me
[01:43:46] <CaptKirby> which is not what happened
[01:43:55] <cookie> i DID destroy you
[01:44:02] <CaptKirby> not even close
[01:44:03] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:04] <m0nkfish> 6-0
[01:44:05] <m0nkfish> destroyed
[01:44:09] <CaptKirby> the only person who has destroyed me at uu is husk
[01:44:15] <ghost> 6-0 is destroyed alwats
[01:44:18] <ghost> oooh
[01:44:27] <CaptKirby> it is not you fuckass
[01:44:32] <ghost> yes it
[01:44:33] <ghost> is
[01:44:43] <ghost> 6-0 means you didn't even get close to beating him
[01:44:50] <ghost> you couldn't take out even 1 pokemon
[01:44:52] <CaptKirby> when they are all stuck down around 20% range then yes
[01:44:54] <CaptKirby> it means I did get close
[01:45:00] <cookie> close is nothing
[01:45:02] <ghost> you got close to killing 1
[01:45:04] <ghost> 6 times
[01:45:10] <ghost> good job
[01:46:22] <CaptKirby> anyway I am not embarrassed about losing with my underused team at all
[01:46:28] <CaptKirby> it is all rby and all physical and mostly sweepers


[01:52:20] <m0nkfish> so ck yes or no: did cookie 6-0 you
[01:52:24] <m0nkfish> simple one word answer
[01:52:25] <m0nkfish> yes or no
[01:52:31] <CaptKirby> yes, he 6-0ed me, and it was as meanginful as a typical 2-0

It's really telling I thought "That 6-0 chat log better be in here, or I'll have to find it".

 

[cookie]

<+CaptKirby> literally the most fun thing to do is handjobs both ways when driving
<+CaptKirby> I just think it is fun to have brusque dickery back and forth

[18:57:58] <Jth> how'd you manage to gain 20+ pounds
[18:58:03] <CaptKirby> Jth, my grandfather died
[18:58:11] <CaptKirby> and I binged a lot
[18:58:12] <Jth> did you eat him or something

[20:11:12] <@CaptKirby> also cease calling me a cur
[20:11:15] * CaptKirby sets mode: +b dak!*@*
[20:11:18] * dak was kicked by CaptKirby (CaptKirby)
[20:11:22] <@Toothache> CaptCurbee
[20:11:31] <@Toothache> this is a good pun
[20:11:32] <@Mekkah> i concur
[20:11:38] <@CaptKirby> I need an auto kick script for each time dak calls me a cur
[20:12:41] <@Mekkah> on *:text:*:#fluodome: { var %knick $me | if ( dak isin $nick ) && ( cur isin $1- ) { kick #fluodome %knick } }
[20:12:42] <@Mekkah> use this ck

(...)

[20:14:45] <+dak> cur
[20:14:45] * CaptKirby was kicked by CaptKirby (CaptKirby)
[20:14:48] <+dak> ahaha
[20:14:49] <@Mekkah> hahaha
[20:14:53] <+dak> this is a good script
[20:14:54] <@Toothache> it works
[20:14:54] <@Mekkah> haahahahaha
[20:14:57] <@Toothache> genius
[20:14:59] * CaptKirby has joined #fluodome
[20:14:59] * ChanServ sets mode: +o CaptKirby
[20:14:59] <+dak> i didnt read trhe script
[20:15:00] <+dak> until now
[20:15:01] <+dak> cur
[20:15:01] * CaptKirby was kicked by CaptKirby (CaptKirby)

[18:48:54] <@CaptKirby> GOD
[18:48:55] <@CaptKirby> FUCKING
[18:48:55] <@CaptKirby> MOTHER
[18:48:56] <@CaptKirby> FUCKING
[18:48:56] <@CaptKirby> DAMN IT
[18:48:59] <@CaptKirby> I WAS BIDDING ON AN AMAZING EBAY LOT
[18:49:02] <@CaptKirby> AND MY FUCKING BROWSER FROZE
[18:49:09] <@CaptKirby> I JUST PUNCHED A FUCKING WALL SO HARD I FUCKING BURST MY FUCKING KNUCKLES


[18:52:03] <@CaptKirby> this is about the third angriest I have been in my entire life

[00:34:43] <+CaptKirby> I have abnormally large nipples for a guy
[00:34:49] <+CaptKirby> which I should not have pointed out

[16:07]<@CaptKirby> god you know Kristina right
[16:07] <@CaptKirby> she is the only girl whose feet I tried licking to get her excited
[16:07] <@CaptKirby> and she freaked out

<@CaptKirby> foot licking is totally normal
<@Mountain_Dewgong> no it's not
<@Mountain_Dewgong> otherwise it wouldn't be classed as a fetish..
<@CaptKirby> it is a fact that licking pretty much any person pretty much anywhere on the body is going to feel good for them
<@CaptKirby> I draw the line personally at licking armpits
<@CaptKirby> and I have seen people do that too

<CaptKirby> I licked a girl's feet because she wanted to see if it would be hot
<CaptKirby> neither of us liked it at all
<CaptKirby> well it could have been worse
<CaptKirby> I could have tried to make her lick mine

<+CaptKirby> cookie, I have had plenty of girls hugging my dick

<CaptKirby> you know the worst part of school is how much you get boners
<CaptKirby> I had them from like 12-16 uncontrollably
<CaptKirby> about 8 a day

<@CaptKirby> also being afraid to let a woman play with your anus is cowardly

[19:37:58] <CaptKirby> the girl I fucked for 3 months kicked me out of her room
[19:38:05] <CaptKirby> for complaining too much during an anime show

[00:15:34] <%CaptKirby> Fishy's sister has proven that you need standards when asking after sisters
[00:15:38] <%CaptKirby> you instead need to ask:
[00:15:39] <%CaptKirby> aslm
[00:15:41] <%CaptKirby> m for mass

<Earthworm> CaptKirby what would your response be if someone accused you of being a pervert
<CaptKirby> my response is that my enjoyment of sex is enjoyable
<CaptKirby> and that I do not run around naked or slap asses
<CaptKirby> and never have

<&zorbees> you can't be objective on a subjective issue
<@CaptKirby> music is not a subjective issue so that works out great

<@kakky> I'm sure your ass is loose enough
<@CaptKirby> nope, my ass is tight I am sure
<@CaptKirby> one girl tried to finger it and just scratched around a lot

[21:14:54] <CaptKirby> it is fine if you do not understand me, but I am the least dramatic person ever lol
[21:15:00] <CaptKirby> do not confuse vehemence with drama, that is ridiculous
[21:15:04] * CaptKirby (~Harlequin@cpe-72-179-42-159.austin.res.rr.com) Quit

[07:50:21] <@CaptKirby> I walk into glass doors sometimes

 

[Fishy]

GOD i love captkirby

 

[Brambane]

this thread unlocked a core memory

i kind of want to lock it again