Socializing with people can be absolutely exhausting at times and I’m not sure how people manage to not be exhausted
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Social Neurodiversity
- Thread starter p0ip0le
- Start date
Lots of alone time for recovery. Although my fiancée and I are very comfortable to be silent in each others' space, we often just do our own things in separate rooms; we call it "cabbaging". I'm cabbaging right now in fact
Totally agree with the “take time for recovery” aspect… I always set up times of the day right after something that might be overstimulating to me, like socialising with a group of people or having to go to some place that’s really loud, to just come back to my room and do something! My three most common stims are clicking a specific pen I always carry around, trying to curl my hair around with my index finger, and stroking this stuffed animal I have in my room… so just taking time to do that helped so much!!
Lots of alone time for recovery. Although my fiancée and I are very comfortable to be silent in each others' space, we often just do our own things in separate rooms; we call it "cabbaging". I'm cabbaging right now in fact
my partner has no problem putting on headphones if i'm watching something he finds annoying to overhear, teehee
balance is key, like with most things! there ARE people who are extroverted and actually get energy out of lots of stimulation, but most people are a mixture of intro/extro and will eventually hit a limit of socializing/stimulation wherein they need to rest
one of my favorite things to do after a night out during the weekend w/ lots of people, for example, is to do absolutely NOTHING the next day & talk to hardly no one if i can get away with it. i think it's fun to see how deep into solitude you can get when it's a pleasurable choice of relief vs a depressive escape from reality. putting yourself into blanket cocoons with a warm drink and binging anime is always a good, comfy time in my book!!
hi, fellow autistic person here
i know it's not common knowledge, so i don't blame any of you people for still using it, but i would advise against saying that you have "asperger's"
hans asperger, which is what it's named after, was discovered to have had a prominent role in the nazi's eugenics campaign, leading to the direct killing of at least 800 children.
while i understand that people probably have some attachment to that term, i would recommend instead saying that one is autistic (or "has autism" if you really want to).
edit: here is an article by the guardian and one by nature that also covers the research done by edith sheffer and simon baron-cohen
i know it's not common knowledge, so i don't blame any of you people for still using it, but i would advise against saying that you have "asperger's"
hans asperger, which is what it's named after, was discovered to have had a prominent role in the nazi's eugenics campaign, leading to the direct killing of at least 800 children.
while i understand that people probably have some attachment to that term, i would recommend instead saying that one is autistic (or "has autism" if you really want to).
edit: here is an article by the guardian and one by nature that also covers the research done by edith sheffer and simon baron-cohen
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ADHD, OCD, General Anxiety, willing to make any friends i can get!
Having neurodiverse traits can make it hard to feel welcome into certain groups at times, especially as one gets older. When i grow up, I hope to be a shining example of hope for all of us, regardless of any disability labels we might carry around with us. For the time being, I'd be happy to be friends with any of you. I'm not exactly a social media/forum posting freak like my parents are on Facebook sometimes, (you know who you are lol), but the least I can do is open myself up to talking with as many of you as I'm able to. I believe we can all learn from each other, and just as I want to teach others, I can learn from each and every one of you, too. :)
found out from some video yesterday that people on the spectrum tend to interpret sensory perceptions starting from small details and building up to a full picture while most neurotypical people process things starting from big picture and then dive into the details
and like holy shit lol yeah that's totally how i experience things, it's so obvious now that it's been pointed out but i never noticed before / just kind of assumed this was how sight works. and i can see how it stretches out to other senses as well, it's definitely true with sounds too
it explains a lot of things. my taste in art, my taste in music. fun stuff. shame i wasn't told about this earlier
and like holy shit lol yeah that's totally how i experience things, it's so obvious now that it's been pointed out but i never noticed before / just kind of assumed this was how sight works. and i can see how it stretches out to other senses as well, it's definitely true with sounds too
it explains a lot of things. my taste in art, my taste in music. fun stuff. shame i wasn't told about this earlier
I've known of this thread for a while, though i've never actually made an effort to post. Anyway, i'm asperger, basically have known for my entire life. I've never really thought it as big a part of my life as it probably is. Anyway, i've always been a fan of the more intellectual implications of having it, i'm pretty sensitive about it, maybe to a fault. I also come off as weird, and can be somewhat of a dick, so I don't typically hold onto friends for more than maybe a year or two. On the other hand, i've been friends with Maya, Sam, FOMG and Beelz for my entire life (or at least, like, half a decade). I don't know why those ones have stayed, but i'm pretty happy for it.
to end on a more positive note, here's an amazingly adorable drawing by autism sketches about how i, and many other self-advocates, feel.
link to original post
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I haven't noticed this that much for sensory perception, but man have I noticed it for arranging information. I basically can't write an introductory section without already having the entire rest of the document complete, because I just don't think of the big picture immediately. Of course, I usually refer to that style of thought as depth-first (as compared to breadth-first) because that's an existing term that I'm familiar with.
this is a fascinating point of discussion because i think there is merit to wanting to choose either version of how you describe your neurodiversity, although i totally understand the reserve against describing how our brains are from a relative aspect of "normalcy," assuming that normalcy can be clearly defined and then referenced against for comparison's sake to what must then be "not normal" or "atypical"
i think the root of the issue is assigning a value of good to the idea of normalcy, because then, that same value cannot possibly translate to anything atypical or "not normal" as something that is seemingly unlike normal must also be unlike good
this is the power of words and their association, and is a pervasive issue in anyone's attempts at self-expression or self-identification. the reason i vouch for saying something like "i have autism" is because saying "i am autistic" is a statement that can immediately dictate the personality someone might project onto you, given only the statement "i am autistic." (i know no one said or wrote what's in the art who will be in this thread, i'm just responding to that idea directly!) this is a school of thought i was taught at my last job in childcare, where children of "all abilities" were enrolled for like, kind of a special day care that made sure your child didn't die while you were at work and also was cognizant of different things they could do to promote your child's development based on their age and their specific needs. kids were aged 0-5 years.
one of my favorite little boys there was a boy named Ethan who has treacher-collin's syndrome, which actually means that he has a set of disabilities rather than a single one. my work made sure that everyone treated these kids like they were your average little monster growing up (monster is my word lol) and learning about the world, only some had this syndrome, some had that, etc, same way someone has red hair or maybe someone likes pickles too much. i think the idea is that you want to allow people to learn about an individual organically, rather than treat people as already having labels with those labels meaning they would have certain personality traits pre-defined inside them
there is identity in saying that you are this or that, and because this is the neurodiversity thread, it would be conflation to include stuff like physical syndromes or otherwise tangible indications for behavior into the conversation of how we should feel about the ways that our mind functions and fosters personality, as there is so much that happens which we cannot ever conceivably measure (how do you calculate the degree of an emotion?)
SO, all of that to say, i think how people approach their own self-acceptance/identity is, like most things, unique to their personal journey! but it is crucial to remember that society is the most well-meaning hive mind in existence, and even if they have a majority opinion on something, that does not make it correct!!! people ultimately fear what they don't understand, and reject that effort of understanding because they're a) lazy or b) not interested. or, they embrace the understanding and are probably better for it, because they've gained knowledge.
so whether you're autistic or you have autism, the point is that there is SO much more to you than the single slice you can fit into a statement like that, and when you consider the different parts of what make you whole, they are all you in the end, and learning that being you is enough is the most difficult part... but only because it's worth it!
It's still gonna be a few months until I can get a diagnosis for ADD, although at this point I'm relatively certain I may have it, and definitely certain I have OCD
the OCD, at the moment, has a much more negative impact on my life with ADD. ADD is mostly just me being unable to focus on anything unless it really captivates me, which does have an impact on my school performance, but I can manage provided the work is easy enough. OCD meanwhile has a profoundly annoying effect on my mental health, right now especially with my sexuality. I'd rather seek a diagnosis and treatment for that but my mom definitely wouldn't let me, especially if I told her I was considering the idea of being anything but straight, so I have to wait until I can go off to college in a few months
the OCD, at the moment, has a much more negative impact on my life with ADD. ADD is mostly just me being unable to focus on anything unless it really captivates me, which does have an impact on my school performance, but I can manage provided the work is easy enough. OCD meanwhile has a profoundly annoying effect on my mental health, right now especially with my sexuality. I'd rather seek a diagnosis and treatment for that but my mom definitely wouldn't let me, especially if I told her I was considering the idea of being anything but straight, so I have to wait until I can go off to college in a few months
Okay, so here's the thing, everyone. As some of you may know, April 2nd is supposedly meant to represent "World Autism Awareness Day" or something like that. In honor of this, I wanted to create something, whether it be a new post or a whole forum, to celebrate the occasion. However, I eventually decided against this, due to an issue that I'd like to bring up. In hindsight, I feel like this issue's always existed, but there's a good chance it hasn't meant much until now.
You see, on one hand, we've got this neurodiversity thread as a part of a forum that doesn't (at least traditionally) post about Pokémon, which does make sense. On the other hand, there's no kinds of forum out there that does talk about Pokémon that I could post this on, or at least not that I can find on Smogon. So what was it exactly that I wanted to post about? I'll make this quick just because I'm disappointed in myself for whatever reason, but basically I feel like I would enjoy some of the things I grew up with a lot more now as a young adult if I was able to look back on them and recognize some of the ways these things can either help cope with or help me learn more about some of my "autistic" behavior traits.
Now, look. I get it. Most "kids games" or whatever aren't going to address topics like this. But it certainly helps to feel like we're actually being acknowledged for once. The thing is, how is a person like myself supposed to know if in-material representation or advoacy is even that in the first place. Better yet, does this even matter at all? I'll let you guys decide on your own opinions. For now, I'd like to take the moment to respond to some of us about your own posts.
You see, on one hand, we've got this neurodiversity thread as a part of a forum that doesn't (at least traditionally) post about Pokémon, which does make sense. On the other hand, there's no kinds of forum out there that does talk about Pokémon that I could post this on, or at least not that I can find on Smogon. So what was it exactly that I wanted to post about? I'll make this quick just because I'm disappointed in myself for whatever reason, but basically I feel like I would enjoy some of the things I grew up with a lot more now as a young adult if I was able to look back on them and recognize some of the ways these things can either help cope with or help me learn more about some of my "autistic" behavior traits.
Now, look. I get it. Most "kids games" or whatever aren't going to address topics like this. But it certainly helps to feel like we're actually being acknowledged for once. The thing is, how is a person like myself supposed to know if in-material representation or advoacy is even that in the first place. Better yet, does this even matter at all? I'll let you guys decide on your own opinions. For now, I'd like to take the moment to respond to some of us about your own posts.
Yes, absolutely. This isn't something we have. It is something we are, no different from how a person might be any other demographic factor. The secret to our success is that we shouldn't let that demographic leave us in uncertainty. In more severe cases, this behavior often can't be helped- but that's what we have each other for: to help those just like us feel comfort and happiness.
There's only so much I can say here since I'd rather not ask about another user's personal life, but what I can say is that one of the things I want to work on the most as a (hopefully, still working on the education for it) neurodiversity advocate is to help families- more specifically parents of the ones diagnosed- understand the rewards and consequences of their behavior. Raising a neurodiverse child might be very different from raising a "typical" child, but that's okay. Again, there's only so much I can assume about your situation, but in my honest opinion, the labels we're given even by our loved ones should never determine what we're able to do with a different skillset.
Remember that part I just said about not wanting to ask about other people's personal lives? Yeah, well, in this case, I'd like to say a little something in your defense. I've chatted with you before on various other threads, and you seem like a perfectly good person to me. Does it really matter what your sexual identity is when it comes to neurodiversity, though? From what I can gather, your mother (unless she's one of those over-conservatives, that explains everything) doesn't seem to understand that the two concepts are not tied to one another in any way. With things like autism spectrum disorder appearing so much more frequently in males, I can understand how sexual orientation could have something to do with it... listen. Maybe this is helping, maybe it isn't. I don't want to call myself an excellent motivational speaker by any means. But if an indoctrinated fear of your parent(s)' beliefs are holding you back from discovering your true self even further, that's a situation that only you, your parent(s), and maybe a professional counselor can talk about and resolve. And it starts by working together.
Other things I forgot to mention. I have very mild General Anxiety (Fluoxitine does wonders for that) and am probably hyperlexic (if that’s what teaching yourself to read at age two is called).
sexuality of course isn't always decided by neurodiversity if that's what you mean but the OCD is the reason why figuring it out is so difficult
Mom wouldn't believe I had OCD even if it had nothing to do with sexuality, the fact it's tied to it makes it even less likely she'll let me see a therapist
What we’re the words I used in my initial post? “Appearing much more frequently” or something like that? I am aware of this, and I do apologize for the seeming lack of awareness towards the fact. “Autistic behavior traits”, so to speak, can easily be observed and recognized on both sides.
obligatory disclaimer that i'm not a trained professional / no ocd treatment is one-size-fits-all etc, but these articles have been super helpful to me to reframe my approach towards dealing with OCD etc. https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/
they're all worth reading and may or may not apply, but the framework of understanding rumination as a compulsion and the desire to "figure out" or "solve" your obsessions as a question that doesn't NEED to be answered was super helpful. hope this helps!
Going to link you to this post I made. Has tons of resources for dealing with OCD. You can feel free to message me about it as well if you like (this is now my 4th year of knowing I have OCD, so I've learned how to deal with it pretty well myself). Best wishes for a peaceful mind either way :)
lately i've been a little anxious as i consider more and more how every goddamn ADHD meme or anecdote or serious resource relates to how i feel on a daily basis. part of it irks me because i wonder if my brain can be "better" but i choose to view my innate difficulty with focusing as a skill i need to improve, rather than a burden or "illness" that i need to fix.
in the past i realized that ADHD is likely what drove me through school, helped me excel in sports (losing focus for a moment means everything collapses, so sports are an incredible way to fend off attention deviations) but in my adulthood i've suffered more trauma and hardships that my ADHD has shifted into the form that means my short term memory is absolute garbage (like, not an innate skill whatsoever anymore) and that i find myself feeling glum easier than normal if i can't find something to satisfy my attention needs
returning to the gym has done wonders, weirdly enough i find that i am one of those people who prefers to workout without headphones as i find the music itself too distracting to allow focusing on my muscle movements during each exercise. gyms are blasting their own tunes anyway so trying to tune out the TUNES for my own tunes all while focusing on my body is not a good time. i've accepted this once again after attempting to pop in my headphones and be on my way. i'm much more interested in checking in on my environment in the gym rather than tuning it out... but i digress (which i can do like a fucking pro)
anyway, i watched the new tony hawk documentary tonight and a lot of it resonated with me in the sense that i related to tony's character a lot in some ways. they described him as being mega determined to accomplish a goal once he had put his mind to it, and how easily he would become frustrated within that struggle, yet never abandoning the toil until he had met his goal. often time i feel myself avoiding ever turning my mind to focus on a goal for the very reason that i would fall into it completely, be consumed by it, stop at nothing and do nothing else until it was completed. this is probably admirable if you can select a goal, but if i have such potential, how can i choose? what should i do first?
this year has been the first year in a long time where i've felt the most in control of every aspect of my life. my safety is assured, my health is steady, my needs are met, and i have tons of leisure time. i'm going to graduate with a second degree this september and then i'm kind of worried about what i'll do next: what should i do? what standards do i want to meet, and what standards do i currently maintain? are they good enough?
i think there are some things i can improve about my daily routine, even some things i can really indulge in to both my satisfaction and my benefit, so i think i'll start there. in those times where i consider if my brain is the best brain it can be, i remember that accepting and allowing myself to be as i am in this moment and the next is paramount to my happiness.
for me it's not really about "finding" my happiness in life, as i think we can choose to do that every day if we truly wish, like finding reasons for gratitude and translating those to being happy. but i am trying to find more ways to be both happy and fulfilled, happy and not still left wanting for something
and yet i think the day i stop wanting more from the world is the day i die, or the day the world dies, whichever comes first
in the past i realized that ADHD is likely what drove me through school, helped me excel in sports (losing focus for a moment means everything collapses, so sports are an incredible way to fend off attention deviations) but in my adulthood i've suffered more trauma and hardships that my ADHD has shifted into the form that means my short term memory is absolute garbage (like, not an innate skill whatsoever anymore) and that i find myself feeling glum easier than normal if i can't find something to satisfy my attention needs
returning to the gym has done wonders, weirdly enough i find that i am one of those people who prefers to workout without headphones as i find the music itself too distracting to allow focusing on my muscle movements during each exercise. gyms are blasting their own tunes anyway so trying to tune out the TUNES for my own tunes all while focusing on my body is not a good time. i've accepted this once again after attempting to pop in my headphones and be on my way. i'm much more interested in checking in on my environment in the gym rather than tuning it out... but i digress (which i can do like a fucking pro)
anyway, i watched the new tony hawk documentary tonight and a lot of it resonated with me in the sense that i related to tony's character a lot in some ways. they described him as being mega determined to accomplish a goal once he had put his mind to it, and how easily he would become frustrated within that struggle, yet never abandoning the toil until he had met his goal. often time i feel myself avoiding ever turning my mind to focus on a goal for the very reason that i would fall into it completely, be consumed by it, stop at nothing and do nothing else until it was completed. this is probably admirable if you can select a goal, but if i have such potential, how can i choose? what should i do first?
this year has been the first year in a long time where i've felt the most in control of every aspect of my life. my safety is assured, my health is steady, my needs are met, and i have tons of leisure time. i'm going to graduate with a second degree this september and then i'm kind of worried about what i'll do next: what should i do? what standards do i want to meet, and what standards do i currently maintain? are they good enough?
i think there are some things i can improve about my daily routine, even some things i can really indulge in to both my satisfaction and my benefit, so i think i'll start there. in those times where i consider if my brain is the best brain it can be, i remember that accepting and allowing myself to be as i am in this moment and the next is paramount to my happiness.
for me it's not really about "finding" my happiness in life, as i think we can choose to do that every day if we truly wish, like finding reasons for gratitude and translating those to being happy. but i am trying to find more ways to be both happy and fulfilled, happy and not still left wanting for something
and yet i think the day i stop wanting more from the world is the day i die, or the day the world dies, whichever comes first
helllo i hope you fell better soon thankyou for share
I'm sure you and every other OCD addled brain-haver has heard it all before, but for me the key is to not even entertain the thoughts. If my brain wants to think about doing stupid shit it can do so all it wants, but I won't take it seriously.
Learning to not take your own harmful and intrusive thoughts seriously and to not act on your obsessions is a skill you can develop. It takes time, effort and patience, but I promise that you will get there eventually.
Any attempt at seeking relief by engaging in your obsessions will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Insert obvious 'not a therapist' disclaimer here
I got diagnosed with ADHD around two years ago and I’m still trying to treat my symptoms better to this day. I’m a really impulsive person, my mood can change really quickly and my energy levels are usually really high when I’m passionate about something and I can’t really focus. I snap easily when I’m frustrated, say things i sometimes didn’t mean to and I get emotionally overwhelmed easily. The impulsiveness in general is something I wish I didn’t have since it has messed up some of the relationships I’ve cherished in the past but it is what it is and I’ll improve on that aspect eventually.
I can’t really say I wish I didn’t have ADHD even though it’s caused me a lot of pain in the past. I’ve kind of just accepted it as a part of who I am, and it can be good sometimes for when I’m feeling passionate about something and I can get progress done really quickly. Otherwise, it’s just a negative attribute, and that’s okay because everyone has bad parts about them that makes us human. ADHD has caused me to do really poorly in school (I might have to do an extra year of community college), but I’m just going to try pushing forward and try to mature and understand myself more.
Part of why I’m majoring in psychology is because I want to become a therapist for teenagers when I grow up. I want to help people with ADHD and other neurodivergent people because I know how much it hurts to feel like you aren’t being understood a lot of the time and feel like you are falling behind just because of how your brain works. I think the study of how the brain works as well as what causes neurodiversity and what it causes is really fascinating.
I can’t really say I wish I didn’t have ADHD even though it’s caused me a lot of pain in the past. I’ve kind of just accepted it as a part of who I am, and it can be good sometimes for when I’m feeling passionate about something and I can get progress done really quickly. Otherwise, it’s just a negative attribute, and that’s okay because everyone has bad parts about them that makes us human. ADHD has caused me to do really poorly in school (I might have to do an extra year of community college), but I’m just going to try pushing forward and try to mature and understand myself more.
Part of why I’m majoring in psychology is because I want to become a therapist for teenagers when I grow up. I want to help people with ADHD and other neurodivergent people because I know how much it hurts to feel like you aren’t being understood a lot of the time and feel like you are falling behind just because of how your brain works. I think the study of how the brain works as well as what causes neurodiversity and what it causes is really fascinating.