we’re looking for investors for an immediate handshake agreement. please inquire within.
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Smogoff is for sale
- Thread starter antemortem
- Start date
The SMP 500 (Smogoff Mod Portfolio 500) currently consists of:
Subprime mortgages
Terraluna cryptocurrency
beanie babies
Rental properties in London
beanie babies (additional)
Short positions on US Treasury Bonds
24 karat gold we got from a guy at a flea market. he assured us it was real
Bullish positions on medtech stocks in FDA phase 1
blockbuster stock. for some reason we weren't allowed to buy it directly so we got old membership cards instead
beanie babies (further)
Holdings in Japanese Yen
an algorithmic trading program that picks stocks based on the movement of the gen 3 randbats ladder
an insane amount of put options bought on margin. holy shit that's a lot of puts. even more than the beanie babies
and 487 more investments of the same stellar caliber as the ones i just listed
Obviously you want to buy in, but I should let you know that we have two versions of the SMP 500 you can buy into. We did this because War And Buffet... err I mean Warren Buffet... does it with berkshire hathaway and we're as good at finance as him so we can do it with our thing too. Our cheaper option is SMP 500 A (A is short for absence of money). The option where we won't throw mud at you and make you sit in high chairs during investor meetings is SMP 500 B (B is short for bitcoin millionaire, which you have to be to buy it).
We've managed to outperform the whole stock market with our mutual fund. Now if only we could outperform that blindfolded monkey that Burton Malkiel keeps talking about.
Subprime mortgages
Terraluna cryptocurrency
beanie babies
Rental properties in London
beanie babies (additional)
Short positions on US Treasury Bonds
24 karat gold we got from a guy at a flea market. he assured us it was real
Bullish positions on medtech stocks in FDA phase 1
blockbuster stock. for some reason we weren't allowed to buy it directly so we got old membership cards instead
beanie babies (further)
Holdings in Japanese Yen
an algorithmic trading program that picks stocks based on the movement of the gen 3 randbats ladder
an insane amount of put options bought on margin. holy shit that's a lot of puts. even more than the beanie babies
and 487 more investments of the same stellar caliber as the ones i just listed
Obviously you want to buy in, but I should let you know that we have two versions of the SMP 500 you can buy into. We did this because War And Buffet... err I mean Warren Buffet... does it with berkshire hathaway and we're as good at finance as him so we can do it with our thing too. Our cheaper option is SMP 500 A (A is short for absence of money). The option where we won't throw mud at you and make you sit in high chairs during investor meetings is SMP 500 B (B is short for bitcoin millionaire, which you have to be to buy it).
We've managed to outperform the whole stock market with our mutual fund. Now if only we could outperform that blindfolded monkey that Burton Malkiel keeps talking about.
You aren't touching my hands for free pal.
caption: me, absolutely blootered on hogmanay, trying not to chun during auld lang syne
BREAKING: The value of the posting point has dropped bellow the dollar for the first time.
this is all the fault of kwasi kwarhops and liz 'tross
You have been awarded 3 posting points, which has a current value of 0.8 posting points in 2021.
I’ll take it for $300, provided an insurance guarantee.
Can I buy it as a gift?
Depends, how much stock you wanna buy?
Also, does it give you tax credit?
it actually comes with one free audit by the IRS
I'll pay you, hmm...1,500 reaction points, 1,200 of those financed at 2% if you'll throw in a custom title. That audit is enticing.
Also, it depends on where you are. If in the UK, I'll offer up only 1,000 due to Liz Eelektross.
closing price is expected to exceed 100% the equivalent cost of the “redesign” these fake ass landowners have been pedaling since 2007
Just put it on the super wheel and foist it on to some unfortunate sod
oh nice where were you? did you have fun?
