I just wanted to somewhat self-reflect after I spoke to my younger relative about what I have going on with one of my career choices and my area's incompetence to even help with what I am going for. In my life and everything so far, I know my friends, family, co-workers, and many more have supported me on my multiple paths in my career.... and I have 3 to go off from, these are some of the hardest decisions I will have to make, but I have pick one of two big plans of what I am doing now before I am going before I might have to forcibly stomach the third plan if it becomes too late....
Plan A: The Most Destined and Wanted Plan
This career path is the thing that I wanted to do the most, start my channel and make my Pokémon career start jumping off the roof with wins, friends, and money if possible. The issue is that I am living with my parents that are not going for the best internet connection at all, all I have is an unreliable mobile box that somewhat connects to a quarter or less than a normal internet router with Lan wires and crap... this career needs me to be studious, hard-working, and use the best amount of time I can use. One of the big reasons why I couldn't start is my issues with OBS, the internet box that half-ass works, a "microphone" that can be devolved into just some Skullcandy Earbuds, and the lack of a room that isn't quiet for 1 second unless once in a blue moon when my mother is gone to meet my dad when he is up north working. The cons are just really there due to my living situation, but the benefits and shit can be great and pay off when I can get the right stipulations to having that 1 room that isn't just loud chaos.
Plan B: The Original Plan
This plan has been there since I was a wee child, long before I knew of the school system that was destined to stay afloat and be some hierarchy while the children at the lowest chain are suffering. I want to be a teacher, from the inspiration from my grandmother (from the last post about them) worked and became a teacher and had all these fun stories about it too. The problem is that my school system is a joke, and my state's education is a joke...yes I do live in America, but besides the matter of it, from where I am at right now, I don't want to be another "home-grown teacher" suffering to teach unruly high schoolers due to the parish's (county to be technical) lack of true words: incompetent... they brood over their high grades with a badge of honor due to test scores and only that when the schools are falling apart and some of them have broken water pipes and stuff breaking beyond belief. Like how can a 5th grader kick a urinal pipe out of anger and the pipe breaks apart with not much effort? I just feel that their "B" is just a small population of kids compared to the way larger cities and parishes (counties) laugh at the fact that we are praising our "B" like we won a game of Mario Party or won a Smogtour when there are far larger places with schools that have over 1000 children when we have schools that are combined fit an entire "larger populated" system with all K-12 schools to how laughable to it is. The worst part is their Special Needs programs, I am not to say that the kids that are not cognitively functioning do need to somewhat go to different classes can go to specialized classes as they do need it. Children with potential like myself who can be as smart, not as smart, or even smarter than me suffer to the two choices which does become one due to my system's justification of functioning children with disabilities can do one of their programs which the ones that want to go to Oil, the ones that want Agriculture can do that. What they have for us kids that want to go to college and stuff forcing us to a program that is not suitable for us "college bound" kids, and not only wastes our time and then after graduation, money. These children like me had to fight tooth and nail to get where we are, and the only reason I am here where I am is because of my parents especially my father in much of the financial stuff and he did me stuff that kids like me would never do, and most of all gave me a chance in our state's TOPs program instead of its Jumpstart program. The only positive is that of this, I don't even have to be this "home-grown" teacher and I can go to other states, their schools, and not even worry about my parish at all. My thing is that I want to help children that are suffering where I was and try to help them. The thing is that I have so many places to go, but not the guts to which location I want to go.
Plan C: The Retail Burden
I am currently working in a Walmart as of right now along with aspirations for both Plans A and B as we speak in a part-time gig... the problem with this "part-time gig" is that this was the same job that my dad suffered with when I was a kid, missing birthdays, holidays, and more that came. I don't have the same job as he did when he started out... he worked in Electronics when I was a baby and rose up to what you see as today's version of Walmart's "Coach" position when I was a kid while I work in that same Walmart's Online Grocery Pickup (OGP as they refer) almost 20 years later. I have that same potential as my dad, I do have the right ways through customers and I try to do what I need to work done to get my supervisors (Team Leads and Assistant Manager in Walmart's case) impressed and commemorate my hard work... the problem is that what I do is very easy contextually, but into what it has in the extra details and stuff, it is one of the most stressful positions as an associate and we are lucky that we don't have delivery unlike other stores since our geographic/demographic isn't suitable to delivery. The stress of relying on your teammates that get the groceries for the customers and when the customer or myself gets concerned about milk, smushed breador expired bread for some ungodly reason, or whatever the hell the enraged customer lashes out on me or any of my coworkers over some stuff when they should know from their app like they were out of stock of hamburger buns or putting the milk in the backseat and them not seeing it. The customer I understand mostly sure, we got the order wrong, and I get their frustrations, but sometimes when I or the other customers start cussing at me, my coworkers or my managers get to a point is not how you can get the situation better. The worst ones at the point I see are around the months of September (the start of the American Football season) until the end of January (the returns/Christmas presents with gift card purchases) where some people with a lack of not seeing the 13-25 other vehicles in the parking spots we have, get angry at us because we didn't have to their order yet or that they've been waiting for 30 minutes and fuss about it when we are drowning in orders already, stressed, and tired. It is tiring to do this job even if I love some of my coworkers, but the lack of reasonable customers at times does really get to my soul as to why we are suffering as a place in a pretty grim future and the managers sometimes have to focus on the numbers (likewise to my test scores issue with my school system problems) and we are number 1 in the market, sure we did it, but at what cost... some of my coworkers either get drunk off their ass, some more complain at work about it being hell, and more the while I try to pull a few strings by playing the "class-clown" while being one of the best in their dispensing parts of OGP to make the job more bearable.
I wish that my negative views on my other two potential jobs weren't as negative as they seem, but its a sad reality that I see in this place. The only positivity is either not permanently working in Plan C, moving away from either some or all of my loving family and friends with Plan B, or finding a far better internet and equipment source and moving away hopefully with my parents with Plan A once I finish college and have that to harvest my fruits with it starting soon during college.
I apologize if this rant kinda brings down some form of it all, but I did want to speak my mind out to random strangers that I try to build a relationship with a "content creator" and their "subscribers" or some form of chucklenuts tomfoolery if I somehow randomly become your teacher in a high school that you and I may not expect. Besides that, I hope y'all have a nice night and stay safe from the cruel things in the world y'all.
Plan A: The Most Destined and Wanted Plan
This career path is the thing that I wanted to do the most, start my channel and make my Pokémon career start jumping off the roof with wins, friends, and money if possible. The issue is that I am living with my parents that are not going for the best internet connection at all, all I have is an unreliable mobile box that somewhat connects to a quarter or less than a normal internet router with Lan wires and crap... this career needs me to be studious, hard-working, and use the best amount of time I can use. One of the big reasons why I couldn't start is my issues with OBS, the internet box that half-ass works, a "microphone" that can be devolved into just some Skullcandy Earbuds, and the lack of a room that isn't quiet for 1 second unless once in a blue moon when my mother is gone to meet my dad when he is up north working. The cons are just really there due to my living situation, but the benefits and shit can be great and pay off when I can get the right stipulations to having that 1 room that isn't just loud chaos.
Plan B: The Original Plan
This plan has been there since I was a wee child, long before I knew of the school system that was destined to stay afloat and be some hierarchy while the children at the lowest chain are suffering. I want to be a teacher, from the inspiration from my grandmother (from the last post about them) worked and became a teacher and had all these fun stories about it too. The problem is that my school system is a joke, and my state's education is a joke...
Plan C: The Retail Burden
I am currently working in a Walmart as of right now along with aspirations for both Plans A and B as we speak in a part-time gig... the problem with this "part-time gig" is that this was the same job that my dad suffered with when I was a kid, missing birthdays, holidays, and more that came. I don't have the same job as he did when he started out... he worked in Electronics when I was a baby and rose up to what you see as today's version of Walmart's "Coach" position when I was a kid while I work in that same Walmart's Online Grocery Pickup (OGP as they refer) almost 20 years later. I have that same potential as my dad, I do have the right ways through customers and I try to do what I need to work done to get my supervisors (Team Leads and Assistant Manager in Walmart's case) impressed and commemorate my hard work... the problem is that what I do is very easy contextually, but into what it has in the extra details and stuff, it is one of the most stressful positions as an associate and we are lucky that we don't have delivery unlike other stores since our geographic/demographic isn't suitable to delivery. The stress of relying on your teammates that get the groceries for the customers and when the customer or myself gets concerned about milk, smushed bread
I wish that my negative views on my other two potential jobs weren't as negative as they seem, but its a sad reality that I see in this place. The only positivity is either not permanently working in Plan C, moving away from either some or all of my loving family and friends with Plan B, or finding a far better internet and equipment source and moving away hopefully with my parents with Plan A once I finish college and have that to harvest my fruits with it starting soon during college.
I apologize if this rant kinda brings down some form of it all, but I did want to speak my mind out to random strangers that I try to build a relationship with a "content creator" and their "subscribers" or some form of chucklenuts tomfoolery if I somehow randomly become your teacher in a high school that you and I may not expect. Besides that, I hope y'all have a nice night and stay safe from the cruel things in the world y'all.
