I need Smogon's help to beat a local 9 year old

[Rugi]

I haven't played Pokemon competitively for 7 years.
However recently I've began tutoring a man in the neighbourhood and his son plays Pokemon. Everytime I go over to teach the son challenges me to a Pokemon battle afterwards and I always lose. The only rules he has is 'no legendaries' and as a responsible adult I feel like I need to crush his dreams.

Please build me an SV team with no legendaries that will kick his little smarmy ass. This is very important and I am a responsible adult thanks for asking.

 

[Kalalokki]

6 Funbros, it's better to make him despise the game instead.

 

[Rugi]

6 Funbros, it's better to make him despise the game instead.

He's a little kid on holidays he has infinite time I need an offensive team

 

[Turtlek]

Use sticky web+Annihilape

 

[Kalalokki]

https://pokepast.es/c2261769997cd3d7

 

[az]

try quick attack. its VERY fast

 

[Let's go shuckles]

Just go into the OU room on showdown and steal their sample teams like a normal person.

 

[KaenSoul]

Use iron bundle, name it "Santa isnt real".

 

[Dorron]

https://pokepast.es/c2261769997cd3d7

Random Battles auth find this absolutely balanced and needs no changes

 

[Mechalico]

https://pokepast.es/61992e5a02e5affe

Assist prankster liepard can revive fainted teammates with priority 64 times as the only move that can be called is revival blessing, indeede is to stop faster priority like dragonites extreme speed by setting up psychic terrain, ditto forces progress with imposter and shedinja can wall other priority pokemon if you cant revive lele.

Make him suffer

what a good, usable, and obtainable team for pokemon scarlet violet

 

[Weirdhamster]

what a good, usable, and obtainable team for pokemon scarlet violet

Missed the last line saying it was SV, thought it was natdag as the kid mentioned "No legendaries", mb

 

[Cratersmash]

Just use screens+Annihilape+Espathra+Dragonite

 

[Rugi]

Update:
I won and moody is now banned in our battles

 

[Dorron]

Could you please now play with Irpachuza, I'm sure he'll understand it too

 

[boo836]

https://pokepast.es/3ef0082f5f78f8e9

and then after that, let's see what the next banlist decision will be.

 

[Oglemi]

try quick attack. its VERY fast

Or ExtremeSpeed, it's when your speed goes to the extreme

 

[Theorymon]

Does he allow paradoxes? Show him how the spirit of Christmas can go wrong with too much capitalism, and use 5 Iron Bundles!

Oh and a Palafin.

 

[Rugi]

I won again lol fucking owned kiddo