FOR THE GUYS todd bonzalez's... smogoff rpg [postgame]

[Blizihguh]

Oh man reading through these is super fun. I loved being on the evil team with earl but as the game progressed I did start to feel like we were missing out on a lot of the social aspects. Other people were clearly doing stuff that we weren't privy to because we were too busy killing them. So it's really cool getting to see other peoples' stories and internal chatter. Eventually I ended up trying to gather some intel only for the game to end literally on the next turn The whole key puzzle seems like something I would have had a lot of fun with, but oh well.

Crazy to think that we could've gotten a second Quote Bubble... though, I'm not sure it would have helped us in the end. I won't spoil how it went down though, it'll be fun to watch I'm sure

Rip Check1Two... to die just two posts before Page 5....

did you kill them Blizihguh

This whole exchange gave me a big old giggle btw. I think I posted something in the group DM mourning Sala after they died too. Those blasted masked figures! >:( In retrospect we had no idea that they had spent the entire game standing around and barely missing people. What a tragic end to an equally tragic tale...

 

[a fairy]

speaking of bits earl fun changeling convo with you

 

[az]

mid game, pt 2 (cycles 18-26)
a reign of terror, the body count rises, new alliances are formed, and a team dispels the fog of mysterie

cycle 18
Troubadour1 makes a rare foray off the centre tiles, kills a Spambot that can't get through their armour, and then continues their D4 advertising campaign:

If you are cool come meet me at D4 ​

Deep Vein Thrombosis are still on Albatross's tail, and run into the Spambot she set behind her at the Filthy Lurker shop at C2. they dispatch it easily; Drifting's Redirect Page combined with Voltage's Doubleposter's Doublet is a very powerful combination for dealing with non-player encounters. Drifting buys a Trojan Egg and a Broken Lock, and then uses two Trojan Eggs to plant Spambots on G1. i think these were planted blind, and just under the same principle as the Spambot planted on A1 to slow looters down, but it's a better target than perhaps they realised. before carrying on their pursuit, they look into their search lens to check H1...

... to find ThatOneSpork, who has finally made it here. ThatOneSpork tries the password prompt they picked up at H1, but no dice. they rest here to make another attempt, still not sure what they're looking for

just below them at H2 a slightly worse for wear Brambane arrives. they'll sit here to rest up for exactly as long as ThatOneSpork is above. i don't think either of them knows it

at G1 grape tylenol is at 9 HP, one rest away from being fully healed. just in time for the company she'll have next cycle

Albatross loots the treasure chest at D2 to claim its Blue Ink, and then checks ahead at E2. it's all clear, so she proceeds

BIG ASHLEY course-corrects, and begins heading up column E to meet her teammates

The Math Professors arrive at F7 to discover the Assassin and chimp's corpse. phoopes tries to talk to the Assassin, but he won't deal with moderator-aligned players:

"... I see. Those badges you wear... I know what they are. What you are.

"Errand boys for that poor fool. No, I'm afraid I haven't any interest in your kind."

with that, phoopes memorialises chimp, and then he and Mathy rest

Chimpin' ain't easy​

cycle 19
grape tylenol has guests—the Spambots Drifting planted are here. she'll flee, but Deep Vein Thrombosis will use their Search Lens to check their handiwork before she does:

lololol ashley in shambles, this means spork is still solving the key shit btw

with this intel, they carry on South East in pursuit of Albatross

goon squad make it to E5, where they encounter CryoGyro, defiant in the face of superior numbers:

[Talk] well well well, if it isn't the Blowjob Brothers

they attack and take a chunk out of him, but are puzzled as their target appears to vanish into thin air before they can finish him off—@CryoGyro activates their Bookmark, returning to E4. it's just one tile away, but it won't incur any attacks on the way out

xzern successfully arrives back at the Editor, and dumps his scavenged into upgrading his Needle & Thread twice, buffing its damage spread from 0-4 to 2-4. personal quest complete!

cycle 20

as with cycle 10, the chests are refilled. players might have a sense, now, that this will happen every 10th cycle

grape tylenol arrives on F1, met by two Scrapers. she's just one tile away from Albatross, now, on F2, with Deep Vein Thrombosis right behind

Deep Vein Thrombosis search H1 to confirm the key and ThatOneSpork are still there. they've been talking about cutting ThatOneSpork off when (if) they leave with the key, and now Albatross is corralled up here, too. presumably feeling that isn't about to change any time soon, they resolve to double back for the treasure on their previous tile, D2

Albatross rings her bell and can see she has players in three directions—North West, North East, and South West. that's not as bad as it sounds, though, because she knows one of them is grape tylenol. this time with her Search Lens she scouts for grape tylenol, not for herself, and finds the much more appealing pool on E1:

grape tylenol heads toward it, and Albatross doubles back, too, i think imagining that she will juke Deep Vein Thrombosis in the event they carry on South East to chase her

ThatOneSpork gives up on their key at H1, and carries on crawling the perimeter

xzern picks up the Static status on F3, just South West of Albatross

Troubadour1 is searching farther afield now, stepping onto the Toxic Thread on C3, but they're immune thanks to their armour

The Math Professors step onto F6; while Mathy is thawed out from Frozen, phoopes is afflicted by Burned

to their North West, BIG ASHLEY runs into a Flame Troll on E6, and resolves to keep running. the troll rolls max damage, however, and also sticks BIG ASHLEY with a burn

oh for FUCks sake

CryoGyro rests up on E4 after their close shave with goon squad, who still lie in wait on e5...

cycle 21

Deep Vein Thrombosis loot a Sticky Note at D2, which will come in handy later. it prevents the target from fleeing the encounter it is used in. they search G1 to find out how their Spambot ambush resolved—the Spambots are both still there, but grape tylenol is gone. in her place is ThatOneSpork, who flees the encounter

Albatross scans H1 to confirm the key hasn't been looted yet. it's a bit dicey but she'll rest here for a turn to let grape tylenol finally meet up with her

grape tylenol arrives at the healing pool on E1 and interacts with it, healing back up after scraping through the last two encounters. these pools fully restore HP as well as status to OK, with a cooldown period after for them to restore that power. these might have made sense as locations to Bookmark and/or Hyperlink to or from, but perhaps owing to their location out on the perimeter, they ultimately didn't see much use

xzern discovers a Sticky Note of their own in a treasure chest, at E3, and adds it to their growing arsenal of tools

Brambane starts working their way down column H, running into (and then from) a clutch of Daemons

BIG ASHLEY falls into goon squad's ambush at E5

Let's turn BIG ASHLEY into BIG ASHES

the strength of their combined attacks plus the nasty Burned status is too much:

It's another direct hit. You stagger a few more steps before collapsing.

Everything seems to spin and blur around you, passing in a flash and slowly at the same time—the masked figures, the key, Lady Salamence, the H5 statue. You are both still and falling, and for a brief moment you can see everything, nowhere: posts, likes, even the Posting Points themselves. There is a sensation like a would-be obvious discovery, a light coming on—of course! The meaning of it all...

But it is just too late to grasp it, the message of a dream moments after waking, the truth in the corner of your eye.

And then everything fades.

You have been defeated.

giggling thinking about how devious we are. i wonder if anyone else is killing in this game

goon squad are now in a pretty strong position; they have a wealth of Likes, their pick of a handful of other players' items, and they're posted up in a location other players with the default win condition will need to visit. perhaps most importantly, they now have a Mysterious Key, looted from BIG ASHLEY's corpse. for now it is just a curious trinket to them

The Math Professors arrive at F5, and loot the Spam Mail

cycle 22

Deep Vein Thrombosis and Albatross and grape tylenol finally all run into one another on the same tile, E2. there's some confusion, though, about if Albatross and grape tylenol's alliance is secret, and the subterfuged is fumbled somewhat. there are too many people on one tile to merge parties, so Deep Vein Thrombosis are fishing for one of them to join up. Albatross and grape tylenol have already agreed to team up, but don't want this to be immediately obvious. it's pretty anti-climactic; everyone agrees to go home to their families... for now

CryoGyro runs in to Mathy and phoopes and a clutch of Daemons. there's a brief glimmer of hope, here, as they all seem to come to the unexpressed agreement that dealing with the Daemons comes first, and dispatch each of them, a team effort, in a single round of combat

[Talk] about time i saw someone else, what have you found

this might have been an opportunity for The Math Professors to gain their third party member; i get the impression that CryoGyro would have gladly joined up, and they could have shared a lot of intel. but Mathy had other ideas:

It's time to take him out
[Attack]

Attack attack

CryoGyro is forced to flee

xzern and Troubadour1 just miss one another, crossing at D3—E3

ThatOneSpork comes across a treasure chest at G2, but the posts give him pause

BEWARE MIMIC REAL​

mimic deez nuts​

It's a trap!​

he opts to rest up before attempting to loot it since he's so low on health

goon squad realise they have the powerful Search Lens:

[Search] - Choose another location to view (ie, "G5")

Huh? Is that a thing we can do?

(you got it off chimp wayyyy back in cycle 9, and youve had that power ever since! not sure you've ever used it)

Lol I completely forgot about that

you grow numb to the death

and opt to use their Mysterious Key looted from BIG ASHLEY on the lock where they are on E5. they're flying blind, though, without knowledge of the wider puzzle or what the key inscriptions refer to—they denote the lock each key is for, and they aren't in the right place

There is a flash of red from the cube, and suddenly a clutch of Daemons is crawling out from around it, squabbling and jabbering and pointing their little bidents at you!

the Daemons are no match for them, but they send the message loud and clear that fumbling around with keys and locks is not the way to go. they opt to combine uses of their Alert Bell and Search Lens to ping for any sign of nearby players, and then take a look at any finds, and they hit the motherlode:

You ring the Alert Bell...

North West	North	North East
West	goon squad	Ping!
South West	South	South East

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is F4.

CryoGyro, Mathy, and phoopes are here. There is a clutch of Daemons here.

It looks like they are fighting!

i'm not sure if what came next was intentional or an error, but in response to this information they discuss getting the drop on CryoGyro, who they know to already be weak, and then head North East (away from them) instead of North West

either way, goon squad leave the incriminating corpse of BIG ASHLEY behind and move on in search of more targets

cycle 23
Deep Vein Thrombosis carry on beelining South East with a view to catch ThatOneSpork. they search H1 again and discover he didn't manage to leave with the key after all; it's still there

goon squad run into Troubadour1, on E4:

oh hey what’s up

Attack Check1Two

^

Troubadour1 pleads with them to stop:

[Talk] ayy woah woah chill out :(

... but goon squad carry on until it is done. this is the fourth player they have slain

the very turn Troubadour1 is slain, xzern arrives at D4. reading the following post, they resolve to wait:

Hey if I'm not here I'll be back in a sec ​

... but Troubadour1 will never return

CryoGyro arrives at G4 having fled combat, but The Math Professors got lucky guessing the direction to give chase in, and they're right after him. Brambane has also opted to veer in from the perimeter and come here. both players will flee from attacks, here, and the moderator-aligned players split their damage, but Mathy had a pretty interesting rationale for not attempting to focus down CryoGyro:

Do you want me to keep beating on CG or team up on Brambane?

Whomever you want, I just want to see if Bramb has any armor

Albatross and grape tylenol are finally able to form a proper, formal party, the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses. they head down to E3, ostensibly to meet up with BIG ASHLEY, who has decided to not reveal that they have died—and asked me to do the same. i'm not sure what the function of this gambit was, or where it interfaces with deadtalking rules... but perhaps it is funny? they scan E4, their destination:

ashelyDeluxe girlhandles Albatross's bell. It lets out a flat, unimpressed ring:

North West	North	North East
Ping!	You	Ping!
Ping!	South	South East

Then she peers into the Search Lens. The glass shifts and fogs...

This is E4.

There is a strange device here...

Check1Two is here. There are two masked figures in red robes here.

lol check is gonna get fucked

cycle 24

Deep Vein Thrombosis come across ThatOneSpork resting at the chest, talk, decide whether to recruit or kill. Drifting is pretty keen on killing spork and moving on, but voltage (perhaps rightly) suggests inviting him to team up. three-man parties are very powerful, and with ThatOneSpork on the team, this is the game's first. with that resolved, the party are able to loot the treasure chest, to discover the Message of Mending, a very handy trinket that will allow them to designate a party member as a healer. all the more reason to have three people on board

the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses cross paths with goon squad and discover the corpse of Troubadour1 at E4, and decide to try their hands at combat. grape tylenol decides to name them John and Olgilvie, since they are only presented as "Masked Figure #" to players outwith their party. Albatross is left very low, so they resolve to flee, but before they can :

As you turn to flee, Olgilvie does something rather strange: they stow their weapon.

Instead, they produce a Quote Bubble, and hold it aloft.

A second, ghostly Albatross appears:

Albatross is first to strike, launching herself at Olgilvie with a slash of her Scraper Knife!

Scraper Knife 1d2-3 = 3 - 1 (Defence bonus) = 2

... But instead of attacking Olgilvie, this Albatross attacks the first!

Before things can get any more horrifying, you escape.

Albatross is left with just 1 HP

xzern gives up on waiting for Troubadour1 at D4 and moves over to E4

i waited 2 turns for your ass ​

he'll pass goon squad as he does

Brambane arrives at the Editor and decides to rest up

The Math Professors loot G4 for the Hot Pepper trinket, which grants an Attack Bonus and the chance for attacks to inflict the Burned status. both of their quarries have evaded them

cycle 25

the Ghostlight Girlkeep Gatebosses finally discover BIG ASHLEY's corpse, and are gutted not only that she is dead, but that her key is gone. they ring the Alert Bell and discover that xzern is on E4. conscious that he might have the key (and that they are now a party member down), they ponder inviting him in. they are once again in a precarious position, and the will need to stay put to heal Albatross, who is still clinging to life with 1 HP

the goon squad carry on prowling for targets, narrowly missing xzern as they pass one another

The Math Professors catch up with Brambane, but the Editor forbids combat. Mathy takes the opportunity to upgrade both he and phoopes' weapons, and cures the latter's Burned status, for a total of 20 Likes. we could all use a friend like Mathy

CryoGyro discovers monkfish's corpse, but it has already been looted by xzern. they will continue roaming on the outskirts of the game, now

Deep Vein Thrombosis arrive at H2. they are just one move from claiming a second key

cycle 26
Brambane returns to G4, the scene of their earlier skirmish, only to find the chest there has already been looted

xzern arrives on E5 with the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses, and is formally inducted into their order. they share information, and they're now shored up pretty nicely with a mix of items. xzern's upgraded weapon in particular draws attention, and he reveals the existence of the Editor, on G3

The Math Professors arrive at G2, and ring their Alert Bell, which shows one party to their East

that party is Deep Vein Thrombosis, who have finally arrived at H1. Drifting enters the password, while Voltage explains how they determined this to ThatOneSpork. ThatOneSpork has taken up the mantle of team healer, and heals Drifting with their Message of Mending

Drifting steps up to the terminal to enter the phrase "hehehe"...

There's a delay, a few soft bloops, and then the quiet hum of something whirring up...

Before you know it, the key you had seen suspended in the tube disappears. In the same moment, Drifting is conscious that they now hold two mysterious keys!

You gained an item:

[Mysterious Key]
It bears an inscription:
"ST-TDC"

with the last key on the board claimed, change is coming. while Deep Vein Thrombosis ponder their next move, the fog around the key inscriptions and their significance seems to clear:

that sounds like a lot of work hmmmmm...

anyway I think this is referring to the Smogon Tour subforum (or Spanish Translations but i doubt we're getting toddy en espanol).

Let me look through to see what I can find

ohhhh TDC could be Trou Du Cul also... very interesting toddey...

wait, for B101-FDL, FDL is Firebot Development Lab, another closed forum like Trou Du Cul... I may be cooking Voltage

You're absolutely cooking hold up

Well ok I've figured out what the words mean but how does that even help

Battling 101 - Firebot Development Lab

Smogon Tour - Trou Du Cul

do you think it has something to do with the ID of each of the forums?

B101 (42)

FDL (38)

ST (49)

TDC (46)

oh shit hold up

If there's a way to convert the pairs on the keys from these letters to a coordinate square, then I think we're golden

Since it looks like none of us have actually been in the center and we've all gone along the perimeter or one in, let's start making our way towards E4, I think E4, E5, D4, and D5 all have the blocks. I confirmed E5 has one, so I'll [SCAN] D4 to see if this pattern holds and it is the middle ones, and ThatOneSpork should scan either E4 or D5

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is D4.

There is a strange device here.

Banger

Holy shit I just figured it out while playing smash.

The "-" on the keys isn't a hyphen; it's a minus

B101-FDL = 42 - 38 = 4

ST-TDC = 49 - 46 = 3

This means we have keys 3 and 4, and the ones we need will be 1 and 2. We have to put each key in the associated slot.

Do NOT tell anyone this information, this is a gamechanger

next time: the game is changed

 

[a fairy]

Albatross and grape tylenol are finally able to form a proper, formal party, the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses. they head down to E3, ostensibly to meet up with BIG ASHLEY, who has decided to not reveal that they have died—and asked me to do the same. i'm not sure what the function of this gambit was, or where it interfaces with deadtalking rules... but perhaps it is funny? they scan E4, their destination:

this is the funniest play i think i've seen so far rofl

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

this is the funniest play i think i've seen so far rofl

it would've worked a lot better and been a lot funnier if we hadn't been a few squares apart and about to meet up lmao. not entirely sure what i was thinking, tbh?

also, re: keys: i had the one with FDL written on it, and while we'd kind of figured out what the other initialisms were it took me a bit longer to figure that one out. felt pretty stupid that night, i tell you...! not sure i would ever have figured out the number correspondence, let alone the subtraction.

 

[CryoGyro]

 

[Voltage]

Couple notes from this update from my end I'd like to add.

Seeing how Drifting was rightfully marching towards an end goal, and not knowing if it was actually legitimately possible for a party to win, or if todd was gonna pull a "there can only be one", when we happened upon Spork, I had to do everything in my power to not let Drifting just kill spork. It was always in the back of my mind that, until we were three, Drifting might just turn on me and claim the win for as a solo, or that in the event that to a teammate vs. teammate situation and it was me vs. him, we would have the upper hand with the redirect. Once we got spork in the party, I felt MUUUUUCH more comfortable. There's of course, also the fact that if the max party size was three, we would be best off together since that way we'd be able to hold more items, have more turns in PvP encounters, and perhaps distribute the roles of our party a bit more evenly. After finding the healing item in the chest, we designated spork as a healer, and were WAYYY better off as a party which really was validating for me lolololol

 

[Mathy]

i had a search lens before it was mainstream

 

[ThatOneSpork]

Couple notes from this update from my end I'd like to add.

Seeing how Drifting was rightfully marching towards an end goal, and not knowing if it was actually legitimately possible for a party to win, or if todd was gonna pull a "there can only be one", when we happened upon Spork, I had to do everything in my power to not let Drifting just kill spork. It was always in the back of my mind that, until we were three, Drifting might just turn on me and claim the win for as a solo, or that in the event that to a teammate vs. teammate situation and it was me vs. him, we would have the upper hand with the redirect. Once we got spork in the party, I felt MUUUUUCH more comfortable. There's of course, also the fact that if the max party size was three, we would be best off together since that way we'd be able to hold more items, have more turns in PvP encounters, and perhaps distribute the roles of our party a bit more evenly. After finding the healing item in the chest, we designated spork as a healer, and were WAYYY better off as a party which really was validating for me lolololol

I was absolutely expecting something like this as well, and was debating if I should just try and stab you guys in the back early on so that I could get outta the possible deathtrap with at least 1 new item, if not more from fighting. Definitely glad I didn't choose to do that, woulda been one hell of a mistake. Also, the fact that BIG ASHLEY died much earlier than I thought makes the attempted bamboozling later even funnier to me.

 

[earl]

bliz and i never feared a betrayal from each other. the bad guys always get along best

 

[Troubadour1]

the very turn Troubadour1 is slain, xzern arrives at D4. reading the following post, they resolve to wait:

Hey if I'm not here I'll be back in a sec ​

... but Troubadour1 will never return

​

This is so sad :(

xzern gives up on waiting for Troubadour1 at D4 and moves over to E4

i waited 2 turns for your ass

Oh nvm

 

[EdwardMatthew]

GOD im so smooth. this is why so many women want me

Haaha good one

 

[Voltage]

when will we find out how the game is changed az

 

[az]

late game (cycles 27-32)
players trigger a race to the finish. two rival teams establish themselves firmly as the frontrunners, and there's a bloodbath on E4

cycle 27

the administrators have arrived

threads have been bumped

the claiming of the final key triggers the spawning of four Administrators, one for each chamber. it isn't clear to players what their function is, but the ominous announcement seems to get the idea across—better run

the newly-formed Deep Vein Thrombosis move down to H2, and take the opportunity to scan the corner they just left with their Search Lens, curious about the Administrators:

Voltage peers into the Search Lens...

This is H1.

The terminal and container are here. An administrator is here.

holy fuck

jesus christ

the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses pass goon squad as they cross back from E5 to E4, having finally come to terms with the loss of BIG ASHLEY. the ringing of Albatross's bell shows both goon squad and Brambane nearby

goon squad are frustrated to be continually evaded, and ring their own bell to detect hapless posters. with a hit, they search the source...

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E4.

The strange device is here.

Albatross, ashelyDeluxe, and xzern are here.

What remains of Check1Two is here.

Head Nor'easter'ly

yuuuup

the math professors receive a curious message:

You have arrived at F2.

There is a pool of water here. You cannot see the bottom.

As you arrive here, there is the crackling of static from each of your Moderator Badges, so that when the familiar voice of the swordsman comes through, it is in stereo:

"Hmm... Looks like there's no helping it—all four keys to the Posting Points have been looted by posters.

"They'll be taking them to the centre, now.

"We'll have to stop them. Good luck, hrm?"

with that, they check their surroundings for nearby players. with no-one adjacent to them, they dutifully do The Last Moderator's bidding, and begin traveling to the centre of the map.

Brambane arrives at F4 and runs into a Troll. they chance fighting for a spell, but eventually resolve to flee—though not without taking a couple of nasty hits to drop them to just 5 HP

cycle 28

Deep Vein Thrombosis run afoul of a clutch of Daemons—or more accurately, a clutch of Daemons run afoul of them, as they are dispatched in a single round. they scan ahead to D5 to make sure no-one is opening locks before them, and then head North-West

CryoGyro comes across the masked figure at F7, but pays them no mind. they look over chimp's corpse (already thoroughly looted), and then carry on their way

the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses discover the troll Brambane already took a swing at, and put it down with ease:

You draw your weapons as the Troll approaches, and ashelyDeluxe raises aloft the Redirect Page

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 3

... It's all unnecessary, however, as xzern springs into action first, and strikes the troll straight through the heart with a lightning-fast throw of their needle.

The troll falls down dead on the spot.

You each gained 2 Likes!

a ring of Albatross's bell shows two other posters (or parties) nearby, but a scan of their intended destination reveals it is clear—they are beelining now for the Editor at xzern's recommendation, and avoiding confrontation until they can power up is paramount, especially with Albatross still clinging to life with only 2 HP

the Math Professors arrive at F2, and phoopes picks up the Static status. eager to each the centre, they ring their bell and search the lock squares:

You ring the Alert Bell...

North West	North	North East
Ping!	You	East
Ping!	South	South East

After ringing the bell, you peer into the Search Lens...

This is E4.

There is a strange device here. What remains of Check1Two is here.

Brambane is here. There are two masked figures in red robes here. It looks like they are fighting!

already in bad shape, Brambane discovers a corpse, and the cause—goon squad are here. wisely, Brambane choose to flee:

As you turn to flee, both masked figures sweep their cloaks aside and draw their weapons.

Masked Figure 1 is first, whirling their needle about on its thread, and then launching it at you!

Needle & Thread 1d0-4 = 4

It's a devastating blow that sends you sprawling!

Before you can regain your feet, Masked Figure 2 similarly lets fly with a whirr and a rattle of their needle's spool!

Needle & Thread 1d0-4 = 3

The blow floors you. You try to struggle to your feet, but everything fades. The last thing you see is the pair of ominous figures stood over you, the masks on their faces impassive...

You have been defeated!

and with that, another poster falls

goon squad share their bounty of 23 Likes, and loot a vial of Blue Ink, and the elusive Hyper Quill. it's a pretty productive hunt

they ring their bell and search one of the locations it pings, revealing the Math Professors at F3, unawares they were spying on them only moments earlier. they resolve to move that way, in search of more kills

cycle 29

Deep Vein Thrombosis arrive at the Editor's workshop, and set about upgrading their weapons and reshuffling their gear to optimise the party build. they also walk away with a brand new Hyper Quill, and a healthy stock of three vials of Blue Ink. this just about cleans them out of Likes, but will prove to be a worthwhile investment. after finishing up at the Editor, they scan F3, and determine they don't like the look of the Static-afflicted flora, opting to path South-West instead

CryoGyro arrives at E7 and loots the chest there to also claim a vial of Blue Ink, although they have no Hyper Quill with which to use it

just one tile away, the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses arrive at G4, also headed for the Editor. they also have goon squad hot on their heels

as of looting Brambane, earl becomes the first poster to break 100 Likes. wow!! goon squad are thoroughly stocked up, and confidently prowling for more posters to kill. ringing their bell, they ping a few tiles, and opt to search G3, turning up both Deep Vein Thrombosis there and the existence of the Editor's shop, previously unknown to them. they head straight for it, with the three major parties all within a tile of one another

cycle 30

Deep Vein Thrombosis pass the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses as they leave the Editor, and collide with goon squad, at last. the unlooted treasure chest might otherwise do for a motivator to fight over, but both teams are in confident positions, and this showdown was inevitable—Deep Vein Thrombosis have a confident understanding of the game, a solid, well-rounded party build, and a good number of cards in their hand re: the endgame with two keys already in their possession

meanwhile, goon squad are outnumbered, and less well-geared, but with a long list of player kills to their name, and only a few more standing between them and meeting their win condition. whatever the outcome here will result in a huge shift in power. neither side will back down

... not least of all because Deep Vein Thrombosis, like many players before them, imagine the Masked Figures to be non-player enemies!

it's weird that the text says "include your message though", could these be enemy players in some sort of disguise?

Speed tie: Voltage: 1d6 = 6 Blizihguh: 1d6 = 5 earl: 1d6 = 2

... ThatOneSpork pipes up, as Drifting cautiously prepares their Redirect Page.

In response, you draw your weapons!

Voltage is first off the mark, whirling their needle about by it's thread before hurling it at earl!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 2 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 1

Armour dampens the blow, but Voltage is not to be deterred; they somehow attack earl again!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

This time the impact is a little more convincing.

Perhaps in retaliation for their ally, Blizihguh steps up and hurls a needle of their own at ThatOneSpork! But Drifting's Redirect Page held aloft sends the attack against earl, against their will!

Needle & Thread 1d0-4 = 4 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 3

earl takes a devastating blow, this time. Then they launch their own needle, finally, this one also directed at ThatOneSpork!

Needle & Thread 1d0-4 = 2 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 1

Again the strength of the blow is sapped by armour.

Speed tie: ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 1 Voltage: 1d6 = 4 Blizihguh: 1d6 = 2 earl: 1d6 = 3

Drifting once again raises their Redirect Page.

Flanking them is Voltage, who launches, recalls, and launches again their needle at earl!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 4 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 3

Under the unrelenting barrage, earl falls to their knees, and falls down, defeated.

Blizihguh steps up and lobs their own needle again, this time at Drifting... But Drifting redirects the attack, right back at them.

Needle & Thread 1d0-4 = 4 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 3

Finally, ThatOneSpork steps in, brandishing their Pushpin at Blizihguh!

Shimmering Pushpin 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Speed tie: Voltage: 1d6 = 1 ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 4

ThatOneSpork strikes again with a thrust of their Pushpin!

Shimmering Pushpin 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

... But before you can be subject to any more punishment, you flee.

with earl down, and Blizihguh having turned tail, the goon squad party is broken, if not destroyed

Deep Vein Thrombosis loot earl (or Masked Figure 2, as they are known to them) for a whopping 105 Likes, and their pick from a plethora of items, not least of which is one of the missing keys:

Equipment
[Needle & Thread] (0-4 dmg)
"Sharp enough to pierce, with enough thread to bring it back to you."

[Quote Bubble]
Confers the Quote ability in combat.
"The same joke, just louder."

Inventory
[Hyper Quill]
Allows the inscription of hyperlink posts, to link two threads together. Requires Blue Ink.
"'The Hyper Quill is mightier than the Quill.' - Unknown..."

[Rusty Thumbtacks] - (0-2 dmg, twice)
"They held something in place, once."

[Firewall]
Blocks all incoming status effects. +1 Defence Bonus
"Get out, stay out."

[Mysterious Key]
It bears an inscription:
"FDL-IS"

[Trojan Egg]
Choose a location (eg "G5") to plant the egg. On the next cycle, a Spambot will appear there. Destroyed on use.
"Not sure horses come from eggs..."

[Ring of Refreshing]
Restores 1 HP at the end of each cycle.
"Spamming it doesn't appear to do anything."

They are also wearing, of course, a mask and red robes, but for some reason no matter what you try, you cannot remove them. Curious.

with three out of the four keys in their possession, this battle was a huge boon to Deep Vein Thrombosis, making them the clear frontrunners. they then peer into their Search Lens, revealing arguably the last remaining threat to them: the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses, just a stone's throw away at the Editor:

the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses upgrade their weapons, pay to have Albatross healed to full, and pick up a Hyper Quill for themselves, too. with a ring of the Alert Bell showing them the parties group on G4, they scan it to see the masked figures fighting Deep Vein Thrombosis, and opt to stay put for now

with a second Search Lens in Deep Vein Thrombosis's possession they are also able to scan F4 and discover three Spambots:

uhhhhhhh, how about no

this party may be powerful, but this late in the game the dangers out in the world have ramped up, too. with both Hyper Quills and Blue Ink at their disposal, Deep Vein Thrombosis elect to create the game's first ever Hyperlink:

Voltage produces their Hyper Quill and one of their vials of Blue Ink with a clink of glass.

They set to work inscribing a special kind of post, the whole contents of which are a link to E4. When it is complete, the text glows a promising blue.

E4​

One of your Blue Inks was consumed.

Touching the link transports you to your destination...

my dumbass tried to click it

quite separate from all of the chaos, the Math Professors finally arrive at the centre tile of E4. the lock is intact, but it is an eerie sight:

they breathe a sigh of relief that all is not yet lost, and opt to double back to E3—since it is a tenth cycle, the chest there is replenished

cycle 31

as if on cue, Deep Vein Thrombosis warp in from their hyperlink, the creation of which is broadcast to the rest of the game:

a poster has fallen

a link has been formed

threads have been bumped

they look over goon squad's handiwork, but it is obvious the bodies have been picked clean, so they turn their attention to the locks

[Investigate]

You take a closer look at the contraption...

It appears to be very clearly unnatural. The cube's four vertical faces are each embossed with two vertical strips, and on its top is an aperture reminiscent of a keyhole.

Ah I see, this is for Key 2, and D5 is for Key 3. Key 2 happens to be the one we're missing anyway so we couldn't try it if we even wanted to.

Well we have two search lenses, where do you wanna check?

they resolve to check G4 first:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is G4.

There is a treasure chest here, but it is empty.

There is a Spambot here. There is an Administrator here. earl is here.

nightmare blunt rotation

poor earl

poor earl indeed.

hold on a second, earl???

Pain, heat, dark, cold.

There is a sensation like everything ending, but you are sure that it begins, again, as though no time at all has passed.

Is that a voice? No, music...? You are briefly lulled into something like a dream, and then a terrible presence jolts you awake.

It is Cycle 31.

You are still at G4.

Your body is your own, once again. Looking around you, you can see that the fight is over, that Blizihguh is gone, and that your [Mask of Alt] has shattered. In fact, you are sure that everything has been taken from you—your weapon, your trinket, your items, every one of your Likes. But then you discover your trusty Rusty Thumbtacks.

There is no more time than that to contemplate matters, however:

There is a treasure chest here, but it is empty.

A glowing orb left here on the ground throbs and hums until a Spambot stands before you. And most terrible of all, there is an Administrator here.

It would be best to run.

There are posts here:

ugh. another "woke" tile. when will they start making tiles for men?​

what does that even mean​

slugma​

Then, you notice something else: a different kind of post:

E4​

Its text thrums with power.

You received 3 Likes from your posts.

Actions
[Attack] - Engage in combat. (Will equip your Rusty Thumbtacks)
OR
End cycle
[Flee] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE. You may be subject to an attack!
OR
[Travel] - Touch a link and travel to a new location: E4.

Please select your action(s).

I will travel

also wow this is definitely the revive of all time

revived by their Mask of Alt, earl is risen, and straight into hell. it is a small blessing that Deep Vein Thrombosis turned their noses up at his simple weapons, and an even greater blessing that they chose to create their hyperlink, at the site of his death—traveling via hyperlink, unlike fleeing, does not provoke attacks of opportunity, and so allows earl to escape the wrath of both the Administrator and the Spambot. with perhaps no other meaningful choice, earl touches the link, and enters into the unknown...

I am 100% sure Earl is coming here, and where we are is presumably the safest from Admins. We should Rest to take care of him asap

like, idk about you but if i'm on a square with the grim fucking reaper (and spambot buddy) i'm pressing the gtfo button given to me

fair assessment, but are you concerned by the fact that the admin could also get here at the same pace? Unlike you expect to have him hyperlink. I guess your logic holds since we know where the other three keys are, but we might be resting here for a while if we think earl has the last key.

edit: wait do we know if earl can fast travel?

One other minor thought, do you think the fallen characters get reborn as the hooded figures like the ones we took down and looted? That was my hypothesis but I don't have a great way to prove that beyond the fact that we dead party of two near a key block and we killed two red figures with a key

Definitely an interesting thought, have you guys encountered anyone other than me and yourselves?

that is also my current assumption voltage

Cool, so we should be wary that if we kill earl we might not be able to loot the body immediately

this exchange between Deep Vein Thrombosis was a ton of fun because they are so close to the truth on the masked figures, but with mostly inverted, and having ironically already looted earl. reading player analyses of the game was really, really fun, and Drifting, Voltage, and ThatOneSpork had a lot of these moments

perhaps inspired by the creation of Deep Vein Thrombosis's link, the Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses confer and resolve to purchase three vials of Blue Ink of their own:

After leaving her post, ashelyDeluxe produces her Hyper Quill and one of the vials of Blue Ink with a clink of glass.

She sets to work inscribing a special kind of post, the whole contents of which are a link to C4. When it is complete, the text glows a promising blue.

C4​

One of your Blue Inks was consumed.

Touching the link transports you to your destination...

now alone, Blizihguh has the misfortune to run into an Administrator—or rather the Administrator runs into him. you see, each Administrator is bound to pursue the key it is responsible for, and with three of those keys with the Deep Vein Thrombosis party, they are bound to converge on one spot. i don't think earl and Blizihguh were communicating outside of the game, so what follows is a pretty desperate struggle for the pair to stay alive while searching for one another. perhaps fitting, following their villainous arc...?

the Math Professors loot the chest they travelled to at E3 for a Blue Ink, and then search E4. they don't like what they find:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E4.

There is a strange contraption here.

Drifting, Voltage, and ThatOneSpork are here.

The remains of Brambane and Check1Two are here.

we're screwed...

[Move] SW and hope for the best

it is a race against time, now, for the moderators

You have arrived at D6.

There is a treasure chest here.

There are posts here:

look closely at the chest - things are not quite as they appear..!​

the hell do you mean LMAO free armor​

The armor is free for a reason :o​

CryoGyro refuses to be bullied out of treasure by superstition, and loots the chest for the Cloak of Proxy, a piece of armour that hides the wearer during scans via the Search Lens on their location

cycle 32

wandering perhaps aimlessly, CryoGyro stumbles into the cold tile at C6, and gains the Frozen status

after warping through their hyperlink, Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses arrive at C4, home to some of Albatross's early game art. ah, memories!

You have arrived at C4.

There is a treasure chest here.

There are posts here:

If you are cool come meet me at D4​

Albatross received 2 Likes from their posts.

xzern received 1 Like from their posts.

they loot the chest for a Reply Button, and then search another treasure tile, B5:

the gameplan seems to be to zip around the map with the Blue Ink and snag all of the treasure available, and it isn't a bad one at all. with B5 so close, however, for now they resolve to travel the old fashioned way via B4

Oh come on, where's my dude ;_; I guess back at the tree?

Flee NE, I just wanna get to somewhere that I can search and potentially link from orz

Blizihguh continues searching in vain for earl

elsewhere, all hell breaks loose

You are still at E4.

The strange lock is here.

The remains of Brambane and Check1Two are here.

earl, Mathy, and phoopes are here.

Oh boy

(yup)

Deep Vein Thrombosis' plan to stay put pays off, as a hapless earl steps out of the frying pan and into the fire, and moderator-aligned Math Professors hustle straight back into an ambush

what follows is an absolute bloodbath:

Speed tie: Drifting: 1d6 = 2 Voltage: 1d6 = 5 ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 1 Mathy: 1d6 = 4 phoopes: 1d6 = 6

guys i’m literally broke and naked and just a little guy

earl's cry falls on deaf ears, as everyone else draws their weapons!

phoopes is first to strike, darting for ThatOneSpork and lunging with their pushpin!

Reinforced Pushpin 1d2-3 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

As the strike connects, there is a flash of electricity...!

BZZZZRRPTTT!

... Both phoopes and ThatOneSpork took 2 additional damage!

Then, phoopes strikes a second time!

Reinforced Pushpin 1d2-3 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

It's another powerful blow, although this time there is no discharging of energy.

Voltage launches into the melee, instead targeting Mathy.

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 3 - 2 (Defence Bonus) = 1

Mathy's formidable armour keeps them protected from the worst of it, but Voltage, too, attacks a second time!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 4 - 2 (Defence Bonus) = 2

They must have felt that one, even through their armour.

In retaliation, Mathy brandishes their tagger at ThatOneSpork!

Empowered Tagger 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus = 2

A magical spark hurtles from the tip of the wand-like weapon to zap ThatOneSpork.

Now Drifting wades in, whirling a great knife around before slashing it at Mathy!

Scraper Knife 1d2-3 = 3 - 2 (Defence Bonus) = 1

Another fearsome blow, largely neutered by effective armour.

Finally, ThatOneSpork joins in to trade blows, charging Mathy with their pushpin!

Shimmering Pushpin 3 - 2 (Defence Bonus) = 1

Speed tie: phoopes: 1d6 = 1 Voltage: 1d6 = 3 ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 2

I am putting my hands up in the air

wait are you guys mods too?

Drifting produces their Redirect Page, and points it at Mathy... But nothing happens.

Then Voltage is rounding on phoopes, whirling their needle about by its thread, and letting fly!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 4

It's a devastating skewering, and for one reason or another phoopes seems like they are unprotected.

Not only that, but Voltage strikes again, reeling their needle back in and launching it at phoopes again!

Refined Needle & Thread 1d2-4 = 3

phoopes staggers, their own weapon at the ready, and then falls down, defeated.

With phoopes already downed, ThatOneSpork turns their pushpin on Mathy!

Shimmering Pushpin 3 - 2 (Defence Bonus) = 1

The precise thrusting of the blade is dampened by Mathy's formidable armour.

what does he means "mods"

If I had to guess, maybe “mods” are players that somehow work for the admins? I guess

erm what the smog???

Mathy wisely makes ready to flee, but Drifting has other ideas...

Drifting catches Mathy with a Sticky Note: they can no longer flee!

For good measure, Voltage holds up their Redirect Page pointed at Mathy, although it has no effect.

In the meantime, ThatOneSpork meditates on their Message of Mending, and restores 2 HP to themselves.

holy crap

well i hope yall are mods like me because im screwed otherwise

So Mathy... I have some questions. First of all (and most importantly), what's this "mod" you speak of? Secondly, do you know where any keys are? Lastly, have ya found anything interesting on the map and where might we find those interesting things?

Voltage produces their Quote Bubble:

Drifting catches Mathy with a Sticky Note: they can no longer flee!

... but instead of Mathy, it is earl that is the target. earl can no longer flee!

Drifting holds up their Redirect Page at Mathy, but to no effect.

holy crap

well i hope yall are mods like me because im screwed otherwise

So Mathy... I have some questions. First of all (and most importantly), what's this "mod" you speak of? Secondly, do you know where any keys are? Lastly, have ya found anything interesting on the map and where might we find those interesting things?

Voltage produces their Quote Bubble:

Drifting catches Mathy with a Sticky Note: they can no longer flee!

... but instead of Mathy, it is earl that is the target. earl can no longer flee!

Drifting holds up their Redirect Page at Mathy, but to no effect.

earl, Mathy, and ThatOneSpork talk amongst themselves...

Evidently, the time for diplomacy is ended.

Drifting presents their Redirect Page and aims it at Mathy, but nothing happens.

Voltage produces their Quote Bubble, and a tear in reality appears:

Drifting holds up their Redirect Page at Mathy, but to no effect.

... But instead of Mathy, it is earl that is redirected, but to no effect.

ThatOneSpork meditates on their Message of Mending, and restores 2 HP.

... With both earl and Mathy caught in this pattern of redirects and time looping on itself, it begins to lose meaning. Both are helpless to affect the plans of their opponents. Talk or fight, it is inevitable, now, that they will be defeated.

They are both held in stasis like this for what could be a single round of combat, or several, until ThatOneSpork is fully healed, and eventually they are both finished off.

When it is done, earl and Mathy lie defeated.

who knows what earl's plan was, here, but whatever game he was playing it didn't end well for him. without the protection of his Mask of Alt, he is gone for good, this time, and so too are moderators

also [post] "Phive here: don't believe anyone who claims to be a mod, they're lying for longevity."

after leaving some anti-moderator propaganda, Deep Vein Thrombosis pick through the items of the now-mounting pile of corpses here at E4

You go over each of the corpses...

You share 44 Likes!

earl
[Rusty Thumbtacks] - (0-2 dmg, twice) - Weapon
"They held something in place, once."

Mathy
[Empowered Tagger] (3 dmg) - Weapon
"The swirl at its centre thrums with energy."

[Firewall] - Armour
Blocks all incoming status effects. +1 Defence Bonus.
"Get out, stay out."

[Moderator Badge] - Trinket
Signifies the holder as moderator-aligned. There is a latent power within it. +1 Defence Bonus.
"Service with a smite."

[Feather Quill] - Item
Allows the user to [Post].
"Never seems to run dry."

[Search Lens] - Item
Allows the user to [Search] a location.
"Only lightly chipped."

[Bookmark] - Item
Allows the user to mark a location to return to once, at will. Destroyed on use.
"Right where you left off."

[Old Crest] - Armour
+1 Defence Bonus
"All that survives of the decorative design are two wings."

[Hot Pepper] - Trinket
Confers a chance for attacks to inflict Burn. +1 Attack bonus.
"Sprinkle for spicy takes and risky clicks."

phoopes
[Reinforced Pushpin] (2-3 dmg) - Weapon
"Its point promises a deadly thrust."

[Doubleposter's Doublet] - Armour
Allows the wearer to attack twice per turn. -1 Defence Bonus.
"Twice the posts, twice the infractions."

[Moderator Badge] - Trinket
Signifies the holder as moderator-aligned. There is a latent power within it. +1 Defence Bonus.
"Service with a smite."

[Hyper Quill] - Item
Allows the inscription of hyperlink posts, to link two threads together. Requires Blue Ink.
"'The Hyper Quill is mightier than the Quill.' - Unknown..."

[Bookmark] - Item
Allows the user to mark a location to return to once, at will. Destroyed on use.
"Right where you left off."

[Alert Bell] - Item
Allows the holder to [Ring] to detect players in adjacent tiles.
"It has a lonely sound."

[Spam Mail] - Armour
Afflicts attackers with the Poison status. +1 Defence Bonus.
"Geddit?"

[Blue Ink] - Item
Used with a Hyper Quill to inscribe links to other locations. Destroyed on use.
"The bottle says 'blue', but it keeps turning purple."

You have may to discard items to claim these.

All three of you use Bookmarks, two of them new, on the current spot. You can feel a bond to this area, and have each gained the [Return] action to come back to E4 at will.

You will discard the following items:

Old Crest
Scraper Knife

Deep Vein Thrombosis are now lousy with Likes, armed with an arsenal, and in great condition. for all of that, though, they still don't have the fourth and final key, and the one that corresponds to this lock

with nothing left for them here, they leave this mountain of bones behind

next time: the conclusion of smogoff rpg

 

[az]

when will we find out how the game is changed az

rfn

 

[earl]

my plan was begging for mercy i was naked and afraid lol

 

[shadowpea]

this just reminded me of something

given what happened to ls but also how she tried to work with the ggg i wonder what plans ashely had for me...

edit: right she was trying to lead ls into an ambush. ashely thats not what you had in mind for me too was it...?

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

edit: right she was trying to lead ls into an ambush. ashely thats not what you had in mind for me too was it...?

of course not! :)
on an unrelated note, would you like some cheese...? i've just left it under this box here.

 

[az]

end game (cycles 33-42)
the end of smogoff rpg

cycle 33

​

CryoGyro continues wandering, stumbling across The Last Moderator (who is now sadly without any junior moderators), but opts not to interact—perhaps as a result of the message left here:

do NOT talk to that guy. Holy shit​

team Ghostlight Gatekeep Girlbosses (had to look that up, it's been a while ok) arrive at B4, a (thankfully?) vacant tile. they take the opportunity to scout out E4, likely tipped off by the red flashing square on the map:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E4.

The strange contraption is here. The remains of Check1Two, Brambane, earl, Mathy, and phoopes are here.

A masked figure in a red robe is here.

There is an Administrator here.

Actions
[Change Equipment] - Move equipment to your inventory, and vice versa.
[Hyperlink] - Create a link from this location to another of your choosing (eg "A2"). Will destroy your Blue Ink.
[Post] - Inscribe a message at your current location for others to view (include your message).
THEN
End cycle
[Move] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE
OR
[Rest] - Remain at this location until the next cycle. You will regain 1 HP per cycle spent resting.

Please elect your action(s).

it is a pretty ominous sight—a mountain of bodies, and two forebodingly robed figures, like an apprentice in audience to their dark master. of course this isn't the case at all, and it is instead Blizihguh, whose frantic search for their former partner in crime earl at last comes to an end...

Oh everyone died? Guess that worked out. I jist want to find earl though orz

Flee NE

(that move is fine, but you might want to reread the above pm!)

Oh. Did he actually die for real? ;_;

Pour one out for a real one........

Deepvein Thrombosis are also spying on Blizihguh from D4, and Voltage is not happy that the Administrators have arrived at the centre of the map

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god

Voltage and ThatOneSpork defer key-lock duties to Drifting, who correctly elects to use the one marked "FDL-IS"—key number one

You insert the Mysterious Key marked "FDL-IS" into the lock, and turn it...

There is a *click!*, and then...!

... When the chamber has stopped shaking, the keyhole is gone.

Actions
[Heal] - Restore 2 HP to a character of your choosing. (Select a target)
[Hyperlink] - Create a link from this location to another of your choosing (eg "A2"). Will destroy your Blue Ink.
[Manage Inventory] - Swap items, equipment, etc.
[Post] - Inscribe a message at your current location for others to view (include your message).
THEN
End cycle
[Move] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE
OR
[Rest] - Remain at this location until the next cycle. You will regain 1 HP per cycle spent resting.
OR
[Return] - Return to a location you have previously marked: E4.

Please elect your action(s).

the beginning of the end.

DVT discuss how best to use their searches and whether to go hunt down GGG, resulting in searches with mixed results:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is C4.

There is a treasure chest here, but it is empty.

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is D5.

A strange contraption is here.

There is an Administrator here.

... in fact, it is worse than they know; on this cycle they are surrounded by administrators, with three in the centre:

with that out of the way they resolve to go hunt down GGG who they mistakenly believe to be on the eastern side of the map—likely because a thread was broadcast as having been made there previously—and they use a blue ink to form a link and zip to F2

cycle 34

cycle 34 begins

threads have become unstable

a link has been formed

threads have been bumped

with the first of four locks unlocked, the outer rim has become unstable, and these tiles will become impossible to rest on, forcing players into the centre for a final confrontation

DVT arrive at F2, but it is eerily quiet. they instead resolve to scan E4, but there's nothing but the lock and the evidence of their handiwork

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E4.

The lock is here.

The remains of Check1Two, Brambane, earl, Mathy, and phoopes are here.

CryoGyro arrives at B7, and scoops a Sticky Note. with their inventory full they discard one of their Trojan Eggs

Blizihguh arrives at E3, the Ring of Refreshing topping them as they go. perhaps not all hope is lost? they make the chilling discovery that The Editor has packed up and moved on with the onset of the endgame, and pop a squat to rest. they'll heal up quickly doing this with the refresh rhing

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is G3.

GGG acquire a Doubleposter's Doublet, check on the poster graveyard at E4, and then create a hyperlink and zip to D6 to continue lootfarming

cycle 35

CryoGyro bumps into three Scrapers, but the endgame gear is so powerful; two of them kill themselves on damage returned by his Reply Button, and the last he dispatches handily with his Needle & Thread. npc enemies are no match for a sufficiently geared poster, now

DVT arrive at E2 and discover some truly inspired posts:

im gay lol​

same lmao​

same lmao​

spork correctly identifies that GGG ported away last cycle:

View attachment 511095
We know someone left B5, didn't time this screenshot the best but you can just make it out.

they scan some tiles around, and ruminate on the function of administrators and masked figures

You peer into the Search Lenses...

This is E3.

There is a treasure chest here, but it is empty.

There is a masked figure in a red robe here.

This is D3.

Three Toxic Trolls lumber around here idly.

This is E4.

The lock is here.

The remains of Check1Two, Brambane, earl, Mathy, and phoopes are here.

There are two administrators here.

Well, I don’t really wanna move SW because if one of the admins moves NE we’re done, but I also think this red guy might have the key

If we really need to, we can go that direction and use bookmark to skedaddle should an admin go that way.

I get the sneaking suspicion that we might have to fight an admin at some point

it doesn't seem like you fight them, it seems like they take all your shit and make you respawn with nothing

damn shit you're right that's wack nvm fuck that

Maybe that's what MF's are, all your items in a husk made by the admin.

we may never know...

GGG arrive at D6 only to find the chest they have ported to already looted

they do manage to catch sight of CryoGyro fighting the Scrapers, though, via their Search Lens, and they resolve to try to catch him on the rebound at C6

Blizihguh appears to lose track of their tile, or is just really feeling themself:

You peer into the Search Lens...

​

This is E3.

There is an empty treasure chest here.

Oh, it's you!

Yo who's that handsome stud

cycle 36

DVT discover an unlooted treasure chest at D2. it's a Cloak of Proxy, and item type that goes unused throughout the game. with their Alert Bell they determine that someone is south of them, so they search that tile, and a few others

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E3.

There is a treasure chest here, but it is empty.

There is a masked figure in a red robe here.

There are two administrators here.

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is D3.

Three Toxic Trolls lumber around here idly.

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is D5.

There is a strange lock here.

with no good options around them, and D5 vacant, they opt to port there with their penultimate blue ink

as you might expect, Blizihguh flees from the administrators, heading north-west

GGG arrive at C6, but CryoGyro is nowhere to be found. they'll pick up the Frozen status for their efforts. their alert bell shows CryoGyro went west, to B7—two moves away, assuming CryoGyro doesn't move towards them...! like Blizihguh, they check The Editor's tile, only to find she has vacated. after a little reshuffle of equipment, they head north-west

CryoGyro finds himself alone on B7, and immediately heads north-east. uh-oh...!

cycle 37

Blizihguh still cannot catch a break, running into Administrator after Administrator. it's maybe somewhat ironic that he is dealing with the fallout of everyone else messing with keys and locks, and just keeps bumping into them, but perhaps this is karma for all of his evil. he should count himself lucky—on fleeing he sustains attacks of opportunity, but only from the trolls. they do both get a hit on him, though, and poison him

DVT arrive at D5, and it is vacant. a ring of their bell and a scan of the surrounding tiles tells them they are alone, so in theory all is well. they use key "ST-TDC", key number three, and unlock the lock here. two down, two to go. they head south-east

CryoGyro and GGG bump into one another at B6. The Last Moderator is nowhere to be found, now. CryoGyro senses what's up, and turns to flee, but not before Albatross and xzern can land attacks on him. his Reply Button leaves them both 2HP worse off. GGG try to suss out a good direction to pursue with their bell (no hits), and their Search Lens:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is C6.

It is extremely cold here—the tiles here are frosted over, and a light snow falls.

There is an administrator here.

they resolve to head north-east—same as CryoGyro

cycle 38

​

another ring of tiles rendered unstable. by now players will surely be aware that the playable area will only shrink farther. dream is collapsing

You have arrived at B5.

You regained 1 HP from your ring.

This whole chamber is quaking violently, and debris falls. You cannot stay here.

There is a chest here, but it is empty.

Albatross, ashelyDeluxe, and xzern are here.

There is a post here:

​

dammit, someone's already been here b4....... wait this is b5 my joke doesn't even work​

There is also a link here:

D6​

our first look at an unstable tile. apologies; the first post's link here is broken

CryoGyro opts to escape via the hyperlink to D6, and GGG follow suit

Blizihguh arrives at D2, and finally has a chance to rest to heal up. his Alert Bell shows no sign of neighbours, but he does manage to to catch a glimpse of an Administrator at The Last Moderator's old haunt, on the heels of GGG:

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is B6.

There is an administrator here.

There are fallen leaves scattered around.

DVT arrive at E5, home of lock number four. their last key fits this lock, but they resolve not to use it in case the other keyholder (whomever they may be) steals the win. their Alert Bell shows no neighbours, and most of their searches show them as all alone, but not all:

You peer into the Search Lenses...

This is D4.

The spent lock is here.

There is an administrator here.

uh oh

uh oh indeed, but with the admin at least two moves away, the gang resolve to rest. this is safer than it seems, as each admin corresponds to a key, but also to a lock—with each lock they have unlocked, they have also eliminated an admin. the other is still far off to the south-east, juked by GGG's teleporting via the hyperlink

cycle 39
on D2, Blizihguh resolves to rest again, and spies DVT in his Search Lens...

no-one else arrives to join them, so DVT ring their bell and get a ping to the west:

OH BOY OH BOY

it's GGG and CryoGyro, of course, run into one another again. this confuses DVT who seem to think they are just travelling together. of course, this isn't the case. DVT, GGG, and CryoGyro all choose to head to D5. DVT will narrowly dodge the Administrator for key 4 doing so

cycle 40

now back to full hp but just one rest off clearing his poison, Blizihguh scans D5...

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is D5.

There is a strange device here, set into the floor.

Albatross, ashelyDeluxe, xzern, Drifting, Voltage, ThatOneSpork, and CryoGyro are here.

Actions
[Hyperlink] - Create a link from this location to another of your choosing (eg "A2"). Will destroy your Blue Ink.
[Post] - Inscribe a message at your current location for others to view (include your message).
[Ring] - Detect players in adjacent tiles.
THEN
End cycle
[Move] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE. You will take 1 damage for moving while poisoned!
OR
[Travel] - Travel via hyperlink to D5.

Please select your action(s).

... and it's the motherlode—every single other player still in the game

OH NO I don't like this lmao

I think I'll swap the mask for the armor and follow the link through D5. Going undercover on a reconnaissance mission

(woah, the demasking. okay, you got it)

this demasking to show as a normal player was always on the cards for wielders of the Mask of Alt. it unfortunately didn't create any funny shenanigans, but i appreciated the thought, even so late in the game

the fight on D5 will be the climactic kingmaker of the game; its two most powerful (and only remaining) parties duking it out. perhaps amusingly, DVT, who are in arguably the strongest position here, are the most hesitant to fight. but perhaps that attitude is why they are in the strongest position after all

talking would be a monumentally stupid decision, either we're going all in or we're bookmarking out

Right, I agree, but I don't want to randomly swing unless we're one-hundred percent sure of who we're attacking and why. If they didn't shuffle the person who has the key, alba probably has it so we could attack there first and whatnot. Cryo being there is just a real big hassle and I don't want to allude that we have the final key, since I know one of the keys is in this party party of ashely, alba and xzern.

IMO IF we attack, we attack alba or ashely since we saw them on the initial swing with the top key. Attacking xzern is an option, but it's a little less fruitful imo since I'm decently confident they don't have thekey. Attacking Cryo feels like attacking a neutral party and we can at least hope that the one non-partied member doesn't immediately know what to do, and it leaves us open to he other three's immediate attack plus Cryo's attack. If we don't attack, we don't have a good way to break the four of them all up, so it would probably be fruitless without some interaction.

Unfortunately, once we swing, we have an appeared numbers disadvantage, so we'd have to hope we get REALLY lucky with our rolls.

And once we swing, it's gotta be all of us attacking one specific target to get an immediate KO without revealing our redirect/quote combo. I think that if we WERE to pick the right target with some luck, we could definitely infinity win again, but we just have to decide who we're piling onto

that's just my take on this rn

I am a bit scared of cryo, though I still think our best choice is to attack and see where we are after that. If we don't feel confident, we should be able to bookmark out after the first turn. As for your thoughts on who has the key, I see no problem with your reasoning. It could have been switched around, sure, but we can't account for that so we just have to go off of our best info. I'd absolutely redirect over attack btw, negating someone's damage is massive. Hopefully, we can redirect the strong one but if not then we can redirect them both next turn should we decide to stay.

after the first round of combat, CryoGyro makes their escape:

Speed tie:
Albatross: 1d6 = 6
xzern: 1d6 = 1
Voltage: 1d6 = 3
ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 4

Drifting produces their Redirect Page and shows it to Albatross.

In response, Albatross veers off from their beeline for Drifting, and instead takes a swing at xzern!

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Still reeling from the attack, xzern promptly slaps Voltage with a Sticky Note. Voltage can no longer flee!

Perhaps in retaliation, Voltage turns on xzern, now, and attacks!

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 2 + 1 (Attack Bonus) - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Burn chance: 1d2 = 1

... Twice.

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 2 + 1 (Attack Bonus) - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Burn chance: 1d2 = 1

ThatOneSpork joins in, wielding their pushpin to strike at xzern!

Shimmering Pushpin
3 = 3 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 2

Under this continuous onslaught, xzern finally falls down, defeated.

ashelyDeluxe brandishes her knife at Drifting, and attacks!

Scraper Knife
1d2-3 = 2 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 1

... The blow lands, but not without cost—ashelyDeluxe has been poisoned by Drifting's Spam Mail.

After the savage beating of xzern, you take the opportunity to flee.

xzern, however, will never escape this place.

They done fucked up

in another round, Albatross, too, is gone:

Speed tie:
Albatross: 1d6 = 6
Voltage: 1d6 = 1
ThatOneSpork: 1d6 = 2

Drifting produces the Redirect Page again, this time showing it to ashelyDeluxe.

ashelyDeluxe produces her own Redirect Page to show to Voltage, but is instead redirected to redirect herself to redirect herself to redirect herself to redirect herself...

Albatross hurls her needle at Drifting again, this time unimpeded!

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 4 - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 3

It's a fearsome blow, but Albatross is subsequently poisoned!

ThatOneSpork then produces their Quote Bubble, and a shimmer portal to a previous time appears:


... Only instead of striking the late xzern, this past Albatross strikes the present one!

Finally, Voltage lobs their needle at Albatross... Twice!

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 4 + 1 (Attack Bonus) - 1 (Defence Bonus) = 3

Burn chance: 1d2 = 2

Albatross is burned by Voltage's Hot Pepper!

Refined Needle & Thread
1d2-4 = 3 + 1 (Attack Bonus) - 1 (Defence Bonus) + 1 (Burn bonus) = 4

Her goose truly cooked, Albatross falls down, defeated.

Albatross: 0/10 HP
ashelyDeluxe: 10/10 HP, Frozen, Poisoned
xzern: 0/10 HP

and ashely is soon to follow

DVT pick the bones of GGG and share a pool of 82 Likes, but the only item worth mentioning is no doubt the one they were hoping to find:

[Mysterious Key]
It bears an inscription:
"RMT-SS"

with that key in hand and the only other party that could stand against them dead and buried, DVT are riding high

[POST] hi, it's phive. we killed alba, ashely, and xzern. peace and love and don't get in our way

... of course, there is still one last Administrator to contend with

You peer into the Search Lens...

This is E5.

There is a lock here.

What remains of BIG ASHLEY is here.

There is an administrator here.

oh shit lol rip

they deliberate at length over how to proceed, and have an inventory reshuffle, but resolve to create a new hyperlink to E4 in order to juke the admin. it's a pretty solid plan, as the admins can't follow links, and even if they could they would still be one step ahead of their pursuer

cycle 41

CryoGyro arrives at E4, where all is eerily quiet

It is Cycle 41.

You have arrived at D5.

There is a strange device here, set into the floor.

The remains of Albatross, ashelyDeluxe, and xzern are here.

There are two Administrators here.

It would be best to run.

There are posts here:

If you are cool come meet me at D4​

​

key required, therefore try key​

hi, it's phive. we killed alba, ashely, and xzern. peace and love and don't get in our way​

There is also a link here:

E4​

Actions
[Attack] - Engage in combat with your equipped weapon. Select a target: Administrator 1, Administrator 2
OR
End cycle
[Flee] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE. You may be subject to an attack!
OR
[Travel] - Travel via hyperlink to a new location: E4.

Please select your action(s).

Blizihguh, back in bird form(tm) for the first time in tens of cycles, continues their streak of atrocious luck, bumping into the last two remaining Administrators... and a pile of bones

DVT arrive at E4, and there's no reason now not to get to unlocking. so they do, using key "RMT-SS". their Alert Bell also shows hits west and north-west, giving them the definite locations of the only remaining two players in the game

cycle 42

the final cycle

only the central four squares (the ones with the locks), are safe, now. CryoGyro and Blizihguh in theory might have had one last cycle to band together in a last ditch attempt here, somehow, but the intel difference alone is enormous, let alone the gap in gear and numbers.

CryoGyro is just behind DVT at E4, and bears witness to their grim handiwork

Blizihguh is lost at sea, and one last time bumps into an admin—the last Administrator—at D4

You have arrived at E5.

There is a lock here.

The remains of BIG ASHLEY are here.

There are posts here:

going to investigate this box. i sure do hope earl doesn't murder me!​

Any cube understanders get whats going on here?​

bumping this to say that earl did not kill me... how nice of him!​

earl was here.​

my one regret is that i have boneitis​

what the fuck...​

bumping this to say that cryogyro killed me​

2 down, 2 to go suckers​

(two iconic notes play)​

Actions
[Hyperlink] - Create a link from this location to another of your choosing (eg "A2"). Will destroy your Blue Ink.
[Manage Inventory] - Swap items, equipment, etc.
[Post] - Inscribe a message at your current location for others to view (include your message).
[Ring] - Ring the Alert Bell to detect players in adjacent tiles.
[Search] - Choose a map location to view. (eg "G5")
[Use Key] - Use a key in the lock. Select a key: B101-FDL
THEN
End cycle
[Move] - Choose a direction in which to travel: NW, NE, SW, SE
OR
[Rest] - Remain at this location until the next cycle. You will regain 1 HP per cycle spent resting.
OR
[Return] - Return to a location you have previously marked: E4.

Please elect your action(s).

... and DVT arrive at E5, with just the lock and the sad lonely remains of BIG ASHLEY to greet them. there's nothing to do now but give the posts here one final look, and insert the last key

i'll let the last couple of interactions here play out—you all know the winners

[Use Key] B101-FDL

[Post] GG, and thank you Todd for the great experience

You insert the final key into the lock...

When the chamber stops moving, this lock like the others before it has become set into the ground, and the key is gone.

There is quiet, for a moment. It is just the three of you here, and the corpse of BIG ASHLEY.

... Then the chamber begins to move again, not quaking violently from side to side, now, but descending, steadily, with purpose...

*vibrating with motion*

NGL, I'm just glad I didn't die first, that was a big stress factor for me. this was pretty neat. I'm looking forward to seeing how this all concludes

Same here, hopefully all goes well.

wait have I been shirtless this whole fucking time

It makes you sexier if we're being quite honest.

On, and on, and on, the platform descends. The din of the other chambers collapsing above you eventually sinks to nothing more than a hum, and then is entirely inaudible.

The dim light above you also fades—a square that shrinks, and shrinks, and shrinks. Nothing else seems to change, so it becomes the only thing to focus on. You keep a weather eye out, in case of anything from above.

Nothing falls down after you, and if a latecomer meant to hop down and hitch a ride, that opportunity has long since passed.

... And so you descend, in silence. The three of you, and a corpse.

... Until finally the platform comes to a rest, not with a great crashing of stone, but instead gently easing into a rest at the bottom of this deep, deep shaft. It was always meant to be here, and so were you.

You leave the chamber behind, the chamber that once was E5, the lock, and the remains of BIG ASHLEY. She has come this far, but in order to claim what awaits you, she must be left behind.

You travel along a narrow passageway with precious little light. The Redirect Pages allow you to bounce what little ambient light there is here, but even that eventually diminishes.

Just when you begin to despair at the seemingly endless trek, with only the touch of your fingertips against the cold walls here to let you know you are not simply lost to the void, you see something up ahead—a dim light, at first, and then a soft one, and then a warm one.

The closer you get, the better you can see, until finally you find yourselves emerging into a chamber filled with the bright, warm colours of reacts, blooming as far as the eye can see, stashed away here in great piles. There are more Likes, Luvdiscs, Hahas, Sads, and Wows than any one person could ever need.

... But that was not the prize you set out on this quest to claim. No, your prize sits in the middle of the chamber.

The Posting Points, hoarded here, locked away by one of Smogoff's ancient emperors, now long dead.

There is no-one here to challenge you for these, and now no doubt of their existence.

Smogoff's fabled Posting Points are yours.

Your party is victorious!

ok, this is epic

this rules, great work team!!!!!!

We are officially the best! Hallelujah!

 

[az]

test

anyone else lagging?

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

az, i just wanted to say thank you (again? did i say thank you at the time? probably not. if this game proved anything it's that i'm a) terrible at communicating & b) a dick, albeit an inept dick) for running this. it was an absolute blast, even when you killed me you prick, and seeing how everything had been unfolding all along in your excellent postgame writeup has been a lovely addition.

the lore you created/implied throughout the toddpg was rly interesting & i could tell you were having a lot of fun with it. (not so much the player interactions maybe...?)

i'd love to say "toddpg 2 when???" but it seems like toddpg 1 was quite exhausting emotionally and interpersonally for you so i shan't say that.

the delay in posting the conclusion is very funny now that it is over!

congraulations again to deepveinthrombosis (the vastly inferior party, but nvm) for winning. i like that, in a way, i sort of won, with my skeletal remains dogging them until the end. that feels right to me.

[the final paragraph of this post will be released in 2027]

 

[CryoGyro]

Hide

 

[Blizihguh]

God, has it been two years? Crazy to think how much life has changed since toddpg, probably not because of toddpg but we can't rule it out.

Thank you so much for running what was obviously an extremely high-effort game, it was a blast and honestly felt special to be a part of. Especially after reading the postgame notes and seeing how people thought we were NPCs (which I probably could have assumed!), it felt like we left a mark on this very cool shared experience. And given what that mark was, being chased around in the dark, alone, by grim reapers for ten turns was probably a fitting end for my story, lol.

I also want to say "toddpg 2 when???" but for the sake of your own sanity please get someone else to help if you ever desire to do it again, I can't imagine how much time this must have taken.

 

[Ivy]

 

[earl]

God, has it been two years? Crazy to think how much life has changed since toddpg, probably not because of toddpg but we can't rule it out.

Thank you so much for running what was obviously an extremely high-effort game, it was a blast and honestly felt special to be a part of. Especially after reading the postgame notes and seeing how people thought we were NPCs (which I probably could have assumed!), it felt like we left a mark on this very cool shared experience. And given what that mark was, being chased around in the dark, alone, by grim reapers for ten turns was probably a fitting end for my story, lol.

I also want to say "toddpg 2 when???" but for the sake of your own sanity please get someone else to help if you ever desire to do it again, I can't imagine how much time this must have taken.

it was so fun being evil. and i must reiterate that our trust in each other was absolute, unlike every other party