1. Never turn down free food (usually).
2. Know your audience.
3. True virtue lies in the middle.
4. Always be a kid at heart and an adult in your mind.
5. The friendship is (usually) more important than the argument.
6. Never say more to the other person than you are getting back from them, it probably means you're getting trolled.
7. Be good at something, it makes you valuable.
8. Never make big statements lightly.
9. Honesty without empathy is meaningless. Empathy without honesty is meaningless.
10. Fair isn't always equal.
11. An unexamined life is not worth living.
12. I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
13. Always be prepared to answer the question: "Who gives a shit?"
14. If for no other reason, get an education to understand more jokes.
15. Being quiet in front of people means you're just complaining later.
16. Disappointment is better than uncertainty.
17. Be an expert in one thing, be literate in all things.
18. Use humility to turn envy into inspiration.
19. Sometimes, honesty can be selfish.
20. Hold onto your dream but let go of how it happens.