oh, and about your suicide crap, don't even try. It aint worth it...
Unless you physically assault them, you won't need to be worried about the therapist's well-being. I've been in an ever-constant depression since about 08, and despite me still contemplating, planning, and scheming. I am able to look from an external point of view. What comes after death? For how can the conscious mind know when it ceases to be? Death is the end. I'm not religious, so all I can say is, enjoy the time here while you still have it, because once your gone, your gone...
and you don't need to end your life now, because the universe will do it for you when the time is right, living to old age, past the expiry date...