Your real life name is nothing to be ashamed of. As I've said, I quite like it. It's part of your heritage and your identity, so you ought to embrace it!
As for smogon and your actual life intersecting, well, that's pretty much what happens when you friend smogon people on facebook.... sorry to say that. But you shouldn't be too worried-- after all, you're an awesome person in real life. You just need to come out of your shell a little and stop letting the assholes get to you so much.