SPL X - Commencement Thread

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HELP LL PAY HIS BET!

A few weeks prior to the SPL draft on Saturday, LL offered me a $50 bet that both he would get drafted to SPL, AND I would not. While neither of us got picked up this year, LL still owes me $50 as a result of this bet - but he now refuses to pay up.
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While LL may have told some of you that nobody had to pay if neither of us got drafted, this screenshot clearly says otherwise as we specifically clarified the rules of this bet.
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When I approached LL after the draft, this is all he said to me:

[17:57:34] +LL: i got snaked
[17:57:37] +LL: by reyscarfag

I gave him a few days since he was clearly upset about the result of the auction, but now he has shown clear intent of not paying his end of the bet.

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Apparently this reasoning was "obvious", but to help LL out, I've started a GoFundMe:

Help LL Pay His Bet to Durza

But that's not all! As an incentive, part of the proceeds will go to buying and shipping LL his very own Dragonspiral Tyrants T-Shirt from the SPL Store so he can proudly support the team that "promised" to buy him!

Donate Today: https://www.gofundme.com/help-ll-pay-his-bet-to-durza​
 
Real talk- LL got snaked by this team and said he was gonna quit mons. Then, the very same team invited him to his discord and he’s like “nvm I’m back Tyrants chat is lit”. So, he’s gonna do whatever he can or feels like doing to help this team that snaked him from officially being on the team.

Dunno about this one chief, sounds like the ultimate cuckage
 
And I will be the one to save it, young Marco.

Since all of these experienced players have been chiming in to support their own tier, I decided it was only fair to do the same for managers (and their teams) as I no longer have any experience in any tier. W A S H E D

Alpha Ruiners - Chill shadow + snaga

This team is the obligatory "diversity hire" of SPL. Each year, in order to prove that lower tier lives matter (they don't), the TDs select a team of 2 lower tier players to put in charge of a SPL team. While they fail every year to make playoffs, it boosts the overall morale of lower tier communities to see themselves in the drivers seat. This diversity hire is exquisite, if I do say so myself. You have basically every lower tier covered with this combination hire, and I am sure Smogon PR reps will be pleased that we have taken this monumental step forward by employing a token-UU/RU/NU megamix. The team itself, however, will suffer greatly from their inability to communicate thought patterns more complicated than "double switch here," or "an odd number hits a Stealth Rock #."

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Circus Maximus Tigers - tennisace + Sam

For some reason, I am helping out the Tigers this year. In an effort to keep up team morale, I will refrain from any hard jabs or insults. I thoroughly believe that this team has potential this season as the obligatory "dream team" where bonds of friendship are stronger than each individual's record. To save Sam's public image from becoming further damaged after the Latias fiasco, Tennisace has elected to take all the blame for this team losing in the case of a last place finish, which at the very least is probable. Next time, try not to draft a ROAPL team, and also make sure Eternal Spirit recognizes the difference between the in-game Showdown timer and the draft timer!

Congregation of the Classiest - Z0mOG + Eo

After swiftly beating Finchinator in Smogon Tour finals, Z0mOG decided to cuck Finch further by purchasing him in SPL. These two are the epitome of "bold and brash." One probably has very little idea of what's going on (see: putting Beds and Finch on the same team), and the other is left scratching their head at how they will be able to salvage the draft. To be honest, this team isn't that bad. Finch is the only player who exceeds ABR in CPU usage daily, and apparently Earthworm promises to be motivated this SPL.

Cryonicles - teal6 + August

Oh boy. ABR's fist is going to be so far up their mutual asses that teal is going to be fist-fed cocaine, and august is going to have to inhale through his nose. On the off-chance that these guys aren't committing a felony at any given moment, this team should run just fine with these two out of the drivers seat. I guess QQ couldn't complain enough in TD chat to prevent this one from happening. All things considered, if this team doesn't collapse within the first 3 weeks by activity losses, I will seriously be in shock. You already lost your ADV player, and it's only a matter of time before Malekith rage quits because you didn't allow him to use that nifty new HP Grass Swampert set. All we can hope for is the old adage to be true; the devil works hard, but ABR works harder.

Dragonspiral Tyrants - Hogg + reyscarface

These two guys had a good team last year, but this year they mutually decided to draft a team of a) suicidal players who will quit after going 0-2, and b) people who have a lot better things to do with Pokemon than play SPL. I guess you guys really wanted to appease blunder, because getting Hogg to cave and buy a literal Nazi must be a big punch in the ideological gut for him. This team is the literal definition of a glass cannon; the collective ability for this team to recover from any slight inconvenience is in the literal negatives. In the case of flaking, you have nobody to even substitute in. We Three Kings better be ready to slave away day and night, because without him and external help I will genuinely be shocked if this team is able to enter the playing field with a fully EV'd team.

I have a lot of respect for both of these managers on the field. But without TDK to instruct rey, and without Omfuga to slob on Hogg, will this team have the morale to survive past their first loss?

Ever Grande BIGS - Stone_Cold + Windsong

I don't think this counts as a diversity hire, but this is as pretty damn close to a vote-in manager duo as you can get. Stone_Cold is a very good father figure, and once told me "you don't need a team of all-stars in order to win a big tournament, just a few motivated players." I now see that this ethos was evident in his drafting method, deciding that Cdumas and FLCL were their star players. After recent events, Stone is going to have to decide whether he wants to respect his own players more, or ABR. Can't wait for xray vs the Cryos!

Windsong is another fan-favorite, having shown that he is able to pick up lower tiers with ease and consistently play them even in recent tournaments. This accomplishment implies that he is at least able to comprehend double switching and second level prediction, so if he can pass those skills on to his own lower tier players this team should be able to squeeze by. Let's just hope this team doesn't choke literally every single game they play, or refuse to talk to one another because they are each in "opposing jerks."

Indie Scooters - Philip7086 + FlamingVictini

Another team that probably could count as a diversity hire, but this time it's actually a pretty good one. In this year's iteration of Ojama + friends, we see a bit more of an oddball lineup than I expected. The amount of players that willingly worship you and call you the "kingpin" is a bit lower this year than normal, so I hope that doesn't mess up your self-esteem too much. At least you still have one loyal pet, who surely will perform well this year under your guidance.

I think Phil and FV are a pretty solid duo. Phil is one of the few players who is not washed up yet has a pre-2015 join date, and FV is about as dedicated to playing Pokemon as he is to College Applications.

Just kidding LOL you guys play Pokemon Go. 37,404? 36,809? You guys will probably end up dedicating more time to finding which tree Turtwig is behind than looking over your players' teams. Ojama, you better be ready to work more on SPL this season than schoolwork, but hey, at least Med School in France is about as easy as ghosting is right?

Stark Sharks - M Dragon + Analytic

I don't think I have ever seen a player sign up to be ghosted as a manager.

Team Raiders - Kaori + Gondra

You know, all in all you guys got away with a pretty good draft. While this team will collapse within the first week because of team selection, in the meantime I am sure you will all have a good time with each other's company. I do feel bad for SoulWind though. By now, he's probably already been tagged as "virgin" 100 times, and BKC has already grandstanded about "not helping this mess of a team" at least twice, before caving. Not sure how either of these two expect to control any of their players, but at least until the season starts they can enjoy the chaos. I guess Gondra can kick roscoe from the chat this time around?

Wi-Fi Wolfpack - Tony + col49

You know, these two guys are actually pretty good at managing. After I beat Tony's confidence in playing below sea level in SPL 8, he retreated to a managerial position for the rest of his life on Smogon. Rather than wasting time on building teams, he studied the spreadsheets and drafted an immaculate team of SPL Finalists that just can't seem to win. This year's Raiders, these guys are destined to reach finals just to lose. col49 will log on once in awhile to say something "witty" and then disappear for the rest of the week, leaving their lower tiers to TDK's discretion. Tony will at least be smart enough to draft a team of "helpers" that sit in the team chat all season to aid in the team's weak spots. I expect this team to grow to 25 members by the end of the regular season.
 
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