BEFORE WE START W OF THE WEEK!
SV: happysh vs DripLegend - 2 of the 4 sv 1v1 mainers in existence MATCHED UP BABY! this should probably be bo7 but thank god we have giboney and blanched there. hijo de giboney, puedas ganar contra driplegend? desafortunadamente, aaron en cuatro. i dont speak italian
YEP!
SV Bo7: bo_bobson27 vs Blanched - can't wait for this game to be played on sunday night and not matter because the horrors lost POGGERS! does giboney sabotage his team on purpose for the sole reason of bolstering his record? optimal statpadding GIBONEY IN SIX
yeah we fuckin got it in 6
STANDINGS CHECK:
the sheep have been sheared and 3 teams are all but gone from the tour. we're shocked and bewildered and def did not predict this from week 2. unfortunately the horrors, pults, and heatrans have won a week each five weeks in. the megarays blew a 4-1 lead (again) bringing them to behind the rps somehow?? who cares they're playing each other in playoffs anyway. this week is kinda filler for the thwackeys because they continue to receive the fourth seed by default as drip heroically won a sunday game for the first time (sv bo5 vs happysh). the panchams are hot on their tail after stunningly clawing their way back against the aforementioned megasaturdays. both of these teams gave points to the heatrans somehow. idk if i personally watched any of the skewdas games but they steamrolled some team and are the first seed i guess. the only real narrative to here is battle of who gets to lose in semis. kaif statpaddding in oldgens hype! free litt. tenzhii has a better record than delemon. the jadburgs having the same numba of points as the thwackeys is very interesting, especially considering the thwackeys needed a
Mishlef Moonblast Miracle (MMM) to win a game 7.
CROW CRUMBS' CASHAPP IS "eblurb" if u guys want some free wins :D @thwackeys
i lost the card btw :c
Cooled-off Camerupts (3) vs
(4) Sussy Shuppets 
SV Bo7: Indi01 vs
bo_bobson27 - indi in bo7 is like bronny being drafted and forced to play in the nba by his dad. he might have some good moments tho. dude giboney you fumbled making happysh play game 8 vs driplegend no 1v1 new player is winning that in existence. even tho we told u to stop statpadding meaningless games u should have had a psychic vision and known that the week wouldn't be over by the last game this week. Gn tho horrors!
SV: Akuu vs
happysh - happysh if you lose this week im out on you my dawg
SV:
Nick vs lost heros - IT'S WEEK SIX AND THESE TWO STARTERS ARE A COMBINED 1-9! PANIC METER MANAGERS: THE BATTLE. nick is definitely the type to lose to lost heros.
SS Bo7: RTM vs
lolebruh - rtm finally makes his debut in SS Bo7 after going 1-4 in sv, meanwhile lolebruh if he doesn't get subbed up puts up a respectable 1-2. both of these players are a combined 35.5k ):
almost enough to sustain yourself for a year in canada! (please lower the housing prices)
SS:
stravench vs LemonLime78 - not gonna lie strav i almost crossed this matchup out. as a wise man once said:
"there's levels to this ass"
SM:
Sanshokuinsumireko vs Felucia - sansho is like the best player in the sm pool apparently? with no swag? np dont need that shit. he defeated the jr troopa
of sm in elo bandit
ORAS:
Mubs vs SEROO - mubs in 4! mubs in 4!
BW: PA
vs AlyssaVGC - 2 titans of the bw metagame. it's time to see who will finally emerge as the not objectively worst bw player in the pool. hl matchup!!
overall: this matchup is the 1v1 equivlent of two tanking teams trying to lose at the end of the season. i hope the loser gets cooper flagg, these
[REDACTED] teams
that tried their best and came so close n_n need a superstar! giboney (cade cunningham) aint cutting it
The Semifinals Steenees (3) vs
(4) RPS Scizors 
SV Bo7:
neomon vs Lumii - I LOVE PLAYERS WHO DROP TO 90 SECONDS AND THEN CLICK THE SAFE MON!!!! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
better than dropping to 10 Whatchu got against giboney lil bro?
well he drops to 10 a lot look at his record bro same as eblurb
SV: LongRat
vs Murm - INTENSE BATTLE OF MID! This is like world 2 blooper vs cheep cheep may the better regidrago wielder win I guess
SV: Slip vs
Kala chasmah - Slip sometimes looks like god (beats nuxl and drip) and then gets dumpstered by some bullshit the next week. Unfortunately I feel like the reverse gatekeeper will not have luck against the schrodingers [redacted] Kala in 4
SS Bo7:
luser vs Here Comes Team Charm! - luser lost massive aura last week when he rfnd and got executed by close, but it's clear that it's still enough to clear hctc in 5
SS:
glitched vs ihbst - um.. what the frog? did you predict that at the beginning of the season that both of these slots would end up 1-4? Apparently all the ss2 aura has been sapped by aliss and rudi leaving no room for the rest of the world. if glitched doesn't get so eepy and oversleepy then maybe she'll get the victoreepy :3
SM: Iron Crusher vs
Elo Bandit - two sm geezers, all we need is an uberlandon21 to act as the flint to the obsidian and we can unlock some good sm games.
ORAS: torterraxx vs
Synonimous - "i cant find any aura in this battle" - anonymous dragapult overperformer. ea's losses have been pretty unexpected 3-0s.
BW (IRONPERSON 1v1 HYPE!): Palestine vs dreepy -
i got genghis.
OVERALL: for both of these teams it's a trial of semis and some weird slotting. marshmelto definitely deserves to be benched after losing out on wins twice in a row but he'll probably be back for playoffs. can the megarays win games on sunday or nah? let's find out
The Complacent Crawdaunts (4)
vs (4) Mental-Boom Orangurus
SV Bo7:
eblurb vs Blanched - unfortunately emil looks like a viable player this tour even without uncle william by his side.
SV: Nuxl vs
DripLegend - :biheart: i heard being positive in sv gets hella taps on a certain mobile app
SV:
Fancy1 vs Miyoko - josh giddey been balling in the olympics, fancy undefeated. coincidence? battle of the 3k demons
SS Bo7: crow crumbs vs
Mishlef -
much like bigfatmantis vs heysup i think u could give mishlef a mega kanga
in ss and he would still find a way to lose. anyways max in six.
i believe in u owen!!
SS:
Aliss vs xdRudi.exe - alice the gatekeeper will not drop the ironperson run to ecks dee rudi dot exe.
SM: Rellia vs
Waylaid - riley has actually had a horrible tour. he literally got 3-0ed by felucia last week. however the gabbster has had some unfortunate losses too, getting 3-0ed by krytocon last week. one of them has to win and i think it will be the one who wants it more. skewdas gettin complacent! (victim of this: panchams)
ORAS:
Inkreativ vs Irene - skewdas have solved their oras slot by punting up on normal human prep and loading program teams. i'm not counting on irene to load a thundurus-therian (#1 counter to program teams).
BW: Taka vs
LpZ - taka excellently brought rocky helmet gyarados to defeat dougs final endeavor for the pults bw slot
someone please tell taka that hp flying is super effective on sceptile — fortunately for lpz i think he knows the type chart
OVERALL: why do u guys always just predict us to lose for fun every week like we literally got predicted 1-6 vs dragapults for no reason. realistically the skewdas are gonna donate points to the thwackeys just like every other team seems to enjoy doing i guess.
the skewdas 6-2d the pults just like last year, which means their score against every team has remained consistent with pl7 except for an extra win against the panchams. the scales 
must balance over the next two weeks so they will either 4-4 the thwackeys or 5-3 the horrors
Baddie Bruxishes (3) vs
(5) Chucking-up Cubchoos 
SV Bo7:
delemon vs LittEleven - after litt's burnout in oras he has been tossed to the wolves (Worse record than lonzo btw) while kaif reese completes some side quests to get back to a double double (.500) on the tour. he doesnt deserve this : (
SV: bern vs
Vertigo - bern.jesus has unfortunately doomed this series to a blowout by accusing the other team of attempting to rig matchups and then ego-agreeing anyway ?_? putting aside the Eli Zelenskyy stone edge incident last week this just isn't something you do. Anyone on this pad see The Irishman? You do this you die type shit.
I haven't seen a single jules series btw :3
SV:
rumia vs
Bea - dude after discussing with lonzo how the rumia sv expiriment was a failiure they told me that rumia was finally in sm. however rumia is LICHERALLY still in sv for no reason #whatthefrog you know you're a desperate team when you deservedly bench someone, then like 4 weeks later unbench them out of sheer neccessity.
SS Bo7: zo vs
Close - if u told me this would be a battle of titans and zo would have the better record going into this, i'd be shocked. tenzhii does need an ego check as they fashion themselves as dragapults shining light in the darkness so close in 5.
SS:
Bomb21XD vs feen - only avengers level cteamers like linux user and dreamcatcher can beat this titan (bomb was benched for 4 weeks btw)
SM:
Kry vs Freddy Kyogre - freddy randomly almost beat bandit but got haxed while kry lookin pretty decent this tour. Kry about to take another because the panchams need to win 5-3 in a nail biter according to the script and this just makes the most sense out of the non delemon players
ORAS: SwordIsBored vs
Kaif Do you guys remember that episode of the black and white anime when ash's level 300 pikachu gets dumpstered by a snivy off the rip only knowing tackle? Yeah kaif got this. dude why is sword still playing oras LMAO
BW: ZackPalace vs
QWILY someone who gets ghosted for tests by his team vs suspected ghost slot yeah we know who got dis
DRAGAPULTS BW SLOT (GIBONEY APPROVED)
OVERALL: this week is fake important since pults aren't fully out and panchams are allegedly competing for playoffs still. at this point everyone's just playing for record and personal glory. swordisboard road to 2-5 oh yeah
Hellfire Heatrans (3) vs (5) Hyperspace Horrors 
Metro Boomin' Megarays (4) vs (4) RPS Rhyperiors 
Drive-by Dragapults (3) vs (5) Playful Panchams 
