A Classy Team for a Classless Guy (Suspect RMT)

I decided to make a team for laddering on the suspect ladder with the absence of Salamence. This is quite simply an offensive team. It is not the most original team, nor the greatest, but, for the most part, it gets the job done. Overall, I've been very happy with the performance of this team, keeping me at a decent Rating and CRE on the Suspect ladder. I have a few problems with determined threats and that is the reason for this RMT. yay.

Team at a glance

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Classy!

In depth:

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Gliscor (M) @ Expert Belt
Ability: Hyper Cutter
EVs: 40 HP/252 Atk/216 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
- Stealth Rock
- Earthquake
- U-turn
- Stone Edge

Gliscor was chosen as a lead because of the fact that it has very few bad match ups and it has good synergy with the rest of the team. The EVs are bog standard, outspeeding Lucario and other such threats if need be. The choice of moves and item is a little weird, however, so let me explain. Expert Belt gives Earthquake the ability to KO ShucaTran leads, which is great for opening momentum and gets me up 6-5 unexpectedly and quickly. Stone Edge was chosen over Roost because the risk of DDNite or DDGyara setting up on me is much higher than that of checking Lucario, who has very few opportunities to set up. U-Turn was also chosen over Roost so I can easily ruin Focus Sash leads, damage Celebi, or gain momentum. Momentum is key for a team like mine, which has very few bulky Pokemon. Lastly, Stealth Rock is obvious and crucial in the metagame as you all know.

Quick lead match ups (Green is good, red is bad, blue is neutral.):

Azelf - U-Turn to ScarfApe as they Taunt/Psychic/Stealth Rock. Easy kill. I don't mind Gliscor taking a hit and Stealth Rock can be spun away later.
Aerodactyl - U-Turn to Starmie to break its sash and cause some damage with LO Hydro Pump.
Anti-Lead Starmie - Switch to my Starmie, then Jolteon. I'm taking damage here no matter what happens.
Roserade - Earthquake as they sleep me. Stealth Rock until I wake up and U-Turn when I do. I don't mind sacking Gliscor to Leaf Storm if need be. If they set up T-Spikes, I can spin them away with Starmie.
Smeargle - Same as Roserade.
Anti-Lead Machamp - Stealth Rock as they either KO me or hit me hard. Machamp is pretty bad for this team; I just need to sack things until I can kill it.
Swampert - U-Turn to Starmie to scare it out and hit something hard.
Metagross - Earthquake. It can't do anything to me bar Explosion.
Shuca Heatran - Easy kill unless they invest EVs defensively.
Infernape - I often risk an Earthquake or U-Turn while they do SOMETHING. Sometimes I die, sometimes they set up SR. I could switch to Starmie, but I'd rather not let it have to break a Focus Sash and lose so much health doing so.
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Infernape (M) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Blaze
EVs: 40 HP/252 Atk/216 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
- Close Combat
- Flare Blitz
- U-turn
- Stone Edge

Infernape is the team's revenge killer and also a late game sweeper. U-Turn is great, doing some real damage to Starmie switch-ins and giving me momentum on any other kind of switch-in. Killing lead Azelf for free is great. I chose a full physical set in order to do maximum damage with U-Turn and Close Combat, though mixed may be necessary. I'm not exactly sure. Stone Edge kills weakened Gyarados and Dragonite, though doesn't kill them always, which is a major problem. EVs chosen give me the ability to outspeed ScarfFlygon or Jirachi or even a +1 Mence if I take this team to standard. There isn't really anything else to this set. Moving along...

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Dragonite (M) @ Life Orb
Ability: Inner Focus
EVs: 4 Atk/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Rash nature (+SAtk, -SDef)
- Draco Meteor
- Thunderbolt
- Superpower
- Roost

Dragonite is quite simply a wall-breaker. Draco Meteor KOs most Gliscor and does major damage to anything else under the sun, 2HKOing many. Thunderbolt is given the nod over anything else for the surprise factor and more reliable kills on waters not named Swampert. It also prevents Gyarados from setting up on a -2 Dragonite for free. LO Thunderbolt is surprisingly powerful, 2hkoing most Forretress. Superpower is for Blissey, who is a major pain to this team. Neutral Superpower does a huge number to Blissey, almost guaranteeing a KO on those that were weakened beforehand. Wall-breaker. Yay. Conclusions on RMTs are really hard, you know. heh

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Starmie @ Life Orb
Ability: Natural Cure
EVs: 4 HP/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Timid nature (+Spd, -Atk)
- Hydro Pump
- Thunderbolt
- Ice Beam
- Rapid Spin

Oh, how I love LO Starmie. It has so many decent switch-ins in the metagame and forces just as many. Rapid Spin keeps entry hazards from ruining my fun and 3 attacks + Life Orb is great for momentum. I use that word a lot, but it is simply the name of the game. Momentum. Generally, if I have that, I have the game. Standard set, checks Metagross and many others. Any stall Pokemon not named Blissey is also hurt pretty badly. Speed. Power. Typing. Starmie is perfect for this team and is probably the only thing I will not replace.

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Jolteon (M) @ Choice Specs
Ability: Volt Absorb
EVs: 4 HP/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Timid nature (+Spd, -Atk)
- Thunderbolt
- Shadow Ball
- Hidden Power [Grass]
- Baton Pass

These descriptions will just get shorter and less on point, but oh well. SpecsJolt is ferocious, tearing apart offensive teams once their electric immunity is gone. Anything not named Celebi, Blissey, or Shaymin WILL fall to his SpecsThunderbolt. Jolteon also has great synergy with Starmie, absorbing Thunderbolts aimed at it from Rotom and enemy Jolteon. Jolteon provides some great raw power and speed to the team. My mind fades to black and I can't write anymore so lets just wrap this up...

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Jirachi @ Leftovers
Ability: Serene Grace
EVs: 36 HP/220 Spd/252 SAtk
Timid nature (+Spd, -Atk)
- Calm Mind
- Psychic
- Grass Knot
- Hidden Power [Ground]

Superrachi. It is such a great set that is rarely used, yet it tears apart unprepared teams. It is not uncommon that Swampert and Heatran are both brought in, only to both be OHKO'd. Jirachi is my number one switch in to things like Gengar and Suicune once their respective checks are down. Often setting up on Forretress as they get cocky with entry hazards, Jirachi proceeds to tear them apart. Roserade and Machamp are also checked well by Jirachi. Jirachi is great, though I'm not sure if it has the greatest synergy with the team. Opinions on that are appreciated.

Conclusion
Well, that is the team, to put it simply. I'm too lazy to write up a full threat list, but major threats include BULKY DDNITE, BULKY DDGYARA, SCARFROTOM, LO GENGAR, and some other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting. Have fun rating, heh. Thanks in advance.
 
Shameless bump. I realize my descriptions aren't the best, but I hope there is enough that a possible change can be seen. heh
 
One of the best OU thread titles ever. A well made joke that would only work with your username.

Onto the rate:

Haven't got much honestly, but how about reversing the roles on Infernape and Starmie? You could give her a scarf and turn infernape into the physical (or special) sweeper varient.
Scarf Starmie will reliably Check DDgyara and DDnite where's infernape needs to rely on the less than stellar Stone Edge.
 
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