I've always had a real problem with my temper and, while it isn't as bad as it used to be, it's still a major issue. I often find myself livid over petty stuff, and get to the point where I really want to kill people in heated arguments and such. I've also found that I've been getting upset over things over the internet, stuff like tier discussions and whatnot, that I know aren't a big deal yet I end up incensed all the same. Just not saying anything doesn't help--in fact, it makes it worse--so does anyone have any suggestions?
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Anger Management
- Thread starter StarmanXL
- Start date
It's a terrible idea to keep your anger bottled up inside. I used to have a lot of temper problems as well (and still do on occasion, but not as much).
You have to let your anger out somehow, and I've found that talking to myself (however psycho it makes me look) works very well. In particular, cussing like a truckdriver to myself works even better. I'm not sure why talking to myself helps the anger slowly dissipate, but I think it's more of a listening thing. After all, there's only so much you can tell someone else before they stop listening. However, you're always listening to yourself, so in a sense, you are your own best listener.
Playing an instrument also helps greatly with anger. I personally am a piano player, and when I'm pissed off to the max, I start playing whatever comes to mind on my piano.
As for wanting to kill someone in the midst of a heated argument, I think that's natural (not that you'd actually kill someone). When the heart starts beating super-fast during an argument, it's only natural that your adrenaline would go up quite a bit. Honestly, heated arguments are often unnecessary. Once one person starts yelling and saying totally irrational things, the argument is basically over, since that person is most likely not going to give up their position, no matter what the other person says.
You have to let your anger out somehow, and I've found that talking to myself (however psycho it makes me look) works very well. In particular, cussing like a truckdriver to myself works even better. I'm not sure why talking to myself helps the anger slowly dissipate, but I think it's more of a listening thing. After all, there's only so much you can tell someone else before they stop listening. However, you're always listening to yourself, so in a sense, you are your own best listener.
Playing an instrument also helps greatly with anger. I personally am a piano player, and when I'm pissed off to the max, I start playing whatever comes to mind on my piano.
As for wanting to kill someone in the midst of a heated argument, I think that's natural (not that you'd actually kill someone). When the heart starts beating super-fast during an argument, it's only natural that your adrenaline would go up quite a bit. Honestly, heated arguments are often unnecessary. Once one person starts yelling and saying totally irrational things, the argument is basically over, since that person is most likely not going to give up their position, no matter what the other person says.
In my childhood (when I was liek 8 ~ 12 years) I was very worried about everything, I got nervous because of nothing and had similar problems with you as well.
One day I had an epiphany and realized that this was bad, disturbed my life and everything else. Since then I am less worried about things, I have a more relaxed way of thinking, I try to do the minimum possible to ensure my goals, never going beyond them. In the beginning it was difficult but after some time I got used to it and right now I can not imagine me with a different personality.
But watch out...there is a very thin line that separates not worrying and not giving meaning to things, and the worst thing that can happen to any human being is to not giving any meaning to things surrounding him therefore making life meaningless.
Not bottling up anger is a good advice to start too =D
One day I had an epiphany and realized that this was bad, disturbed my life and everything else. Since then I am less worried about things, I have a more relaxed way of thinking, I try to do the minimum possible to ensure my goals, never going beyond them. In the beginning it was difficult but after some time I got used to it and right now I can not imagine me with a different personality.
But watch out...there is a very thin line that separates not worrying and not giving meaning to things, and the worst thing that can happen to any human being is to not giving any meaning to things surrounding him therefore making life meaningless.
Not bottling up anger is a good advice to start too =D
I have a similar problem. Cod4 is actually a great way to reduce stress. I scream at the annoying little kids. I scream at the annoying old men( on xbox live of course). It's especially fun when I end up wrecking them at the game. Sometimes I just scream outside.
I also wrestle, which is a great way to reduce anger levels.
I also wrestle, which is a great way to reduce anger levels.
I dunno, I've found video games to be pretty shitty stress relievers, especially FPSes or any other game you play online with others. So far as I've found, the more confidence you have in yourself when doing those things or how bad it will feel if you get stomped, the more likely you are to lose (at least for me). I also don't think I could really do any team sport as that brings on a whole new level of stress for me, and boxing, well, see the FPS thing. I suppose running would be the best thing--I was trying to learn the basics of parkour anyway, so why not?
It's best if you can relieve your stress through actual physical means. The chemicals released during physical exercise help to counteract the 'bad mojo' that gets released when you bottle up all of your stress and anger. Buy a punching bag, wrestle in the yard, go for a three mile run, whatever it takes. I don't recommend video games; they're fun but they just aren't as effective.
I have similar problems.
I used to play Halo 3 online. Lets just say as a semi-competitive player, the small amount of latency catches up with you, as well as bad teammates.
I actually sold my 360, just to get away. (my bro has one too, as he's 16 and I'm 19 and not at home except summer). I've also worked on not getting angry at things out of my control. It isn't easy.
http://www.mlgpro.com/content/page/43996/Keeping-Your-Cool-Anger-Management-In-Gaming
I actually made this my home page. Its geared towards Halo 2/ SSBM, but at least the overall message is the same. It's a good read.
Also, try exercising. Parkour sounds like something great to get into (if you think your body is capable). Running in general, or biking, or swimming is good too. Also any game you REALLY enjoy (sport wise) get into that too, though be wary if it's a team sport, as you can get angry at teammates.
Overall good luck, and you aren't weird, anger is just something that happens, but it's unhealthy to be angry all the time, or very easily.
I used to play Halo 3 online. Lets just say as a semi-competitive player, the small amount of latency catches up with you, as well as bad teammates.
I actually sold my 360, just to get away. (my bro has one too, as he's 16 and I'm 19 and not at home except summer). I've also worked on not getting angry at things out of my control. It isn't easy.
http://www.mlgpro.com/content/page/43996/Keeping-Your-Cool-Anger-Management-In-Gaming
I actually made this my home page. Its geared towards Halo 2/ SSBM, but at least the overall message is the same. It's a good read.
Also, try exercising. Parkour sounds like something great to get into (if you think your body is capable). Running in general, or biking, or swimming is good too. Also any game you REALLY enjoy (sport wise) get into that too, though be wary if it's a team sport, as you can get angry at teammates.
Overall good luck, and you aren't weird, anger is just something that happens, but it's unhealthy to be angry all the time, or very easily.
Don't play FPS's online; they'll just make you get angrier. Trust me. The moment someone shoots you, you'll become even more livid. (And as a side note, don't play CoD4, as the M16 users will piss you off).
Try taking a walk by yourself in the park or something. I find getting away from people helps immensely.
Try taking a walk by yourself in the park or something. I find getting away from people helps immensely.
This interests me because I have the opposite problem. I pretty much never get angry past getting a little antsy when I've not had a cigarette for a while. Very, very occasionally I'll flip out and break everything in sight, but that again is generally hormonal and is incredibly infrequent. Today I was sat on a train with a bunch of drunken teenage fuckwits shouting about how they wanted to 'GO AND DO A RAPE', amongst other things (tired misogynistic bullshit, plus the rather worrying insinuation that one of them had actually raped a woman the night before, and just didn't realise it). They were kicking my chair for about an hour, and I did nothing. I *tried* to get angry, but it just wasn't there - and as a feminist and rape victim, it should of, but didn't.
Sorry to hijack thread OP - I wish I had some answers for you - I used to be like you. The tiniest thing would make me rage hard. Do you think it's possible to use it all up in the space of a few years, and just not have any energy left for anger ever again?
Sorry to hijack thread OP - I wish I had some answers for you - I used to be like you. The tiniest thing would make me rage hard. Do you think it's possible to use it all up in the space of a few years, and just not have any energy left for anger ever again?
My dad used to have the same problem. He got into drinking to let it out, but over the past few months he started playing sports such as football to let out his anger. We also let him be by himself for an hour or two after he came close to overheating or after he threw a fit. It really works and he has been drinking less and less (which is a freaking miracle). Just try to take deep breaths and stay away from anything that makes you angry. After a while, I think you'll get better. It isn't incredibly difficult to let out your anger, but suppressing it is terrible for you. Staying calm if you get angry isn't really the same as bottling it up, but if you learn to stop before you go over the top then you should be okay.
This is really good advice. I'm a kickboxer and you really start to associate being angry with violence. So when someone gets all up in your grill you want to kick the shit out of them.
A solution for this was to torrent unreal tournament 2004 (crappy game but good for fast anger release) and troll the internet. A much less violent way of releasing anger.