ANNOUNCEMENT - Smogoff Shadow Cabinet '22

BIG ASHLEY

BIG ASHLEY

brain like a hurricane
is a Community Contributor
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Hello, people of this beautiful forum!

I stand before you today with a group of distinguished individuals by my side. It is my absolute honour to continue the (frankly, silly) expansion of the PM bureaucracy and introduce my Shadow Cabinet.

Why a Shadow Cabinet, I hear you cry? Why not a normal Cabinet? Well, that's because a Shadow Cabinet sounds much cooler than a normal Cabinet. Obviously.

Why do we need such an edifice, I hear you continue to cry? Is one Poster not enough to lead us? In ordinary times, perhaps, but these are no ordinary times. The world is an ever-changing place, and we face geopolitical tensions with many of our neighbours. Only recently, we have seen the annexation of the Sports Arena by a power-hungry Cong, desperate to re-establish the glory days of a forum. Elsewhere, Pet Mods continues to callously gobble up our all-important Playpenners - the Posters of the future. And, of course, we have our usual diplomatic squabbles with the Orange Islands.

It is as a result of this delicate global situation that I felt the need to assemble my Shadow Cabinet. At times like these, unity is deeply important, which is why I have extended an olive branch to many of my defeated rivals from the People's Moderator race. I am glad that so many of them have accepted my offer - it means a lot. My top priority in selecting for these offices, however, has always been perceived aptitude for the position, and I am confident that we can make a real, tangible difference to this delightful forum of ours.

Without further ado, I give you…

Your Shadow Cabinet!

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People's Moderator - Total Clefairy

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Deputy People's Moderator and Heir-In-Waiting - PokeKids2

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Shadow Chancellor of Reactions - shadowpea

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Shadow Posting Minister (henceforth "Postmaster") - monkfish

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Shadow Smogoff Defence Minister - BP

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Shadow Minister for Legitimate Public Dealings - az

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Shadow Ambassador to Smeargle's Studio - Albatross

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Shadow Ambassador to CAP - Slapperfish

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Shadow Ambassador to Orange Islands - xzern

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Shadow Ambassador to Cong - Fishy

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Shadow Ambassador to Pet Mods - earl

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Shadow Ambassador to the Playpen - SNAK30PRA

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Shadow Liaison with Smogon Staff and Ambassador to Inside Scoop - faint

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Shadow the Hedgehog - Awesome

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The Band - Showaddywaddy

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This Whole Affair - Gratuitous

All that remains to say is another thank you to the citizenry of Smogoff for re-electing me to this role, and to all involved for not calling me a dick for putting so much effort into this nonsense.

Power to the people! Power to the posters! Power to Psmogoff!

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As your Shadow Liaison with Smogon Staff and Ambassador to Inside Scoop, let me be clear that my loyalty lies with the people of Smogoff. Like the public servant I spent my life being, rest assured I will make sure all posters know what is happening inside the scoops, with the power given to my by the great Total Clefairy. We see you, we hear you, and we will do whatever it takes to treat people with kindness.
 
Siri, send text to Smogmod Group Chat


hey baddies!! a situation is developing:​

we should regroup.​
​
first, russia waged war…​
now the people of smogoff think this is anything but a totalitarian republic…​

I fear if they continue to rally behind the PM-elect, there may be ramifications beyond our capacity to mitigate.​

the majority of the Shadow Cabinet’s ambassadors hold no political clout within their respective country-states. however, they have a lynchpin in their reserves: Shadow Chancellor of Reactions shadowpea​

even the likes of the current Smogoff governmental structure has yet to modulate the Like economy in a way that is consistent, so we must proceed with caution.​
​
also we’re still on for brunch tomorrow? Hooters at 11? lmk xx​


send text
 
Total Clefairy said:
Why a Shadow Cabinet, I hear you cry? Why not a normal Cabinet? Well, that's because a Shadow Cabinet sounds much cooler than a normal Cabinet. Obviously.
Click to expand...
I think Total Clefairy may be covering the fact that they didn't win the vote of the people. Getting people to accept that the losers are the winners via media manipulation. Hiring the other losers to join a coalition against the person who actually won, whoever that is.

Less total clefairy and more total corruption, I demand a recount.
 
It was me who created this. I created the shadow cabinet. It started on a day like any other day.
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I was busy making cabinets, when a supposed customer sauntered in and began looking around. They looked somewhat shifty, and I made sure to keep an eye on them. Too many cabinets had been lost to thieves within the past month for me to not be careful with this strange person. They glanced over at me, and I quickly looked away so as not to be seen staring. Menacingly, they began to walk towards me. I made sure to keep calm as they slowly got closer and closer. I blinked, and they were suddenly right next to me. I looked away from my cabinet and towards them, and they said "You don't have the type of cabinet I want." Not knowing exactly what to say, I said "I can make any cabinet for my clientele. Name the cabinet and i'll name a price." And with that, it all began. They began to explain to me that they wanted a mysterious cabinet, one of shadow. I listened closely, and knew at once what to do. So I began my work. They smirked and said "I doubt you'll be able to make it." But I smiled defiantly and said "Try me." So I worked, day and night, on this cabinet. It was a trial, a test. One I thought I couldn't complete for a while. However, I persevered. I kept going. I kept on trying. And eventually, it was done. I had created the shadow cabinet. I awaited my clientele with bated breath. I knew this shadow cabinet would be unlike they had ever seen. And as they walked in, I felt a sense of pride. This was my best work, about to be bought for a large sum of money. And as they saw me and the cabinet, they seemed confused. I asked "What's the matter?" and they responded with "... that's a shadow cabinet?"
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Seeing their predicament, I explained to them how it was a shadow cabinet. Held within this innocent looking cabinet, are shadows. Constantly. This is why it's a shadow cabinet. As I gazed proudly down at my work of art, they began to laugh. "If I open it, it's not a shadow cabinet!" But I was prepared for this response. I told them that "Opening it decreases the amount of shadow within it, but it will always have a little shadow. As soon as it is shut, that shadow will grow and fill the cabinet again." They continued laughing, all while I watched. This went on for some time, but they finally stopped laughing and said that they wouldn't buy it. Dismayed, I asked why. They began to explain to me what a shadow cabinet actually is, and I began to get very depressed. I had failed a client. I would have this hanging over my head for all eternity. Throughout life, I would be sad. Throughout heaven or hell or wherever I go after I die, I would be sad. I had failed a client. As they walked out, I followed them to the door of the business. After they left, I put up a closed sign and wept within the store. I never removed that closed sign again.
 
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