Another Girl Advice Thread

Basics

It's not like a critical situation, and I don't think I desperately need help or anything, but I thought I'd come to you guys and get your take on the situation. I'm no slouch with the ladies, but I'm no Don Juan either, so it never hurts to get a second opinion.

Basically the situation is this:

Over the summer I was volunteering at an anime/horror/sci-fi/comic book/gaming convention (talk all the shit you want, I need 40 hours for school and it beats a soup kitchen). I was working in the autograph signing section, so naturally I didn't really have much to do, aside from talking to people, answering their questions, and making sure they stayed in a line. There was another girl working in the same place, so I basically spent the whole time talking to her.

We hit it off pretty well (or so I thought), and ended up going out for lunch together when we were on break. The next day, we hung out together again, and like... I dunno, she was cute/funny/intelligent, so it wasn't even just one of those "I'd tap that" things, like I actually liked spending time with her. So as we were leaving the last day of the convention, I got her number/email, and was feeling pretty good about myself.

Then I went home and just added her to my MSN/Facebook, and found out she had a boyfriend with whom she was apparently celebrating her one-year anniversary next week. I was pretty ticked off, and I didn't really know what she was playing at. I kept talking to her on MSN, but like I had basically all but given up on relationship prospects.

Then, like a month later, she messages me and is all excited, explaining that she broke up with her boyfriend who had apparently been cheating on her. It's a little bit unexpected, but I ran with it, and realized I still had feelings for her. I waited for what seemed like an appropriate amount of time before asking her out (~2 and a half weeks), and then did so. It was over MSN, which I never like, because it's just lame, but like I figured it would be weird to call her out of nowhere (having like never called her before), seeing as it would kinda bait out my scene, but yeah. Whatever.

She's like "Sure. Are you busy Saturday?" (It was like Thursday). I'm like "No, you want to catch a movie or something?" "Sounds good." Then, she was like "oh fuck i have to go i totally forgot i was supposed to meet my friend" and signs out. I don't really read to much into that kind of thing; she signs off unexpectedly all the time, so yeah. Friday I had the day off school and was up to my regular debauchery with some other friends, but I left her an email with my phone number if she wanted to get in touch to go over the details. She doesn't get in touch with me on Friday, but I don't really think about it; when I wake up on Saturday, I realized I was supposed to have a date today. I ran downstairs, checked my cell for missed messages/texts, checked my email/facebook/MSN and there was nothing. On the one hand, I'm relieved that I didn't miss anything, but on the other hand, I wonder if she got the message.

This is where it gets weird. I didn't want to sound like... I don't want to say "desperate", but maybe "over-eager". I just didn't want to come on too strong, I guess. After chatting for a bit, I'm like "So are we still on for today?" There's no reply, so I let it sit for a few minutes, then she replies "I can't". I was like ":( Why's that?" No reply again, and then she signs out. Like I said, at the time I wasn't really reading anything into this, but it's just in retrospect I'm thinking about it.

She signs on a few hours later, "Hey what's up?" etc. etc. I asked her if she was busy Sunday, she said she had plans with her mom, so I was like "Oh, okay, cool." Now the seeds of doubt are kinda planted in my mind. I mean I know that I like her, and I don't want to like... let this slip, but I also don't want to freak her out by seeming over-eager.

I'm not really sure what I should do. Right now I think the best thing to do is just ask her unambiguously if she wants to go out next weekend the next time I talk to her. I could try calling her, but like I said I've never called her before, and yeah.

Now that I write this all down, it seems like a really dumb sort of thing to be worried about, but for some reason it's getting to me.
 
The same thing happened to me earlier this month. It turned out that she was in the same boat I was in but she couldnt get the courage to just commit to a date. Not out of nervousness but her not wanting to come on too strong. I felt the same way and didnt want to make things wierd. I finaly just called her and talked about it, we laughed it off and dated a few times. Didnt really work out but your situation reminded me of this.
 
The way I see it, she's either:

a) Not interested in you that way
b) Being a bitch about her time

I'd think it would be "b" moreso than "a" because as you said, you hit it off pretty well.

However if she keeps doing that to you, then perhaps she's not worth your time.

Oh, and btw... Community service at a games convention? I didn't know that counted.
 
Get angry at her. Tell how stupid the situation is and don't talk to her till she talks to you.

Get angry at her. Get really angry at her. She deserved it.

(If you don't do what I say, she'll keep doing that)

(Getting angry involves things like "wtf are you thinking?" or throwing shit to floor)

After a second thought, I think you should do the getting angry part the second time she does this. She'll do it again
 
Okay, here's my advice: make a date up in your head. Figure out where you want to go with her and what you'll do, and figure out when you'll do it and how, down to the exact minute you'll pick her up/meet her somewhere.

Next time she pops on the messenger, ask her "hey, do you want to X on Yday?" If she says yes, you lay out the plans just how you thought them up. Don't make anything tentative or leave any grey areas, and if she has scheduling conflicts make a new time that's good for both of you.

This will leave no room for flaking out. If you do this and the date never happens, then forget about her and move on. If she wants a relationship that bad, SHE will find YOU.
 
to add on to what Lutalo said i would let it cool down for a couple of days before you ask her out again. you could also try a different approach to get her to warm up to you. invite her to come along with you and some friends and have her bring a friend or two to some event or just to chill at someones house. creates a good social atmosphere that isn't pressing the "i want to date you" issue too hard.
 
I just wouldn't even bother. If you want ANY chance with her in the future, I'd stop all asking for dates right now. Whenever you talk to her, keep it light. It may be hard, but you have to keep it light. Don't stray into dating area. I'd say to keep it light and friendly for at least 2-3 weeks, maybe even until SHE makes the first move...which may never happen, in which case, screw it, she's weird.

If you don't really care about a possible future relationship with her, then just keep bugging the hell out of her, or call her out for being flaky, because she sure as hell is being flaky.
 
she's maybe just iffy about it, have you tried just asking her?
personally as an actual GIRL I appreciate to a massive degree honesty. if there's a problem or you think there's a problem I's want to fucking know!
 
This type of thing happened to me before. When I seemed over-eager to hangout it was always "I'm busy, I'm busy, I really busy" and then it seemed as if we would never talk and stuff, finally when I told her that I liked her......well let's just say the whole thing ended with her thinking that I was a total creep and we never talked again 0_o
 
This thing happened to me a while ago this year actually lol. I went to this fast food restaurant called "Zippys". I ordered my food at the counter and i notice this hot blonde girl working there. I didnt approach to her the first time but then the 2nd time i came to zippys, i came to her and said "Hi how are you, how often do you work here" etc. etc. For the 3rd time, i finnally asked her out, i asked her phone number and i said the reason i want to go out with you is because "I want to get to know you" It was back in March of 07 the week before spring break when this all happened, i asked her if she is busy this week and she said she had to go to Florida on vacation.

I wait a week later, so i called her up and see if she wants to do something and she said yes and guess where I went to on my first date xD. ZIPPYS!!!! Yup i drove there and i waited for her and she gave me a big hug and i touched her ass while i was giving her the hug lol. We talked for an hour and started asking each other questions, an hour later she says "Sigh i have a paper to do and i cant see a movie today". I was pretty pissed when she said that but w/e. I said bye to her and everything.

Next couple weeks..... I call her up and she says she is going to Texas for a month =/. Im like WTF. I wait a month later and no response, then i try calling her for the 2nd time that same day for 6 hours later and no answer =(. I kinda figured that either shes lying to me or she has a boyfriend and didnt tell me. Then i just moved on to a different woman and thats the end of my relationship LMAO.

Her name is Rocky and my name is Ricky so we would have got a good relationship if only she didnt live so far away =(. Although she is 20 and i am 19 so she prolly thought i was immature since im a year younger.

~Ricky~
 
hp [leaves] said:
Get angry at her. Tell how stupid the situation is and don't talk to her till she talks to you.

Get angry at her. Get really angry at her. She deserved it.

(If you don't do what I say, she'll keep doing that)

(Getting angry involves things like "wtf are you thinking?" or throwing shit to floor)

After a second thought, I think you should do the getting angry part the second time she does this. She'll do it again
Click to expand...


Don't forget to smear your own feces on the wall. I think that works well for simians.

CHOMPY said:
Her name is Rocky and my name is Ricky so we would have got a good relationship if only she didnt live so far away =(. Although she is 20 and i am 19 so she prolly thought i was immature since im a year younger.
Click to expand...

Don't be a moron. I dated an older girl for 2.5 years and lived with her for a year. Age doesn't matter as much as league. Maybe she deemed you unworthy cause you think that having Rocky/Ricky as companion names means you have a good relationship (read carefully).

I thought I sucked at reading women so I started blanketing them with a coat of spite, grudges and outrage (lol @ pokemon moves) and they have started rolling in. Maybe it's also cause I don't care about them, women go crazy for that.
 
majesty said:
Don't be a moron. I dated an older girl for 2.5 years and lived with her for a year. Age doesn't matter as much as league. Maybe she deemed you unworthy cause you think that having Rocky/Ricky as companion names means you have a good relationship (read carefully).
Click to expand...

Ok, now that just mean. There is no point in being harsh to people just because...

CHOMPY said:
Yup i drove there and i waited for her and she gave me a big hug and i touched her ass while i was giving her the hug lol.
Click to expand...

...oh. There's my argument out the window. Carry on. :happybrain:

(as for the original poster, have you tried killing this girl? You get all the sex you like, and afterwards a free meal. Hell, you can even make a skin suit to wear when you jack off. Happy trails!)
 
Just kick her in the balls JJ. Seriously, I have some experience with women but I've never been able to understand them, maybe she just doesn't know what to do? I'd have gotten over her by now though if she did that to me.
 
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