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(Archive) Small Objective Changes Thread

http://www.smogon.com/gs/pokemon/primeape

and Cross Chop has a deadly amount of STAB and is the Pokémon's signature move.
STAB is a 1.5x multiplier - you cannot get a deadly amount of it, since you can either get it or you can't. I suggest, "and Cross Chop does a deadly amount of damage, which is accompanied by STAB, and is also the Pokémon's signature move." I think you may have meant 'deadly STAB' - in which case, "and Cross Chop has a deadly STAB and is the Pokémon's signature move" would work to an extent.
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/azumarill

Dugtrio would also spell trouble on the incoming to avenge one of it's fallen teammate if you don't have a Substitute up.
Either change this to, "Dugtrio would also spell trouble on the incoming to avenge one of its fallen teammates if you don't have a Substitute up", or "Dugtrio would also spell trouble on the incoming to avenge a fallen teammate if you don't have a Substitute up." You used the wrong form of its, and you didn't pluralize 'teammate'.
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/furret

This is about all that Furret can do, it has a limited (usable) movepool. Use your Choice Band to wreck havoc with Double-Edge / Return and Focus Punch, and eventually Trick your favorite physical wall of choice.
'Favorite' and 'of choice' are synonyms and thus one of them is unnecessary. Change to "This is about all Furret can do; it has a limited (usable) movepool. Use your Choice Band to wreck havoc with Double-Edge / Return and Focus Punch, and eventually trick your physical wall of choice." I figured that 'of choice' would be better suited to what you were trying to convey.
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/lunatone

For Baton Passing, you let it have enough Speed to be faster than Blastoise and Grasses, which means about 200 Speed, or 96 EVs.
Currently the article is informing me that I let Lunatone have enough Speed to be faster than Blastoise and Grasses, and is not suggest changing it to, "For Baton Passing, give it enough Speed to be faster than Blastoise and Grasses, which means about 200 speed, or 96 EVs."
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/delcatty

Charm is for slowing down some Pokémon.
The move Charm does not slow down Pokémon - it lowers their attack. Suggested modification: "Charm is for shutting down certain Pokémon."

Return over Double-Edge, but Delcatty can't hit anything anyway, so I don't think recoil will hurt, Covet because you might steal Leftovers from something like Skarmory.
Should be split into two sentences, otherwize the above makes no sense. You must replace the comma after 'hurt' with a full stop.
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/sharpedo

The likes of Manectric, Banette, Magmar, and maybe Fearow, Aggron and Jumpluff will fall in one hit if you select the right attack. Hydro Pump is there to hits the folk with higher defense, like Torkoal and especially Gligar.
Change to, "Hydro Pump is there to hit the folk with higher defense, like Torkoal and especially Gligar." Alternatively, "Hydro Pump is there as it hits the folk with higher defense, like Torkoal and especially Gligar."
 
http://www.smogon.com/rs/pokemon/seviper
Get at least 197 Speed (124 EVs), it will just outrace Hypno, most Solrock, Walrein, and Blastoise, which could be crucial in some situations.
No connection is implied, and thus this doesn't really make sense. You need a conjunction most likely. "Get at least 197 Speed (124 EVs) and it will just about outrace Hypno, most Solrock, Walrein and Blastoise, which could be crucial in some situations."
 
http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/primeape

as most Ghost-types have access to Levitate as an ability and as a result, are immune to Earthquake.
There should almost definitely be no comma after the word 'result'. I think you were thinking of 'As a result,' at the start of a sentence; there would be a comma in that situation, but as it stands, there should be no comma in the above.

Not to mention that Claydol is capable of Rapid Spinning away entry hazards that would otherwise cause Primeape to lose small chunks of its health every time it switches in.
The word 'switches' is inconsistent with the conditional tense of the rest of the sentence - thus, it should be "Not to mention that Claydol is capable of Rapid Spinning away entry hazards that would otherwize cause Primeape to lose small chunks of its help every time it switched in."

The same team options from the Choice Band set applies for the Choice Scarf set as well.
Should be, "The same team options from the Choice Band set apply for the Choice Scarf set as well."
 
I fixed all of Forbidden To Starve's posts above. Thanks :)

edit - I fixed Bezerker Lord's post too, though I left the second error since it isn't "needed".

another edit - fixed post below.
 
Okay, I just have one more. I promise.

http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/primeape

If Giratina-O isn’t running Hidden Power Fire, and the sun is out, then Forretress with Payback makes a nice counter to it, Scizor also works equally well with Pursuit.
'Scizor also works equally well with Pursuit' is not a dependent clause. Should be corrected to "If Giratina-O isn't running Hidden Power Fire, and the sun is out, then Forretress with Payback makes a nice counter to it. Scizor also works equally well with Pursuit."
 
Looking over the Kyogre analysis, the second last sentence in the first paragraph of the Calm Mind Sweeper set says "can not" when it should say "cannot".

Original sentence : For example, Palkia can not 2HKO a +1 Kyogre with Thunder without Life Orb, while Kyogre 2HKOs most Palkia with Thunder.

I took care of this.

The answer list is actually for all moves that were changed from physical to special and vice versa.
For correctness, reduce the list to keep the same question (it's same wording as in last issue), or add the "and vice versa" or something alike to keep the list as it is.
Link

http://www.smogon.com/smog/issue7/wsc

This was also fixed, but not by me. I just clicked the link and found the edit added.
 
http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/breloom
Spore puncher

Other options include Facade, which takes advantage of Breloom’s Toxic Orb and, while it doesn’t hit anything in particular, does have a lot of neutral coverage and can take care of the Flying-type foes who plague Breloom, as well as dealing a useful 40% to 252 HP Celebi.


The comma is out of place, it should be right after Orb, not in front of and. Also, there is no it after particular.

edit: Actually, you could also put a period after orb and just get rid of the comma altogether. it just confuses me to what is the best thing to change it to
 
http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/dragonite
Mixnite


Since Dragonite relies heavily on prediction, it would be wise to first scout the foe's Pokémon. Scizor with U-turn is able to come in with relative ease, force a switch, and then retreat to a counter while getting in a bit of damage. Flygon can accomplish something similar. With a Choice Scarf, it also makes a decent check to Jirachi, Heatran, Latias and Salamence.

The period after similar is totally unescessary.
 
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