alright. you want the sauce, heres the sauce
Arceus-Ghost @ Spooky Plate
Ability: Magic Guard
Tera Type: Ghost
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Nasty Plot
- Judgment
- Secret Sword
- Spikes
let's start off with something relatively easy to understand. this is walled by exactly bounce aud and nothing else (yvel is also annoying but allows hazards), meaning you typically match up extremely well into teams that are too passive into hazardstack. no recovery arc is heretical but most wish users can support it, you don't even need pivoting, just don't let your wish user get exploited by offensive mon losers and remember to switch out your ghostceus at 40. nothing kills ghostceus from 40
ive lost count of how many blisseys ttars etc ive sniped with secret sword after revealing my other 3 moves and having the opponent mistakenly think i must be recover last. and i don't mean that as a figure of speech either, it's at least 5 and might be up to 10.
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/smogtours-gen9balancedhackmons-825789 ren uses my team in bh open and ghostceus kills the blissey and then the structure falls apart (ignore that i forgot to add an etern check)
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2322426831-91c3uq4ei2ut1ejopumirtu7x1m2cpvpw opponent mistakenly lets yveltal get chipped because they assume i have recover, ghostceus is able to prevail despite encore mirai being really good at halting progress and spikes providing no help
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2350865016-8la0cnu3or660g6wchr8keqacwiq8k8pw funny short one from yesterday's suspect laddering
Arceus-Steel @ Life Orb
Ability: Magic Guard
Tera Type: Steel
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Hasty Nature
- Steel Beam
- V-create
- Head Smash
- Dragon Tail
speaking of no recovery arcs, here's this guy. this mon is the linchpin of a cirno-like offense structure i developed that works pretty simply: you have ice/fairy/flying clickers, improof them with this, then improof this with a chicken. this mon isn't the best breaker on its own cause you get walled by ting and waters, but the goal isn't to break every team open, it's to not be passive. various other options can be considered including wbb/levi gigaton no recovery (maybe with ruination or even split), glare, heart swap (1 of the most underrated moves in the game), list goes on
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2273816819 sometimes they will have no counters which means you win
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2273824228 see above
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2273880938 steelceus holds off the villains as long as possible then the clickers come in and kill everything
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2273896502 court change is one of two disastrous matchups for this team (the other being eleceus) but despite this steelceus is able to hold the team together long enough for me to get webs online again, this time with deadly consequences
Celesteela @ Covert Cloak
Ability: Aerilate
Tera Type: Steel
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Quiet / Brave Nature
- Extreme Speed
- Boomburst
- Strength Sap
- Salt Cure
evil celesteela. no one runs cloak steels anymore so you can click endlessly and you also beat imposter. mg hooh/mirai/steelceus and cloak imp are the only true counterplay, everyone else falls to hazards and/or your attacks. this is also really good into fc zama though you do lose to imp if you let them knock you
see ghostceus replays, sorry i dont have too many
edit: nvm here have two more against qt on ladder. enjoy the continuation of the aerilate steela chronicles
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2317656592-gxq6wlmkh50ihu0y1u2fhndrww78s6qpw
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2317667984-dx1mo70yco435xhhtkcn0reb7sbyvatpw
Tentacruel @ Black Sludge
Ability: Volt Absorb
Tera Type: Water
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Calm Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Leech Seed
- Nuzzle
- Baneful Bunker
- Steam Eruption
i remember seeing this oras tentacruel set that was like "4 best moves in the game" (scald tspikes spin knock iirc), so here's the bh equivalent of that. this looks ridiculous but 80/120 bulk is genuinely enough to counter the majority of special arcs and you beat choice guys cause you have bunker. there is usually at least 1 mon in every game that tentacruel completely shuts down, unless youre facing offense in which case you spam nuzzle. leech seed is a genuinely incredible move, keep this away from knock/salt spammers and it never dies
you might be asking "why the fuck is this a tentacruel", i don't have an answer, the set came fully formed in my brain. i can at least say that the steel and fairy resists are extremely useful. haven't actually used this outside of the forbidden tags team from secret santa so idk how applicable it is to other structures
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2260555175 catching specs flutter early
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2350947300-q89e2hmh8jqsmnld4u37e9awonnsdtppw (long game) denies progress from both cage + ice beam eleceus and cage etern, allowing me to hold the position together despite getting my buzzwole poisoned and eventually secure the win with kanga
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2350918277-jbwv8e13a7o6ecp8j4v0ic0sb91lsjnpw bullying ghostceus etern and flutter vs stolen identity sample
under the knife (Celesteela) @ Leftovers
Ability: Volt Absorb
Tera Type: Steel
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Def / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Swords Dance
- Gigaton Hammer
- Baneful Bunker
- Spikes
another volt absorber, this was put on the team to improof an sd electric move groundceus but i should really have learned my lesson about that mon by now. the steela on its own is mildly interesting though so i'm putting it here. this is mostly worse than the speed boost variant but it definitely has its moments vs shit like eleceus, and you can even consider fur coat with the idea to punish knock zama with bunker. many options
no replays cause the team sucked
its your turn (Lanturn) @ Leftovers
Ability: Unaware
Tera Type: Water
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Calm Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Toxic Spikes / Thunder Cage
- Baneful Bunker / Roost
- Leech Seed
- Salt Cure / Ruination
lanturn is one of the best unawares. this guys kinda like kyogre except you trade some bulk for cage neutrality and can also sapblock. will not help you against mg ghostceus or power trip, but i don't think any unaware should be trying to do that. i have never used this pokemon on an actual good team; i think it's probably about as good as the tentacruel. unfortunately lanturn gets less mileage out of leech seed due to their higher hp but you should still be clicking it at every opportunity.
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2345870711-v0sj7untr4q77o3rgbv7yqgloj6ggnjpw yeah
Overcast Illusion (Arceus-Fairy) @ Pixie Plate
Ability: Regenerator
Tera Type: Fairy
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Modest Nature
- Judgment
- Take Heart
- Secret Sword
- Knock Off
on paper this is the coolest mon ever and is always making that incremental progress but in practice i always get a turn wrong and it dies its such a cool mon though rrrrrrrrrr
in general pixie plate chip-resistant fairyceus is extremely good ive known this ever since the days of my bunny superman with the ridiculous judgment/hjk/heart swap/sap mg one. resilience vs knock and having the stronger fairy move is so nice
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2341317780 fairyceus does fucking nothing in this game but it's an extremely funny replay so i wanted to link it
Kyogre-Primal @ Fairy Feather
Ability: Pixilate
Tera Type: Water
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Hasty Nature
- Extreme Speed
- Boomburst
- Rapid Spin
- Explosion
out of all my sets, this one (along with its sister the 4atks refrigerate celesteela) has perhaps elicited the most confusion from opponents and onlookers. the idea is actually pretty simple. defensively you are kyogre, offensively you're a pixilate clicker with stats roughly equivalent to itemless fairyceus (a bit stronger in the case of boomburst). this set might just look like it's for catching people off guard (and indeed it is very fun to do that), but the underlying logic of having an extremely specially bulky mon that can spin off hazards, revenge kill fastmons, and force progress with explosion is surprisingly sober.
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/...80233210-pgqzog5ig5r8hbst2czru3cor3wjsogpw?p2 felt like a bad person for doing this
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2180259021-wp9diy2j2qfuu2l83i1g55sfg01lcqnpw explodes on the dialga, alleviating spikes pressure and allowing me to win a grindy positional midgame
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2249200301-47ke3ufdz6x0qb9z0p8dhjhaq0qlz83pw i go for a speed tie on opposing imposter, hit it, and the game's over. without imposter, opponent can no longer harass my hazard + recover guys
Chansey (F) @ Eviolite
Ability: Imposter
Tera Type: Normal
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 252 SpD
Relaxed Nature
IVs: 0 Atk / 0 Spe
- Block
- Heal Bell / Haze / Topsy-Turvy
- Transform
- Roost
transform is the best imp. ever since
Greybaum suggested it to me ive put it on all my teams. it's the only chansey that gets you a consistent advantage from losing the imp tie on lead while maintaining block to stop them from stealing your heal bell later. the idea is pretty simple, if their imp activates t1 then you spam transform, they have to switch out due to block, and you'll transform into an opposing mon and see what it's up to. very useful.
Arceus-Steel @ Stone Plate
Ability: Levitate
Tera Type: Steel
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Def / 252 SpA / 252 SpD / 252 Spe
Naive Nature
- Take Heart
- Judgment
- High Jump Kick
- Strength Sap
this is the stupidest fucking set ive ever used but it keeps randomly winning endgames and i dont really know why
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2285846406 funny game
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/gen9balancedhackmons-2285861343-4kdeufh8ud9jaehy2etns5vxejmza26pw even funnier game featuring action from the greatest to ever do it mandibuzz and transform imp outright winning an endgame. this is easily in my top 5 svbh replays and its a tough contest
enjoy fun game wacky pocket monster