Dating mind games

majesty

Okay...after being single for 2 months now after a long relationship that killed my soul, I am back on the prowel. First girl to like me stopped calling back cause I (god forbid) called when I said I would or when she asked me to. I don't understand.

Now I have a new one, we hit it off amazingly well. I'm 99.9% sure she's interested and I am interested in her. I met her today, we had 30 minutes of hangin out and a great conversation. I got her number and said I'd call it when I get a chance in the next few days.

I called her a long while later today, but got a machine. Ugh. Not wanting to be a douche, I left a message with my number and said I'd try her again later. I'm not going to call, of course...and if she inquires, my phone died...unless she calls me. I'm betting money she won't, cause she's female.

Why is it that girls bitch about guys not calling for 3 days but then get creeped out and run away when a guy calls in a timely fashion? I don't want to fuck up with this one like the last one. What the hell is the strategy here!? *


*switches out to specsmence or any other pokemon WON'T help. It's a shame, I would win if I could just do that.
 
honestly from what i have been told, do not be so eager. Let her get attached and try not to get attached at the same time. I've never had a gf so my experience is somewhere near floor level, but I have found that my best shots have occured when I didn't do any of the work. sucks though, because I don't mind doing the work. lol, I'm only 19 though, so I'll give myself about 8 more years until I declare myself an "official loser"
 
Not wanting to be a douche, I left a message with my number and said I'd try her again later. I'm not going to call, of course...and if she inquires, my phone died...unless she calls me

Have you no subtlety? That is stupidly obvious.
 
Surgo said:
Not wanting to be a douche, I left a message with my number and said I'd try her again later. I'm not going to call, of course...and if she inquires, my phone died...unless she calls me

Have you no subtlety? That is stupidly obvious.
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well advise then...what now!?

edit: do i stick to what I said and risk instant "omg stalker" death or just not call?
 
how do people not get this yet its just a way of life. if a man is busy and has other priorities he is obviously more worth having than otherwise. it's just like most men don't find easy girls attractive, even though you'd think they would
 
yeah, not caring is the most important thing in getting girls interested in you. kinda unfortunate, that.
 
m0nkfish said:
how do people not get this yet its just a way of life. if a man is busy and has other priorities he is obviously more worth having than otherwise. it's just like most men don't find easy girls attractive, even though you'd think they would
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wow, i seriuosly have never thought about this before. That's it... next semester im going to take 23 credit hours, work 60 hours a weak, join a couple of frats, oh and try to save the world.
 
It may be true that you have to play the "I don't really care" guy, but once you get her, (at least from my experiences) you have to start caring all the time and make sure she knows it all the time.
 
nardd said:
It may be true that you have to play the "I don't really care" guy, but once you get her, (at least from my experiences) you have to start caring all the time and make sure she knows it all the time.
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yes, this is very true. You kinda have to shift. Besides, haven't you had a gf before? Do what ever you did to get that one. No girl is the same, but at the same time.... they are all the same.... every last one of them.
 
im just at the conclusion that girls are crazy.

for so many reasons.

also.

no matter if your her first or 900 boyfriend.

shes a fucking expert at fucking with you.
 
toy said:
im just at the conclusion that girls are crazy.

for so many reasons.

also.

no matter if your her first or 900 boyfriend.

shes a fucking expert at fucking with you.
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The girl I just got out of the relationship with was so bad at that. She didn't try nor did she know how to fuck with people...til her mom taught her after 2.5 years of dating and 1 year of living with her. DAMN IT!! So there is hope...but this girl is in a tier of hotness (I think) above mine. She likes me, I'm sure of it, but she's definately playing the games.

Okay. Should I:

A. Call her like I said I would
B. Wait til tomorrow to call her
C. Wait til I see her in Class on Friday (I wanted to see her tomorrow :()
 
The Art of Seduction- By Robert Greene

pick it up at your local B&N or wherever you get books, it's a very interesting and informative read on snaring your intended target with decent advice on determining your best approach to seduction and identifying how to capitalize on a person's strengths and weaknesses in romance

alternatively, it would be revealing in matters concerning whether you are snared or not >.>
 
majesty said:
The girl I just got out of the relationship with was so bad at that. She didn't try nor did she know how to fuck with people...til her mom taught her after 2.5 years of dating and 1 year of living with her. DAMN IT!! So there is hope...but this girl is in a tier of hotness (I think) above mine. She likes me, I'm sure of it, but she's definately playing the games.

Okay. Should I:

A. Call her like I said I would
B. Wait til tomorrow to call her
C. Wait til I see her in Class on Friday (I wanted to see her tomorrow :()
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At this point I think you're in trouble either way. If you call her again really soon then that's bad, but if you don't call her when you said you were going to, that makes you unreliable. I think the best choice of the two is to just try calling her again. You also have to remember that I'm married, so my advice could be terrible <_<
 
You're asking for dating advice on the internet.
You're asking for dating advice on an internet Pokemon COMPETITIVE BATTLING message board on the internet.

Ok, so now that we're clear with that.
Your first mistake (with the second girl) is that you left a message saying, "Welp, guess I'll call back later." That phrase right there was the pre-dating equivalent of downing a jug of glass shards and Ebola. Don't do that. Ever. And if a girl does call you back if you make that mistake (aside from the immediate call-back w/ "lol i wuz in the shower ^_^" aka taking a dump, which means they've called before hearing you being desperate), you might want to double check your sources as she may be quite desperate herself. This is not always a bad thing if you're going in just to bang her, but this may come up as an issue later in the relationship, particularly if she's especially clingy or jealous.

Secondly, how soon are we talking about calling the first girl? Do you see her at school every day? How frequently were you calling her? The problem is that girls like having you call them (they like attention), but having you call frequently or every day when you're not "dating" is kind of creepy, especially if you're awkward on the phone or boring. Girls are particularly fickle sometimes, too, and maybe your obvious show of increased interest made her less excited to be interested in you.

Finally, with girl 2, waiting 3 fucking days is a LONG time, especially if this girl goes to school with you. If you see her at school somewhere, strike up a conversation but don't bring up the fact that you called her or if she got a message from you. If things go well in the casual conversation, chances are she didn't check her messages or calling you back simply slipped her mind. Give her another call assuming things go well the next time you see her. I would not recommend calling her again unless she calls you back first, though.
 
I've had kinda the same problem with this girl I like now, and I seeked advice from a close female friend of mine. I asked her and she said not to call too often to look real keen, but call her regularly still to show that you care about her. A general pattern I was told was to call every second day, and after the third day of calling her, leave a two day gap.(Doesn't have to be strictly that, but I find that to work well). I have to call more regularly then others might though as I don't go to her school or see her every day, but so far its been working pretty well.

EDIT: By the way, I just read Kijin's post and I've found what he said to be pretty accurate, so listen to what he has to say.
 
Yes, well this is being put into a database in my brain. I've asked many female friends, all of them are inconsistent. My male friends are all more loserish than I (LOL) so they are useless.

At any rate, the first girl I said I'd call on a friday- I did. After a decent talk she said she'd call me back....8 hours later, she finally did. We were supposed to do something the next day, so I called her to confirm. She didn't answer, nor did she ever call back again. Bitch.

This new girl I didn't call. It's not that big a deal, I see her every MWF from now til december, as we just met on wednesday. So I'll see her in class on friday and guage how things are goin'.
 
Relax a little bit, you seem a little too needy and that comes off as creepy to most girls. Don't force anything either since you can never force anything that isn't really there. Just because you have a good conversation with a girl doesn't mean anything. She could just be acting nice and polite or just think of you as a friend and not a romantic interest. Guys tend to misinterpret kindness for attraction too often and that leads to an embarrassing moment for you down the road. Best advice I can give is just don't keep your hopes too high when pursuing any girl and play everything cool. Odds are you barely know the girl so it shouldn't be a big deal if she's not interested.
 
Carl said:
Relax a little bit, you seem a little too needy and that comes off as creepy to most girls. Don't force anything either since you can never force anything that isn't really there. Just because you have a good conversation with a girl doesn't mean anything. She could just be acting nice and polite or just think of you as a friend and not a romantic interest. Guys tend to misinterpret kindness for attraction too often and that leads to an embarrassing moment for you down the road. Best advice I can give is just don't keep your hopes too high when pursuing any girl and play everything cool. Odds are you barely know the girl so it shouldn't be a big deal if she's not interested.
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Yeah I stopped caring at some point last night. I was stupid to misplace hope with someone I don't know. Thanks.
 
The key to success in dating is being happy with yourself alone. If you don't need girls you'll find it infinitely easier to find them. It's a bitch, but just focus on other things, try learning a few new skills, make some new friends etc. Then before you know it you'll be asking advice on the internet about which girl to choose :D
 
m0nkfish said:
The key to success in dating is being happy with yourself alone. If you don't need girls you'll find it infinitely easier to find them. It's a bitch, but just focus on other things, try learning a few new skills, make some new friends etc.
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I agree that he should def be happy on his own, but distracting yourself with random other things doesn't really lend you any "me" time.

Additionally, yeah, Carl is very right (especially in a college setting. I dunno what school level you are atm); just because you have a girl's number doesn't always mean you're going to wind up dating her.

I think your best immediate course of action, aside from not coming across kind of creepy to girl2, is to take a brief life inventory and figure if you're not just trying to have a relationship because you feel like you need one. Because if you are and you keep jumping around between girls trying to get one to date you, not only are you going to be demoralized, but you may not make any friends with them in the meanwhile and, assuming each girl doesn't live in a vacuum, probably have word spread around that you're trying to prey on girls who are kind to you. You'll be triple out.

Play it cool and like chaos said, don't be so desperate.
 
I'm 5th year university (at 21 years old). At any rate, I'm mostly just trying to meet new people cause I am sick of sitting in my basement all the time drinking beer.

Well I'll see what happens. I have alot in common with her and I'll just try to get to know her better without smothering her in lameness.

Thanks for the replies.
 
majesty said:
Well I'll see what happens. I have alot in common with her and I'll just try to get to know her better without smothering her in lameness.
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Yeah. Your best bet is to not charge in expecting a relationship and be fluid enough to adjust if it looks like it's headed that way.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Other fish in the sea, etc.
 
okay, first of all i think one of the biggest mistakes a lot of guys make is the whole "wait for 3 days so you don't seem desperate blah blah blah" NO. I might be young, but in my experience, calling the next day does not mean "desperate", it means "interested". call her while your charm and panache is still fresh in her mind. the longer you wait, the less they're going to remember, and the higher the chance they're going to meet another guy. i just never saw the logic in it, personally.

re: your specific situation. i dunno bitches is hos man, bitches is hos.
 
majesty said:
*switches out to specsmence or any other pokemon WON'T help. It's a shame, I would win if I could just do that.
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You've already tried doing a barrel roll?

Seriously, the best advice that I can give for anything that involves getting something from someone else is to show that you'll be able to get by if you don't get what it is that you're asking for. Have a backup plan, be sure that they know that you have a backup plan, and your backup plan, by virtue of existence, will negate its need. This applies nearly everywhere: dating, business, and especially Pokemon.
 
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