Dumbass technology to point and laugh at

Theorymon

Theorymon

Have a wonderful day, wahoo!
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With NFTs and Cryptobros making constant fools of themselves, I am once again reminded of this fact: technology can be stupid. It doesn't matter how well engineered or programed a product is, if the very concept of it is dumb as hell! So join me, let's share pictures and stories of dumbass inventions that never had a chance! I got one to get us started!

The Juicero (2016-2017)



What the hell is this thing?

The Juicero was touted as the NEXT GENRATION for juicing stuff. The dude who created it called himself the Steve Jobs of Juice (yes, seriously lol). This isn't your grandma's juicer, this thing connected to the INTERNET to juice! Now you might be wondering, why the fuck does a juicer need to connect to the intenret?! The reason is...

JUICE DRM

I am not shitting you, this fucking thing had juice DRM, akin to those later Kreuigs people really hated. See, this thing squeezes a bag of chopped up fruit and vegetables, but you needed to pay for a weekly subscription of bags, which this thing would scan the QR code of and then connect to the internet to verify. So you can't chop it up yourself you JUICE PIRATE!

This thing cost 700$ at launch, but got slashed to 400$ because surprise surprise, most people thought this idea sucked ass. To make things even more comical, Bloomberg reported that you could squeeze the juicebags yourself, making the 400$ machine even more worthless!

It only lasted a year before shutting down.

And of course when it shut down, since this thing needed the internet to work, anyone who bought this thing was left with an overengineered paperweight! Oh well, at least we got amusing videos like this about someone taking these things apart!


Anyways, share other examples in this thread!
 
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TailGlowVM

TailGlowVM

Now 100% more demonic
There are thousands upon thousands of apps that render tools formerly vital to mankind redundant, can educate users far beyond the wildest dreams of a book, or are merely entertaining like your favourite TV show, but there are also loads that do completely useless things. If you download the apps for them, suddenly your phone can do all this:
  • Ring a bell
  • Look and even sound like an electric razor
  • Have a monkey stare at you
  • See how well you can kiss
  • Throw a cow and get points for it
  • Play with your door stop
  • Become a tiny radiator nope, iPhones got updated so the app only looks like it does that now
  • There's also someone who thought it was a good idea to be able to convert your screen into scales...
 
Voltage

Voltage

OTTN5
is a Pre-Contributor
Honestly, most DRM is really stupid these days, but let me tell you about one of the most obnoxious and infuriating uses of DRM these days.

I think about how John Deere tractors from the 80s and 90s are literally the best machines on the market because the newest models have DRM with specific parts that you can only replace with, I shit you not, a John Deere employee coming out to your land service your tractor. It's the dumbest thing that farmers have to deal with in this day and age, that they literally aren't able to fix their own new tractors, and per the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act (you might recognize from the fun acronym 'DMCA') farmers could be ordered to pay up to a half a million USD if found violating this. And John Deere made an agreement in 2015 to remove this part from their tractors... the year is 2022 and literally nothing has changed. John Deere is monopolizing the tractor service market because of their own shitty and stupid DRM. And you wonder why farmers in the United States these days are fed up with additional costs that cause them to lose profits to go towards supporting their families. Seriously, look up farmers suing John Deere and "The Right to Repair" (because in general companies preventing the end user from doing their own repairs on products is ridiculously dumb imo).

DRM is a disease. I have yet to find an example of DRM that has benefitted the user of the technology. And yes, I understand that DRM is useful to those who make the product, especially for small creative, but on a much larger scale it just fucks up so many things for the end user.
 
boo836

boo836

xzern said:
those new-fangled cars funded by the son of that south african emerald miner have a tendency to burst into flames and trap the passengers inside
Click to expand...
Smh you just dont understand the self-made genius of the apartheid heir who bought the rights to call himself the founder of Tesla. If Elon weren't an honest man and the real deal, why is he trying to buy the web's most prolific disinformation platform?
 
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