Hattrem (QC 1/2)

[Urushifu]

[SET]
name: Defensive Magic Bounce
move 1: Psychic
move 2: Giga Drain
move 3: Nuzzle
move 4: Healing Wish / Mystical Fire
item: Eviolite
ability: Magic Bounce
nature: Bold
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
The only viable Pokemon with access to Magic Bounce, Hattrem establishes a small niche on teams with it's ability to stop passive entry hazard setters such as Sandaconda and Ferroseed, allowing offensive pivots the ability to switch in and pivot around without jeopardizing their HP. Hattrem's moveset is tailored to allow Hattrem to threaten common entry hazard setters and deter them from staying in. Psychic is Hattrem's STAB and is super effective against Toxic Spike users. Giga Drain allows Hattrem to hit Stealth Rock users super effectively such as Sandaconda and Piloswine. Nuzzle is a good utility move that allows Hattrem to cripple switch-ins such as Skuntank and Silvally-Dark, along with Stealth Rock users such as Miltank and Clefairy that are not threatened out by Hattrem. Healing Wish gives Hattrem extra utility, especially on the offensive teams Hattrem is commonly seen on, as they often lack recovery or clerics. Alternatively, Mystical Fire is an option to deter Steel-type entry hazard setters such as Stunfisk-Galar and Ferroseed.

Hattrem fits onto offensive teams that need to ensure entry hazards are not set up so pivots and wallbreakers are not whittled down through entry hazards. Avoid switching Hattrem into potential Knock Offs as it's bulk is considerable worse without Eviolite, instead try bringing Hattrem in through pivoting moves such as U-turn and Parting Shot. As for teammates that can facilitate this, Dark-types such as Silvally-Dark and Alola Persian act as Knock Off switch-ins along with offering the ability to pivot Hattrem into entry hazard setters safely. Bug-types such as Accelgor and Ninjask appreciate Hattrem's ability to stop entry hazards as their ability to function as pivots are severely hampered by the presence of Stealth Rocks, especially if choosing to forgo Heavy-Duty Boots, while Hattrem appreciates the U-turn support they offer. Basculin and Choice Specs Decidueye are additional pivots and are able to come in and wallbreak more effectively without the ability to be whittled down through entry hazard damage. Kangaskhan appreciates Hattrem's ability to prevent residual damage from accumulating, as well as Hattrem being a way to preserve momentum against Kangaskhan's switch-in's, such as Sandaconda and Ferroseed.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Urushifu, 522724]]
- Quality checked by: [[Ho3nConfirm3d, 231074]], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

 

[Urushifu]

should be ready for QC :)

 

[S1nn0hC0nfirm3d]

Comments in Bold and Strikethrough

[SET]
name: Defensive Magic Bounce
move 1: Psychic
move 2: Giga Drain
move 3: Nuzzle
move 4: Healing Wish / Mystical Fire
item: Eviolite
ability: Magic Bounce
nature: Bold
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
The only viable Pokemon with access to Magic Bounce, Hattrem establishes a niche on offensive teams, being able to stop passive entry hazard setters like Sandaconda and Ferroseed (added examples). Psychic is Hattrem's STAB and is super effective against Toxic Spike users such as Garbodor and Weezing. Giga Drain allows Hattrem to hit Stealth Rock users such as Sandaconda and Piloswine, along with common bulky water pivots, such as Wishiwashi and Lanturn super effectively (remove hyphen). Nuzzle is a good utility move that allows Hattrem to cripple switch-ins such as Skuntank, (remove comma) and Silvally-Dark, (AC) and punishes bulkier entry hazard setters like Miltank and Clefairy (Nuzzle is one of the better ways to punish these setters as they just recovery off any other damage). Healing Wish gives Hattrem extra utility, especially on the offensive teams Hattrem is commonly seen on, as they often lack recovery or clerics, allowing it to fully heal a crippled teammate late-game (Fluff, this is just explaining the move, and you already justified its usage). Alternatively, (AC) Mystical Fire is an option to hit Steel-types (add hyphen), (RC) entry hazard setters like Ferroseed and Galarian Stunfisk. that would otherwise check Hattrem, on the switch-in such as Togedemaru and Magneton. (while this last section is true, hattrem's main purpose is actually beating these hazard setters and not succumbing to Knock Off / Gryo Ball or Earthquake damage, and that's the main purpose of Mystical Fire)

Hattrem fits best on offensive builds, (RC) that appreciate Hattrem's ability to prevent hazards without sacrifing sacrificing momentum as Rapid Spin and Defog do. Avoid switching Hattrem into potential Knock Offs as it's bulk is considerable worse without Eviolite and instead... (add teammates that can take a knock off. Maybe combine this with your Dark-type teammate point?). Kangaskhan appreciates Hattrem's ability to counter physical walls such as Sandaconda and Ferroseed, if running Mystical Fire, while Kangaskhan appreciates Hattrem's ability to prevent entry hazard damage from accumulating. Thawkey allows Hattrem passive recovery through Grassy Terrain, while Hattrem is able to threaten the poison type's that Thawkey struggles against (See below about the last two sentences). Dark types such as Silvally-Dark and Alola Persian threaten Ghost types that Hattrem is weak against along with offering the ability to pivot to Hattrem, bringing it in safely.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Urushifu, 522724]]
- Quality checked by: [[username1, userid1], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]

I did some basic grammar GP stuff in the first paragraph, but the direction of where to take Hattrem feels misguided. Hattrem is a very niche supportive Pokemon, and its purpose is preventing entry hazards so that offensive and pivoting teammates like Ninjask, Accelgor, and Basculin don't have their HP jeopardized. Additionally, Hattrem's coverage is meant to deter entry hazard setters first and foremost rather than hurting switch-ins, so that mostly had to be rewritten; while STAB attacks usually aren't mentioned in the first paragraph, I think it can be okay here to help show how Hattrem is effective at preventing and pressuring Toxic Spikes users from doing their job.

Lastly, the Kangaskhan and Thwackey sentences focus too much on single examples, and Thwackey is both pretty niche and not even the best example anyways. Try broadening these examples. The first should include offensive teammates like Kangaskhan, Basculin, and Ninjask that get worn down by residual damage, especially entry hazards, and thus Hattrem's support is invaluable to them. The second can expand on different pivots that bring Hattrem in safely to block entry hazard attempts, or something similar to prove Hattrem's worth.

I'm sorry in advance for all the suggested rewrite I'd like to see, but I'll reiterate that I did not come off this analysis feeling like the writing struck the main purpose as to why a team would want Hattrem in the first place. Tag me when you modified everything, and put this back into WIP if you must, and I'll give it another look before I give the first QC check.

 

[Urushifu]

hey no worries at all, I'm sorry about the level the analysis is at, but I've tried to edit it to be satisfactory. Please lmk if everything is ok or what else should be fixed.

 

[S1nn0hC0nfirm3d]

Comments in Bold and Strikethrough

[SET]
name: Defensive Magic Bounce
move 1: Psychic
move 2: Giga Drain
move 3: Nuzzle
move 4: Healing Wish / Mystical Fire
item: Eviolite
ability: Magic Bounce
nature: Bold
evs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]
The only viable Pokemon with access to Magic Bounce, Hattrem establishes a small niche on teams with it's ability to stop passive entry hazard setters such as Sandaconda and Ferroseed, allowing offensive pivots the ability to switch in and pivot around without jeopardizing their HP. Hattrem's moveset is tailored to allow Hattrem to threaten common entry hazard setters and deter them from staying in. Psychic is Hattrem's STAB and is super effective against Toxic Spike users such as Garbodor and Weezing, deterring them from attempting to get hazards up (fluff, you already say this in the previous sentence). Giga Drain allows Hattrem to hit Stealth Rock users super effectively such as Sandaconda and Piloswine. Nuzzle is a good utility move that allows Hattrem to cripple switch-ins such as Skuntank,(Remove comma) and Silvally-Dark, along with Stealth Rock users such as Miltank and Clefairy that are not threatened out by Hattrem. Healing Wish gives Hattrem extra utility, especially on the offensive teams Hattrem is commonly seen on, as they often lack recovery or clerics. Alternatively, (Add comma) Mystical Fire is an option to deter Steel-type entry hazard setters such as Stunfisk-Galar and Ferroseed.

Hattrem fits onto offensive teams that need to ensure entry hazards are not set up so pivots and wallbreakers are not whittled down through entry hazards. Avoid switching Hattrem into potential Knock Offs as it's bulk is considerable worse without Eviolite, instead try bringing Hattrem in through pivoting moves such as U-turn,(Remove comma) and Parting Shot. As for teammates that can facilitate this, Dark-types (Add hyphen) such as Silvally-Dark and Alola Persian act as Knock Off switch-ins along with offering the ability to pivot Hattrem into entry hazard setters safely (The sentence before needed examples, and what I added bridges the two; feel free to change it to something more your style, but try to have some connection nonetheless). Bug-types (Add hyphen) such as Accelgor and Ninjask appreciate Hattrem's ability to stop entry hazards as their ability to function as pivots are severely hampered by the presence of Stealth Rocks, especially if choosing to forgo Heavy-Duty Boots, while Hattrem appreciates the U-turn support they offer. Basculin and Choice Specs Decidueye are additional pivots and are able to come in and wallbreak more effectively without the ability to be whittled down through entry hazard damage. Kangaskhan appreciates Hattrem's ability to prevent residual damage from accumulating, as well as Hattrem being a way to preserve momentum against Kangaskhan's switch-in's, such as Sandaconda and Ferroseed.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[Urushifu, 522724]]
- Quality checked by: [[Ho3nConfirm3d, 231074], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

QC 1/2! Lookin great, thanks for your patience, and you nailed it this time around :)

 

[Urushifu]

implemented thank you :), ready for QC 2