Have you ever known someone who is being abused?

magickzzl

magickzzl

My family personally is fairly verbaly abusive, which isnt good but its only mentaly grating. Last night I had an encounter where a very good friend of mine was hit by his brother, attacked really. My friend would never hit his brother back, to he just takes it. and I come to find out its not the first time. their both adults, roomates currently, so my friend is staying with me untill we figure something out. (which is akward since my home situation isnt the most functional, but atleast everyones physicly safe) Im not a huge girl but Im going to get inbetween them i know it if it happens again. I know thats not smart, but atleast I have some training on defence, unlike my poor friend. That is so not ok. Plus I know I can currently take his brother. Im faster and have alot more tenacity ;) lol

Other then calling the police (who dont care appaerently) Im not sure what to do. Their up here, 9 hours from the closest family currently.

Anyone else ever deal with abuse?
 
When my sister and I were younger, we were both verbally/physically abused by our old woman babysitter. It wasn't just us though, which is why the place was especially terrible, although abuse targeted at just one child is unacceptable. And she targeted all of us, if we ever had bad behavior. She was so strict it was just nuts: If we glanced at the television in the living room while she was watching it, she'd go ballistic and scream at us. Every child had assigned places to sleep in another room, and I got into the wrong bed by accident, and so when another child told her that I was in his bed, she came over, picked me up by my clothes, and threw me across the room into my correct bed. Not fun. Every day was like a camp, and was the exact same schedule. Get there whenever, play in the living room, lunch, watch TV, take a nap.

Eventually during summer she would let us play outside, but we'd be out there for hours, and weren't allowed to come back in if we were thirsty or had to use the bathroom or anything. I was always so relieved to go home, and even we were both old enough to not need to go there anymore, my little brother started going, and I was so afraid for him. But, that was like 7-10 years later (I don't exactly recall) when he started going, so she wasn't AS fucking nuts then, but she would make him sleep all day and not even feed him lunch, and he was as young as like 3-4 years old. I'm going to resent her for the rest of my life, even if now she's actually okay and not really at all like she was before, aside from still being a crazy old grandma.
 
I don't know anybody has suffered direct abuse (I suppose they are quiet about it) but one of my friends has a mum addicted to heroine who ran out on him (or was dumped) while the dad ( who is brilliant) looked after him. Every so often she comes back and says she is clean but after a week or so runs off again. Now te dad just keeps it secret even if she comes back. That must be hard.

Also, another friend of mine's mum went to prison (falsely accused) when he was one and then died two years later. He has been through loads of shit with his dad (although this has only been expressed by his dad once physically) so they moved in with his nan, aunt and uncle and it hasn't been as bad. He has also been chased by a pedophile, though that is kind of unrelated and just unlucky.

It's really hard to hear stuff like this (for me) and I can't imagine how it is to tell somebody so I admire them (or anybody who has suffered abuse) just for that.
 
My best friend had to leave her house and go to a children's home because her father would occasionally beat her. It used to be all the time, then she reported him to the police, but before she left he hit her again because he was angry at their neighbours (Who are bigots, and my friend is a Polish immigrant, but that's another story), and soon after they had a huge argument and she left.

It was incredibly hard on her, especially because she's clinically depressed and needed a supportive family around her, not the abusive one she had (although her big brother is a really great guy who does support her).
 
my girlfriend of 3 years has never been told by her mother that she loves her, nor have they ever hugged. she still lives at home. it's incredibly heartbreaking being in love with someone who has that kind of emotional baggage.
 
I know someone.

A classmate of mine was brutally mauled by his dad after being caught smoking outside school.He was one of the brains in my class.I was going to the bathroom at the time,when I noticed him sitting outside of the headmaster's office,trembling.

2 minutes later,his dad walks in after asking his son what happened.He let out a yell of rage,and seized his son with his bare hands,punching him into a bloody pulp.The whole faculty came to aid the student.They felt sorry for him after they were bitter with him.I felt lucky that my dad talks to me and,well,not verbally abusing,but makes you feel guilty about what you did.

So that's my story.
 
a close friend of mine just up and disappeared for a three month period back when we were in highschool. when she came back, she was more distant than before, but eventually somewhat re-settled into her groove. everyone knew that something was up, but didn't want to force her to talk about (actually one guy did try to, but a group of us pulled him aside and convinced him to let her be).
about six months after her return, we started dating. it was going well, until one night -near the end of our first month together- when we were making out, and she just started shaking and crying, then begging me not to touch her.
after that we were never as close. i tried to get her to talk to me about what happened, fearing i did something wrong. it wasn't till almost a year after the incident that a mutual friend found out that she had been raped at a party right before the disappearance. he decided to tell me since he saw the negative reaction of me thinking i had done something to hurt her was causing.
if i had known all this i still don't know what i would've done, but i would try to at least be there for her through all her hardships.
this was all in my junior year of highschool, and we haven't seen or spoken to each other since graduation.
 
My dad beat my mom and I up on a pretty regular basis from what I'm told. It ended when my mom kicked him out, but I have no recollection of it. He's pretty fucking awesome these days though, so I could honestly care less since I'm not even quite sure if it really happened.
ferron said:
a close friend of mine just up and disappeared for a three month period back when we were in highschool. when she came back, she was more distant than before, but eventually somewhat re-settled into her groove. everyone knew that something was up, but didn't want to force her to talk about (actually one guy did try to, but a group of us pulled him aside and convinced him to let her be).
about six months after her return, we started dating. it was going well, until one night -near the end of our first month together- when we were making out, and she just started shaking and crying, then begging me not to touch her.
after that we were never as close. i tried to get her to talk to me about what happened, fearing i did something wrong. it wasn't till almost a year after the incident that a mutual friend found out that she had been raped at a party right before the disappearance. he decided to tell me since he saw the negative reaction of me thinking i had done something to hurt her was causing.
if i had known all this i still don't know what i would've done, but i would try to at least be there for her through all her hardships.
this was all in my junior year of highschool, and we haven't seen or spoken to each other since graduation.
Click to expand...

I had the same thing going on. My ex was sexually abused by her grandfather, and would also go into the shaking and crying thing. We dated for about 4 months and the panic attacks happened in my presence about 10 different times until she eventually broke up with me because of them. I know this is pretty bad, but it always made me feel horrible because it was like she was comparing me to her grandfather.
 
If it's any consolation, she wasn't. Association is just a very powerful thing. A lot of the time it's not so much the actual assaults that fuck you up in that regard re: screwing other people, but the context and ..societal expectations, perhaps? around them.

i.e. it's not so much 'I was raped by my grandfather and that reminds me of that', it's 'I was raped by my grandfather, and I've felt like a slut ever since, if I enjoy sex now it can't have damaged me that badly so perhaps I enjoyed and/or wanted it anyway and he didn't stop when I wanted him to so if that was so terrible how am I putting myself into such a position with another human being voluntarily oh my god' etc.

Uh. Yep. Just takes time.
 
Odd. Social services took me away from my mom because they thought I was being abused (when I wasn't) and there's people who may actually need/want their help.

Actually the only time I've ever thought I've been physically abused is by a social worker. Apparently if you refuse to talk to them they'll kneel on your back.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top