denizens of this website, i make this post with fear in my heart. though more obscure than those above, i have unraveled several more clues left by our mysterious whistleblower, uncovering some very dark truths. don't believe me? then read on....................
i decided to continue in a similar vein to the op of this thread, examining the names of subforums to see if any more would bear fruit. my search began in smogon's recruitment and brainwashing centre, battling 101. nothing about the name immediately raises any alarm bells, but what if we were to spell it out a little more clearly, as battling one oh one? this yields a number of phrases, most of which are seemingly complete nonsense, but one caught my eye: nonnegotiable hot. now, this may seem at first to be similarly meaningless, but something about it stuck in my mind as i continued on my intellectual travels.
continuing along my train of thought, i arrived at the station for orange islands, smogon's one-stop-shop for things that are pokemon, but not the way smogon likes it. where better to go than this most concentrated pocket of resistance to smogon's evil? additionally, the orange islands haven't appeared in the series since like the 80s or some shit - another attempt to draw attention, perhaps? why keep such a dated reference long after dumping dragonspiral tower and stark mountain? thirdly, "orange islands" sounds pretty tropical, which seemed like a logical step from "nonnegotiable hot".
anyway, after hours puzzling over the name's meaning, i finally deduced the clue left for us by smoganon - the name could be re-arranged to form the phrase: "signaled arson". this immediately set the alarm bells ringing - arson?!? that's a Bad Thing!!!the answer seems clear: tom smogs, or perhaps his egotistical mother, has been committing brazen acts of fire-setting, likely in an attempt to claim insurance money and restore some funds to the smogon coffers.
faced with this troubling discovery, i was enraged. needing to let off some steam, i took a trip to the battle stadium. unfortunately, i am a goat-tier battle spot fighter, so defeating the swarms of cartridge players who came to me provided no real mental stimulation. i idly cast my mind around, mulling over the name of the forum. surely they couldn't all be hints............. could they?
then it struck me. the name plainly conceals a further clue: ultimata debts. this odd turn of phrase presented no difficulty to a whip-smart intellectual brain such as my own - smoganon is clearly trying to tell us that the arsonist is being blackmailed into their actions (they have an ultimatum to fulfil their debts) by either mr. smogs or his mother - the latter seems more likely, given her apparent determination to save smogon from financial ruin at any cost. but then this begs a further, more pertinent question: who is the arsonist? well, dear reader, the answer may shock you. but before the big reveal, i should explain how i reached this conclusion:
after fending off a rabid army in the battle stadium, my mind instantly went to the other forum on this website that could be described in such terms: our very own smogoff. the answer here is rather straightforward - the forum's name alludes to a fog of Ms. in the absence of anyone named this (as if smoganon would make it so transparently obvious!), i decided to dig deeper - but bear this in mind as we go forward.
the first subforum i noticed with an "m" in its name (as i was convinced this was my strongest lead to the arsonist's identity) was pokemon showdown!. surely a forum named for smogon's flagship battle service wouldn't yield anything? but such is the beauty of smoganon, friends - since the very day of showdown's conception, its name has taunted us with knowledge. deciphering this one (and adding some necessary punctuation, as hinted to us by the presence of the exclamation mark) gives us the awful truth. brace yourselves, smogoffians - this is where our story turns really dark.
monk's owned - whoop!
yes, it is with a heavy heart that i reveal the identity of the firestarter - our very own monkfish (i fear to tag him, lest he discovers that i know the truth............) is under the thumb of mama smogs. a sad day for us all, despite the celebratory tone of the clue.
by this point in my investigation, i was utterly hooked. i had to go deeper, had to know more. i was determined to take this thing as far as i could. our brave detective az uncovered the conspiracy's dastardly links to inside scoop, but what of that other great decision-making engine, policy review? perhaps here i would find more information on monkfish's exploitation, i thought; as ever, i was entirely correct.
you know the drill by now, comrades: i re-shuffled the letters in the name to reveal a truly shocking command: pierce low, ivy. the meaning once again explains itself - smogoff moderator ivy has been behind the blackmail of monkfish (a low blow indeed) all along! indeed, i would even go so far as to hypothesise that ivy's eventual position at the head of this forum was a reward for his callous manipulation.
but ivy couldn't become moderator of smogoff if there was no smogoff, could he? the logical extrapolation is that tom smogs's mother was behind the destruction of firebot. "but detective clefairy!" i hear you cry, "what could this megalomaniacal matriarch possibly stand to gain from such an act? was ivy's promotion so important?" alas, my friends, i have only speculation. perhaps mama smogs viewed illustrious users shade and brightobject as obstacles standing in the way of her plan and desired their removal; perhaps she simply saw the name (firebot) as too obvious a hint towards her insurance scheme. i cannot say for certain, but know this: this runs deeper than any of us could possibly conceive. i am certain that there is much more to be uncovered here - i am happy to rest for now, knowing that i have helped at least somewhat towards the exposure of this cunning plan.
my time here draws to a close. the involvement of monkfish proves that no badged user can be trusted - hope lies with us, the plucky, badgeless users of the forum. always remember, as smoganon says, WWP1WPA - where we Post one, we Post all.
signing off.
tand firm, brethren. we will never surrender to these agents of deception and lies. NEVER!!!
