Look at you, chopping and weeping. Idiot.
Is this the way you go through life, your mind
A stopless knife, driven by your fantasy of truth,
Of lasting union--slashing away skin after skin
From things, ruin and tears your only signs
Of progress? Enough is enough.
Exert from Monologue for an Onion
By Suji Kwock Kim
So, my dear Smogoff users, why have I made this thread?
Because, most esteemed users, I was born with one simple need.
A need that has been supressed by Society.
A need that has left me scorned and mocked whichever way I turn.
A need that has come to define me as a person, and has
shaped the way I view the world.
I, dear Smogoff users, am thirsty for Onions
and will not be sated until I've had my fix.
So here's how this is gonna work. If this post gets 30 reacts of any nature,
be it Likes, Loves or Hahas,
I will take
and eat it as though it were an apple
The Onion is currently being hidden in my fridge because
it'll go off if I leave it in my drawer and,
although the scent of rotting onion is very attractive,
I don't really want my room to smell like a compost heap just yet.
FQA
Q: Why Are You Doing This?
A: To Assert Dominance
Q: How Will We Know You Have Eaten The Onion
A: I Will Record Myself Eating It
Q: Has The Onion Given Consent?
A: Onions Can't Talk
Q: When Will You Eat The Onion
A: The Day We Reach 30 Reacts, At 2am
Q: Why 2am?
A: Witching Hour
If you have any other questions then feel free to ask below
I am full of regret
