Social If you could tell your younger self something what would would it be?

there is no reason to have that "angry-carrying" of yourself after something unfortunate/sad happens all it does is take away from any potential good moments coming your way. it's okay to be angry, sad or annoyed, but carrying it almost as a badge/personality trait isn't just offputting and draining but it's a toxin to your mental and spiritual energy. mental health issues like our depression aren't an excuse when you're imposing it willfully on yourself with using something that eats at you as fuel.
the best way to handle something is be honest but be refined a bit. being upset is fair, but living in it is just going to stop you from getting to live in your actual life.


Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs superfan
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A few more things I would tell myself, knowing what all has happened (good and bad) in the past three and a half months since my last post on here:
  • Try to give your family the benefit of the doubt when your brother and his girlfriend tell you they’re going to have their first child. You (past me) have stressed out too much about other people’s relationships and unfairly felt discomfort with the news at first.
  • Even if it takes you a month and a half longer than you thought, don’t give up on trying to find a job this summer. Spoiler alert- you’ll eventually end up at a fast food joint working the front counter and unironically actually really enjoy this job.
  • In the off chance you get a chance to reconsider being a Pokémon fan back in 2010… think your decision through extremely carefully, but be warned that your decision is quite literally a canon event 13 years in the making. Your life, your friends, all of it will look different, and is that really what you want?
it's easier to define yourself then it is to re-find yourself.

if it doesnt fit you you don't need to try and fit it --- it's one thing if it's a thing you want ie learning the skills/build to go up the ladder in career etc - but if it's just energy and people that's a sign - not a test. it's better to define "this is me" and have the "Take it or leave it" than always being the one tryna "appease people" then quickly finding yourself in a spot having to re-find yourself cus you been appeasing others too long.
I'm 26, so these are things I'd tell my 18-year-old self:
  1. People aren't built to sit. You need to be active everyday and take care of your body. If you disrespect your body with eating junk and not exercising, it will come back to bite you. Get into this habit now.
  2. When people remember you, they won't remember what you said. They remember how you made them feel.
  3. Being an adult means taking ownership over your own decision making. Don't neglect your responsibilities to yourself or others because it isn't 'fun'. Part of growing up is learning how take life on the chin and move forward with a smile -- because you owe it to yourself, your friends, and your family.
  4. Video games are as addictive as any other dopamine-releasing vice; it's just more socially accepted than alcoholism, drug addiction, or other conditions. Being addicted to gaming will severely impair your social skills, ability to form relationships with others, physical & mental health, and ultimately limit your potential.
  5. In most cases, people aren't judging or thinking about you; life's too short to be self-conscious. Most people are inwardly focused on their own lives to pay enough attention to yours. Everyone, despite outward appearances, is dealing with their own demons and is just doing their best. Keep this in mind and treat everyone you interact with kindly.
listen to your best friend/sister Tia; stop going from relationship to relationship cus you may be a good person but the more tolls (for one: will spoil your heart with failures) you take hoping to rush to the answer will hit you back harsh as hell. take some time find your personal peace so you can be defined going in knowing 10000% what you will and wont take "Even if you love em"

Love is a four letter letter word that if that six letter word "Return" isnt mutual it aint worth it, never try and fill a hole you have with another - they may help but 1) it's not their job to be your answer and 2) giving the power of "the answer" to anyone else but yourself will never NOT be a mistake. Even in the best relationships it's a toll the other doesn't deserve.
As stated by many others, there's a lot that would be very inappropriate for a Pokemon forum but a few that spring to mind:

Put your foot down with people, you aren't a monster for standing your ground against crybullies that mistreat you or your friends.

Having a fancy career that makes a marginally larger amount of money won't bring you happiness, nor will it satisfy your need for acceptance.

Success is not an empirical metric, it's a personal one that only you can define for yourself.

Love has a funny way of finding you when you stop seeking it out, makes no sense but hey life doesn't make a lot of sense in general!

Stand firm in your beliefs but accept that your views aren't universal nor is it your place to make other people adhere to your worldview.

Most importantly, you've got a lot more worth and are loved much more than you could ever imagine, and never be afraid to express that same feeling to those you hold dear.
love is a journey not a destination - it dont matter who, what, where, when - the ones that matter be it people in romance/friends or hobbies/passions (that may take a lil longer) do and will prove so off mutual energy
don't long - learn and see if you meld (again in love or frustrations in art side)
we will see many highs and lows and in all relations but we have always stood true to ourselves, our backbone.
i wish i could give you that confidence retroactively.
Don't date her; just go talk to the nice girl from your Yugioh group instead, she actually cares about you and won't hurt you & isolate you from everyone you care about. Please listen to your friends and family on this and don't be a dumbass.
To not be an asshole. Trust me, it is gonna lead you nowhere. Back at MKPC, (another forum) I loved being an asshole and breaking rules. I ain't like that as much now, but there is some stuff that has been said you can't take back. And to be trustable. Because soon not a lot of people are going to trust you. Nothing...
sometimes space is the best thing for any situation that might be a lil frustrating atm.
be it work: take a vacation
a relationship: give each other space for a bit
a friendship: just let it breathe for awhile and do yall's own thing
family: be available but be self-capable enough to least be able to get away a bit when needed

space will give the retrospection, introspection, and insight to what's really worth worrying about and not.
can save many relationships and tbh one's own mental health...

the worst thing to do more often than not is "force" anything.


is a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributoris a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnus
MPL Champion
Dont force yourself into college right out of highschool just because you feel a sense of shame for being left behind. Dont do what you hate just to avoid being hated.

Spend time self improving for a year or two, learn to be a proper adult, pick up important simple skills that I decided not to super late into life (driving, cooking, work experience). Take care of your body, appearence, mental health, hygeine everything, keep it all sharp and keep good habits.

All of this wouldve been nice to hear i think.
"Love" is literally the most powerful word that exists (you'll find anger/hate [for what you felt off people, are not worth the returns] are WEAK and pathetic in comparison)
Respect it - and expect it back, don't settle but don't be shy in opening to love.
We may have been hurt in the past but we still looking for the same thing if you want love open your doors, windows, and let life come to you.
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There's nothing more dangerous than insecurity. Both in yourself and in others. Don't feed your insecurities by being nasty to others or by being nasty to yourself. Talk about your own and other's insecurities. Stay away from people who define themselves by their insecurities, they will eventually live out their issues and you'll be their victim in some way
that its okay to have to depend on people sometimes. that hyperindependence will get you nowhere fast. that you cant do everything yourself, & if you try, youll end up much worse off for it

im a pretty disabled creature in a number of ways. one of the more impactful ways is that im bedbound most of the time & have difficulties getting around, even with a cane/walker, let alone actually Doing things on top of it. it took me awhile to fully realise how bad things were getting & now my baseline is a lot lower as a result. i dont remember much at all from when i was younger, but i would tell my former self that it is allowed to ask for help, allowed to Need help. that it isnt lazy, or entitled, or whatever other manipulative buzzwords its parents used against it at the time

id advise it to approach itself with love & patience. id explain that there is love to be found in the world, that some people really Do care, & that it wont always be alone
learn how to "check yourself" when you feel the mood changing - why is it changing? even if i'm right to feel how i do am i overdoing my feeling in response?
put on calmer music, talk to people, play a game, read a book, (if at work) walk off and take a second, etc essentially just breathe a sec and be like "Okay 1) is this worth it and 2a) if it's not, why tf we reacting? or 2b) if it is, is it REALLY worth giving a reaction?"
If it is I can promise it still won't do almost any good reacting emotionally.
Take a breath.
if you knew what you knew now, you wouldn't fear "getting older" - you'd fear emotional investments on the way.
love and friendships is beautiful but value the most important relationship first; the one that makes you most capable to "be there/care/etc": the one to yourself first.
don't be cold just be like "That left you're taking isn't for me cus I'm tryna be right" when those moments happen. you can't love others right if you yourself are barren/lost.

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