Hold your breath. Cats can't see you when you're holding your breath, giving you time to open the door and run to the closest police station. Best of luck.
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I'm currently trapped in a car with a cat
- Thread starter Matthew
- Start date
I seriously hope this is a joke. I've been in a car with a cat before, I opened the door to get out and it tried to bat at my hand. That shit wasn't going to fly, so I grabbed that fucker by its whiskers and slammed it against the dashboard until it finally stopped screeching in terror. Then I safely exited the automobile.
This is a dire situation, cats are very cunning creatures, your best bet would be to outsmart it. heres how:
1) Take off your shoe works better if cat defecated on it
2) throw shoe if done correctly cat should chase after it
3) open door
4) close door while cat is distracted
5) watch as cat dies slowly in the increasing heat of the car
6) ?????
7) Profit!
1) Take off your shoe works better if cat defecated on it
2) throw shoe if done correctly cat should chase after it
3) open door
4) close door while cat is distracted
5) watch as cat dies slowly in the increasing heat of the car
6) ?????
7) Profit!
xenu
Banned deucer.
wow what a badass
I have been trying to sleep for the night, which has proven to be a very difficult thing. I'd often wake up in the middle of the night to it staring down on me, and one time it was on my chest; siphoning the life out of me.
People you also don't seem to understand the situation. If you've read this thread you'd know by now:
The cat has ruined my clothing and I refuse to touch it
it has constructed a fort out of the newspaper
picked up smoking.
As for everyone who's telling me to, "kill it," I'm afraid I can't. I once tried to kill an animal and felt so sick that I threw up. I don't want to throw up in the car making this entire experience even worse than it already is.
People you also don't seem to understand the situation. If you've read this thread you'd know by now:
The cat has ruined my clothing and I refuse to touch it
it has constructed a fort out of the newspaper
picked up smoking.
As for everyone who's telling me to, "kill it," I'm afraid I can't. I once tried to kill an animal and felt so sick that I threw up. I don't want to throw up in the car making this entire experience even worse than it already is.
BurningMan
fueled by beer
If the cat started to smoke all you have to do is wait about 30-50 years (maybe only cat years) and it will eventually get cancer and die. If it really reproduces asexually don't worry about the offsprings as they will likely be retarded, because the cat smoked while being pregnant.
Try to get some booze and get the cat addicted to that stuff too that will likely fasten up the process .Just constantly supply the cat with alcohol once its addicted, because you won't like it when it gets sober again.
Try to get some booze and get the cat addicted to that stuff too that will likely fasten up the process .Just constantly supply the cat with alcohol once its addicted, because you won't like it when it gets sober again.
VKCA
(Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)
I'm so pleased, this is exactly what I was hoping it was.
-Examine the console in the bottom middle of the front seat
-Open the lid and take the flashlight
-Turn around to the back seat
-Examine the console in the bottom middle again
-This time you will see the back of the console, the ashtray
-Pull out the lighter and take the small key underneath
-Return to the back seat
-Click the bottom right or bottom left area of the screen to look at the backseat floor
-Examine the floormat on the right and take the knife from underneath
-Return to the backs-Screw it, stab the bastard.
-Ask cookie how he got out, after all, cats/people with ambiguously defined genders/fans of tight pants are basically the same thing.
-Open the lid and take the flashlight
-Turn around to the back seat
-Examine the console in the bottom middle again
-This time you will see the back of the console, the ashtray
-Pull out the lighter and take the small key underneath
-Return to the back seat
-Click the bottom right or bottom left area of the screen to look at the backseat floor
-Examine the floormat on the right and take the knife from underneath
-Return to the backs-Screw it, stab the bastard.
-Ask cookie how he got out, after all, cats/people with ambiguously defined genders/fans of tight pants are basically the same thing.
ok.
what you do is bust the glass with your hand. this should make u bleed. now rub the blood on the dashboard to keep the cat distracted. act fast! grab a shard of glass, and stab the cat in the back.
repeat 8 more times. those fuckers have 9 lives...
edit: oh you don't want to kill it. well now it just got difficult. what you should probably consider doing is follow all the steps above except this time you should gouge its eyes and turn the heat on. quickly! crouch behind the back seat while the cat goes wild. when it finally beats itself unconscious, make a small bag out of your shirt and take it to a vet and abandon it.
what you do is bust the glass with your hand. this should make u bleed. now rub the blood on the dashboard to keep the cat distracted. act fast! grab a shard of glass, and stab the cat in the back.
repeat 8 more times. those fuckers have 9 lives...
edit: oh you don't want to kill it. well now it just got difficult. what you should probably consider doing is follow all the steps above except this time you should gouge its eyes and turn the heat on. quickly! crouch behind the back seat while the cat goes wild. when it finally beats itself unconscious, make a small bag out of your shirt and take it to a vet and abandon it.
if it has taken a piss yet then you can go ahead and huff that, getting cheesed is a great way to come up with solutions to problems.
