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Jokes
- Thread starter Samwise
- Start date
Aeolus, your joke is lame, but I get it.
I do not get the glass eye joke by WER. Perhaps explain it to me in PM?
Here's one of my own.
Man and wife at a fete, right? And there's a guy in a plane giving rides for a tenner. He gives rides to about five people, then notices the man and wife, who were watching. So the guy says, 'I've noticed you watching me. How about I give you a ride for free? As long as you stay quiet.'
Man and wife think this is a good deal. So they strap themselves in, and do the ride. Later, on the ground, the plane guy says 'You were very quiet back there.'
Man says 'Yeah I know. Almost said something there when my wife fell out.'
I do not get the glass eye joke by WER. Perhaps explain it to me in PM?
Here's one of my own.
Man and wife at a fete, right? And there's a guy in a plane giving rides for a tenner. He gives rides to about five people, then notices the man and wife, who were watching. So the guy says, 'I've noticed you watching me. How about I give you a ride for free? As long as you stay quiet.'
Man and wife think this is a good deal. So they strap themselves in, and do the ride. Later, on the ground, the plane guy says 'You were very quiet back there.'
Man says 'Yeah I know. Almost said something there when my wife fell out.'
As long as people are posting feminist jokes...
Why did the feminist cross the road?
[Any of the following]
To iron my shirt
To suck my cock
To wash the dishes
To post my vote
To pick up my pay cheque
And what's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall?
Me, while i'm doing it.
I like them =/
Why did the feminist cross the road?
[Any of the following]
To iron my shirt
To suck my cock
To wash the dishes
To post my vote
To pick up my pay cheque
And what's harder than nailing a dead baby to a wall?
Me, while i'm doing it.
I like them =/
what do you call the world's best linguist but he is also a robot?
CHROME chomsky
what do you call the world's best linguist but he is also responsible for transporting food around a plant?
PHLOEM chomsky
what do you call the world's best linguist but he is also a nomad?
ROAM chomsky
hahaha my friend and i made dozens of noam chomsky puns
whats the differnce between a dead black guy and a dead dog in the middle of the road?
theres skid marks in front of the dog!!!
what do you call a black guy in an antique shop?
antique farming equipment!
whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?
a canoe tips!
theres skid marks in front of the dog!!!
what do you call a black guy in an antique shop?
antique farming equipment!
whats the difference between a jew and a canoe?
a canoe tips!
Guy at a bar orders his 15th drink, the barman cuts him off and says 'Come on buddy, you're done, home time.'
The guy trys to stand but falls flat on his face and just can't be arsed, so he crawls to the door. He trys to pull himself upright again but again fails spectacularly and falls down straight away. So he crawls halfway home and tries to pull his completely wasted self up on the traffic lights at the crossing...and again falls flat on his face. He decides to give it up as a bad job and crawls home, into bed and falls asleep.
In the morning, his furious wife comes and wakes him up and starts yelling at him for being a lousy drunk.
The guy tries to tell her he didn't have a drop, and she carries on yelling at him; this time for being a lyin bastard.
The guy says 'Honest my love, I'm not lying!'.
Her response: 'BULLSHIT! You left your fuckin wheelchair at the bar again!!'
The guy trys to stand but falls flat on his face and just can't be arsed, so he crawls to the door. He trys to pull himself upright again but again fails spectacularly and falls down straight away. So he crawls halfway home and tries to pull his completely wasted self up on the traffic lights at the crossing...and again falls flat on his face. He decides to give it up as a bad job and crawls home, into bed and falls asleep.
In the morning, his furious wife comes and wakes him up and starts yelling at him for being a lousy drunk.
The guy tries to tell her he didn't have a drop, and she carries on yelling at him; this time for being a lyin bastard.
The guy says 'Honest my love, I'm not lying!'.
Her response: 'BULLSHIT! You left your fuckin wheelchair at the bar again!!'