Apparently I'm good at writing about how to make very very bad Pokémon taste very very good? Or at least not entirely shit at it? Since apparently the Tynamo analysis got clearance for an upload whenever such a thing is actually possible, which was, uh, kind of unexpected. So, uh, I guess you should look at that if you want an idea of the rough tone? Although this'd obviously be more polished, since it's not a sleep-deprived "HAW HAW UBERS STUNFISK IS ABOUT AS VIABLE AS OU TYNAMO, LET'S WRITE AN OU TYNAMO ANALYSIS" deal knocked out in 10 minutes.
So! I'm proposing a very mean humorous guide to cooking and serving the dregs of LC and NU. Spinda kebab, fried Chatot, that sort of thing. Entertainment piece targeted at mocking the shit out of these Pokémon while making them sound genuinely delicious. Within the context of a single meal.
Outline, covering what each section (about two paragraphs each) would entail and what I'd be cracking wise about.
-Introduction - explain what the hell I'm doing here, establish article tone
- Appetizer: Fire & Ice Delibird Wings (hohoho, Ice/Flying is the shittiest typing ever and Delibird is the shittiest Ice/Flying ever)
- Salad: Hoppip Greens (hohoho, Hoppip isn't even useful ingame, and it comes super-early)
- Entree: Barbecued Stantler (hohoho, nobody remembers that Stantler exists)
- Dessert: Candied Sunkern (hohoho, Sunkern's fiction is as pathetic as its stats)
So! I'm proposing a very mean humorous guide to cooking and serving the dregs of LC and NU. Spinda kebab, fried Chatot, that sort of thing. Entertainment piece targeted at mocking the shit out of these Pokémon while making them sound genuinely delicious. Within the context of a single meal.
Outline, covering what each section (about two paragraphs each) would entail and what I'd be cracking wise about.
-Introduction - explain what the hell I'm doing here, establish article tone
- Appetizer: Fire & Ice Delibird Wings (hohoho, Ice/Flying is the shittiest typing ever and Delibird is the shittiest Ice/Flying ever)
- Salad: Hoppip Greens (hohoho, Hoppip isn't even useful ingame, and it comes super-early)
- Entree: Barbecued Stantler (hohoho, nobody remembers that Stantler exists)
- Dessert: Candied Sunkern (hohoho, Sunkern's fiction is as pathetic as its stats)