[LEAKED] Re: 2021 Monkfish Rebrand

[monkfish]

From: simon.chuggworth@monkfish-studios.co.uk
To: katherine.todger@monkfish-studios.co.uk
Date: Tuesday 12th January 2021, 20:49:45
Subject: Re: 2021 Monkfish Rebrand

Hi Kathy,

Happy New Year! Hope you're doing well in these trying times. Sorry for the late email, just wanted to run the final pitch past you for the rebrand of the main posting account.

As you'll recall from Friday's board meeting, our market research has shown that our core demographic have grown tired of the existing monkfish brand. Users today have shorter attention spans than ever before, and studies show that even an eight character username can have a negative impact on post engagement. My guys in the marketing dept have been working long hours to get this over the line and I'm extremely proud to introduce the new name: "mf"

With this reduction in username length we should see Likes skyrocket and we hope to see a reduction in the Hahas that have consistently hurt our merch sales. In addition, "mf" has multiple positive connotations in popular culture, and the initialism can be re-engineered to fit almost any context. It was "My Favourite" of all of the options ;-)

Let me know if you have any questions

Regards,
S

---
Simon Chuggworth
Head of Marketing, Monkfish Studios

 

[Scarf]

Naturally our adversaries at monkfish studios, villainous and dastardly as they are, are extremely jealous of my team's accomplishments in the posting world these past quarters. We've even made the move to shorten our name this past week to celebrate a glorious boost in our 'Like to Post' ratio! And now what do we see? MONKFISH (yeah, thats right, MONKFISH), in a desparate bid to keep up with us, is replicating our business strategies to a tee. Don't buy this pathetic display, folks. This e-mail is most likely fabricated and is being used as cover for their real plans: to copy me in whatever way they can. I mean, us. To copy us.

Posters, if you've any decency left in your heart, you have no choice but to join me in 'Haha' reacting the above post. 'Haha' best befits clowns such as them.

You reap what you sow, monkfish!!!!

 

[LordThemberchaud]

My company makes baked treats.
Edit: They are delicious.

 

[antemortem]

I was thinking about rebranding to mf too, but for different reasons

 

[phoopes]

I'm here to see MF DOOM

 

[az]

From: boss@az.azs
To: xxkittenharukaxx@az.azs
Date: Tuesday 12th January 2021, 22:12:45
Subject: Re: monkfish leak

No, no, no, NO!!

I don't CARE about "longevity" or "solidarity".

He's FUCKING us.

YOU'RE fucking us.

We were fucked not capitalising on monetizing the # for hashtags with #Az, and the targeted-for-the-youngsters "Swaggersaurus" affair was an absolute DEBACLE.

Do you know how much I've spent on reconfiguring qwerty keyboards just to keep this gimmick alive, just for the sake of the shareholder? We can't afford any more losses.

If "monkfish" becomes "mf" we may as well just bend over and give him the whole market.

I want an ACTUAL, MEANINGFUL, PROFESSIONAL response in my inbox before my photoshoot tomorrow, or before monkfish studios fucks us all, you'll be getting fucked with suspension and no pay.

Fix.

It.

---
[16:14:12] <THE_IRON_KENYAN> the metting of minds
[16:14:28] <~az> lol
[16:14:40] <THE_IRON_KENYAN> az: so uh captkirby? how goes your card business?
[16:14:42] * THE_IRON_KENYAN smokes pipe
[16:14:47] <THE_IRON_KENYAN> ck: shit fuck vagina bitch cock

 

[Mace]

I believe you need a transitional name, something like MoFish, or MonkFi

 

[Plague von Karma]

Is this why my Ben Shapiro thread bombed

 

[Scarf]

I believe you need a transitional name, something like MoFish, or MonkFi

 

[CaffeineBoost]

Is this why my Ben Shapiro thread bombed

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that it is...

 

[かたわれ時]

MonkFi

MonkFi, always the best posting WiFi
Edit: looks like someone before me had a similar idea

 

[Ullar]

Naturally our adversaries at monkfish studios, villainous and dastardly as they are, are extremely jealous of my team's accomplishments in the posting world these past quarters. We've even made the move to shorten our name this past week to celebrate a glorious boost in our 'Like to Post' ratio! And now what do we see? MONKFISH (yeah, thats right, MONKFISH), in a desparate bid to keep up with us, is replicating our business strategies to a tee. Don't buy this pathetic display, folks. This e-mail is most likely fabricated and is being used as cover for their real plans: to copy me in whatever way they can. I mean, us. To copy us.

Posters, if you've any decency left in your heart, you have no choice but to join me in 'Haha' reacting the above post. 'Haha' best befits clowns such as them.

You reap what you sow, monkfish!!!!

okay,

 

[Berks]

he really did it

 

[BP]

mf welcome to the two letter name club. Happy to have you chief!

 

[earl]

mf fish

 

[Mr.E]

motherfucker