Social LGBTQIA+

[skype]

I have a question: have you in any shape or form tried to have sexual or romantical relationships with other guys? Or are you waiting for the correct person to be able to explore your sexuality?

I mean, it is probably as you said. Growing in a conservative environment usually brings about this reluctance to accept onselef, regardless of your beliefs. And to be honest, it is probably not a question you should answer too outwardly if you remain in an unsafe space to do so. One of the worst experiences of queer growth tends to be fear of isolation, so always make sure that there's a caring community backing you up.

In my experience it is very scary. I remained in denial until I was 15-16 and after that I was scared shitless of coming out to other people. At that time I lived with someone who was very openly homophobic and , just like you, despite knowing it is ok, that hurdle made it hard to accept myself.

I probably don't need to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. It is just a matter of time before you can fight your own prejudice. As the post above me said: attempting therapy might be a good way to start. It doesn't need to be a healing experience per se, but there being a space for you to verbalize your discomfort and seeing it through external lens might give you some insight.

i think a lot of what you said resonates with me, especially the part about knowing there's nothing wrong with being queer but still struggling to fully accept it yourself. it's a weird feeling because i know i'd never judge anyone else for their sexuality, yet somehow i still hold myself to a different standard lol

i think i'm still figuring things out when it comes to relationships, and i'd rather not get into the more personal aspects of that. but i do think growing up in such a conservative environment has made it difficult to separate what i actually feel from what i've been taught to feel. therapy is definitely something i've considered, and i think having somewhere to talk about all of this without feeling judged could genuinely help

 

[Trawkan]

Been a straight guy myself i decided to post here cause the Subject is way too important to not be talked about, the community in Brazil is over a very difficult moment specially if the election results of this October 4th with the return of extremist right wing fascism into the country, OK we throught we had it done when BOLSONARO HIMSELF WAS CONVICTED OF AN ATTEMPTED COUP.

Still, like a vary strong disease facism is now reborn with Jair Bolsonaro's own son Flavio Bolsonaro, while you think it is just a healthy transition of power... you are so far from right... Those dudes are openly against Women voting and LGBTQ people rights to exist, first just a couple of data

Brazil still ranks first among the nations with the highest number of murders of transgender people, with 80 recorded in 2025. The figures come from the latest edition of a dossier produced by the country’s National Association of Transvestites and Transgender People (ANTRA), released this week.

The result represents a drop of 34 percent from the previous year’s 122 murders – but does not remove Brazil from the top of the ranking( AS IN ABSOLUTE NUMBER 1), a position it has held for almost 18 years.

The data are the reflection of an entire system that normalizes oppression against the community.

I will ask that, if you care about LGBTQ Rights around the world that you talk to every Brazilian friend you might have to vote against this and to denounce the risk for Brazilian democracy this upcoming month.

 

[Tragic Fantasy]

Im a Transfem pansexual, 99% of the people I know online knows this stuff, but what I'm struggling to do is come out to my best friend (who I'm in love with) and every time I try I become petrified of the of what he might say, I love him so much and I really don't wanna lose him but I also don't wanna keep this from him forever either, what am I supposed to do in this situation?

 

[Cancel cult]

I've mentioned this quite a few times here, but I'm agender. Or, at least that's what I think. Smarter people than me have gone longer without realizing they're transfem, and occasionally I'll see someone describe features of someone that match me and say they mean that person is obviously a closeted transfem. My leading hypothesis is still that I'm agender, but I'm also not always great at identifying myself, and the idea that there might be an identity out there that actually fits me sits in the back of my mind. I've tried going by she/her in the past and it didn't really go anywhere, but that could be because I did it on Discord where it doesn't often come up. I've also never properly tried on they/them, or any other set of pronouns besides the aforementioned time I tried out she/her, and of course he/him which I have been assigned from birth. A couple months ago I asked a Discord I'm in to mix up the pronouns used for me, and I don't think anyone's gotten the chance to use pronouns for me since then. Trying to figure myself out feels like I'm playing chess with myself and losing, and I wish there was an easy way to know for sure. I don't really know what I expect posting here to accomplish, but if you want to use it as an excuse to say how you discovered your identity, be my guest, it will probably bring me one step closer to climbing the downwards escalator of my identity.

Alright, so update on this. I've been thinking that I probably have depression and that me being able to do shit is being hampered by it. In desperation to actually be able to fucking do things I had an impulse to just hard pivot to some pronouns and see if anything changes.

And then, I had a dream. I don't remember much about the dream, but the one thing I do remember is that in it I came to the conclusion that I am a woman. Which could mean nothing.

But yeah I'm unofficially switching back to she/her pronouns for now. I don't think I'm at all prepared for if I do discover I'm a woman but we'll find out what I'll do if and when we get there I suppose.

 

[BestDatrix]

hi all,
those who've followed my smogon history very closely (unlikely) would certainly know I am not what, as the folks say, normal. I am, as of the writing of this post, a cis man who is bisexual with a comical preference for women. did NOT stop me from getting a boyfriend, whom I had been very good friends with for years and honestly I love him to fucking death. I had not posted in this thread for a very long time, despite my considerations. I felt far too borderline to properly consider myself properly anything past Hetcis for a very long time and now I'm a much more confident Bicis (which I do enjoy saying a lot more! The Bicis sounds like mildly aura.)
I am, however, in a bind in regards to considering what I am.
I've heard a million t girls (and a lot less t boys. seriously where are you guys? i only know ONE who's even close and i think they're masc-lean non-binary rather than a (full???? forgive my terminology) tmasc) say many a time there's a moment where they were like "yeah i probably could have worked out I was trans here" with a comical statement that set off a rube-goldberg contrapion that eventually places a big neon sign over your head with a nice little grand "Trans <3" written on it. I had what can pretty definitively be defined as that moment three years ago while I was sitting in the shower (a nasty habit of mine).
to quote myself.
"Why do tmascs exist? Why would anyone willingly want to be a guy?"
now, ignoring how this is an actual terrible way to think (for reasons i hope you understand why because i really don't know how to put into words why I know this is wrong), this is maybe as close to a tgirl canon event one can get.
Cool! Great!
So what's the issue?
The issue is that I don't fucking know. I'm very painfully self-aware which I think is adding a very unwanted self-performative dose of scrutiny into the mix. I've also really never actually experimented with myself like ever. I have like three sets of beige pants that I use for everything from casual as shit to formal occasions. They fit with everything and I've lovingly named them Omni-Pants but god forbid I rock that shit if I do finalise this potential realisation
I guess what I'm asking for is, people who have transitioned, are trying to transition, attempted transition in the past, etc.
how would you recommend I go about dipping my toe in the water and giving it an earnest go?
Thank you for listening to my plight!

 

[Adeleine]

Start with small, achievable things, and build up to the extent you want to.

Online, straightforwardly consider yourself a girl, and ask people to call you be she/her when applicable. You can also play around with customization options to help hone your female presence and what that means to you.

Tell nice, trustworthy people irl that you're a girl and ask them refer to you as she/her. If they are nice and trustworthy and tolerable about trans stuff, there is nothing you need to do to "earn" them calling you by your proper pronouns because, well, there's nothing you need to do to earn being considered your proper gender. An AFAB girl who doesn't shave her arms doesn't magically become a boy. Same rules for you.

If you're interested in changing names, play around to find what works for you. It can be something as simple as picking a girl in Pokemon and testing names (and style and accessories and such), which I certainly did! Asking people to try it out with you works too.

Cultivate your physical presence to make progress towards what you want to look like. You don't need to go in thinking "how do I become a girl" (you already are, so long as you continue to feel that way) or "how do I look like a girl" (girls look lots of different ways, and again, you don't need to earn gender).

Different people's physical self-preferences can go all sorts of ways, so some of this may not be what you want at all, which is of course totally fine, none of this is required to be a girl as before. But girls often like this sort of thing, so here are some example smaller, achievable steps. (Some of this you might already do too, which is obviously just great too.)

- Grow out your hair. (Literally involves doing nothing to it! 100)
- Shave everywhere else regularly.
- Get physical-type products that are feminine or gender-neutral, e.g. deodorant. Just as before, no need to go hyper flower maximum traditional feminine if you don't want to for any number of reasons (but obviously if you do, have fun!)
- Get clothes and accessories that give you more options. (Just like before, these don't even overtly need to be "girl's clothes." Even just brighter colors, variety, style, and accessories-versus-not can be great. There's lots of different types of clothes that can fit what you're looking for: even things like different socks and glasses can change up how you feel.
- Get some things that are as maximum girl-for-your-purposes as you want and don't feel pressured to use or wear them out in public. If you want to, that's great, but you can also just do anything at home if you're not ready to bring it public.

Gotta dip, might add more things if I remember them. Have a real one

 

[Tragic Fantasy]

hi all,
those who've followed my smogon history very closely (unlikely) would certainly know I am not what, as the folks say, normal. I am, as of the writing of this post, a cis man who is bisexual with a comical preference for women. did NOT stop me from getting a boyfriend, whom I had been very good friends with for years and honestly I love him to fucking death. I had not posted in this thread for a very long time, despite my considerations. I felt far too borderline to properly consider myself properly anything past Hetcis for a very long time and now I'm a much more confident Bicis (which I do enjoy saying a lot more! The Bicis sounds like mildly aura.)
I am, however, in a bind in regards to considering what I am.
I've heard a million t girls (and a lot less t boys. seriously where are you guys? i only know ONE who's even close and i think they're masc-lean non-binary rather than a (full???? forgive my terminology) tmasc) say many a time there's a moment where they were like "yeah i probably could have worked out I was trans here" with a comical statement that set off a rube-goldberg contrapion that eventually places a big neon sign over your head with a nice little grand "Trans <3" written on it. I had what can pretty definitively be defined as that moment three years ago while I was sitting in the shower (a nasty habit of mine).
to quote myself.
"Why do tmascs exist? Why would anyone willingly want to be a guy?"
now, ignoring how this is an actual terrible way to think (for reasons i hope you understand why because i really don't know how to put into words why I know this is wrong), this is maybe as close to a tgirl canon event one can get.
Cool! Great!
So what's the issue?
The issue is that I don't fucking know. I'm very painfully self-aware which I think is adding a very unwanted self-performative dose of scrutiny into the mix. I've also really never actually experimented with myself like ever. I have like three sets of beige pants that I use for everything from casual as shit to formal occasions. They fit with everything and I've lovingly named them Omni-Pants but god forbid I rock that shit if I do finalise this potential realisation
I guess what I'm asking for is, people who have transitioned, are trying to transition, attempted transition in the past, etc.
how would you recommend I go about dipping my toe in the water and giving it an earnest go?
Thank you for listening to my plight!

Take things slow, ones gender identity journey is not a race, your allowed to try things out and experiment with things and always remember everyone's journey will be different, but some things I've done include being unapologeticly myself when it comes to being who I am online, you just like everyone else is allowed to be who they want express yourself how you want at your own pace what works for one person might not work for you, but having and interacting with the community is definitely a good way to figure those things out! If you have questions about things ask those questions you don't have to immediately do everything all at once I truly cannot stress enough how important it is to know that your journey is solely your journey, but also doesn't mean you have to go through it alone either but that things that worked for someone else might not work for you, somone might go full out day 1 and be happy with that, but that approach might not work for someone else, that someone else might Express themself slowly by starting with small accessories or whatever and slowly expression themselves more and more. Whatever works for you just know you don't have to go through it alone. (I hope I explained that right I'm not always the best at this stuff.)

 

[ohko by scald]

hi all,
those who've followed my smogon history very closely (unlikely) would certainly know I am not what, as the folks say, normal. I am, as of the writing of this post, a cis man who is bisexual with a comical preference for women. did NOT stop me from getting a boyfriend, whom I had been very good friends with for years and honestly I love him to fucking death. I had not posted in this thread for a very long time, despite my considerations. I felt far too borderline to properly consider myself properly anything past Hetcis for a very long time and now I'm a much more confident Bicis (which I do enjoy saying a lot more! The Bicis sounds like mildly aura.)
I am, however, in a bind in regards to considering what I am.
I've heard a million t girls (and a lot less t boys. seriously where are you guys? i only know ONE who's even close and i think they're masc-lean non-binary rather than a (full???? forgive my terminology) tmasc) say many a time there's a moment where they were like "yeah i probably could have worked out I was trans here" with a comical statement that set off a rube-goldberg contrapion that eventually places a big neon sign over your head with a nice little grand "Trans <3" written on it. I had what can pretty definitively be defined as that moment three years ago while I was sitting in the shower (a nasty habit of mine).
to quote myself.
"Why do tmascs exist? Why would anyone willingly want to be a guy?"
now, ignoring how this is an actual terrible way to think (for reasons i hope you understand why because i really don't know how to put into words why I know this is wrong), this is maybe as close to a tgirl canon event one can get.
Cool! Great!
So what's the issue?
The issue is that I don't fucking know. I'm very painfully self-aware which I think is adding a very unwanted self-performative dose of scrutiny into the mix. I've also really never actually experimented with myself like ever. I have like three sets of beige pants that I use for everything from casual as shit to formal occasions. They fit with everything and I've lovingly named them Omni-Pants but god forbid I rock that shit if I do finalise this potential realisation
I guess what I'm asking for is, people who have transitioned, are trying to transition, attempted transition in the past, etc.
how would you recommend I go about dipping my toe in the water and giving it an earnest go?
Thank you for listening to my plight!

You mentioned one of the classics:
"Why would anyone want to be a guy?", but there's also:
"Every guy would be a girl if they had the choice, right?"
"What do you mean when you were a kid, you never wished to just wake up as a girl the next morning?"
"I way always envious that girls get to wear pretty clothes and make up"

If these sound like things you'd say, that's a pretty good indicator. You can also go through your child hood and look for anything that sticks out to you, but here's a head's up: if you've never really tried to remember as much of your life as possible and you really search every dusty corner of your mind, you might dig up things you tried your best to bury.

I recommend asking people to refer to you and treat you as a woman. This is probably easier online than irl. Especially when you meet new people who don't already have a different impression of you.
At any time you can try out diffrent styles of clothing and make up. Even if you ultimately conclude that you're cis, it's nice to expand your horizon.

You mentioned that you're "painfully self-aware", so I'd stay away from reading experience reports from trans women until you've made your own experiences. That way you don't have to question if what you felt were really your feelings, or if it's just confirmation bias.