Queer people do love head pats
I can attest
I can attest
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So I think the Genie might have misunderstood me.
This isn't what I meant when I said I want tits.
Also it pooped on my sleeve :(
This isn't what I meant when I said I want tits.
Also it pooped on my sleeve :(
best nap of my life for real for real
Congratulations!
hey tbh I'm kinda lost now. I'm transgender (MTF) and a week ago I make my coming out to my parents they accepted but I talked with my mom about that and now I don't feel accepted by my parents but more like they accept like it's the basic choice with my mom we talked about my transition and she was kinda shock like she don't want to loose "his son" and she can't accept who I am. I know transidentity is a new topic for them, they know anything about that and when I make my coming out I didn't have big expectations but now I have this bad feeling that I'm more a stranger to them like they have a lot of difficulty to accept who I am and my transition gonna destroy our last bond. (sorry I'm very bad at english it's not my main language and I have a lot of diffilcuties when I make big text)
I just found this while looking around forums and the pokemon community being so LGBTQ+ friendly is so awesome to me.
also
also
Try to explain to your dad, if he can't accept who you are thats totally his fault and you shouldn't blame yourself, nor consider hiding away that part of you
Tbf i don't think my dad care about that like if it's not relate to school that's useless for him he know but that's all
Hello everybody, my name is Nio! I am a pansexual and transgender (FtM) Pokémon nerd! I have MANY other labels but those are just the two I use whenever I introduce myself to people! :D
I'm new here and don't really know how everything works! Heh... I am excited to make a bunch of new friends! ^^
Anyways here's me yapping about xenogenders/neopronouns!^^
I really don't understand why a lot of people make such a big fuss over xenogenders and neopronouns, especially people who are like "Im not a transphobe, but I don't think these xenogenders/neopronouns are valid!" Like dude, who cares? Unless it ACTUALLY is a PROBLEMATIC xenogender (which there aren't very many of) what's the problem? At the end of the day, xenogenders and neopronouns are just labels and words on a screen/paper! Many people, ESPECIALLY neurodivergent folks, use xenogender(s) to help better explain, define, and/or understand their gender better! And NO, a catgender person doesn't actually identify as a cat! (unless they are an alterhuman and use catgender as a kingender) They use cats and/or their silly, aloof, curious, fluffy nature to better explain and understand their gender! And with neopronouns, I hate it when people go "I'm fine with they/them pronouns, but I am NOT going to use it/its, ze/xyr, star/starself for someone!" Why not? They're just the labels that said person WANTS to go by, it really isn't that hard to use someone's chosen name/pronouns! People also put up a lot of fuss over term hoarders, xenohoarders, and pronoun hoarders! "I'm ok with someone using a few xenogenders/labels, but whenever someone is using 10-100+ labels/xenogenders/pronouns, that's absurd!" (Sorry if you don't like swear words" Who gives a shit if someone uses 10 or even over 100 labels? That's just how they identify! You may still not understand and/or accept xenogenders and/or neopronouns, and you don't have to understand or accept them! But just leave us alone! We don't hurt you, so why go out of your way to spread hate and nasty comments about someone all because of how they identify?
I'm new here and don't really know how everything works! Heh... I am excited to make a bunch of new friends! ^^
Anyways here's me yapping about xenogenders/neopronouns!^^
I really don't understand why a lot of people make such a big fuss over xenogenders and neopronouns, especially people who are like "Im not a transphobe, but I don't think these xenogenders/neopronouns are valid!" Like dude, who cares? Unless it ACTUALLY is a PROBLEMATIC xenogender (which there aren't very many of) what's the problem? At the end of the day, xenogenders and neopronouns are just labels and words on a screen/paper! Many people, ESPECIALLY neurodivergent folks, use xenogender(s) to help better explain, define, and/or understand their gender better! And NO, a catgender person doesn't actually identify as a cat! (unless they are an alterhuman and use catgender as a kingender) They use cats and/or their silly, aloof, curious, fluffy nature to better explain and understand their gender! And with neopronouns, I hate it when people go "I'm fine with they/them pronouns, but I am NOT going to use it/its, ze/xyr, star/starself for someone!" Why not? They're just the labels that said person WANTS to go by, it really isn't that hard to use someone's chosen name/pronouns! People also put up a lot of fuss over term hoarders, xenohoarders, and pronoun hoarders! "I'm ok with someone using a few xenogenders/labels, but whenever someone is using 10-100+ labels/xenogenders/pronouns, that's absurd!" (Sorry if you don't like swear words" Who gives a shit if someone uses 10 or even over 100 labels? That's just how they identify! You may still not understand and/or accept xenogenders and/or neopronouns, and you don't have to understand or accept them! But just leave us alone! We don't hurt you, so why go out of your way to spread hate and nasty comments about someone all because of how they identify?
I agree with what you say here, my favorite saying is that mostly anything is okay as long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else in any way
I do think that transphobia, and phobia of this stuff (idk what you'd call it ) is mostly rooted in fear. 14 yo me was like, really transphobic, and it was mostly because I was fed A LOT of the lies about trans people. It kinda made me like afraid of the whole concept
After I realized I was a queer and I actually matured I realized it's not that strange
So alot of this is rooted in unnecessary fear of new things.
ALSO, alot of people dislike them because they "ruin the identity of trans people" I don't really get this one, but I have a friend who believes it's too far and makes the transphobes think every trans person wants to be a cat or whatever.
In the end... I still have no idea what half of what you said is. But yes I agree
I totally agree with you here!^^
I do agree that a lot of the lies spread about the transgender and xenogender community is purely based on fear and the own lies that a lot of transphobes and homophobes were fed on as a kid! I also remember being pretty young and a lot of my friends at the time saying that transgender people and non-binary people were demonic, along with the therian and otherkin communtities. A lot of misinformation about these communities and topics can also be impacted by culture and religion/beliefs, ever since I was very young I was my grandparents on my dad's side of the family were very homophobic and said that queer and trans people went against god, which isn't true at all.
It really sucks on how much these communities and the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole is mistreated based on fear and lies :<
It's literally not even in the bible. And even if it was that's a bs excuse for hate. If a god hates love and self expression he's NOT my god. (I'm atheist but still)
I know. It sucks sm. I hope there's a place one day I can actually be myself irl and not confined to online spaces lol
Cos the world is so hostile to us
they seem weird to most people (tbf i can see why they seem weird even if i'm somewhat used to them by now, i hope this doesn't come across as me saying the hate is valid i'm just saying i can somewhat understand why they'd be weird to most people) and unfortunately a lot of people make fun of things they don't understand which is why neopronouns/xenogenders get clowned on a lot.
Tbh it doesn't seem weird to me, but I do kinda get people like, not really using said pronouns sometimes because it's a lot to remember xd
Honestly, my take on it is that I may not necessarily understand why some people go for Neopronouns/use it/its as a pronoun, but regardless, I'll respect it anyways, simply because it was never my goddamn call to make whatsoever, and to insist otherwise is blatant bullshit; though I also don't really get why people use one pronoun exclusively and insists you call them that, because it's the only one that matches their gender, even though to me, I think of myself as a girl exclusively, I use Any pronouns, since pronouns don't have to reflect who I am and how I view myself
And I don't mind how anyone view themself by their gender, do they feel like a cisgender man/woman? Idc, let them have it, are they something outside of it that does or doesn't have a term to describe what they are? it's also completely fine too, though I don't really understand when someone that's part of the queer community, ends up insisting that someone shouldn't use pronouns that they don't agree with, simply because they don't like that, but that's extremely counterproductive, no one should have to put up with that whatsoever
It really is badass to set what your gender as, on how you view it, and no one else having any influence over it
And I don't mind how anyone view themself by their gender, do they feel like a cisgender man/woman? Idc, let them have it, are they something outside of it that does or doesn't have a term to describe what they are? it's also completely fine too, though I don't really understand when someone that's part of the queer community, ends up insisting that someone shouldn't use pronouns that they don't agree with, simply because they don't like that, but that's extremely counterproductive, no one should have to put up with that whatsoever
It really is badass to set what your gender as, on how you view it, and no one else having any influence over it
Omg true I never got this one. It feels dehumanizing. But yea, its not MY RIGHT to EVER control what others do. some ppl don't get that tho
I mean tbh it just makes people more comfortable, like I'm sort of genderfluid and mostly like they or she. But its not the end of the world if someone calls me anything else like its kinda just a label
local it/its user here, i don't feel dehumanized at all when called an it tbh, in my mind it's the same as any other pronoun. i do understand why it can be seen as dehumanizing (it's pretty obvious tbh) but personally i don't see it very differently compared to other pronouns.
I think xenogenders are interesting. I'm not personally familiar with anyone who uses them so I can only look at them through a narrow lense.
Perhaps I should clarify that I wholeheartedly agree with this:
However, in most societies there is a somewhat agreed upon binary definition of gender. (Many people have many different views, but they tend to intersect at certain points.)
The logical consequence is that there are individuals which don't fit this binary system. They are non-binary.
Once you identify yourself as prurely non-binary, you haven't exactly made a statement about your gender. Many people actually prefer that. Others would like to explicitely free themselves of gender labels and identify as agender.
However, there are also people who find comfort in having a label that describes them. I think this is the reason that some people identify as (a) xenogender.
The only "issue" (if you want to call it that) is that xenogenders aren't widely known. You yourself might know what your label means and how it applies to you, but others will often not. As a result, your gender doesn't usually convey much information about you (to the uninitiated).
Personally, I'm fine with identifying as a woman. Other people might have other ideas of who is or isn't a woman and what exactly being a woman implies, but I don't care. Even if you label yourself as agender or with a xenogender, people will still try to put you in a box and apply steriotypes to you. It's just how our brains work.
Perhaps I should clarify that I wholeheartedly agree with this:
I am of the oppinion that gender is just a social construct. Thus, there is no rigid definition of any gender and people have very different ideas of certain genders without any of them being objectively right.
However, in most societies there is a somewhat agreed upon binary definition of gender. (Many people have many different views, but they tend to intersect at certain points.)
The logical consequence is that there are individuals which don't fit this binary system. They are non-binary.
Once you identify yourself as prurely non-binary, you haven't exactly made a statement about your gender. Many people actually prefer that. Others would like to explicitely free themselves of gender labels and identify as agender.
However, there are also people who find comfort in having a label that describes them. I think this is the reason that some people identify as (a) xenogender.
The only "issue" (if you want to call it that) is that xenogenders aren't widely known. You yourself might know what your label means and how it applies to you, but others will often not. As a result, your gender doesn't usually convey much information about you (to the uninitiated).
Personally, I'm fine with identifying as a woman. Other people might have other ideas of who is or isn't a woman and what exactly being a woman implies, but I don't care. Even if you label yourself as agender or with a xenogender, people will still try to put you in a box and apply steriotypes to you. It's just how our brains work.
i think calling things "not that deep" is generally really misguided and even harmful in a lot of scenarios, but as far as what pronouns other people are using/want to be referred to as, it's really not that deep. i just don't think it matters what pronouns someone uses— it/its, ze/xyr were some of the examples cited— i will refer to people respectfully in the way(s) that they wish to be addressed.
however what is that deep is the tendency that we have to strictly categorize and identify every single niche way of being queer. i think it's kind of cringe, to be honest. i don't think we need to split everything down into such distinct categorization and try and fit everyone into neat little queer boxes— real life just doesn't work like that. people have really complicated and varied relationships with their gender and i think to distill your gender expression and/or sexual orientation down to words is really cringe.
i feel like these labels only exist to other us— that they trap and cause harm to us more than they actually help us. of course there's legitimate utility to phrases like gay, bi, trans, les, etc etc because there are genuinely a lot of instances where communicating who you're attracted to or that you're trans/GNC is essential, but i feel like the overall mechanism of these labels beyond the base concepts is only a byproduct of living in a cishet society.
part of my opinion on this probably goes hand in hand with my own gender expression— i'm amab, but i don't necessarily identify as a man or exclusively use masculine pronouns. i don't really care how i'm addressed or how other people perceive my gender identity— i just live as myself. i think shopping around for labels has been a big pain point for a lot of my brethren. it's like there's this idea that we need to fit snugly into one specific identity— to the point that even fluid identities just feel like rigid boxes to me.
i'm definitely more of a lurker in pkpcord but every once in a while i'll see someone in one of the venting channels asking other people about how they should identify themselves or worrying that their own identity is less legitimate because they don't fit all of the criteria associated with that identity. i said this earlier, but people really do have complicated relationships with their queerness, and i think our tendency to attempt to categorize every niche subidentity is only a symptom of living in a society where queer identity is not understood or accepted. i think we should be more focused on uniting as a queer community than fretting about perceptions and categorizations.
i truly strive to be nothing but unabashadly myself in all moments of my life— and i will be, irregardless of any labels that one could put on me.
however what is that deep is the tendency that we have to strictly categorize and identify every single niche way of being queer. i think it's kind of cringe, to be honest. i don't think we need to split everything down into such distinct categorization and try and fit everyone into neat little queer boxes— real life just doesn't work like that. people have really complicated and varied relationships with their gender and i think to distill your gender expression and/or sexual orientation down to words is really cringe.
i feel like these labels only exist to other us— that they trap and cause harm to us more than they actually help us. of course there's legitimate utility to phrases like gay, bi, trans, les, etc etc because there are genuinely a lot of instances where communicating who you're attracted to or that you're trans/GNC is essential, but i feel like the overall mechanism of these labels beyond the base concepts is only a byproduct of living in a cishet society.
part of my opinion on this probably goes hand in hand with my own gender expression— i'm amab, but i don't necessarily identify as a man or exclusively use masculine pronouns. i don't really care how i'm addressed or how other people perceive my gender identity— i just live as myself. i think shopping around for labels has been a big pain point for a lot of my brethren. it's like there's this idea that we need to fit snugly into one specific identity— to the point that even fluid identities just feel like rigid boxes to me.
i'm definitely more of a lurker in pkpcord but every once in a while i'll see someone in one of the venting channels asking other people about how they should identify themselves or worrying that their own identity is less legitimate because they don't fit all of the criteria associated with that identity. i said this earlier, but people really do have complicated relationships with their queerness, and i think our tendency to attempt to categorize every niche subidentity is only a symptom of living in a society where queer identity is not understood or accepted. i think we should be more focused on uniting as a queer community than fretting about perceptions and categorizations.
i truly strive to be nothing but unabashadly myself in all moments of my life— and i will be, irregardless of any labels that one could put on me.
This was frustrating to read. You do not understand why people derive intrinsic value from labels, which is fine, but instead of asking why and finding a basic understanding, you paint the approach you don't understand as cringe and wrong, insulting those who disagree with you. If you want to unify the queer community, this mindset will not help you. You gotta understand people's desires, benefits, and grievances to convince them to join you.
I'll explain three big ways labels can have intrinsic value (distinct from the communicative value you talk about). Not a comprehensive list, but big ones.
To give examples for these uses, l'll use a personal case of mine, my interactions with the labels asexual and gray ace. I use that because, compared to gender based identities and labels, it is easier to pin down and explain what exactly the labels are.
1) Labels help people find solidarity with others facing similar struggles. Different queer identities can face different challenges. Both transgender people and asexual people may worry about not satisfying physical needs of their partners, sure, e.g. not conforming to certain physical standards of their gender or not satisfying sexual desire, respectively. But they each have unique challenges too, like some ace people internalizing acephobic claims that they are biologically broken for not having a desire to reproduce. The asexual label has a quasi-communicative value here, that asexual people can know what types of people are more likely to understand and share their unique challenges, they can physically bring each other together. The label is a banner to rally around, too, often even a literal banner.
But there is also a wholly intrinsic value, that asexual people know they are not alone in their experiences and struggles. By the mere existence of the label and its common usage, asexual people can learn this dimension of experience they have is explicitly shared by multiple members of the queer community, and recognized and validated by the community as a whole. It's always best to derive this security internally when you can, but support, recognition, and legitimacy from others can help a lot, too.
Asexual is a fairly "top level" label, but the same applies for smaller labels. When I was re-evaluating my relationship to asexuality, the gray ace label was really helpful to support my internal idea that I was more receptive to sex conceptually than many other ace people. To be clear, this lens is not about conformity to a sub-community, it's about knowing that your dimension of experience is heard and understood and supported. This lens is not about "phew I can still call myself an asexual," it's about "phew it's nice to know I'm not alone in this more granular perspective towards sex."
2) Labels introduce / normalize concepts to people who might otherwise not be aware of them. They help us learn and understand ourselves and our needs. Maybe you think, humans reproduce sexually, my sex drive has gotta come in Eventually ™ and anything else is a Problem ™, but the ace label helps you learn that this is a totally possible and fine way to be. For this reason, they're especially helpful to newcomers figuring out and stabilizing their identities. Beyond helping them learn, identity labels also give newcomers a concrete point to hold onto, at least for a while, in a sea of fluctuations and changes as their relationship to sexuality and/or gender evolve.
3) Labels give ideas to help fuel development. This overlaps with 2) but is more geared at more established members of the community versus newer ones. As we grow older, we naturally acquire more nuanced and complex views of ourselves, and labels help provide ideas for possible directions for our wider and deeper views. They are "tools in the toolbox." Like physical tools, identity concepts are not single-stop answers to complicated process, instead working alongside other concepts and with more general forms of effort. You don't throw a hammer at a pile of wood to make a house, but it's sure nice to have one on hand. Identity concepts are the same way. Gray ace is not "my sexual box I fit into," but one idea among multiple related ideas. Some of those other ideas, I haven't pinned down into tidy labels, and that's fine, maybe I won't. But the gray ace label was a useful starting point for me branch off into those other ideas. "I have no sex drive, but this idea of gray ace matches me better than other asexuals who are more repulsed by sex. That's useful to know and integrate, but I also wonder why that is? Maybe further thinking, possibly with the help of established labels and concepts, can help me figure that out."
In summary, you frame labels as a people trying to find The One Predefined Answer of Themselves (as concerns x dimension), and that is a trap that people can fall into. But people can also use it to start and branch out in a broader, more holistic journey of figuring out who they are, and feeling comfortable and justified in that. Labels and Complexities We Can't Box Down aren't competing approaches, they're complementary approaches that can point out and address each others' limitations. Labels don't prevent us from being ourselves, applying and creating them are one way among multiple we can be ourselves.
Ah yes, the label discourse.
As previously said, labels are tools. They are neither inherently good or bad.
A label can help you find others to relate to and be the core of a community.
A label can also be used against you to other you or split communities.
A label can help you build your identity by providing something to hold onto.
A label can also restrict you with arbitrary rules and expectations.
For every "I am x, which explains why I y" there is "I am x, therefore I must y".
Just like a rope or a chain, a label can be something to hold on to or something to restrict you, depending on how it is used.
I don't have an answer to how labels should be used. I think that's a discussion that needs to be held by the whole community every once in a while. I just think you should recognize that people tend to have very different experiences with labels which tends to influence their opinion on them quite a lot.
Also be nice to eachother. This discussion doesn't have to be toxic.
As previously said, labels are tools. They are neither inherently good or bad.
A label can help you find others to relate to and be the core of a community.
A label can also be used against you to other you or split communities.
A label can help you build your identity by providing something to hold onto.
A label can also restrict you with arbitrary rules and expectations.
For every "I am x, which explains why I y" there is "I am x, therefore I must y".
Just like a rope or a chain, a label can be something to hold on to or something to restrict you, depending on how it is used.
I don't have an answer to how labels should be used. I think that's a discussion that needs to be held by the whole community every once in a while. I just think you should recognize that people tend to have very different experiences with labels which tends to influence their opinion on them quite a lot.
Also be nice to eachother. This discussion doesn't have to be toxic.
I really wanna know if any other people who identify as a boy or have a boy/man related identity, feel uncomfortable with certain terms used for boys/men? Like I HATE being called a man, dude, guy, male, bro/brother, and only rlly like the pronouns he/him sometimes, etc. but rlly love and feel a lot of gender euphoria from being called a boy and bubba (bubba from certain people like my close-friends/brother figures)
I jus wanna know if anyone from basically any gender identity feels like this and relates to this?
I jus wanna know if anyone from basically any gender identity feels like this and relates to this?
i am in my mid thirties now and am only starting to come to terms with my sense of sexuality. i spent my twenties desperately pretending to be straight, and falling in love with women who looked like my dead mother. trying to find her in the eyes of other women did not work; she is gone, and that is that.
i do not enjoy sex. intimacy terrifies me, and being seen in such a vulnerable state by The Other puts me ill-at-ease. i have fallen in love with both women and men, but at no juncture did i want to fuck any of them. if i could sum up my stance on sex with a phrase, it would be Do Not Perceive Me. i have always felt hopelessly separate from the world around me, and sex puts me in a place where i am objectively connected to it. i do not appreciate this place. it is possible that i will one day find someone that i trust enough to be truly intimate with, but this is not something that i am actively seeking.
to anyone struggling with their asexuality, know that it becomes more comfortable as your sense of self develops!
i do not enjoy sex. intimacy terrifies me, and being seen in such a vulnerable state by The Other puts me ill-at-ease. i have fallen in love with both women and men, but at no juncture did i want to fuck any of them. if i could sum up my stance on sex with a phrase, it would be Do Not Perceive Me. i have always felt hopelessly separate from the world around me, and sex puts me in a place where i am objectively connected to it. i do not appreciate this place. it is possible that i will one day find someone that i trust enough to be truly intimate with, but this is not something that i am actively seeking.
to anyone struggling with their asexuality, know that it becomes more comfortable as your sense of self develops!
regarding labels, i don't have an opinion about whether people should use labels in general, but i am more thinking recently that i prefer to avoid using labels for myself. i was filling out a form recently and one of the options for gender was "prefer not to answer", or something along those lines. i think right now that's what i would give in terms of gendered questions about myself: i'm not interested in answering that question. likewise with pronouns, i don't think i am obligated to tell you what my pronouns are.
i think at least with respect to labels it's important to avoid setting criteria for them - you don't need to check certain boxes to qualify as any identity, and i think treating, say, being a woman as necessarily involving having she/her pronouns is excluding non-she/her people from being women in mostly the same way that transphobes exclude people with certain bodies from being women. "woman", and "queer" and "trans" and "gay" and so on, cannot be defined, because doing so will always exclude people who don't fit the definition.
i think at least with respect to labels it's important to avoid setting criteria for them - you don't need to check certain boxes to qualify as any identity, and i think treating, say, being a woman as necessarily involving having she/her pronouns is excluding non-she/her people from being women in mostly the same way that transphobes exclude people with certain bodies from being women. "woman", and "queer" and "trans" and "gay" and so on, cannot be defined, because doing so will always exclude people who don't fit the definition.
So, this was originally going to be a far bigger post, but a lot of this was just going to be venting about something/a gateway into my philosophy and better clarification of some of the past things I said mostly made for me. But this was also including addressing the things I said in this thread that I should not have. I know it hasn't been that long relatively speaking, but I think I've grown significantly since then and have gotten less stupid. And when writing this shit, I realized I couldn't just leave this as just a section of a larger post, because some of the things I've done were appalling looking back on it. I was far past my borderline transphobic phase by the time I started posting in this thread, but you wouldn't have been able to tell by what I said. I have a really bad memory and thus can't give as much detail as I'd like, but to post some of these must have required me to be denser than lead. Now, this isn't me just apologizing for everything I said that was disagreed with, because the underlying intentions behind a lot of what I've said still stand (which I plan to elaborate on in my upcoming post, if I ever get around to it). There is an asterisk to this, which I will discuss later in this post. But
this is everything I remember that I shouldn't have said.
To start, the Sarah McBride conversation. Oh wow. Holy shit. So, the general idea in my head was that generally speaking, more people on your side is a good thing. And so I then... argued in favor of rolling over for trans rights? iirc that is, the original post was deleted I think, but if that was the case, which I think it more or less is, I am not beating the spineless democrat allegations. I cannot wrap my head around what I was thinking, which kinda stinks because I really wish I could offer an explanation better than "idk man, whoops I guess". I wish I had a better memory of what happened, but even if the lack of reasoning for my actions might undermine my apology, I do regret this a lot, and I can only hope that no one actually listened to me on this one.
To say I also regret what I can only refer to as the "nerf gun incident" goes without saying, but something in general that I also regret is my poor communication skills and ability to think before I post. There are a lot of things I've said I do still stand by, but a lot of them were misinterpreted as me advocating for more spinelessness (aside from that time where I apparently did do that of course), and I have no one to blame but myself for this. This is another symptom of my tendency to just not think things through, something I'm still working on. If it sounds like I'm trying to minimize this, I'm not. This is an incredibly dangerous habit not just for myself but for others, and I hope that I can grow to not do this.
But that's not the worst of it. One especially fucked up comment that comes to mind is the time I went on about how I wasn't a part of any minority groups that were big targets of the Trump administration. Like, what the fuck? There's no other way to put that than it was callous and inconsiderate, and I'm surprised I didn't get any backlash for that. I hope that I am more thoughtful today than I was back then, and if I ever make another comment like that, I hope I am called out for it.
I was thinking about how to end this post, and I'm not sure how to. I don't know how to summarize how much I fucked up. Just know that I think I've grown, and I will continue to grow. It's hard to tell how much I've actually grown when I primarily only have my own perspective, and I dread that I will look back on things I will say in the future in the same way, but I do believe I am moving in the right direction.
this is everything I remember that I shouldn't have said.
To start, the Sarah McBride conversation. Oh wow. Holy shit. So, the general idea in my head was that generally speaking, more people on your side is a good thing. And so I then... argued in favor of rolling over for trans rights? iirc that is, the original post was deleted I think, but if that was the case, which I think it more or less is, I am not beating the spineless democrat allegations. I cannot wrap my head around what I was thinking, which kinda stinks because I really wish I could offer an explanation better than "idk man, whoops I guess". I wish I had a better memory of what happened, but even if the lack of reasoning for my actions might undermine my apology, I do regret this a lot, and I can only hope that no one actually listened to me on this one.
To say I also regret what I can only refer to as the "nerf gun incident" goes without saying, but something in general that I also regret is my poor communication skills and ability to think before I post. There are a lot of things I've said I do still stand by, but a lot of them were misinterpreted as me advocating for more spinelessness (aside from that time where I apparently did do that of course), and I have no one to blame but myself for this. This is another symptom of my tendency to just not think things through, something I'm still working on. If it sounds like I'm trying to minimize this, I'm not. This is an incredibly dangerous habit not just for myself but for others, and I hope that I can grow to not do this.
But that's not the worst of it. One especially fucked up comment that comes to mind is the time I went on about how I wasn't a part of any minority groups that were big targets of the Trump administration. Like, what the fuck? There's no other way to put that than it was callous and inconsiderate, and I'm surprised I didn't get any backlash for that. I hope that I am more thoughtful today than I was back then, and if I ever make another comment like that, I hope I am called out for it.
I was thinking about how to end this post, and I'm not sure how to. I don't know how to summarize how much I fucked up. Just know that I think I've grown, and I will continue to grow. It's hard to tell how much I've actually grown when I primarily only have my own perspective, and I dread that I will look back on things I will say in the future in the same way, but I do believe I am moving in the right direction.