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Social LGBTQIA+

Hey everyone, my real name is Zach, and I am pretty new to posting on smogon, though I have lurked for a long time. I recently started playing some of the lower tiers on smogon, but decided to branch out onto the social side of smogon and happened to see this thread. I think it is awesome smogon has a LGBTQ+ thread! Since we have one, I decided to share my experiences as a member of the community.

So, I use He/Him pronouns and I am gay. I realized this in middle school I feel like, because I started noticing attractions to guys on my basketball team. The big issue though was that my entire family grew up in a more close-minded sect of Christianity. Because of this I spent about 3 full years of hating this part of me, and tried to get rid of it. Those were some darker moments for me honestly, but I got through them, and eventually learned to realize there is nothing wrong with being gay, it was just this idea that was implanted in my head from growing up with my family that it was wrong. I finally was able to fully accept myself when I was 15, and in October of that year for me, I came out to my mom.

This was a very scary moment, and my mom did not take it well. She thought I was going to hell for my gayness, and so she started sending me to "Christian counselling" sessions. Those were not very healthy for me at all, and really took a toll at my mental health. She made me switch schools as well for a "fresh start" since I was out to my school as well. I eventually did not have to go to the sessions anymore because for whatever reason my mom convinced herself that i wasn't gay anymore. And honestly, back then I didn't mind because I did not like the circumstances I was in. I was openly gay at my new school but I just did not tell my mom.

Two years pass and it is my senior year in high school. The last month of that year, I decide to tell mom that I am gay again because I realized after I graduate, I am fully independent, 18, paying for my own college, and so I felt like it was more safe than my first time. So, I did it! And at first it wasn't great, she was very unhappy and we were not close at all. But as time passed, she began to really miss having me home, and realized how terrible her judgement was.

Now it is the summer after my freshman year of college. I am 19, my mom and dad both are accepting of me, and we are also on good terms! I am in a relationship with a guy, his name is Hayden and i loooove him :) I am so glad I accepted myself and doing so taught me the importance of accepting others. I am glad I came out and through time have developed some amazing friends who love and accept me, as I do them.

Overall, LGBTQ+ has taught me the power of love. Love of myself, love of others love of humanity. In general, I think I have found more love and joy than I originally had through this community. A lot of people go through hard times for sexuality and gender and we shouldn't have to, but if you find support you can get through it and it gets better! And hey, thankfully there is a pretty big lgbtq+ pokemon community right here.

Happy to meet everyone!

Happy Pride Month!~
 
tom holland said:
Hey everyone, my real name is Zach, and I am pretty new to posting on smogon, though I have lurked for a long time. I recently started playing some of the lower tiers on smogon, but decided to branch out onto the social side of smogon and happened to see this thread. I think it is awesome smogon has a LGBTQ+ thread! Since we have one, I decided to share my experiences as a member of the community.

So, I use He/Him pronouns and I am gay. I realized this in middle school I feel like, because I started noticing attractions to guys on my basketball team. The big issue though was that my entire family grew up in a more close-minded sect of Christianity. Because of this I spent about 3 full years of hating this part of me, and tried to get rid of it. Those were some darker moments for me honestly, but I got through them, and eventually learned to realize there is nothing wrong with being gay, it was just this idea that was implanted in my head from growing up with my family that it was wrong. I finally was able to fully accept myself when I was 15, and in October of that year for me, I came out to my mom.

This was a very scary moment, and my mom did not take it well. She thought I was going to hell for my gayness, and so she started sending me to "Christian counselling" sessions. Those were not very healthy for me at all, and really took a toll at my mental health. She made me switch schools as well for a "fresh start" since I was out to my school as well. I eventually did not have to go to the sessions anymore because for whatever reason my mom convinced herself that i wasn't gay anymore. And honestly, back then I didn't mind because I did not like the circumstances I was in. I was openly gay at my new school but I just did not tell my mom.

Two years pass and it is my senior year in high school. The last month of that year, I decide to tell mom that I am gay again because I realized after I graduate, I am fully independent, 18, paying for my own college, and so I felt like it was more safe than my first time. So, I did it! And at first it wasn't great, she was very unhappy and we were not close at all. But as time passed, she began to really miss having me home, and realized how terrible her judgement was.

Now it is the summer after my freshman year of college. I am 19, my mom and dad both are accepting of me, and we are also on good terms! I am in a relationship with a guy, his name is Hayden and i loooove him :) I am so glad I accepted myself and doing so taught me the importance of accepting others. I am glad I came out and through time have developed some amazing friends who love and accept me, as I do them.

Overall, LGBTQ+ has taught me the power of love. Love of myself, love of others love of humanity. In general, I think I have found more love and joy than I originally had through this community. A lot of people go through hard times for sexuality and gender and we shouldn't have to, but if you find support you can get through it and it gets better! And hey, thankfully there is a pretty big lgbtq+ pokemon community right here.

Happy to meet everyone!

Happy Pride Month!~
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I am very happy that you have found your essence, it is very important that we in the community can overcome all these problems, because there is nothing wrong with us, we are human, we have a heart, our body is surrounded by blood, we are like any other person. As for Christianity, unfortunately the church still has a lot to evolve in this aspect, since they are old buildings, there is still the ritual and the ideas practiced in the past, but nowadays they are very outdated. Of course, not all churches and all church people are, but some still follow the same thinking as before.

I assumed homosexuality for my parents when I was 13, a very young age for such a determined boy. Well, my mother at first did not like it at all, she cursed me in every possible way and said that she just did not expel me from home because of my father, because unlike her, he accepted me the way I am and I said I just wanted my happiness above all else. Unfortunately, I never saw my mother again with the same eyes, no matter how much mistaken it is human, I am a spiteful person in this respect, and she did me very badly, my psychological was destroyed because of the things she did. I am much better now, I consider myself an empowered person, and I have never stopped telling who I really am for anyone, I can say that my essence has always prevailed within me since I was sure I was a homosexual.

I've never dated, but I've met some boys, currently I'm meeting another 20-year-old boy, I'm 15 years old. Well, I do not know if it will work, but at least we're getting to know each other. He is very nice to me, playful and very funny and handsome.

I would say that the worst moment of my life faced in my homosexuality was when I was beaten in the middle of the street by a totally unknown and drugged beggar. He gave me five punches in the mouth unexpectedly, I was with my friend who is also part of the community, and she pushed him and told us to run. I had no reaction at all, I was just shocked at the situation, no one came to help us and I was beaten very hard, my friend felt the force of his punches in front of my face, and I only managed to cover my face while he cursed me and kept hitting me. We still went into a small market on the corner to hide and call the police, but the owner of the market drove us out because she said she did not want to be in danger, but she did not even consider my condition at that moment, I just wanted crying with so much blood dripping, my clothes dirty and I just asking for help to leave the place as fast as possible.

When we arrived at the hospital, my father met us, he was shocked, he could not say anything, because his biggest fear was that I was beaten in the street, and it happened to him, his only son, one of the people who it more protects in life. And my mother, she is a nurse and she was the one who attended me at the hospital, when she saw my state, she despaired, she kept telling me to be calm, because I was under medical care, but both were very strong not to cry in my front, as well as my best friend who also did not cry.

We denounced the case, but the police did not do much, since we were not so sure about the face, only the clothes. And, our city is more dangerous than ever, because a Sao Paulo gang came to my city and are targeting LGBT people and women on the street, I was a victim of one of the members of this gang, who are beggars in the case.

Currently I still carry brands in my psychological, I do not walk alone on the street anymore and never went to the same place I was beaten, I still get a little scared and I think any homeless can beat me again, but I try to be strong, because we have to be strong, we have to win this fight. We are the world!

(I really want to cry right now, but I can't, I'm strong). :heart:
 
Litra here! I don't really have as much activity as I used to years ago but I still like to lurk threads that catch my fancy such as this one. Well, I thought I'd post since I felt like I have something to say for once. After spending years believing I was an asexual, I came to the realization that wasn't quite the case when I noticed my inability to feel attraction to another more from a side effect of my depression numbing thing for as long as I can remember. After I started getting better, I realized I was feeling a newfound sense of attraction... to other women. It's not something I am used to but I can safely say I am a Lesbian and feel comfortable as one! However, I don't think I can ever come out here because several members of my family are from heavily religious groups and have clearly mentioned they don't approve of that thing but I frankly don't care. I say love who you want.

Oh, and happy Pride Month to you all!
 
So this post isn’t a whole “coming out” one since I already practically did that. This is more just of my story on the spectrum since I know you all are accepting of those who differ from societal norms. So read if you like ^_^

So at 5 years old (a common age btw), I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a high functioning form of autism. The rates of diagnosis have steadily been on an incline throughout the years. I have a cousin who recently got married who is also on the spectrum so my talks with him over the years have always been fascinating. Anyway, as my young naive self, I sort of remained indifferent to my Asperger’s despite some accommodations. In my early grades, I always had an aide who would have to follow me around and tally up a points system for how I acted throughout the day. This was reenforced more with me because my school’s board of education tried placing me into Special Education and my mother fought hardly to keep me out of it since academically, I was doing fantastic. In the end, she won but I did attend a summer program with others with varying disorders. While academically, I was in the top range of students, socially I was unsurprisingly a wreck. I could not pick up social cues and undertones (I’m still not great at it unless they’re obvious today) and I would often misinterpret feelings and messages by not detecting them. Not only that, but I only was really great with specific subjects that I was really interested at the time and I could only discuss that and couldn’t adapt myself out of it. These are reoccurring issues for me to this day that I’ve learned to cope with. So continuing on, I punched a kid in the eye in 2nd grade after he accidentally assumed I was someone else who got out in Gaga in recess. I didn’t even play it at all that day but I didn’t let it slide as a misunderstanding and therefore, punch!

Continuing onward, I occasionally did make friends but they never stayed constant. I would often move onto a different group and still feel like I didn’t fit there. People rarely ever wanted to bother with my issues because they were so trivial. I used to sob in elementary school just by getting one step wrong in a math problem. I still remained a happy, positive boy but nonetheless most people didn’t want to bother with me.

Middle School was when everything truly went down hill. Puberty hit and what also insued was a lot of verbal bullying. I became an easy target for bullying in the middle of 6th grade and beyond since I was able to “handle things on my own” at that point so my aide didn’t have to check on me regularly. After 6th grade, I was free from an aide and the bullying went head on. It didn’t help that by these years I became far more aware of who I was and how lacking I was socially. I ended up resenting myself for who I was and tried to read social cues and apply them to myself. It made me feel more normal, but everyone knew how I’ve acted before and doubted that I could change in any significant way. I never committed any self-harm (phew), but I would contemplate suicide and even nearly attempted it. But Middle School also brought musical theatre to my life which probably kept me from really offing myself. I could be anything but myself and perform the role splendidly. It saved me and also made me realize just how much it revitalizes me. I feel more confident in myself than I ever do. I ended up craving it and wanting to perform more and so thus this became my passion and I thoroughly enjoy it. I still was bullied and was often seen strange because of course a “boy doing theatre lol” but nonetheless I found something that made me feel amazing. But 8th grade went by and I made a bold decision of switching high schools.

I now am training in the school’s theatre program as an actor. But back in my Freshmen year, I was still recovering from all sorts of hate for myself. I remember having a long drawn out conversation with my teacher about how much I tended to hate myself for being on the spectrum and always just wanted to be neurotypical. He then told me that I wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case and that I have so much untapped potential. It made me feel better than I have ever did before. Albeit he did go on to talk about how people on the spectrum might be the next evolution in humanity (which is a big yikes). I’m heading into my Junior year, and throughout my Sophmore year, I’ve never felt happier with who I was. I don’t feel preemptively judged for being on the spectrum because no one outside of my friends and others in my class know, and I realize just how much of a gift this is for me than anything. I love having a broad imagination, to be seeing the intricate details that create the big picture, and to be knowledgeable in the subjects I hold dear to me. I’m being more open about being on the spectrum to others and trying to be a light to those who have been stigmatized as much as I was for it.

But yeah that’s kind of my story, thanks for reading the whole thing if you did.
 
JediR said:
I don't really know why I'm posting here because I don't really use smogon all that often but I also just feel like I want to in a larger attempt to at least be somewhat more open online since it's harder for me to be open IRL.

I'm 16, I'm gay, my mother is homophobic, my grandparents are homophobic af, I'm too paranoid to tell IRL friends because I'm afraid of their reaction. But through this community (more-so PS than forums) I've been able to at least be myself somewhere, and I really appreciate that. I don't know where I would be without this community.

tl;dr kind of coming out i guess?
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Look JedirR, unfortunately it's still pretty common, see parents and mainly grandparents being homophobic. I can say based in all things that I lived, we need to prove that we can be sucessful in our jobs, educated with others, respectful and empowered with our roots. Maybe the time for your parents, family and some friends accept or respect you may be long. However, you don't need to be afraid, at least with your friends, if they are real friends, they will protect you, this is what friends do with us: they stay with us in everything. I hope you can get luck, a great destiny and a beautiful person with a pretty soul and heart. Also, if you need help, you can talk with everyone here, we are here to welcome who need help! :)

Take into account the reports of people who have decided to share their experiences here. Many of them have managed to win, endure and keep moving forward, if they won, you can also win and move on!
 
Litra said:
Litra here! I don't really have as much activity as I used to years ago but I still like to lurk threads that catch my fancy such as this one. Well, I thought I'd post since I felt like I have something to say for once. After spending years believing I was an asexual, I came to the realization that wasn't quite the case when I noticed my inability to feel attraction to another more from a side effect of my depression numbing thing for as long as I can remember. After I started getting better, I realized I was feeling a newfound sense of attraction... to other women. It's not something I am used to but I can safely say I am a Lesbian and feel comfortable as one! However, I don't think I can ever come out here because several members of my family are from heavily religious groups and have clearly mentioned they don't approve of that thing but I frankly don't care. I say love who you want.

Oh, and happy Pride Month to you all!
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I'm happy that you could recognize who you are and also overcome the bad situation with depression, be strong and very happy! :heart:
 
hi frens, it me. been thinking abt posting here for the longest time but have pushed it away again and again until now

so yeah, i'm bi. its been a very confusing road but i think im finally sure about this. im already thinking about all of the "phantombicurious" jokes that will come but hey it really feels good to finally get this off my chest. its something ive constantly been confused about. even from a young age, i always had this weird feeling in me and i was too worried to speak to anyone about it. my parents are homophobic and my grandparents even moreso. i didnt really have anyone to talk to so i just suppressed it and passed it off as a phase but now i think i kind of understand it but i still am a tad confused. i have no clue as to how im gonna come out irl, just the thought of it frightens me. im not sure as to what the next step is because i was already a bit scared to make this post. im just very glad there is a community on ps that brings people together in such a wholesome way. ily all :0
 
Yeah so I just found this thread, and I have some issues. I'm not sure whether I'm bisexual or not. I know I've always liked girls but I've been awkward around boys and I just don't know. How can I find out for sure?
 
So I wanted to ask a question on here, if anyone here happens to be transitioning to another gender, or familiar with the subject.

As I said on my older post, I am indeed a female. I think I want to start possibly transitioning to a male due to multiple factors in my life that has been affecting me. I would rather be male myself, as majority of people online mistake me as a male and are surprised when they realize I am a woman, I’m also mistaken as a male commonly in real life when I am not speaking. I’m curious about the subject for those who have experience with transitioning or know a lot about going trans.

I’ve been looking at possibly getting a tostesterone subscription, or maybe surgery but I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Does it hurt your body at all or cause physical pain? What happens during FtM surgery? How does tostesterone change the body? Would I be considered straight, if I was FtM and attracted to women? These are questions I’m a bit too shy to ask someone directly which is why I’m posting here.
 
Hi HONK I’m trans in the opposite direction as you (MtF) so your mileage may vary here, but I have never heard of anything about testosterone causing any pain. FtM surgery as a single whole surgery doesn’t really exist there’s no one stop shop for it. There’s multiple procedures that are sought out that I know of. The most common surgery is mastectomies to remove breast fats and have a flatter more masculine chest. The other surgery that’s far less common is a phalloplasty, in which a penis is constructed using a large skin graft from your arm or leg. I’d suggest looking up any resources on either of those surgeries to have a better understanding of it all.

Now for how testosterone changes the body it entirely resets almost all your secondary sex characteristics. Fat from hip shrinks and is moved elsewhere as well as from the cheeks. Obviously muscle growth becomes a lot easier as well as an increase in body and facial hair growth. I know the clitoris tends to enlarge as well with testosterone. Beyond that I’m not certain. I know for a trans woman like me that taking hormone replacement therapy eventually would make me infertile, but I’m not certain if that’s the same for trans men taking testosterone.

And for the last question, if a guy is dating a girl i think that’s universally agreed to be considered straight. You’ll more run into problems with people saying “well you’re not actually a guy so it’s gay cuz you’re both women” and those people are both wrong and also morons so their opinion is worth less than nothing.

I’d really suggest a lot of googling to study up and find out more about the medical stuff specifically. There’s a whole lot of literature out there. I don’t know what other social media’s you’re on but for me being on twitter and following a lot of trans women has slowly trickled in a lot of nuances and minor details of how HRT affects the body, so I imagine following and listening to a lot of transmen would be helpful to you in many respects!

I hope this helps!
 
To commemorate my 100th post on Smogon (I want that name change), I wanted to out myself as trans.

For nearly ten years, from like even pre-high school until several months ago, I knew something was up. I knew that my body just didn't match up with the person I wanted to be. I eventually stumbled upon the topic of trans people after reading about different surgeries (I was a weird kid and wanted to be a surgeon growing up). Maybe subconsciously, I thought that being trans could be a possibility and could be the reason for my feelings.

I just started reading. I used to read the Wikipedia page for 'Transgender' and wish that woman was me. I used to read up on every intersex condition, hoping that I'd fit one of the criteria. That way I'd have some validating reason for my own feelings about myself. I used to read about gender confirmation surgery, maybe as a means for telling myself the future was a possibility.

I never really let these feelings come to the forefront though and I never talked to anyone about it or did anything. I think I had this underlying fear that maybe my loved ones would reject and abandon me. I thought that I'd be able to keep those feelings locked away forever. I don't think I ever allowed myself to have an emotional breakthrough. I'd have these recurrent depressive episodes that I just couldn't explain. I just kept all these feelings repressed and thought that I'd never need to do anything about them.

That is until last December when I was working in an emergency department (the A+E, for our colonial friends). The patient was a transman that had attempted to kill himself after coming out as trans and his parents rejecting him. The attending doctor I was with was had been a family friend for many years. The doc was talking outside the room about how hard it can be for trans people. He wrote in the nursing notes to use male pronouns for the patient. Something in me just completely cracked. Maybe it was my subconscious trying to say "you can be who you want and be accepted". (As an aside, the patient ended up fine and had a short stay in a voluntary psych unit. I'm now friends with him on Facebook, even if he doesn't remember who I am. Everything is looking so bright for him.)

I eventually got off work and had an emotional breakdown in my car. All these thoughts and memories came pouring out of my subconscious. Memories I didn't even mention; even some of my earliest thoughts were wanting to be a girl. Kind of as a way to reaffirm myself, I looked up these amazing transformations on r/transtimelines. Stuff like r/egg_irl became too real. I had many more emotional breakdowns and eventually came out to my family. They loved and supported me (though one set of grandparents may be a different story). The first person I actually came out to was a certain favorite person on PS (she likely knows who she is). I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood and got started on hormones two months later.

One day this past May, I had a rare lunch break and decided to go on a walk through this park near the hospital. The sun was shining, there was this flowing creek, and everything was so serene. Everything was just so comfortable and something about it confirmed "everything is going to be okay". Everything is looking up.

Tl;dr I'm trans as shit
 
I'm a girl too guys!

My story's not as exciting as the one above but I think it's still important to "come out" to smogon. I didn't actually crack or even realize I was an egg until super recently, but I've been slowly doing more and more feminine things both presentation wise and I got some friends to refer to me with female pronouns IRL (euphoria is a real feeling btw) and it just feels right.

I was able to successfully come out to my mom and she's been super supportive while simultaneously dealing with my chaotic ass all the time. What's especially wild is that one of my friends came out as a transman the same time I was questioning/close to cracking which was an experience.

I think that so far I've been having a much better experience than a lot of other transfolk and I'm very thankful to both my family and friends for that. I don't really have much to add other than be gay, do crime.
 
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ok serious topic now, i came to my parents as bi and... i dont know what i did expect of this event but i'm completely devastated by how my parents reacted only thinking about how other people would react and not caring for how i actually feel.
so right now im listening to ts' "soon you'll get better" in repeat and wishing for a happy ending for my own story

to everyone who has known of it since ever and supported me through it, thank you and i love u all
 
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I came out as trans as a teenager (now almost 19), and have felt ready to try and get the transitioning process started. However, I feel kind of scared of asking my GP about it for some reason. Should I just force myself up and do it? I want to go about it by the book and ensure there aren't any issues. I know I'm sure about it, I've done pretty much everything.
 
I'm non-binary. Born physically male and still recognise that, but I just don't find myself associating with or even agreeing to the concept of gender.

Later Edit: Using they/them pronouns rn but I won't freak out if you use he/him. I get it.
 
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