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my parents, after around a year of being out, have started gendering me correctly!! this is huge and im so happy :3
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(okay if this looks sarcastic i am so sorry this is meant to be silly and genuine, that's a huge progress leap :D)
 
my parents, after around a year of being out, have started gendering me correctly!! this is huge and im so happy :3

Congratulations! That's got to feel absolutely wonderful to have that type of validation, I'm really happy for you!

my parents refuse to correct themselves still after seven years

How do you like to be addressed pronoun-wise? Obviously none of our validations can compare to the validation that being gendered correctly by a parent can give, but it might help you feel a bit better if you talk about who you are here!
 
Congratulations! That's got to feel absolutely wonderful to have that type of validation, I'm really happy for you!



How do you like to be addressed pronoun-wise? Obviously none of our validations can compare to the validation that being gendered correctly by a parent can give, but it might help you feel a bit better if you talk about who you are here!

I use they/them first, but she/her is sometimes acceptable. I only use he/him in front of my parents because I know they'll get it wrong even after I ran away from home for a month, about two years ago. They didn't learn shit.
 
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I keep hearing about this, and I was even banned from a Discord server I frequented for even bringing it up, but is this new wave of gender reassignment on youth a good thing? I see stories occasionally pop up about it going pretty poorly, and it makes me kind of question it. I don't strictly think that the surgery in general is a bad thing, opposite really, but it makes me question whether or not it should be done so young
 
I keep hearing about this, and I was even banned from a Discord server I frequented for even bringing it up, but is this new wave of gender reassignment on youth a good thing? I see stories occasionally pop up about it going pretty poorly, and it makes me kind of question it. I don't strictly think that the surgery in general is a bad thing, opposite really, but it makes me question whether or not it should be done so young
1) how young do you think it's done? if it's before late teenage years or so that's bunk, at most you get on puberty blockers (basically holding off on puberty for a few years) and continue at a later point (even this isn't necessarily the easiest)

2) regardless of the age, are you familiar with just how ludicrously hard (and in the US, expensive) these gender affirming surgeries are? good article covering it. You basically have to go through the nine circles of hell

3) detransitioners/people who regret it are very rare


it's also worth noting that such rhetoric is consistently used by conservative media that often in the same breath is arguing for us to be legislated out of existence, and such things are part of the greater hysteria that encourages hate crimes vs trans people
 
I keep hearing about this, and I was even banned from a Discord server I frequented for even bringing it up, but is this new wave of gender reassignment on youth a good thing? I see stories occasionally pop up about it going pretty poorly, and it makes me kind of question it. I don't strictly think that the surgery in general is a bad thing, opposite really, but it makes me question whether or not it should be done so young
There’s not 1 regret rate there’s 2 and the second is trans people who regret not transitioning earlier. Our current model (while needing improvement) has brought better results then a more restrictive one.
 
so my mother has sent me off on a little bit of a gay quest

figure out on what it truly means to be a woman and I earn her complete support (not that she doesn't already; she just can't fully commit because i'm a little out-of-the-know and whatnot.)

and admittedly i might need help with that i have zero idea on where to start
 
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Hi there, I have some unresolved coming out of the closet, so that ends today, because I have an important announcement

it was a ordinary day in the middle of March, except for some reason the temperature decided that it didn't want to warm up, and ended up creating one of the most elongated winters in my memory, I was just walking home after getting out of school, and I had an interesting thought pop up into my head, what is my gender expression, now for a while, I just accepted the fact that I'm Male due to that being the gender I was assigned at birth, but on this day, it was peculiar, since this one made me truly question what my gender is, I have almost no connection to masculinity due to the fact that I love not conforming, and also, to me, caring about how masculine I am is just straight up pointless, and also my gender played almost no role for a great amount of my life, as I didn't think of myself as a dude, I just thought of myself, as Joey, aka myself, and nothing else, I realized that I feel much more interested in my gender expression now than I did back then, in other words, I realized right then and there that I'm Non-Binary
 
Hi there, I have some unresolved coming out of the closet, so that ends today, because I have an important announcement

it was a ordinary day in the middle of March, except for some reason the temperature decided that it didn't want to warm up, and ended up creating one of the most elongated winters in my memory, I was just walking home after getting out of school, and I had an interesting thought pop up into my head, what is my gender expression, now for a while, I just accepted the fact that I'm Male due to that being the gender I was assigned at birth, but on this day, it was peculiar, since this one made me truly question what my gender is, I have almost no connection to masculinity due to the fact that I love not conforming, and also, to me, caring about how masculine I am is just straight up pointless, and also my gender played almost no role for a great amount of my life, as I didn't think of myself as a dude, I just thought of myself, as Joey, aka myself, and nothing else, I realized that I feel much more interested in my gender expression now than I did back then, in other words, I realized right then and there that I'm Non-Binary
Bleacher Report NBA on Twitter: Shaq's light-up jersey  (via [USER=233462]Shaq[/USER])  https://t.co/MRkjmES3a3 / Twitter
 
also, i figured i might as well ask something thats been bothering me for a while. what are the deal with pronouns. dont get me wrong, i get the dysphoria thing, but i dont know why people are fixed on pronouns. this is a genuine question, and i am not projecting any hate towards any individual, but i dont even get why pronouns exist in the first place, let alone why people care about them. i really really really dont want anyone to think this is hate. i dont think anyone has the right to tell you how you should present yourself, but i just want to understand this better
 
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They exist as a function of language so that you don't need to say people's names all the time - "I met John at John's house and John told me that John would be picking up John's daughter from school today" just sounds awkward. Their existence being gendered (he/she/they most commonly) means that people are going to want to others to use the pronouns that match the gender they identify with. Choosing what pronouns you like is not really all that different from picking a username, it's just a way of saying that I want people to call me X. Don't overthink it too hard.
 
They exist as a function of language so that you don't need to say people's names all the time - "I met John at John's house and John told me that John would be picking up John's daughter from school today" just sounds awkward. Their existence being gendered (he/she/they most commonly) means that people are going to want to others to use the pronouns that match the gender they identify with. Choosing what pronouns you like is not really all that different from picking a username, it's just a way of saying that I want people to call me X. Don't overthink it too hard.
thx, but not overthinking things is something i am incapable of.
 
happy pride, haven’t posted or even lurked here in a very long time, just wanted to come and say that smogon was really helpful for me when coming to terms with my sexuality. there were quite a few people who were very open about their queerness and it helped me feel less alone. More than 5 years later, I’m open about my queerness, I have so many wonderful queer friends, and I’m out to basically everyone who knows me. This is kinda odd but I remember that in the RU discord, someone asked me genuinely if I was gay and I responded in the affirmative for the first time, and that felt meaningful. I was just reflecting and thought I would post, hopefully it resonates with someone.

hope everyone is well!
 
It's always the privileged people telling us to play nice and "just vote/debate/etc"
I agree that should it come down to it, it is fine to defend yourself, but I also think that, when meeting with someone who is trans/homophobic, the first step should always be to try to talk and debate with these people. I understand that it is uncomfortable to debate with someone who ignores/is actively trying to put up barriers that separate you from your gender/sexual identity, but if we (referring to the LGBTQ+ community as a whole) do not at least attempt to change these peoples minds, who will? Whether we like it or not, bigots, transphobes, homophobes, etc. do have a vote in who creates policy and laws. In order to change these laws to become more just and favorable to the LGBTQ+ community, I would argue that we should start at the source - the people who are voting for politicians like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump.
Obviously, we cannot change everyone's mind. Some people will choose to be bigots until the bitter end, which is unfortunate. However, I think that we must start a dialogue with the opposition in hopes that some of them will change their minds. I use this example a lot, but I have an aunt that used to be quite homophobic. After several years of arguing about these issues with her, she finally came around and is now a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights. She even attended the pride parade! This is just one of presumably many examples of people changing their views. I think to simply disregard them as idiots are doing both them and our community a disservice.

Republicans are fascists
It is wrong to say that "people who follow a certain political belief are x". Not all Republicans are fascists. Sure, some are, but that doesn't mean that all are. Saying that "Republicans are fascists" is the exact same thing as saying "Democrats sleep on the right side of a bed". Sure, some do, but not all of them do and I think that you're casting too broad of a generalization on such a diverse group of people.

I look forward to your response and happy Pride month everybody :D
 
I agree that should it come down to it, it is fine to defend yourself, but I also think that, when meeting with someone who is trans/homophobic, the first step should always be to try to talk and debate with these people.

Absolutely the fuck not, that legitimizes the idea that our identity and existence are up for debate. People can educate if they want, but nobody is obligated to.

I understand that it is uncomfortable to debate with someone who ignores/is actively trying to put up barriers that separate you from your gender/sexual identity, but if we (referring to the LGBTQ+ community as a whole) do not at least attempt to change these peoples minds, who will? Whether we like it or not, bigots, transphobes, homophobes, etc. do have a vote in who creates policy and laws. In order to change these laws to become more just and favorable to the LGBTQ+ community, I would argue that we should start at the source - the people who are voting for politicians like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald Trump.

To be blunt, I advocate much more radical action than voting and begging for rights.

It is wrong to say that "people who follow a certain political belief are x".

No it's not.

Not all Republicans are fascists. Sure, some are, but that doesn't mean that all are. Saying that "Republicans are fascists" is the exact same thing as saying "Democrats sleep on the right side of a bed". Sure, some do, but not all of them do and I think that you're casting too broad of a generalization on such a diverse group of people.

If 9 people are at a table and a Nazi sits down, and those 9 people stay, you have 10 Nazis. We do not debate the Nazi. We do not plead for him to recognize our humanity. The Republican Party harbors far more than enough fascists that I will generalize them all I want. A lot of bad apples spoil the bunch.

I am not going to have a debate over this. I have far better things to do than argue about whether the inhumanity of those who want me dead is bad enough to label them a certain way.
 
Thanks for the prompt response
People can educate if they want, but nobody is obligated to
I agree that nobody is obligated to, but I would argue that the best way to stop a hateful ideology from spreading is to convince those who support for ideology to change their minds about it.

To be blunt, I advocate much more radical action than voting and begging for rights.
What is this radical action that you advocate for? The first thing that comes to my mind is a much more violent approach, which I should hope is not the case for obvious reasons.

No it's not.
It absolutely is, or else saying things such as “All Muslims/Christians/Jewish people are greedy” and “Everyone from New York City is loaded” would be correct, which is it very much isn’t. You cannot paint a group of people with the same brush, as people may agree on one topic but behave vastly differently, have different socioeconomic statuses, and more.

If 9 people are at a table and a Nazi sits down, and those 9 people stay, you have 10 Nazis. We do not debate the Nazi.
That’s… not how math works
You would then have 9 people and 1 Nazi. That’s not to say that you definitely don’t have 10 Nazi’s - the beliefs of the 9 people are unknown. However, to say that there are 10 Nazi’s without knowing the beliefs of the 9 people is incorrect.

The Republican Party harbors far more than enough fascists that I will generalize them all I want.
I disagree with this too. I think that generalizing groups of people can be dangerous. For example, saying that all people of a certain religion are theives is obviously very wrong. However, if I understand your argument correctly, if a certain number of them are theives, then all of them are theives. This is wrong, as there are likely going to be a large percentage of people belonging to this religion that are not theives. To brand everyone that follows this belief system as a thief just because they believe in a different religion is wrong.
If it isn’t wrong, then I do ask that you explain to me your thought process in coming to this conclusion (preferably in DMs via Discord, as it doesn’t have much to do with this thread).
 
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