My comeback (possibly)

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Hello fellow Circus Maximus members

I don't know if I'm allowed, on this day, to write on Circus Maximus. But I know just as much who's active on this forum anymore. So feel free to delete this thread and pardon my wrongdoing. But please contact me on my Discord afterwards. Any mods can dm me on Smogon to get my username.

I'm that guy that got banned at the beginning of last summer until last October I believe. I don't exactly remember why I got banned anymore except from the fact that I my have been mean to some people.

Since I may have found again the fire to play mafia on Smogon again, I want to see how it will go this time forward, you know, a new beginning, see how things go. But if there's anything I have to make up for, please let me know. I recalled that I apologized to some people along the way. In any case, I'm promising you and anyone else that I'm leaving what I've said and done here behind and start from scratch. I want nothing but fun, excitement and strategy in this journey onwards.

I hope I don't have to write a paragraph of apologizing and kissing everyone's butt about anything. Either way, it wouldn't mean much because as I said before, I don't remember much of what I've done, so please be indulgent on reparations that I may have to encounter for me to be back.

Thank you for your answers. I hope you guys are still adamant to bring me back in!

I'm that guy that got banned at the beginning of last summer until last October I believe. I don't exactly remember why I got banned anymore except from the fact that I my have been mean to some people.
Look man, I'm all for second chances, but you threatened to kill yourself over a game on the internet over which there were and continue to be 0 stakes for. That's unacceptable in any context, let alone an online forum about pokemon. You don't fuck around with that sort of thing in any context.
That's not even including you flaming people for again, no reason at all except a game of mafia over the internet of which there were no stakes. You were emotionally manipulative and abusive and people don't want to talk and be around and play with people who act like that. If someone acted like that in real life, I would 1. call the police if serious (and probably do so anyways) and 2. actively avoid this person if it turned out to be a plea for attention/abusive behavior.

I'm not saying that you're stuck with that label forever, but you truly need to show that you've changed, and given your post, you don't really seem to have grasped the magnitude of what you did. I have no idea what you did in the time you were banned, but I hope it included a lot of introspection on improving as a person. I hope you sought out counseling to deal with whatever issues you have. If you did, good on you for improving yourself. If not, it's never too late. But you have to understand that even then, people are well within their rights to not want to play or talk to you because of what you did.

No one wants you to kiss ass. I personally want to see evidence that you've changed as a person and recognized why what you did was bad (again, which it seems like you don't). I want to see how you've dealt with the issues that led you to engage in these destructive behaviors. But even then, I'm just speaking for myself and not the "community," whatever/whoever that might be. Maybe it's too late, and yeah while that sucks, you can only think of it as the consequences of your past behavior and seek to improve on it (if you truly are trying to be better).

Hope this helps you out.
What do you want me to say now? You want me to share my feelings towards something I cannot relate to anymore?

I would be lying to you if explained how much I've changed because I do not know what has been the process. I know what I did was stupid and I never did anything such again and don't plan on doing it in the future. I am more respectful towards others in the web, I never insulted anyone since the incident happened nor have been arrogant, obnoxious or impolite to anyone.

I would feel too bad about lying and saying that I've seen a psychologist or any other specialist. Because I've never thought there was something wrong with me. I see myself as someone who misbehave only because I don't like my life, the people I see around me or how little affection I get from the ones I truly love (seems silly at first but I'm sure you get it). No one I know would claim that I'm evil because I burry so much of my feelings inside. And I think I loaded it on there in desperation. I wanted to drag attention on myself so I can feel better about all my problems in life.

So if you're gonna lock me out like this, I have no other choice but to respect that decision. But everyone will be a loser in the end if that what's going to happen. I don't want any trouble anymore, this anger is gone. I vow to respect the rules of Smogon and whoever that steps in Circus Maximus.

That's the best I can come up with I guess. To my eyes, this looks like ass-kissing, but maybe that's going to comfort all of you believing that I'm going to do the right thing. And you'd be right to think so. Because even though it looks bull poop to me doesn't mean I will go back on what I said: Never will this happen again. You have only one solid way to find out if I can stick to my word or not, and that's letting me in.


/me huggles
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I know I haven't been very active recently, but I do feel like I was one of the main people affected by this. When you pulled this shit, it really fucked with me. Like I was freaking out and didn't know what to do. You said that you were going to kill yourself because you were getting lynched, and that you were getting lynched because of me. You essentially were blaming me for your potential suicide over an online forum game. Then when we tried to talk to you, you said things like "Why do you care now?" that were incredibly emotionally manipulative of myself and others in our mafia chat. And I still don't know if all that was a stunt or real, and I'm not sure which one of those is the better option to be honest. I hope you're in a better place right now and continue to be, but the fact that you say you don't remember what happened and that you think you were "mean to some people" doesn't instill much confidence. I truly believe that smogon is a community where people can come together and support each other through shared nerdiness, and it has certainly helped me through many hard times. I would never want to take that away from someone, but I know I would still have incredible reservations about playing a game with you.

I cannot speak for anyone else, and I want to give you another chance, but I do think I have difficulty doing that.

Da Letter El

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I talked with Exene; I watched him play out a game on ps without incident, and then talked with some people who had played some games over ps mafia channel with Exene. None of the players I spoke to spoke ill of Exene or brought up any issues over PS, but I also got the sense that he wasn't active enough on PS for most of them to feel comfortable in giving any sort of recommendation of his unbanning. As such, I don't have the evidence presented to me to feel comfortable changing anything for the time being.

I told Exene that if he can show me 2 forum multi-day mafia games he plays in on another site without incident that I'd bring his case back up with other mods to start up any process of re-evaluating, but until that or other significant evidence is provided, we're not unbanning Exene. I don't think anything else needs to be said here, so I'll lock this and move this to OSI since it probably shouldn't be here anyway.
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