Overthinking

[Echo]

Basically, I think fill my head with useless thoughts about a certain subject or matter at hand and I start developing a minor thing into a huge problem. This problem starts troubling me a lot after a while and I can never seem burst out my thoughts or anger.

Usually the things that I think too much about are negative things about me. Unfortunately, they are also things about me that I should care less about. Maybe something stupid I said or did, and sometimes something stupid I typed. Minor stuff that really should be ignored stacks inside my head. Some things I can ignore partly, but they always come back to me after a little while.

I also tend to develop a problem from old stuff I've done. Just a few weeks backwards, I remembered a thing I did as a kid and I started regretting it so damn much. Thinking about it also brought some other unpleasant memories from my past, which I obviously haven't got over yet. I find it really stupid to even think about these things, because they don't affect my life now, and they exactly didn't affect it back then.

I've managed to sort out a couple of these over thought things, but the reminders that I sometimes get, bring them back. I have burst out in tears a few times just because I burn myself out when thinking too much about useless stuff. (Yes, I'm that manly.) And it has helped for the time being, and for some things, it has helped greatly overall.

So yeah, I felt like making a thread about this, because I really want to see some neutral opinions (meaning that opinions of family members/friends are completely different) from moderately mature people about this matter.

 

[mf]

If you're a teenager you are probably hormonal, you'll get more worked up about everything in general. Caring too much about really small things that don't affect you might be an unusual psychological issue (similar to some symptoms of OCD); if you think it's serious enough then consider seeing a psychotherapist or doing a bit of research on the matter.

I don't think it's a bad thing to think a lot, as long as you don't let it control you. When I was younger I used to think through everything until the inevitable conclusion of "we're all going to die anyway there's no point in anything" - that kind of thought can wreck your life. You've just got to try and distance yourself from your negative thoughts.

Hope you sort it out!

 

[Basics]

I overthink a lot in my life. It's one of my bigger problems, but I just kind of have an obsessive nature. I've never really "kind of" gotten into anything. I either completely dive into something, or I don't do it at all. It sounds immature, but I've just never understood people who differ with me on this. You may never be the best at whatever it is you do, but as soon as you stop trying to be the best, you may as well stop doing it all together.

Overthinking is really the same principle, but it's applied to anything I... well, anything I think about. I needlessly complicate aspects of my life, and start to worry about things which, in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. I think this is probably the basic problem behind atheists. I recently had a revelation in this regard. I used to be confused how otherwise smart people could possibly be religious, but I think I understand it more now. Religion, while it may not be the right answer, is an easy answer, and people who don't spend all this time thinking about how God can't exist, and how the universe could exist without him, can use that time to accomplish other things. Overthinking is a gift and a curse, I dunno how to get rid of it, though.

I don't cry though. Crying is for girls.

 

[Glen]

i overthink more than i should, but in the last year ive actually been really happy. its new and exciting for me. being happy tends to cause you to not overthink things, its quite enjoyable.

but i must admit that i do cry a fuck of a lot. not to say i cry out of the blue or out of sadness or anything, but if something is really heartbreaking in a book or movie or something i'll tear up without question. its a good thing my girlfriend is such a crier too, otherwise id look like quite the pansy in front of her!

 

[majesty]

My advice: Just relax. Be more spontaneous. That's how I roll...sometimes I hardly think at all!! Well, that's just in my Arts option classes, heh. Maybe it's just a phase and you'll get over it.

 

[Echo]

If you're a teenager you are probably hormonal, you'll get more worked up about everything in general. Caring too much about really small things that don't affect you might be an unusual psychological issue (similar to some symptoms of OCD); if you think it's serious enough then consider seeing a psychotherapist or doing a bit of research on the matter.

I don't think it's a bad thing to think a lot, as long as you don't let it control you. When I was younger I used to think through everything until the inevitable conclusion of "we're all going to die anyway there's no point in anything" - that kind of thought can wreck your life. You've just got to try and distance yourself from your negative thoughts.

Hope you sort it out!

Technically yes, I'm still a teenager, but I'm quite certain that passed puberty already as I can consider myself a mature and responsible guy, which wasn't me a few years backwards. I've tried to 'blame it on the hormones', but in my opinion that's never the right answer as these kinds of problems can occur later on in life. And if I can't deal well enough with them now, I'm sure that it will be even harder when older.

Well, it's not a bad thing to think a lot, but when 'a lot' becomes 'too much', then it's a problem. I had the same kind of thoughts earlier though (not this year), but left those thoughts behind. Distancing myself out is a good way, but when I do that, it feels like I'm just ignoring my problems.

Overthinking is really the same principle, but it's applied to anything I... well, anything I think about. I needlessly complicate aspects of my life, and start to worry about things which, in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. I think this is probably the basic problem behind atheists. I recently had a revelation in this regard. I used to be confused how otherwise smart people could possibly be religious, but I think I understand it more now. Religion, while it may not be the right answer, is an easy answer, and people who don't spend all this time thinking about how God can't exist, and how the universe could exist without him, can use that time to accomplish other things. Overthinking is a gift and a curse, I dunno how to get rid of it, though.

I don't cry though. Crying is for girls.

I am, in fact, religious, but I've come to the conclusion that there are some things, which even God can't sort out for you. So I can't exactly say religion is an easy answer unless, of course, you become a fundamentalist or something. Praying generally helps though, because it's one of those things where I can focus all my thoughts in peace. Might sound tad stupid, but normally I find it quite hard to clear my head without any .. addictive substances.

Yeah, I didn't cry before but as of lately, I've cried a few times. The first time crying after my childhood was definitely an odd feeling and I felt like a girly clown.

i overthink more than i should, but in the last year ive actually been really happy. its new and exciting for me. being happy tends to cause you to not overthink things, its quite enjoyable.

but i must admit that i do cry a fuck of a lot. not to say i cry out of the blue or out of sadness or anything, but if something is really heartbreaking in a book or movie or something i'll tear up without question. its a good thing my girlfriend is such a crier too, otherwise id look like quite the pansy in front of her!

Being happy is almost something I've forgotten. I've been getting so much shit on my face lately, ranging from the basic girlfriend problems to issues with parents and good friends; not to mention the pressure from studying. I really should just do as you and majesty suggest: relax and be happy. It's too bad that I become an emotional retard sometimes and forget to think about positive aspects of my life.

Thanks for the help and opinions guys!

 

[Blue Kirby]

I have the tendency to overthink things somewhat myself, though a lot of the time in the opposite way described by the OP. Instead of reflecting on something that's happened, I'll often play out different scenarios of an event in my mind, ranging from absolute best case scenario to the downright worst.

However, when the said event actually happens, I won't give a thought to these predictions and I'll breeze through without looking back; that'll be the end of it. If one of my strange predictions actually came to pass, I'll spend a moment or two wondering how I knew it was going to come to that, and that'll be the end for me.

 

[Bologo]

Heh, aww gosh I used to be a lot like this, and I still kinda am, but not as much. I actually made a thread similar to this before when I was really bad with this, it used to honestly be the bane of my existence...

I don't remember exactly, but there was a quote from my favourite game Chrono Trigger that made some sense out of the issue. It was something like,

"Saying things like, 'if only I had done this' or 'I could have done that' only brings back painful memories."

Yeah, so to be honest, with analyzing that quote, it makes me realize that the words could've, should've and would've, etc. are just words that bring back painful memories. Regret is one of the most painful feelings there is, seriously. One of my friends told me,

"Always regret doing something, never regret not doing something."

Yeah, I realize that overthinking completely ruins this, but it's something that I needed to realize for myself when I was overcoming this big problem. Let me give you an anecdote just to help prove this point:

You're at a school dance, there is that special someone that you've always wanted to dance with, but you start overthinking, "What if they say no? What if they don't notice me? What if I sound stupid when I'm asking?" Then after you've answered all those questions for yourself, you realize that the night is done and that everyone has gone home.

Now tell me, from that anecdote, would the person asking themselves all those questions have been better off just asking the special someone anyway and having the person say no, or not asking at all and not knowing at all?

Now, there is the two consciences. Your positive and your negative. In cartoons, you often see them being represented sitting on someone's shoulder like a devil and an angel. While it is useful to see the negative side of things once in a while, the positive side will almost always be the one to listen to. Meditating helps a lot to shut off the negative conscience. Also, things like "sleeping on it" really do work. Your body registers thought a lot better when you're sleeping, which is obviously why you dream when you're sleeping, and as a result, you have a nice clear mind when you wake up.

You really need to learn how to express your feelings if you want to overcome overthinking. It is by far the main way to do this. I am sure you're not a sociopath, which means you can express feeling, so come on, go ahead!

Don't underestimate people's abilities to listen. If you listen to what people say, then people will listen to you, and it makes a connection. Saying what you're feeling is the only real temporary cure for stress. Writing the stuff down helps too, but just remember, that after you're done writing your feelings down, if they were negative, you need to crumple up that paper and literally project it into the garbage. That seriously does help, because some of the negative feelings go with it. Symbolism isn't just in books!

Heh, I hope I helped in some way. :]

 

[Jackal]

i have this problem too, but im getting better with it i think...the key is definitely to just slow yourself down. And i mean that in the complete opposite way you might think...You need to give your brain a break and just do something that will lighten you're mood and get you focused on something else. One of the better things to do is get your body active, which many people who are in the 18-20 range forget to do pretty much cause their brain is always moving a mile a minute.

Do something as simple as run, play basketball, whatever. Go for a walk with some music. Music is the key for me, ive got different music for what kind of mood im in. And i know you are a musical guy so just get some feel good music, for me its the Go! team and k-os, but whatever works for you is good. That should help fix the here and now.

In general i think the core reason why we overthink is a lack of confidence, or maybe its just that we become all too knowledgeable, but really ignorance is bliss and there is nothing more important than being happy. Just be confident in the choices you make and dont fret ever, and you will be a much happier guy :)

summary: feel good music, confidence, physical activity

 

[Zenigame]

I tend to overthink things that I honestly don't even care about. For some reason, I always say to myself "If I could go back in time and change this, would I?" and I always tell myself no.

 

[Echo]

*insert quotes here*

You really need to learn how to express your feelings if you want to overcome overthinking. It is by far the main way to do this. I am sure you're not a sociopath, which means you can express feeling, so come on, go ahead!

Don't underestimate people's abilities to listen. If you listen to what people say, then people will listen to you, and it makes a connection. Saying what you're feeling is the only real temporary cure for stress. Writing the stuff down helps too, but just remember, that after you're done writing your feelings down, if they were negative, you need to crumple up that paper and literally project it into the garbage. That seriously does help, because some of the negative feelings go with it. Symbolism isn't just in books!

Heh, I hope I helped in some way. :]

Expressing feelings is usually hard for me as I tend to start overthinking what other people are going to say about me going teenage-angst on them or something. I've got a few good friends who will listen no matter mood I'm in, so I guess I should open up more.

I've never even considered writing down things and I sort of think it won't work for me, but that's an interesting suggestion nonetheless.

About the quotes, all are good advice and basic things that I really should keep in mind. Thanks for the reminders.

summary: feel good music, confidence, physical activity

Physical activity, check. Good music, check. Feel good, (sometimes, well, usually) check. Confidence, blank.

I used to lack confidence due to disliking my appearance, but I feel a lot more self-confident nowadays than I used to, say a couple years backwards. The problem is that I still get these phases when everything goes downhill and I lose my ability to be confident again. It's really hard to start climbing uphill again when your confidence has gone on a crashing course. The solution to this probably would be not to start overthinking about the things that have made me lose my confidence in the first place.

Yesterday, when I was lying on my girlfriend's bed with her, listening to calm music, I felt better than I've felt in a while and I noticed how these little good things are what make my days happier. I think I should just start enjoying life more.

Nonetheless, I guess the shadow proves the sunshine or something.

 

[Kingdrom]

When you look at life as a whole, it can seem pretty depressing. Little things in life are sometimes all you have to hold onto. Don't go along worrying about the past- it only drains us of the energy needed to attack the problems of today.

Socrates(I think) defined pleasure as the escape from what is undesired. He preached a simple lifestyle. When you listen to music, it is an escape from the reality that you are in.

The little things in life really do help. I mean, just look at my avatar.

 

[Jackal]

Yesterday, when I was lying on my girlfriend's bed with her, listening to calm music, I felt better than I've felt in a while and I noticed how these little good things are what make my days happier. I think I should just start enjoying life more.

you hit the nail on the head here bud, I have moments like this all the time and they really help you appreciate life. Like this morning i was on public transit at like 6:00 am with a bunch of complete strangers, of all different ethnicities, ages etc. It was a huge snowstorm and it was dead silent, everyone was asleep. I had my ipod on and was just pretty stunned at just how impacted i felt by this common scenario. I missed my first bus and had to wait a half hour for the next one, I was going to miss my first class of the day in which I had a test, id have to make it up etc. Instead of overthinking how screwed i was gonna be I was genuinely impacted by how tranquil the bus was (I normally dont take it) For 45 minutes everyone was in the exact same boat as me, i mean who actually WANTS to be on a bus. But i was able to completely and utterly take my mind off what would happen when i stepped off that bus, and just enjoy every moment of life I have. Worrying about it for 45 mins on the way there wouldnt make things any easier, but the fact that I was in such a good mood when I stepped off the bus did. And to think, I was listening to In Rainbows on the ride lol, hardly a mood lifter, but I felt connected to all those people.

This is a really small and maybe irrelevant example as you say your problem is confidence which this doesnt touch upon but i felt like sharing :p

For confidence I would definitely just say that something ive learned is that human nature works in a way so that when people first see you, they judge you within 10 seconds. Based on how you look/your body language and esteem they will deem you cool or not, just like that. And people arent really forgiving in this sense lol. Its usually uncool until you can prove to them that you are cool, not the reverse. In not doing or saying anything in fear of being judged you just alienate yourself from people, as they will think you are wierd. If you even show just a little bit of personality and be genuine, people will give you the benefit of the doubt no matter what you look like.

You cant prevent people from judging you, so its your job to be confident and show people that you are awesome :)

 

[Brawley]

I over think everything in my life. Small and Big, its quite annoying and can lead to anger and/or sadness at times. But music helps......

 

[X-Act]

Just wanted to add that crying does NOT lower your manliness. It's better to cry if you need to than to suppress crying (like with everything else in life).