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Other ROCK PAPER SCISSORS INFINITY
- Thread starter RODAN
- Start date
Deck Knight, having woken up in Vegas covered in blood and semen, lying in bed next to the corpse of Ronald Reagan. vs a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
(who the fuck would come up with something like that)
It's 2020 and Deck Knight has fallen from grace from a moderator with a silly smoochum avatar to a snuff gay porn actor. Since 2012 he has slimmed down to a very petite 93 pounds living off of 155 calories a day. His newest project was to star in a snuff film where the victim was the resurrected Ronald Regan. After the crazy night of torture, sex, scat and necrophilia, Deck knight awoke covered in blood and semen Deck knight got himself cleaned up and decided to deviate from his usual diet of lettuce and ephedrine and treated himself to a coke. Little did he know that this was not an ordinary coke, it was a mislabeled diet coke not worth 155 calories but 0! Thinking he had taken his daily caloric intake he carried about his daily activities of drugs, cutting himself, and crying. He cried himself to sleep a bit less energetic and died in his sleep due to malnutrition.
a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
(seriously? wtf)
pb&j is really fucking good. even when poisoned. Fuck serial killers. but i do like volleyball. I guess i could just eat around the poisoned parts.
a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
(who the fuck would come up with something like that)
It's 2020 and Deck Knight has fallen from grace from a moderator with a silly smoochum avatar to a snuff gay porn actor. Since 2012 he has slimmed down to a very petite 93 pounds living off of 155 calories a day. His newest project was to star in a snuff film where the victim was the resurrected Ronald Regan. After the crazy night of torture, sex, scat and necrophilia, Deck knight awoke covered in blood and semen Deck knight got himself cleaned up and decided to deviate from his usual diet of lettuce and ephedrine and treated himself to a coke. Little did he know that this was not an ordinary coke, it was a mislabeled diet coke not worth 155 calories but 0! Thinking he had taken his daily caloric intake he carried about his daily activities of drugs, cutting himself, and crying. He cried himself to sleep a bit less energetic and died in his sleep due to malnutrition.
a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
(seriously? wtf)
pb&j is really fucking good. even when poisoned. Fuck serial killers. but i do like volleyball. I guess i could just eat around the poisoned parts.
a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
Deck Knight, having woken up in Vegas covered in blood and semen, lying in bed next to the corpse of Ronald Reagan. vs a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
Deck Knight awoke groggily, his vision swimming, his head pounding, and his pants wet with his favourite cocktail of blood, semen, and urine.
His mouth resembled a baby's after having eaten three cans of white pumpkin mash without a bib, and somehow there was a fountain of semen erupting from his right ear.
Deck Knight felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, he cringed. Was he pregnant? Haha, no, that was silly, he didn't believe in sex before marriage, so even if he had done anything it would have been against his consent; it's impossible to get pregnant from rape.
Our conservative hero then noticed something lying on the bed next to him. Deck Knight opened his mouth to exclaim something, then hesitated at the prospect of it appearing in the gallery. Apparently not perturbed enough, he exclaimed a loud "Fuck!" Equal parts anguish, admiration, and arousal. Then, noticing little DK was standing at attention, Deck Knight had a 20 minute wank over the corpse of Ronald Reagan.
Only partially satisfied, and extremely thirsty, Deck Knight stood up from his lotus wank position to find a drink. His stomach rolled painfully again, it must be from not going to church this morning he thought. Deck Knight stumbled around the room, clutching his increasingly pain-ridden stomach; the mini-fridge was only 2 meters away. The fridge door sprung open, seemingly of its own will; a lone coke can rolled out.
Deck Knight grasped at it feebly, its cool surface bringing some semblance of relief. He tore it open, but alas, it had been shaken too much and it erupted all over the room, painting the walls and dousing our hero. It was then that Deck Knight noticed that the surface of can had been corroded by the coke, it was actually a diet coke!
"Nooooooooooooooooo!" Deck Knight lamented the triviality of this disguise, before being struck by another round of stomach cramps. His breathing increased heavily and it felt like his anus was going to explode. A sizable lump shifted from his stomach to his lower abdomen, riding down like a grotesquely oversized ant stuck beneath one's skin. A abhorrent abomination spurted forth from Deck Knights pimply asshole, vaguely humanoid, and covered in a medley of human fluids. Deck Knight screamed, for he knew his child was born of a rape, and that it was gay.
In the mean time the coke had been absorbed entirely by the plush velvet interior.
Deck Knight, having woken up in Vegas covered in blood and semen, lying in bed next to the corpse of Ronald Reagan. vs a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
A vicious crumbling of earth resonated throughout the graveyard, a jagged split formed, running down the entire strip of land. Trees were uprooted by the force, tombstones shattered; an unbelievable stink filled the air.
John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Ted Bundy simultaneously climbed out from the same grave, wearing what appeared to be costumes from the latest Disney on Ice. Clopping clumsily through the graveyard on ice skates, the three resurrected murderers simultaneously exchanged their modus operandi and complimented each others flamboyant outfits.
After the trivialities of introduction were out of the way, the trio delved deeper into their interests and passions. They soon discovered they had a shared love for the game of beach volleyball, and were excited about the strength of their prospective team; the hot bitches they would murder afterwards was an added bonus.
The beach was bright, the sand was sandy, the ocean almost incandescent. Aesthetically pleasing men and women were casually playing beach volleyball, their glutes quivering in the summer breeze, their washboard abs unwavering as usual.
"Hey man, is that Ted Bundy?"
"Holy shit dude! That guy is my favourite killer!"
The undead triumvirate was quickly swarmed by adoring fans, John Wayne Gacy's rotten dick fell off from the excessive adulation.
"Prease radies," Ted Bundy's misshapen mouth had given him a Chinese accent, "one of you join our beach vorrybarr team...?" One particularly large pair of breasts jiggled in agreement, she nodded vigorously, perfectly in synch with her mounds.
The murderers were overjoyed, and began to prep themselves for a friendly scrim. Their new teammate brought over a picnic basket, full to the brim with mouth-watering finger food. Ted Bundy grabbed a particularly mouthwatering looking PB & J sandwich, and stuffed it into the remnants of his oral cavity, spraying the attractive lady in front of him with rotting flesh; she squealed in delight. Fortunately, Ted Bundy's oesophagus actually lead out of his chest, and the barely processed PB & J sandwich fell onto the sand, its subtle poison failing to have any effect whatsoever.
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
Deck Knight awoke groggily, his vision swimming, his head pounding, and his pants wet with his favourite cocktail of blood, semen, and urine.
His mouth resembled a baby's after having eaten three cans of white pumpkin mash without a bib, and somehow there was a fountain of semen erupting from his right ear.
Deck Knight felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, he cringed. Was he pregnant? Haha, no, that was silly, he didn't believe in sex before marriage, so even if he had done anything it would have been against his consent; it's impossible to get pregnant from rape.
Our conservative hero then noticed something lying on the bed next to him. Deck Knight opened his mouth to exclaim something, then hesitated at the prospect of it appearing in the gallery. Apparently not perturbed enough, he exclaimed a loud "Fuck!" Equal parts anguish, admiration, and arousal. Then, noticing little DK was standing at attention, Deck Knight had a 20 minute wank over the corpse of Ronald Reagan.
Only partially satisfied, and extremely thirsty, Deck Knight stood up from his lotus wank position to find a drink. His stomach rolled painfully again, it must be from not going to church this morning he thought. Deck Knight stumbled around the room, clutching his increasingly pain-ridden stomach; the mini-fridge was only 2 meters away. The fridge door sprung open, seemingly of its own will; a lone coke can rolled out.
Deck Knight grasped at it feebly, its cool surface bringing some semblance of relief. He tore it open, but alas, it had been shaken too much and it erupted all over the room, painting the walls and dousing our hero. It was then that Deck Knight noticed that the surface of can had been corroded by the coke, it was actually a diet coke!
"Nooooooooooooooooo!" Deck Knight lamented the triviality of this disguise, before being struck by another round of stomach cramps. His breathing increased heavily and it felt like his anus was going to explode. A sizable lump shifted from his stomach to his lower abdomen, riding down like a grotesquely oversized ant stuck beneath one's skin. A abhorrent abomination spurted forth from Deck Knights pimply asshole, vaguely humanoid, and covered in a medley of human fluids. Deck Knight screamed, for he knew his child was born of a rape, and that it was gay.
In the mean time the coke had been absorbed entirely by the plush velvet interior.
Deck Knight, having woken up in Vegas covered in blood and semen, lying in bed next to the corpse of Ronald Reagan. vs a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
A vicious crumbling of earth resonated throughout the graveyard, a jagged split formed, running down the entire strip of land. Trees were uprooted by the force, tombstones shattered; an unbelievable stink filled the air.
John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Ted Bundy simultaneously climbed out from the same grave, wearing what appeared to be costumes from the latest Disney on Ice. Clopping clumsily through the graveyard on ice skates, the three resurrected murderers simultaneously exchanged their modus operandi and complimented each others flamboyant outfits.
After the trivialities of introduction were out of the way, the trio delved deeper into their interests and passions. They soon discovered they had a shared love for the game of beach volleyball, and were excited about the strength of their prospective team; the hot bitches they would murder afterwards was an added bonus.
The beach was bright, the sand was sandy, the ocean almost incandescent. Aesthetically pleasing men and women were casually playing beach volleyball, their glutes quivering in the summer breeze, their washboard abs unwavering as usual.
"Hey man, is that Ted Bundy?"
"Holy shit dude! That guy is my favourite killer!"
The undead triumvirate was quickly swarmed by adoring fans, John Wayne Gacy's rotten dick fell off from the excessive adulation.
"Prease radies," Ted Bundy's misshapen mouth had given him a Chinese accent, "one of you join our beach vorrybarr team...?" One particularly large pair of breasts jiggled in agreement, she nodded vigorously, perfectly in synch with her mounds.
The murderers were overjoyed, and began to prep themselves for a friendly scrim. Their new teammate brought over a picnic basket, full to the brim with mouth-watering finger food. Ted Bundy grabbed a particularly mouthwatering looking PB & J sandwich, and stuffed it into the remnants of his oral cavity, spraying the attractive lady in front of him with rotting flesh; she squealed in delight. Fortunately, Ted Bundy's oesophagus actually lead out of his chest, and the barely processed PB & J sandwich fell onto the sand, its subtle poison failing to have any effect whatsoever.
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
Deck Knight, having woken up in Vegas covered in blood and semen, lying in bed next to the corpse of Ronald Reagan. vs a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
Deck Knight was eager to start his new slimming routine. He needed to be able to fit into his suit before election day and the race was on! This suit was cracking too, made by the finest slaves in Deck Knight's favourite country - North Korea. Anyway, his slimming routine was extremely strict and the first port of business was no carbs. Deck Knight loves carbs. He thought the best place to avoid carbs was Las Vegas, where he could just gamble to hours away till he slowly wasted away to a 40 inch chest.
As he walked towards a slot machine, something majestic caught his eye. Ronnie. Could it really be him? Deck Knight had had wet dreams about this moment. Reagan's family were selling his corpse to the highest bidder and Deck Knight knew it just had to be him. The question was, how did Deck Knight get the money? Prostitution was the only way Deck knew he would get any money and even worse, he knew he wouldn't be getting business from girls.
Deck Knight got quick to action, and made a small sign that read 'Bum me - $20 per penis'. Deck Knight quickly got his first customer, a strange man in a trench coat. Deck Knight would have preferred to have known the identity of his bum bandit, but he needed the money. The man slipped the $20 into Deck Knight's coat, then slipped his dick into Deck Knight's arse. During this vigorous bumming, the man's trench coat slipped off to reveal his true identity. It appears that it was user jrrrrr that started off Deck Knight's Ronald Reagan corpse fun.
24 hours later, Deck Knight had amassed $50,000. Deck Knight officially holds the guinness world record for most penises taken in one night at 2,500. Two things never happened again after that. The guinness world record was never laid a finger on again... and Deck Knight never walked again. Nor did his farts make a noise again for that matter. Covered in blood and semen, Deck Knight strolled into the casino and purchased Ronald Reagan, resulting in Deck Knight having a permanent boner for all eternity. If Deck Knight is cremated, even his ashes will have a boner.
Finally pleased, Deck Knight sat down (this was the most painful experience of his life) and ordered a diet coca-cola from the waiter. The waiter replied, "Is regular okay? I think we're out of diet, sir". Deck Knight was abhorred. Regular?! That would surely ruin his chances of wearing is election suit! "I would think not, please try find a diet coke," he responded. Disgruntled, the waiter hurried away. Moments later, he brought back a glass of fizzing liquid and exclaimed, "We had one left, sir!". Deck Knight grinned and took a refreshing sip of his drink. 'Getting bummed is hard work too,' he thought.
Then it struck him like dicks had been striking his intestines all night. His now 30cm wide-in-diameter bumhole rippled with disappointment. This was not diet coke, it was a regular coke. An undercover agent, a wolf in sheeps clothing. Deck Knight fell to floor crying and screamed, "HOW WILL I EVER FIT INTO MY ELECTION SUIT NOW?!!?!". With this revelation, he pulled a gun out from his anal cavity (since its enlargement Deck Knight had started using it for storage) and shot himself.
Winner: a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
They had done it. The joy was overwhelming. Serial Killers Volleyball Club had found their fourth member in the most unlikely of places. As they waited for their new arrival, they ordered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from an inconspicuous looking man. The man darted away, appearing to be chuckling. The serial killers thought nothing of it, especially as John Wayne Gacy had just made an excellent pun!
15 minutes later and neither the new arrival nor the sandwiches had arrived. Ted Bundy was the most upset of the trio. After necrophilia and murder, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were his favourite thing. He went off in search of this inconspicuous man and shortly found him with a bottle marked HIGH CONC POISON - DO NOT CONSUME. "What is that?" Bundy asked the man. "Oh nothing, just my eye drops," replied the inconspicuous man in a very inconspicuous manner.
Bundy thought nothing of it and took the three sandwiches back to where the other two were. Bundy's mouth was watering, he could hardly wait for this sandwich. He lifted the sandwich towards his mouth and
THUD
THUD
THUD
THUD
the sandwich fell out of Bundy's hand, much to his annoyance. Annoyance turned to delight as they realised those tremors meant their fourth player had arrived. RODAN was here and ready to play. It is not well known that RODAN is actually a very skilful volleyballer, he is actually ranked top 5 in Canada.
The team went off to practise, leaving the poisoned peanut butter and jelly sandwiches uneaten and unfulfilled.
Winner: the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team
Deck Knight was eager to start his new slimming routine. He needed to be able to fit into his suit before election day and the race was on! This suit was cracking too, made by the finest slaves in Deck Knight's favourite country - North Korea. Anyway, his slimming routine was extremely strict and the first port of business was no carbs. Deck Knight loves carbs. He thought the best place to avoid carbs was Las Vegas, where he could just gamble to hours away till he slowly wasted away to a 40 inch chest.
As he walked towards a slot machine, something majestic caught his eye. Ronnie. Could it really be him? Deck Knight had had wet dreams about this moment. Reagan's family were selling his corpse to the highest bidder and Deck Knight knew it just had to be him. The question was, how did Deck Knight get the money? Prostitution was the only way Deck knew he would get any money and even worse, he knew he wouldn't be getting business from girls.
Deck Knight got quick to action, and made a small sign that read 'Bum me - $20 per penis'. Deck Knight quickly got his first customer, a strange man in a trench coat. Deck Knight would have preferred to have known the identity of his bum bandit, but he needed the money. The man slipped the $20 into Deck Knight's coat, then slipped his dick into Deck Knight's arse. During this vigorous bumming, the man's trench coat slipped off to reveal his true identity. It appears that it was user jrrrrr that started off Deck Knight's Ronald Reagan corpse fun.
24 hours later, Deck Knight had amassed $50,000. Deck Knight officially holds the guinness world record for most penises taken in one night at 2,500. Two things never happened again after that. The guinness world record was never laid a finger on again... and Deck Knight never walked again. Nor did his farts make a noise again for that matter. Covered in blood and semen, Deck Knight strolled into the casino and purchased Ronald Reagan, resulting in Deck Knight having a permanent boner for all eternity. If Deck Knight is cremated, even his ashes will have a boner.
Finally pleased, Deck Knight sat down (this was the most painful experience of his life) and ordered a diet coca-cola from the waiter. The waiter replied, "Is regular okay? I think we're out of diet, sir". Deck Knight was abhorred. Regular?! That would surely ruin his chances of wearing is election suit! "I would think not, please try find a diet coke," he responded. Disgruntled, the waiter hurried away. Moments later, he brought back a glass of fizzing liquid and exclaimed, "We had one left, sir!". Deck Knight grinned and took a refreshing sip of his drink. 'Getting bummed is hard work too,' he thought.
Then it struck him like dicks had been striking his intestines all night. His now 30cm wide-in-diameter bumhole rippled with disappointment. This was not diet coke, it was a regular coke. An undercover agent, a wolf in sheeps clothing. Deck Knight fell to floor crying and screamed, "HOW WILL I EVER FIT INTO MY ELECTION SUIT NOW?!!?!". With this revelation, he pulled a gun out from his anal cavity (since its enlargement Deck Knight had started using it for storage) and shot himself.
Winner: a diet coke disguised as a regular coke
the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team vs a pb&j sandwich that is unnoticably poisoned
They had done it. The joy was overwhelming. Serial Killers Volleyball Club had found their fourth member in the most unlikely of places. As they waited for their new arrival, they ordered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from an inconspicuous looking man. The man darted away, appearing to be chuckling. The serial killers thought nothing of it, especially as John Wayne Gacy had just made an excellent pun!
15 minutes later and neither the new arrival nor the sandwiches had arrived. Ted Bundy was the most upset of the trio. After necrophilia and murder, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were his favourite thing. He went off in search of this inconspicuous man and shortly found him with a bottle marked HIGH CONC POISON - DO NOT CONSUME. "What is that?" Bundy asked the man. "Oh nothing, just my eye drops," replied the inconspicuous man in a very inconspicuous manner.
Bundy thought nothing of it and took the three sandwiches back to where the other two were. Bundy's mouth was watering, he could hardly wait for this sandwich. He lifted the sandwich towards his mouth and
THUD
THUD
THUD
THUD
the sandwich fell out of Bundy's hand, much to his annoyance. Annoyance turned to delight as they realised those tremors meant their fourth player had arrived. RODAN was here and ready to play. It is not well known that RODAN is actually a very skilful volleyballer, he is actually ranked top 5 in Canada.
The team went off to practise, leaving the poisoned peanut butter and jelly sandwiches uneaten and unfulfilled.
Winner: the corpses of john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer and ted bundy actively seeking out a 4th member for their beach volleyball team
