Self-Motivation, Balance and Organisation (Semi Rant)

[Stallion]

Warning, may be tl;dr

Alright, first a little background about me.


I am Aussie, and am in Year 11 at school (junior high I think it is in the US, whatever the second last year of school before college/uni is). I am a decent student, have gotten mostly A's in the past but have slid as of late to get more B's and the odd C (i still get my share of A's though), which didn't happen before.

Anyway I constantly clash with my parents over many things. My father is a perfectionist to the point where seeing the rumpus room slightly messy makes him have a fit. He often repeats things many times as if to emphasize a point, although it has clearly been understood the first 10 times. My mother is also a perfectionist, although that is more in a different area. She isn't as quick to anger generally as my father is, although she is louder about it. My parents are overprotective and have only just loosened up slightly in that regard. Where my parents are strictest though is in the area of schoolwork and organisation in general.

Lately they have been a constant nag to the point where they are a drone. They say I have no self-motivation and I hate to admit they are right. I don't have a clue what I want to be once I finish school, so I don't know what marks I want or need. I don't have a goal as such, and don't enjoy schoolwork. I do it because I have to in most cases rather then because it will help towards my future. I think I am very narrow minded in this regard, but I honestly can't see myself or what I want to be doing anytime after 2009. I am also generally disorganised. I lose things often, don't keep my school folders as tidy as I should and get to places late. I forget about assessment sometimes which forces me to play catchup when I should be starting the next piece. I don't panic easily, which seems to infuriate my parents as the rest of my family of 5, them included (barring my younger sister) are born panickers in terms of getting work done.

Despite what I have written, I do my work a few hours each night regardless of my extra-curricular activities such as my state basketball and my job. This is all I really seem to do however, which makes each day all the more tedious. The most annoying thing is that if I have an outstanding piece of work, they won't let me take a few hours off to relax (such as today when I wanted to watch the State Representative Rugby League Match; State of Origin). If I do take time off, they allow me at the cost of lots of shouting and a huge guilt trip. I am in good stead to finish these pieces most of the time (albeit with not a lot of time afterwards) which is one thing that really annoys me. According to my parents, if I finish my assessment earlier, I will have more leisure time during the week.

Anyway this ties into my original ideas of being self-motivated and being organised. I want to be organised enough so that I can have more leisure time to enjoy and self motivated enough so that it isn't tedious for me. That and the fact that I am worried about my future. However, no matter how hard I try, I cannot motivate myself enough on the premise alone that good results = success because I don't have any goals in terms of my future career.

The point of this thread really is to ask for the advice and the opinions of those more experienced or those going through the same thing as me. I want to know how you achieve(d) a balance of work and play through this time through organisational skills and tips in that regard. Most of all, I want to know what drove you and motivated you to aspire to succeed at school, and for tips on how I can do the very same (whether it is by finding something I love or with my current situation in terms of having no clue as to what you want to be.)

Anyway I don't expect most of you to have read this, but if you did thankyou for taking the time. I eagerly await your responses.

MS

 

[EconBiscuit]

This reminded me of what I went through when I was at school

I was percieved as a child to have a amazing intelligence and I was the glimmering hope of the family to acheive great things. So eventually after being told that you're great, you're amazing. It starts to go to your head and I started to wing school, and I used to wing it well. However towards the final years, I realised that I had no clue what I wanted to do, After spending all my youth certain of what I wanted to do, as soon as I hit my final two years, I had no idea.

Doing work, or not doing it in most cases, was only because I had to, I was never compelled to try in my lessons, and so I became disillusioned with my work and standards starting slipping. My motivation dropped, I found that the only way I could really force myself to do work was to procrassinate and I used to work under pressure, although it helped, it never fully alleviated the problem.

In the end I didn't fare aswell as I should've I went from the brightest child to pass through my infants/junior school aswell as the intelligent person in my year up to year 9 to a very mediocre student walking the fine line of pass and failure.

So in my experiences don't do what I did, and attempt to do it early. If your School offers some sort of careers advisor, Speak to them.

Your parents look like they care, and I bet they'd be understanding if you explained your situation to them, Ask them for help on what choices you have in the future, and what you wish to be.

If not, I assume you are not fully interested in the subjects your doing now, So I'd say study enough to get into higher education, and work on newer subjects that you've never come across. You may find one of them you would want to work towards.

My advice on a work program, write up a plan for it and work to the plan, write up all the hours of the day you are at work, and fill in things you have/want to do. Then work around them accordingly and try to work at least 14 hours a week on school work (just 2 hours a day, or more at the weekend) If all your work is not getting done, then increase the hours in which you work and make sure you attempt to prioritze what needs to get done. Work on this and show your parents you have a plan, and that way they'd less likely get on your back about work as they see you've put some thought into it.

I hope that helps

 

[mf]

Remember that academia is not the only fulfilling route through life (and if necessary, remind your parents too).

If you want to organise yourself, there are a few things in my experience that help:
- A routine. If you are used to doing certain things at certain times, you'll be less inclined to forget them. Add in scheduled homework time etc
- Exercise. It really helps improve mood and concentration, with the added bonus of keeping you fit.
- A diary (schedule). Being a computery type, I use Mozilla Sunbird to organise myself, but a pen-and-paper diary works just as well (and is more convenient). The human brain just isn't configured to be able to cope with all the aspects of modern life, so writing it down and having a reference is extraordinarily useful. I also make to-do lists from time to time, just so I can remember what I've got on my plate. It helps me feel less overwhelmed - a few words on a piece of paper seem a lot easier to tackle than when they are just jumbled thoughts in your head.

 

[TAY]

Haha MS you sound exactly like me. My parents have also given me the "unmotivated" talk, many times, in fact, throughout my high school career. My parents are a lot more lax than yours, however, and usually let me do my own thing in high school.

Anyway, you shouldn't be worried about what you want to do when you're older! If you have something in mind, that's cool, if not, that's fine too. As much as it is about gaining knowledge, College is about learning what you genuinely like to do, and becoming prepared for a career in that field. I applied to and entered college undeclared, though I thought I would want to go into either physics or psychology. However, I now hate psychology and don't care much for physics either; and I have seriously considered majoring in at least five or six other things since I started, from Sociology to Bioengineering to Japanese, and even though I have now settled on a subject that suits me, I am glad to have had the experience of learning a lot of cool things. My point in this paragraph is that there's a good chance that you will end up doing something completely different than what you wanted to do in high school, so deciding now is not even close to necessary. Two of the biggest math/science geniuses I know both ended up majoring in Philosophy, and another in some weird environmental politics thing, and I myself have wound up in Electrical Engineering, something which I couldn't have imagined myself in even a year ago. You don't have to sweat over your future just yet!

Regarding finding a balance of work and play, I might not be the best person to take advice from, considering it is 5:15 AM right now and I have a math midterm tomorrow evening which I know I am not prepared for. But if you're like me (and that certainly seems to be the case), then you usually, if not always, get your work done, regardless of the circumstances you might put yourself in. I am in no way saying that this is the best way to get your work done--I myself wish very much that I was a more organized and motivated person both in high school and today. If staying organized isn't your style, it's unlikely that you will be able to just start doing it all of a sudden. However, as time goes on you will most likely find that you start pushing yourself to do things earlier; even if you don't notice the change outright you will start to think that way, partly because of maturity and partly because you will not be able to get through it any other way. In general though, I prefer to err on the side of fun =)

Anyway, keep your head up, MS! Try to have as much fun as you can, but be sure to get all your work, etc done. I'm sure most people would agree that your best years are still to come!

 

[Sklez]

MS I am, as you probably know, in the exact same grade, country and situation as you. I have no idea what I'll be doing at the end of next year, and the work I am doing now is because I have to. Thankfully my parents aren't as strict at yours, probably because I manage As and Bs most of the time. Even though I don't have a job I feel as if I have no extra time during the week. For example right now I have a Design essay, of all subjects, as well as two English essays I should be writing. Before I know it, it will be midnight and I still wont have finished these God-forsaken things.

My number one blame for this is the Internet. Case in point I am writing this now instead of doing my work. I find the days I have more free time are the days I finish my homework before turning on the computer. I never feel compelled to do work, unless it is due the next day and this is something I have to change. If I had the self-discipline to not use the computer for anything other than work, I know I would be much better off.

A good sleep pattern is also a must. This is a great problem of mine as I sometimes find myself awake at 1am. By the time I get home from school the next day, I lay on my bed and fall asleep for about 2 hours, which is 2 hours of a short night already wasted. Then, when it comes time for sleeping that night, I'm not tired as I've already had a nap - and the cycle continues.

This year has been especially hard. I'm sure you've found year 11 is much more demanding than 10 ever was. I'm finding it ever harder to fit in some time for practicing my two instruments. Next year will be even worse again. The end of high school will be a happy day indeed. For now though all I can recommend is keeping at. In the scheme of things, the marks you get this year are meaningless. As long as you pass the ones you want to do in Year 12, the difference between an A, B and C is negligible. I personally think I will be able to do as I put much more effort into my Stage 2 maths studies, which is the only subject I am doing that actually counts towards my TER. Know the concepts well and you will be able to focus on the necessary subjects next year.

Anyway MS, this is probably more about myself than I would have liked but I hope it was at least half as helpful to you as your tutoring was to me. Unfortunately Pokemon is one of those things that I have to sacrifice in order to keep up with school but fortunately I still have time for Smogon.

 

[DM]

Good lord, you just explained my high school years exactly, only my parents weren't quite as overbearing.

Here's all I'm going to say: almost 10 years ago, I was in the exact same boat as you. Unmotivated, annoyed, complacent, apathetic, bored, and just generally frustrated. These days, I work at a prestigious law firm, I'm visiting Las Vegas not once but TWICE this summer (just because I can), and next month I'll be taking the LSAT and looking at law schools.

Don't worry about it man. Everything will fall into place. I didn't know what I wanted to do either; no ones does. So after failing most of my classes my first year at college I switched majors and never looked back.

 

[Elminster12]

I'm still not terribly motivated and my skill-base has narrowed considerably because of it, but Advanced Placement European History helped me realize how much I loved history, and how little it had to do with memorizing dates and names. Pick challenging courses: even if your GPA doesn't sparkle when it comes time to apply to colleges, they're likely to cut you some slack because you weren't taking joke courses like a lot of people do. And don't worry about declaring your major the moment you get to college, screw around a bit, fulfilling your Gen Ed requirements until you've hit on something you really like. Then run with it.

I currently have a 2.75 GPA in college...and something like a 3.43 GPA in my major(History.) My GPA would be a lot better if I could just get over the crap people filled my head with when I was little about how goddamned smart I am and stopped taking classes I can't handle..

 

[Kagster123]

Im a junior(11th grade) at my school. Was an A student up until 8th grade, then it dropped downhill to a D. I have absolutely NO idea what i want to do, but for some reason that doesn't bother me...

I guess what iw ant to say is that you should take some time to just relax, and chill, take each day at a time.

About the parents, i wouldn't know because mine are very different, but i think talking to them might help.

 

[SynysterCola]

I just finished my second year in college, so I have some history of a lack of motivation

High school I had no idea what I wanted to be. By the end of it I kinda "declared" I wanted to go into computer science. Right now though I am questioning it, as I've hit a phase of whether I really want to do this.

A lot of people I know have dropped out of the program, seeing that being a "geek" isn't what they had in mind all along. Between the group of people I know, me and like 2 other people out of I'd say 10 are still in it.

I have an internship this summer, so maybe this could be the x factor.

But I digress:

I agree with challenging yourself: it could spark a new interest (in fact that's really how I got into computer science to begin with, it was something totally different from what I was use to).

College is indeed a learning experience. I've recently began to become more interested in literature and plays. As a result my schedule looks like this:

2 programming courses
1-2 astronomy courses
1-2 english courses.

I never pictured myself reading after a days worth of code, but I took this shakespeare class for my CORE (basically general ed) course and it got me into it (AP Literature was a start).