YAHALLO AND WELCOME TO THE
CLASSIEST EULOGY
The Congregation of the Classiest were arguably the worst franchise in SPL...until Dave came along. He was one of the first to hop aboard the PO bandwagon, filling his roster with notable players such as Afro Smash, [IDM]Problems, and Artemisa. He led them to the playoffs in SPL V, paving the way for kokoloko and myself to finish his rebuilding project in SPL VI. With an amazing new gen core coupled with some rather shady tactics, we were able to lift the trophy and cement the Classiest as one of the top 5 franchises in SPL history. The SPL VII team was almost as successful, coming two games short off of lifting that coveted ring. Since then, though, the franchise has been mired in despair, suffering losing season under losing season under a plethora of different managers, including myself. This year, the keys were handed over to US South stars FMG and d0nut; could these two really return the Classiest to their glory days?
The Classiest's lone retain was Insult, whom they kept for only 10k. Many people on the site were pretty high on Insult going into the draft, so this felt like a solid retain. I was never a huge believer in him, but this price felt relatively fair either way. The Classiest looked to be in a pretty decent position heading into the auction; could these rookie managers thrive in the hostile draft environment, though?
The team's first pick was Tamahome, whom they acquired for only 18.5k. This felt like a great pick to me; even though Tama had only signed up for DPP, he is capable of playing other tiers such as ADV or SM should the need arise. He was also definitely too cheap, which was made even more apparent after individuals such as Pearl and FLCL with far less OU success went for larger amounts of money than him. He could have easily gone for around 2.5-3k more. The team then took another Brazilian, drafting Anti for 22.5k. This felt like a slight overpay to me, especially because Anti was going to be playing GSC, a tier he had very little experience with on the big stage prior to this tournament. That being said, he's still a very good player, so locking down a solid core of Insult, Tamahome, and Anti for only 51k put the team in a relatively enviable position.
The Classiest then picked up stax for 10k. stax is someone who was constantly hyped at every turn, but has failed to truly live up to his potential on the big stage. That being said, 10k was around the max price for Doubles players in SPL XI, and considering the fact that stax was ranked 3rd in the official Power Rankings, this felt like a decent pick-up. The team's next selection was blarghlfarghl, a player I have often disparaged in the past. He had recently become sort of a sheet-warrior, though, and acquiring his services for only 7.5k felt like a pretty sensible decision at the time. The team then filled their vacant LC slot by picking up Serene Grace, a relatively hyped mainer looking to make his first full-time appearance on the big stage, for 6k; this was another justifiable selection by the team. I was a bit dubious of his ability to succeed, though, as he wasn't chosen to be a starter in Snake III, which was definitely a red flag. That being said, they didn't invest too much money into him, so the pick was fine either way. The Classiest then rounded out their OU core by drafting suapah for 11k; I've never really been a suapah fan, so this felt like a bit of an overpay to me.
The team then purchased Amaranth, otherwise known as TIN, for 8k. I'm not really a fan of spending over 4k on RBY, so I was naturally unenthused by this selection. That being said, he has proven to be a capable RBYer, and he didn't go for too much money, so in a vacuum, this was a fine pick-up. As you can tell by my thoughts on the draft so far, the Classiest managers had had themselves a relatively mistake-free draft; they certainly hadn't done anything egregious that could sink their team's ship before the season even started. As we've learned from these eulogies, though, it apparently is impossible for most managers to go through an entire draft without making at least one head-scratching decision. For the Classiest, that decision would be their acquisition of Raiza for 14k. This was easily one of the biggest overpays in the entire draft; it made absolutely no sense to me how someone who could only manage to scrape together a .500 record against a bunch of mediocre PU mainers in Snake III could possibly go for 14k to play BW OU against much stiffer competition. Raiza had no other results on the big stage, either, so this pick just felt like absolute lunacy to me; even the Raiza defenders could not possibly justify his high price in this tour. The team would definitely need to avoid any further mistakes if they wished to contend for the playoffs.
The team then picked up Relous for 10.5k; he was coming off back-to-back solid performances in Snake and World Cup, so this felt like a rather fair price to pay for him. The team then picked up danilo for 3k to play ADV; this felt like it had the potential to be a steal, assuming danilo actually showed up this year. He was a pretty good ADV player back in the day, so taking a flier on him for 3k against a pretty mediocre player pool felt like a rather wise decision to me. The team finished off their draft by taking Persephone, Excal, Teclis, and some filler character named DaWoblefet. Persephone was someone who put up some decent results in World Cup; there was a decent chance he could provide value for the team against a rather mediocre player pool for the price of only 5.5k. Excal and Teclis were drafted to be substitutes, but they would be forced to step into the limelight later in the season.
The Classiest's players had barely finished greeting each other when it was discovered that the TDs had completely dropped the ball regarding danilo. He was actually banned from SPL XI due to his inactivity last year; it just so happened that no one relevant had remembered that this had happened. The team was forced to cut bait with their veteran ADVer, forcing one of their filler characters, Teclis, to prove himself on the big stage. Luckily for the team, they did have Tamahome on the roster, so, if Teclis flopped spectacularly, they could flex him into ADV after 2 weeks. With the 3k they acquired by virtue of ridding themselves of danilo, the team picked up false, who would almost assuredly provide no real tangible value to the team, at least not on the sheet. Overall, the Classiest had a decent draft. I personally wasn't too high on many of their players, labeling nearly all of them as "decent,"; the Raiza overpay as a black mark on an otherwise acceptable draft, and the danilo decision certainly hurt the team's upside. I ranked them 7th in my Power Rankings, but felt that they had some playoff potential due to the lackluster drafts other teams had put together. They were also ranked 7th in the official Power Rankings.
Week 1 would be a big test for the squad, as they faced off against the team I had ranked 2nd in my Power Rankings, the Cryonicles. The week got off to a poor start, with the team's rookie ADVer Teclis getting lucked by z0mOG. The rest of the team was able to carry him, though, as they notched a very impressive 8-4 win against a pretty solid team. The team would not be so lucky in Week 2, though, as they got absolutely smashed by the pre-season favorites, the Dragonspiral Tyrants, with anti and Tama both suffering losses. Anti's loss to Floppy was particularly concerning, since the latter wasn't expected to really do anything notable in SPL XI. Teclis also suffered his second loss, this time to marcop. Through two weeks, it appeared as though Tamahome would almost assuredly need to flex to ADV at some point in the season. The team also turned to false in Week 2, who got lucked by starry. The team bounded back the following week, smashing the Ruiners 9-3; Teclis even miraculously managed to take down Prinz and notch his first win on the big stage. false unsurprisingly lost yet another game in Week 3; surely, the team would not turn to him again.
The team could not keep up their winning ways, though, as they fell to the struggling Wolfpack in Week 4. The week was lost in a pretty unfortunate manner; at 5-6, Relous was ABR'd by Welli0u's Lopunny. Speaking of Relous, that untimely freeze left him at winless in four appearances; the team could not really afford to have him struggle this badly. Relous wasn't the only Classiest member to get MrE'd in Week 4, though, as Raiza got brutally lucked by Pearl, dropping the overpay to a 1-3 record. The team did have some solid performers through four weeks, though. The star player of the team was surprisingly suapah. He had managed to go 3-1 against a murderer's row of opponents in Eo, blunder, FLCL, and Star, with only blunder managing to take him down with the aid of some timely luck. Insult had also put together 3 wins in 4 weeks. Could the OU core continue to carry the load? The team would almost assuredly need some of their other slots to step it up if they wished to make a run to the playoffs.
The team managed a tie against the Scooters in Week 5; they sat at 5 points through 5 weeks. The team still had many holes, though; Relous and Raiza only had 1 win between them, and Teclis got washed yet again, this time by CyberOdin, making it even more clear that he simply wasn't ready for the big stage. Despite these flaws, I actually ranked the Classiest 4th in my midseason Power Rankings due to the surprising performances of their OU core; I figured that Tamahome would eventually salvage their ADV slot as well. Raiza had also been exceedingly unlucky; surely his fortunes would have to turn around sooner or later. Week 6 was a big blow to their playoff hopes, though, as they fell to another playoff hopeful, the Sharks. On the bright side, the team FINALLY decided that they had had enough of Teclis, slotting Tamahome into ADV, where he proceeded to notch a win against Blightbringer. The team's DPP replacement, Excal, also notched his second win in 2 attempts. However, Raiza and Relous both suffered losses yet again; could the team really carry these two anchors to the promised land? Working in the team's favor was their schedule, which was remarkably easy down the stretch. The team would square off against two bottom-feeders in the Tigers and BIGs in Weeks 7 and 8, before playing the upstart Raiders in Week 9.
The team took full advantage of these cupcake match-ups, defeating both teams and putting themselves in position to clinch a playoff spot in Week 9 against the Raiders. Relous and Raiza continued to struggle, though, as neither could buy a win to save their lives. The team even thrust snaga and false into the limelight once each; unsurprisingly, neither was able to find a win. The team simply had no choice but to continue to start Relous and Raiza and pray for their success; the two had only managed to amass ONE MEASLY WIN COMBINED in 8 weeks. The fact that the team was still in control of their own destiny despite having spent 24.5k for a 1-13 record between two players is honestly pretty remarkable.
As the week progressed, the situation turned more and more grim for the Classiest. Despite Raiza managing to finally win a game, albeit against the decaying corpse of the jaja once known as Posho, the team found themselves on the brink of elimination. If the Raiders were able to secure a tie against them, the Raiders would clinch the final spot in the playoffs. The Raiders managed to build themselves a 5-4 lead; if the Classiest lost any of the next three games, they would be sent packing. It was up to Insult, blargh, and Anti to lift the team to glory. Insult was first up; he faced off against Vai Lusa, putting up a solid fight...
until he missed Will-O-Wisp with Dragapult against a +4 Corviknight and lost the game. And so, just like that, the Classiest season was over...except it wasn't, because Vai Lusa put on one of the worst performances of the season and handed Insult the win on a silver platter. Newfound sheet-warrior blargh managed to secure a win for the squad as well, putting the season in the hands of the team's best player, Anti, who had amassed a 6-2 record up to that point. It would be a tough game, though, as he was up against dice, a player whom I bold seemingly every week. Anti managed to overcome his nerves and take home the victory, though, lifting the team into the playoffs against all odds.
Through the efforts of the team's OU core, as well as those of Anti, Tama, and stax (who had managed to put up a ridiculous 7-2 regular season record), coupled with some solid performances in the variance tiers, the team managed to reach the playoffs for the first time since SPL VII. They would square off against the Cryonicles, whom they managed to beat in Week 1. Almost everyone anticipated this to be a close, back-and-forth series. All expectations were shattered after the first two games of the series, though. Relous and Raiza, two players who had combined for 2 wins in 9 weeks, EACH MANAGED TO WIN...AGAINST GOOD PLAYERS TOO!! They took down Eo and Finch, respectively, putting the Classiest in a commanding position in the series. The Cryonicles simply had no answer for the team as a whole, as the Classiest continued to pile on wins, setting up match-point with Excal up against soulgazer. Excal had managed to go 4-1 in the regular season, and was nearly able to seal the deal for the team. However, he was unable to get the double Protect he needed to win, and the Classiest celebration was put on hold. This would only be temporary, however, as Tamahome was able to defeat z0mOG in the next game, sending the Classiest to the finals in dominant fashion. The team would go up against the Ruiners, who were coming off an impressive victory against the Tyrants. Everyone expected this to be a close series...but who would take home the win?
The series started off with Insult facing off against the fake Jamvad. This game was pretty uninspiring, as Insult absolutely obliterated him and put the Classiest on the board. TIN finished off his solid campaign with a win over Hyoga, which isn't too surprising considering the latter's unviability. The Ruiners would not simply keel over, though. FLCL's Rotom-Heat absolutely smashed suapah, giving the Ruiners their first win. The next game seemed to be a lock for the Ruiners; their best-performing player, Gondra, would be going up against Relous, who had only managed to amass 1 win in the entire season. However, with the help of ABR's teambuilding, Relous managed to take home the win against Gondra, putting the Classiest in a solid position to claim the franchise's second ever ring. stax finished off a great campaign with a demolition of qsns, leaving the Classiest only 3 wins away from the coveted title. With their best players in Anti and Tamahome left to play, the Classiest looked to be in absolutely commanding position. Tama was unable to notch a victory, though, as he was defeated by Prinz, bringing the Ruiners within two games of the Classiest.
The next game was in the variance madhouse, featuring Excal and Emeral. Excal looked to be in dominant position throughout most of the game, as his stall team shut down Emeral at seemingly every turn. Perhaps the stage was a bit too big for the rookie, though, as he faltered down the stretch, making some sub-optimal plays that left the door open for Emeral to ABR his way to a win...And that's exactly what happened. Emeral's Milotic froze Excal's Clefable, effectively ending the game and bringing the series to 3-4. The team then turned to Raiza, who had struggled and been lucked for most of the season; could he be the hero the team needed? Well...no. He lost in a rather one-sided game against Dr. Caetano, who leveled the series at 4 games apiece. The Ruiners were favored in 3 of the 4 remaining games in the eyes of the masses, so this would be a challenging series for the Classiest to win. The pressure was increased even more after FOMG haxed Anti, leaving the Classiest with almost no room for error. Serene Grace was able to take down Zebraiken in a close-fought game, though; he OHKO'd the latter's Dewpider on turn one with a Head Smash from his Onix, paving the way for his victory. The team then turned to blarghlfarghl to put them on the cusp of the trophy. Unfortunately, he drowned in the Empo kool-aid, getting absolutely annihilated in one of the most one-sided games of the season. The team's last hope was Persephone in ORAS OU; could he take down Raptor and keep the team's hopes alive?
Some nifty building from the Classiest's side granted them a relatively favorable match-up. Scarf Tyranitar was a big threat for Raptor's team, and it eventually brought home the win with some Rock Slides. As we all know, we can't have a modern SPL without a tiebreak, so this one felt like the work of destiny. The Ruiners picked SM OU, a tier the Classiest had struggled in mightily throughout the course of the season. The team countered with DPP OU, sending out arguably the best thinking gen player of the modern era in Tamahome to duel against Prinz. The team let Anti play SM OU against Empo, and picked Insult to face off against FLCL in SS OU. This was one of the only times where the variance madhouse was actually a viable tiebreak selection; it would have been nonsensical to leave Tamahome out of a tiebreak, and DPP was the only tier the team really had an edge in outside of Doubles, which was never going to be picked for obvious reasons. Could Anti, with the help of ABR, rise above Empo and the Smogtours nutriders and help the Classiest claim the victory?
Unfortunately, Anti did not have another carry performance left in him. He was outplayed by Empo in a rather one-sided affair; his matchup seemed nearly unwinnable on the surface, though, as he had almost no answer for Empo's Mega-Latias, which wasn't even sent out in the game. It all came down to Tamahome in the thinking gen. Tama outplayed Prinz on turn 1, and set himself up with a relatively solid position heading into the late-game. Prinz got a timely crit on Tama's Jirachi with his Azelf's Explosion, though, which seemingly shifted the game back to even-ground. Playing DPP without one's Jirachi is like trying to walk without legs; it simply doesn't work. Tama showed he was more than up for the challenge, though, as he managed to get himself into a favorable position with his Zapdos. His core of physically defense Zapdos and Swampert would almost assuredly win the game if he was able to paralyze Prinz's Jirachi with Thunder Wave. However, Jirachi had other plans, as it ended the Classiest's season with a timely Ice Punch freeze on Zapdos that essentially nuked any chance Tamahome had of winning the game.
Overall, this was a sad end to an otherwise amazing season for the Classiest. They managed to surpass almost everyone's expectations, reaching the finals with some nice performances from a pretty well-balanced squad. Anything can happen in a tiebreak, and the team was simply unable to get the luck it needed to claim their second trophy. The draft ended up working out well for FMG and d0nut, as many of their picks look rather stellar in hindsight. The Raiza overpay looms large over the season, though; even if his 3-8 record doesn't fully reflect his performance due to his poor luck, it seemed rather unlikely that he would ever live up to his ridiculous price tag. It's hard to criticize a team that lost in the finals tiebreak, though, especially one that was haxed. With some better luck, the team could easily have been hoisting its second ever trophy right about now. Either way, this was still a very impressive season from the squad. If FMG and d0nut continue managing, I think that the Classiest have a solid shot to return to their former glory sooner rather than later.
Maya-chan is pleased with your performance: