Spork's Used Automotive Dealership

[ThatOneSpork]

Hello there! I'm ThatOneSpork, but my friends call me Spork! Welcome to my Used Car dealership! All these cars are guaranteed quality, and I promise you that you will not be disappointed in your choice! In fact, I think you'll love these cars as much as I do! And trust me, I do love these cars.

Aren't they just adorable? Oh sorry, let's see what you might want to buy! If you look over here, we have a lovely used Double Decker Bus for sale! The starting price is $29,999, but I'm down to negotiate the price.

Now, if you're not into this sort of thing, don't worry! We'll leave the Double Decker bus section, and move onto the military vehicles! I have these lovely Used Humvee's, and I'm sure you'd love to cruise in one of these down the road.

They may not be the smoothest ride, but they sure do look good! And it's only going to cost you $15,000 for one of these! And over here, we have this lovely tank. It's a bit of a fixer upper, but it's a steal at only $10,000!

If you could fix that up, you could do so much with it! Sounds like a great deal, right? However, if you need something with more style, follow me to our small lake for the most classy vehicle here!

This lovely cruise ship is just dying to be bought, and only for the low price of $100,000! It's certainly got enough seats for the whole family, and you know you'd be taking THIS out all the time! However, if you're looking for something else, I might have something else around here for you to look at. Just let me know what you want!

 

[Albatross]

Hiya Spork! I want a reason to keep going

 

[ThatOneSpork]

Hiya Spork! I want a reason to keep going

Well, if you're looking for a reason to keep going, I have some lovely vehicles over here!

These motorcycles will make you feel young again! Make you feel alive! As you can see, I've got a lovely collection of colors for sale, and many more behind the counter. These other colors include but are not limited to: Pasty Purple! Gangrene Green! Obfuscated Orange! And our most popular color, Reddish-Green! These will certainly give you a reason to keep going, and if they don't, guess what! I get to make a living through your money, so maybe you can keep going because you know you helped someone make a living today! Prices vary with each color, so just let me know which one you prefer!

 

[phoopes]

I'll buy something as long as you do custom license plates

Yes, I made the decision that Smogoff is canonically in Florida. When compared to the rest of Smogon as a whole it just made sense. Also I chose the save the manatee license plate over the normal ones because we need something to stand for as a subforum. So yeah, once you can promise me this request then we'll talk.

 

[CaffeineBoost]

I'll buy something as long as you do custom license plates

View attachment 423006

Yes, I made the decision that Smogoff is canonically in Florida. When compared to the rest of Smogon as a whole it just made sense. Also I chose the save the manatee license plate over the normal ones because we need something to stand for as a subforum. So yeah, once you can promise me this request then we'll talk.

afternoon mr phoopes, effective immediately we are removing smogoff's ability to self govern. your moderators will forfeit the production of posting points to the state government. thank you for being so cooperative.

 

[ThatOneSpork]

I'll buy something as long as you do custom license plates

View attachment 423006

Yes, I made the decision that Smogoff is canonically in Florida. When compared to the rest of Smogon as a whole it just made sense. Also I chose the save the manatee license plate over the normal ones because we need something to stand for as a subforum. So yeah, once you can promise me this request then we'll talk.

I may not be able to install this license plate myself, but I can sure put in a good word for you! However, if you're looking to have a Florida plate, you certainly want a Florida vehicle! I think I have some in stock that would work... AHA! I found this one in the local dumpster, but I promise you it's of the highest quality!

I've pulled it into the lot here and I'm sure you'd love it! I think it represents all the "youth" these days, right? Of course it does! So this will be the absolute best to represent the youth! This also feels like a decision someone in Florida would make, and that means it's perfect for all your needs! So just sign off on this car, and you're good to go! Being a moderator of Smogoff, I'm assuming money is no objection so this is going for $1,000,000! Oh, sorry, another customer. While you do that, I'll go see what this lovely person would want today!

 

[ThatOneSpork]

afternoon mr phoopes, effective immediately we are removing smogoff's ability to self govern. your moderators will forfeit the production of posting points to the state government. thank you for being so cooperative.

Excuse me sir, what may you be wanting today? Wait, why are you harassing my customer? I must ask you to leave these premises immediately. And if you do not, you must buy a car from me! What are you feeling today, used Boeing 737? Used Unicycle? I've got it all!

 

[Albatross]

I steal a reddish-green motorcycle

 

[ThatOneSpork]

I steal a reddish-green motorcycle

Excuse me, why would you say this to me? You clearly have not stolen a reddish-green motorcycle, as I have watched you this whole time. You just kinda zoned out, actually. Are you okay? Cause if you're not, I have just the used vehicle for you! Just follow me around to the back, where it is.

Here she is! This baby is my pride and joy. It has brought me great joy and happiness throughout all the years it has been here. I've been reluctant to bring it to the front lot because of how valuable it is to me. But in the end, I need to let go. For $5000. All this joy and happiness for you, at a discount price. All because I can tell you really need it.

 

[min min]

Spork's Used Automotive Dealership

it's super effective!

 

[ThatOneSpork]

it's super effective!

I know, right? My branding is great, thanks for noticing! Now, you seem like someone with an eye for style, yeah? Of course you do! I have this lovely vehicle over here that has so much style, you'll just have to buy it! Aaand... Here it is! A lovely used station wagon!

I've been hanging on to this one for a while, because with this much style it's hard to find a customer that fits the style bill correctly. And I think you are stylish enough to go well with this car! And I'm not just saying that to sell the car, it's true! You and this car got style coming out the wazoo! Now, for only $12,999, you can have this super stylish station wagon to fit with the style that you have. I haven't had a sale yet today, but I'm sure you'll be the first!

 

[Gekokeso]

Hi spork, do you happen to have a vehicule that supports about 100 pounds of dynamite, and could, in theory, reach 120mph before colliding into a 15 x 15 meter building? Asking for a friend.

 

[ThatOneSpork]

Hi spork, do you happen to have a vehicule that supports about 100 pounds of dynamite, and could, in theory, reach 120mph before colliding into a 15 x 15 meter building? Asking for a friend.

While I may not have a vehicule of that description, I certainly have a vehicle of that description! I'm sure your "friend" would love this vehicle! Just follow me around to this path, yeah that's it. We need to follow this path for a while since I was going to test it's blast resistance soon. Ah, there it is!

A military grade BRV-O! It's an acronym for Blast Resistant Vehicle - Offroad. It could easily hold that amount of dynamite, and it also has a chance to survive the clearly accidental explosion that would happen! In fact, it might be able to survive a blast to reach that 120 mph your "friend" wants! Now, why exactly would they want this? I know many people hold vendettas, especially against me. That's why I have multiple weapons of high caliber, after all. In fact, if someone threatening is within 500 feet of my building, you can be sure I know! Anyways, enough dilly dallying from me, we need to get you this vehicle! Now, as you appear to want to use this to transport explosives, you have to pay all of this money up front so that in case those explosives happen to accidentally go off and kill you, I'm ensured my money. On the topic of money, this'll only run ya about... oh, I dunno, maybe $39,999? I'm willing to negotiate, as always!

 

[Theorymon]

Do you do repairs? I took home this beauty recently, called the Duke of Lancaster. It's a real fixer-uper, but if I could get her on sea again, I could sail the free seas and set up a libtertarian utopia where we don't pay taxes and can starve to death in prosperity!

When it comes to shopping... I need a small aerial vehicle that has room for lots of money and food!

 

[ThatOneSpork]

Do you do repairs? I took home this beauty recently, called the Duke of Lancaster. It's a real fixer-uper, but if I could get her on sea again, I could sail the free seas and set up a libtertarian utopia where we don't pay taxes and can starve to death in prosperity!

When it comes to shopping... I need a small aerial vehicle that has room for lots of money and food!

I regret to inform you that I do not do repairs, however I'm sure there's a great repair shop nearby! In fact, if one presents itself, I'd love to enter a business agreement with them. We could get more happy customers and profits! Anyhow, what I can offer you though is my used cruise ship, but you seem pretty set on repairing this one, and all the power to you! Now, as for a small aerial vehicle, I have a great option for you! It's neither the smallest option, nor is it too cheap, but with the scale you seem to be working on, it's a great fit for you! A good friend agreed to sell it to me for the relatively cheap price of $30,000,000! He hasn't transported it here yet, but you can reserve it for sale once it reaches ground. And since I'm such a nice guy, it'll only run you $30,500,000! Okay, I know I sound crazy, but it's quality guaranteed! See, he even sent me a picture!

I promise you it's real, promise! I would call him, but he's probably busy or asleep right now. His name's Dale, by the way. Great man. Hopefully you get to meet him someday! He's got some great stories to tell. Anyways, how about the sale? I promise you, it'll fit all your needs!