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[Standard] Mafia360: GAME OVER

General Spoon said:
Dear Torchwood, you are Jack Sparrow.

One of the most deceiving men that ever existed, you are a(n in)famous pirate. Nothing has ever stopped you from doing what you want, which is to sail your entire life at sea.

Every night, you may PM General Spoon and Steven Snype with “NX - take <alias> out to sea”. You will take <alias> out to sea for one night on your ship, preventing most actions from working on <alias>. Killers, however, will be patient and wait for <alias> to return before slitting <alias>’ throat.

Every third night, you may PM General Spoon and Steven Snype with “NX - take <alias> to Tortuga”. You and <alias> will spend the entire night at Tortuga getting drunk and getting some ladies, preventing <alias> from performing any actions. If you were to do this very often, most women and bars will throw you out since shit always happens, so you cannot do this every night.

You are Neutral. You win if you are alive when X, Y, and Z are dead.

'Sup Bitches! Let's give everyone free info!

Lynch Pikachu.

Oh, and if you're The Doctor, or Paul Bunyan, Flamestrike's out to kill you. JSYK.
 
"Hey everybody, how about we get rid of this Torchwood fellow?" suggests Flamestrike. Many of you hurriedly agree with him, perhaps eager to kill somebody who isn't you. But then somebody has the nerve to dissent. It is Dogfish44! "Nah bro how about Pikachu instead?" he asks. Some folks think this is a good argument, and go along with it.

In the end though this counter-suggestion does not garner enough support, and Torchwood has the most votes. Seeing himself outmanned, Torchwood attempts to escape by jumping off the landing, breaking his legs when he hits the floor. It is then little challenge to hurry down the stairs and finish him off. You will forever remember this as the day you almost didn't catch Captain Jack Sparrow. Torchwood was:
Dear Torchwood, you are Jack Sparrow.

One of the most deceiving men that ever existed, you are a(n in)famous pirate. Nothing has ever stopped you from doing what you want, which is to sail your entire life at sea.

Every night, you may PM General Spoon and Steven Snype with “NX - take <alias> out to sea”. You will take <alias> out to sea for one night on your ship, preventing most actions from working on <alias>. Killers, however, will be patient and wait for <alias> to return before slitting <alias>’ throat.

Every third night, you may PM General Spoon and Steven Snype with “NX - take <alias> to Tortuga”. You and <alias> will spend the entire night at Tortuga getting drunk and getting some ladies, preventing <alias> from performing any actions. If you were to do this very often, most women and bars will throw you out since shit always happens, so you cannot do this every night.

You are Neutral. You win if you are alive when Vito Corleone, Dick Cheney, and Eric Cartman are dead.
Torchwood was, of course, Dogfish44.

It is now Night 1. Deadline is on (1/12) at 9:30 AM, CST. Don't forget, there is a silent night lynch tonight.
 
You awaken to a robotic voice that is saying "I will not read the votes." It would appear that somebody has found and restored an old ProbstMaster 1000 last evening. This series is most well known for a terrible bug that prevents it from building dramatic tension. Rather than reading the votes one by one, the ProbstMaster 1000 just reads out the end result! The ProbstMaster 1000 speaks again, saying "Epsilon you have the most votes. Bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken."

Suddenly the ProbstMaster 1000 pulls a knife and charges at Epsilon. However, a large group of men in black suits surround Epsilon, hurriedly escorting him into a black limousine, which speeds away.

With this over, you realize that two people are missing. The first one is Scone, who is kidnapped. The other one is Lambchops, who you discover dead underneath a desk. It would appear as though large claws were involved in the death of Lambchops. He was:
Dear Lambchops, you are Eric Cartman.

You are the fatass that hates everyone and are the stereotypical spoiled brat. When you don’t get your way, you say your famous catch phrase: “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

Every night, you may PM General Spoon and Steven Snype with “NX - Showin your authoritah around <alias>”. You will keep a watch around <alias>, and if anyone targets <alias>, you will smack them with your stick. However, since you are an obnoxious 8-year-old fatass, they will get enraged and target you instead.

You are Neutral. You win if you are alive when The Doctor, Paul Bunyan, and Jack Sparrow are dead.
Lambchops was Flamestrike.

Suddenly, the News Droid distributes a morning paper to everybody, with the following article on the front page:
Silly Torchwood, no one can stop a mob once they have their mind set on something, while the tactic was good, as only a small numbeer of people probably needed to kill you was not enough for a majority, unfoortunately for you it did work out as planned.
Jacob and Godzilla have returned. Scone is kidnapped.
 
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