Hi and goodbye everyone!
I'm here for my last team dump. Many of you have heard that i'm leaving mons and after saying it a few times, time has come for me to turn the page and move on to other stuff.
First of all, here is my full builder :
https://pokepast.es/1f9381de22af9b3e
First ten or so teams are placed in order of which i think are the best rn in the current meta and after its a mix of the same good teams but with variations or experience i was doing. Finally, you have the last 10 teams or so that are just fun stuff that can surprise your opponent if you learn how to pilot them. I didnt have time to put description on those teams ofc, it would take ate least a full day, but if you have questions, just reach out on discord and i'll be around.
Rest is just my personal story so you dont have to read everything. If you leave here than have a good day and it was fun meeting you. If you wanna continue, than i thank you in advance for taking the time.
Secondly, some have asked why im leaving and even if a big majority doesnt care at all, ill just clarify a bit. I've been around smogon and competitive play since 2017, even tough i joined smogon in 2019. In the very beginning, i was just having fun and messing with some teams at the end of gen 6 LC and all along gen 7 LC. I still remember all the nights where i could fight like 6 times in 2h my good old friends
Surfy and
Acehunter1. Even at that time, lc ladder had some dead points lol. Those were still great nights and i will remember them forever, because thats what gave me the spark to just continue and get into competition. I also used to watch a lot of replays and learn from some lc all-time stars like
Heysup,
Plas tko,
Dundies,
Scottie,
Star,
tazz,
LilyAC,
babyboyblues,
freezai and many others that i forget ofc. Some of them were under memorable alts like Mienfoobestwaifu and bbb's mom (i know it wasnt this but i can't remember exact what it was lol and it was some variation of this).
My competitive journey started in LPL in 2019 i think when
babyboyblues gave me my chance of playing for the scrubs (i was a sub for the sub lol) in a match against
TaoTDW and oh god it was funny as hell. I brought a team i was most confortable with and guess what, it had 0 fight resist (ok abra doesnt count lol) in a mienfoo meta. Back in gen 7 you know it was a crazy play lol. I ended up winning and when i looked back in LPL chat, thats when i knew what was the thrill of playing mons. I remember
Laroxyl (good old friend thanks for everything mate) saying at some point : everytime i look at elfu's team, its getting worse LOL. I had some weird sets that ended up working, but on top of that, it gave a good show. That was also the lightning in my mind for me to continue bringing some cool teams because thats what entertain poeple and keep the passion alive in the community. Going out of the bounds and explore some C and D tier mons that nobody wants to play with just because they are not part of the top 10-12 of the builder. I decided at this point i wanted to be that kind of player and i think i did a pretty fair job along those years.
First 2-3 years, i didnt do anything relevant, i was still learning i guess lol. At the end of this, i decided to explore some other tiers, which i restrained myself to do because i thought focusing on LC would make me better faster, Big mistake. I've learned other mechanics, new techniques and played vs different players that opened up my mind on pretty cool and new stuff that i was able to bring back to my LC playstyle. I strongly recommend to any players to at least try 1 or 2 other tiers that are completely different from LC so that you 1) dont get bored of LC and 2) you just grow as a player in general and meet other poeple.
Back in 2023 iirc (dates are not really important), i was able to finally win my first ever solo tournament which was a SS LC UU tour hosted by my lower tier homies
Albi and
Joltage. Even though it was not SPL, i finally had a little satisfaction for all the hard work i've put in this game and i savored it. Thing is that at this point i was putting like 2-4h per day playing and tryharding. Yes, many would say thats way too much... and you're right
Thats when the problem started for me. I was playing in every possible main tiers and doing every possible suspect tests (which i ended up making around 110 or so, which makes me if im not wrong the player with the most completed up to today) to try to grow, try to be seen, try to be liked and try to look for something that i could never achieved. I wanted to win big individual tours like many players want to ofc, but also team tours like SCL, LCPL etc. I wanted to win them all and be a respected player throughout the community. Even though i was able to get many team tour wins (RUPL, NUPL, PUPL and many others), i just wanted to have more, one more thing, but that thing was always one more thing. I was never satisfied. I was able to be part of SCL (thanks
Amaranth and
Howkings for the opportunity, big love), but that was as a sub. Ofc, its already a good thing to just be draft, but i cant stop thinking about the fact that yes i was picked, i was even able to play since unfortunately our starter and the first sub went both 0-2 before they put me in where i've brought back a 3-2 ratio. Which was very decent for a first experience. What's wrong is that i dont even keep a good memory. Why? Because i was snubbed the 3 years after by all the SCL captains. I was (in my humble opinion) in my prime, i have won many individual LC tours in that period and i was also a strong RU sub (playing in RUPL for 2-3 years), but i got rejected again and again. Oh and i forgot to mention i made semi final of circuit 3 times in the last 4 years, losing to rng shit 2 of those 3. I dont hate anybody in that situation ofc, dont get me wrong, such is the game we decide to play. I'm not in their position and they probably had a draft plan which i wasnt in and its not their problem if i dont get picked.
I started slowly but surely to hurt myself with all that pressure i was putting on me. Slowly but surely i saw some signs that i was negligating my irl family life, my irl social life (nah it wasnt great cuz im a stupid geek, but still) and my mental health. I became agressive against me when i wasnt winning vs players i expected myself to win, when i made some dumb mistakes and when rng came to scrap games i was gonna win. When i say -hurt myself-, i mean physically and mentally. I was injuring myself and calling by all the stupid names you can think of. Why? Because at that point, thats all i had in my life. I was in university, trying to finish my doctorate, but i was alone and that was not good enough for me. I was rejecting activities offer because i wanted too much to either train on showdown when i came back from class or because i had tour games scheduled during weekend. I'm also a lot into running and triathlon, so that makes me even more solo trainer. I was alone, because i valued so much more some pixels online that i've put so much effort over the years to not let them get away from me. I was alone, because i was telling my parents i dont want to go to restaurant with them cuz i - dont feel well tonight-, i was just staying home to play more mons. You probably know where its gonna end, its not Walt Disney story here.
Months and years passed and back in january 2024, after another tough day in tour games, where i once again rejected a party with *school friends*. I call them like this because unfortunately i didnt value them a lot, i was more : the dude that does all the teamwork alone for us and they just add their name on top. It was a general invitation, so i wasnt really targeted by it and also because more people comes, means it cost less per person, but whatever. That night, it was just too much. It was just way too much. I was alone at home, my parents were in a trip and my other brothers were with girlfriends away. It was a cold winter night. I decided that it was over for me. I did what nobody should ever do. I've cut my left wrist twice (yes i tried to kill myself). To the blood. I was in the kitchen with my knife not realising what i was doing. I was crying doing some unthinkable stuff, but yet i was feeling that it was the right thing to do. I continued to cut a third time and i cant really understand why or how, but i stopped there. I cried for roughly 30min before thinking of what i've done and started cleaning thinking that if my parents see this they will be so angry after me for screwing the floor, not sad because what happen you know. For your information, i was 26 at that point...Supposed to be a grown man by then....
I went to bed and finally found sleep. I've kept this for myself for about a year. I was so ashamed of myself, but i found the courage to talk of this to a friend far from family. It helped to put some stuff in perspective. Not only my gaming addiction, but also my deep loneliness. My social loneliness, but also my intern loneliness. I've never been good with other poeple, especially girls and had very few girlfriend in my life. Worst about it, my first real relation with a girl is still the one i hate myself the most. I stopped it for just being lazy of not talking about some tiny stuff that didnt work. I'm super stupid and i still love you today sweetie, wish you the best with your actual boy, he deserves you more than i will ever do. Its starting there that i've put some stuff in perspective and started to diminish my time in mons and was able to finally let go some pressure. Thats approximately there i also started caring less about my results. I was still trying to win, but less intensively. I tried to put more efforts irl and with myself too.
Yes, still today, im struggling with my emotions and how i look to myself in the mirror. This is a very brief overview of what happened in surface, and people that suffered of this kind of stuff can understand that it probably represent only 1-2% of all the overflow inside. My performance anxiety associated to my fear of disappointing my parents and also my hate for always being successful irl overall made me coming to a dead end.
I've decided to share this story to y'all not because i want attention or an answer or likes or whatever. Nah, its not necessary and this is my last post anyway on this site so that's not even relevant. It's just a quick heads up that anybody can live this kind of situation. You can be in my place, but you can also be in the place of a friend. Trust me, when we say that the ones who always have a smile and makes everybody laugh or making fun of themselves are more than often the ones crying at night, hating what they are and what they do and the ones that dont want to die... but just dont want to live. I think overall i've been a nice person in all my interactions here, because i think that online negativity isnt something that has a reason to exist. I know irl only 3 person i've met on this site even though i've talked with probably thousands over the years. So i think that is was a better outcome to try to be a nice person since i know that the other person behind that username can be living some hard times like i was and still having right now.
All this to finish with some words to care more about yourself, care more about people online even tough you dont know them. Its easy to be the drop that makes someone overflow and maybe fall of the cliff like i did. Nobody was responsible for what i've done, its me and it was always just me. I do think that i've met so many beautiful persons on this site that i can't leave without mentionning them and ofc i'll forgot some and im sorry in advance. Thanks to
TheKingKarp (Dr TKK, wish you the best wherever you are now)
risi,
kythr (lots of love man and thanks for being so great to me),
Cherbou ,
Cicada ,
dcae ,
Toadow ,
PokemonCestDur,
zeroouttathere,
Jox ,
Fille ,
Lokifan,
Envy,
Hacker,
bleahey,
Corporal Levi ,
Agera ,
ambi_ ,
Papillon ,
feen ,
Greedy_eb ,
Feliburn Kipkluif,
LOOR ,
Cielau ,
Dieu Amphibien ,
Always! , @herv,
Kingler,
Éric,
TyCarter,
dunoks,
Pamplona,
Ryuji (merci mec d'avoir été là tu sais quand),
Wesleyy,
Expulso,
CMDoge,
Astarion and ill stop there because i'll search for too long. Those who knows i enjoyed being with them knows it.
My discord PMs will be open (Elfuseon_) if anybody needs advices on my team, random questions about mons or just need someone to talk to. Plz dont keep it for yourself for too long when you know its gonna explode at some point. A good halfway is to start talking about it to somebody online so they dont know you. It will probably easier to let things out and get some stepback on what you live. I'm leaving this site because i want to turn the page on all this while trying to keep all the good memories. I'll hope for the best for myself and do what i think is the best to leave this site in a good position so i can face life and be brave. I recently had a messy drop irl due to some personal stuff, so thats another reason i think its safer for me to leave, but i'm now aware of some patterns i can have and i think i can deal better with it.
Love y'all and i'll still remember the good moments i've had here playing this game and meeting all of you.
Peace out!
-Elfu
Praise Shellder. 
