It was in your first round when you were eliminated.
It was a stall MU. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a manager and two teammates. It was a painless loss. Chat tried their best to ghost you, but to no avail. Your record was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You lost,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a Gliscor and it was clicking knock…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I lost?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone gets eliminated,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My manager… my team,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just lost and your main concern is for your region. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your teammates will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your manager will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your play was pretty bad. If it’s any consolation, they’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll make a new alt.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I make an alt, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A 1000s baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this account won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past alts. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been using this alt for the last 2 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense metagame knowledge. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each account.”
“How many times have I made a new alt, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different metas.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a monotype player in 2014.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I make new alts in other places in time, I could have played against myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both accounts only aware of their own gxe you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made Showdown, is for you to mature.”
“You mean the playerbase? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole website for you. With each new account you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people online…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every account who's ever played?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m ABR?”
“And you’re BKC, too,” I added.
“I’m Blunder?”
“And you’re every member of the agency.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you flamed someone,” I said, “you were flaming yourself. Every forfeit you’ve made, you’ve made against yourself. Every goob and hax moment ever experienced by any account was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve played every Showdown game throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So all of Showdown,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next alt.”
And I sent you on your way.
source
It was a stall MU. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a manager and two teammates. It was a painless loss. Chat tried their best to ghost you, but to no avail. Your record was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You lost,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a Gliscor and it was clicking knock…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I lost?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone gets eliminated,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My manager… my team,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just lost and your main concern is for your region. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your teammates will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your manager will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your play was pretty bad. If it’s any consolation, they’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll make a new alt.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I make an alt, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A 1000s baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this account won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past alts. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been using this alt for the last 2 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense metagame knowledge. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each account.”
“How many times have I made a new alt, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different metas.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a monotype player in 2014.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I make new alts in other places in time, I could have played against myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both accounts only aware of their own gxe you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made Showdown, is for you to mature.”
“You mean the playerbase? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole website for you. With each new account you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people online…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every account who's ever played?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m ABR?”
“And you’re BKC, too,” I added.
“I’m Blunder?”
“And you’re every member of the agency.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you flamed someone,” I said, “you were flaming yourself. Every forfeit you’ve made, you’ve made against yourself. Every goob and hax moment ever experienced by any account was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve played every Showdown game throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So all of Showdown,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next alt.”
And I sent you on your way.
source
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