Please Note: There is no, nor will there ever be, Mongoose like pokemon in this team. Instead, it's just the greatest team name..ever...there is no arguing this.
At a quick look which determines if I'm wasting your time or not:
In Johnny Depp:
A Shelf (Azelf) @ Focus Sash
Ability: Levitate
EVs: 4 Atk/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Stealth Rock
- Thunderbolt
- Explosion
- Flamethrower
Typical lead, slightly different then normal Azelf's but it works. T-bolt is, in my completely right opinion, better then psychic. Not only does it destroy common bulky water switchins and give me a fighting chance against Heatran, but it flat out surprises tons of opponents.
Throw in the fact at the chance of paralysis, and it can shut down a few overplayed leads like Aerodactyl, Infernape, and other Azelfs. In today's metagame there's very few uses for Psychic type moves, and with flamethrower, you're already eliminating Breloom, Heracross and Lucario, along with the fact no one would switch in Machamp against Azelf.
Then again, it's an Azelf lead, we're all familiar with it.
I NEED SCIZZORS 61 (Scizor) (M) @ Choice Band
Ability: Technician
EVs: 248 HP/252 Atk/8 Spd
Adamant nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Bullet Punch
- Superpower
- U-turn
- Pursuit
Whee, so standard, and yet so right. This combined with Scarf-Ran make for a horrifically devastating combination. This thing is a counter for sweepers, Latias, Celebi (without HP fire)...in fact, it's too much to name. It's used to pull me out of tight spots, as well as scare the opponent into submission. Intimidating and flat out monsterous
CHOO CHOOOO!~ (Heatran) (M) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Flash Fire
EVs: 4 HP/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Flamethrower
- Earth Power
- Explosion
- Hidden Power [Grass]
All aboard the counter train! With Scizor, nearly no pokemon can truely out-sweep me. Standard moves, with Grass chosen as it picks off any Swampert with 94% or less, which is a great boost for the team.
With good prediction, Scarfran can ruin entire teams, nailing easy OHKO's on much of OU, and 2HKO's and a decent amount as well. Again, these two are completely standard, and that's not a bad thing.
Samuel L. Jackson (Tyranitar) (M) @ Lum Berry
Ability: Sand Stream
EVs: 6 HP/252 Atk/252 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
- Dragon Dance
- Crunch
- Stone Edge
- Fire Punch
Easily my absolute favorite member of this team, and thus named after the greatest human being ever.
The sheer bulk of this thing allows it to get in Dragon Dances against nearly everything, and it's Jolly nature lets it just about outspeed anything. Crunch and Stone Edge are standard, but Fire Punch is the real golden boy. Not only will it let it take out steels that would destroy it, but it can even work against opposing Scizor, surviving with 6% left from a CB Scizor's Bullet Punch, and destroying Swords Dance Scizors that think they get a free boost. Besides, if enemy Scizor is too much a nuisence, Heatran and Scizor can wall it, depending on the attack it uses. Breloom's only chance is Mach Punch, otherwise it's outsped, and if it tires to spore me Lum Berry let's it eat Fire Punch. Heracross is nearly extinct, so it's not a problem.
Lum Berry absolutely ruins Rotom, giving you a free Dragon Dance as they try to Will-o-Wisp your power away (Maybe two if they miss), then crunch and go for the easy sweep. Lum Berry also makes this an amazing end-game sweeper, as when Scizor is removed very little can stop it after this gets in its free Dragon Dance (Which is almost always does thanks to avoiding status and the sheer number of switchs T-Tar causes)
Also, say goodbye to Rain Dance teams.
Bulky and a great all around attacker as well, Samuel L. Jackson should never be fucked with.
Ecnemalas (Salamence) (M) @ Life Orb
Ability: Intimidate
EVs: 16 Atk/252 Spd/240 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Draco Meteor
- Flamethrower
- Earthquake
- Outrage
Mixmence, yes mixmence, nearly essential to any offensive team. The speed here is what really helps, as the metagame has evolved so much Mixmence isn't as useful without it. Meteor anything not resistant, Flamethrower any Scizor, Forttress and Skarmory, E-quake the other steels as well as when appropriate.
Outrage is preferred over any other option for the fun of late game sweeping. Hitting for as much as Meteor with 100% accuracy helps a lot, as well as completing the circle of destroying nearly any wall in D/P
This is really my only Infernape counter, baring Azelf to an extent, however HP Ice can ruin that fact, in which of course Heatran will pick up the slack and either: 1) Take any easy Choiced HP Ice, or 2) Out-speed it with Scarf and Earth Power it's ass to hell.
Not Lucario (Machamp) (M) @ Leftovers
Ability: No Guard
EVs: 216 HP/252 Atk/40 Spd
Adamant nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Dynamicpunch
- Stone Edge
- Payback
- Substitute
The nickname says it all, it's not Lucario, for various reasons.
The first is my prevalent Steel useage, Lucario would only help Infernape and other fighters plow through my team. Also throw in the fact Machamp's bulkyness helps it get an extra KO or two, especially against other Hyper-Offensive teams. Lastly, Sub-Champ is great utility, which Lucario's frailness doesn't let it perform as well.
No Guard can also fuck around with walls. Suicune, Gliscor and Hippowdon hate being confused, and eventually that leads to free Sub's, adding to the annoyance. Gengar and Rotom absolutely fail to Payback, and Stone Edge nearly ruins switching in Salamences and Gyarados, who think Intimidate will force a switch (Especially when getting a sub up)
Overally, this team has rarely lost, and has brought me more wins then any other. It's fairly standard, but with good prediction it can dominate nearly any team in the game.
I do have problems with Infernape however, as well as Lucario. There's a nod towards other fighting types, but I can usually deal with them. Any and all criticisim is appriciated...even though I'm always right.
Thanks in advanced =D
At a quick look which determines if I'm wasting your time or not:






In Johnny Depp:

A Shelf (Azelf) @ Focus Sash
Ability: Levitate
EVs: 4 Atk/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Stealth Rock
- Thunderbolt
- Explosion
- Flamethrower
Typical lead, slightly different then normal Azelf's but it works. T-bolt is, in my completely right opinion, better then psychic. Not only does it destroy common bulky water switchins and give me a fighting chance against Heatran, but it flat out surprises tons of opponents.
Throw in the fact at the chance of paralysis, and it can shut down a few overplayed leads like Aerodactyl, Infernape, and other Azelfs. In today's metagame there's very few uses for Psychic type moves, and with flamethrower, you're already eliminating Breloom, Heracross and Lucario, along with the fact no one would switch in Machamp against Azelf.
Then again, it's an Azelf lead, we're all familiar with it.

I NEED SCIZZORS 61 (Scizor) (M) @ Choice Band
Ability: Technician
EVs: 248 HP/252 Atk/8 Spd
Adamant nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Bullet Punch
- Superpower
- U-turn
- Pursuit
Whee, so standard, and yet so right. This combined with Scarf-Ran make for a horrifically devastating combination. This thing is a counter for sweepers, Latias, Celebi (without HP fire)...in fact, it's too much to name. It's used to pull me out of tight spots, as well as scare the opponent into submission. Intimidating and flat out monsterous

CHOO CHOOOO!~ (Heatran) (M) @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Flash Fire
EVs: 4 HP/252 Spd/252 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Flamethrower
- Earth Power
- Explosion
- Hidden Power [Grass]
All aboard the counter train! With Scizor, nearly no pokemon can truely out-sweep me. Standard moves, with Grass chosen as it picks off any Swampert with 94% or less, which is a great boost for the team.
With good prediction, Scarfran can ruin entire teams, nailing easy OHKO's on much of OU, and 2HKO's and a decent amount as well. Again, these two are completely standard, and that's not a bad thing.

Samuel L. Jackson (Tyranitar) (M) @ Lum Berry
Ability: Sand Stream
EVs: 6 HP/252 Atk/252 Spd
Jolly nature (+Spd, -SAtk)
- Dragon Dance
- Crunch
- Stone Edge
- Fire Punch
Easily my absolute favorite member of this team, and thus named after the greatest human being ever.
The sheer bulk of this thing allows it to get in Dragon Dances against nearly everything, and it's Jolly nature lets it just about outspeed anything. Crunch and Stone Edge are standard, but Fire Punch is the real golden boy. Not only will it let it take out steels that would destroy it, but it can even work against opposing Scizor, surviving with 6% left from a CB Scizor's Bullet Punch, and destroying Swords Dance Scizors that think they get a free boost. Besides, if enemy Scizor is too much a nuisence, Heatran and Scizor can wall it, depending on the attack it uses. Breloom's only chance is Mach Punch, otherwise it's outsped, and if it tires to spore me Lum Berry let's it eat Fire Punch. Heracross is nearly extinct, so it's not a problem.
Lum Berry absolutely ruins Rotom, giving you a free Dragon Dance as they try to Will-o-Wisp your power away (Maybe two if they miss), then crunch and go for the easy sweep. Lum Berry also makes this an amazing end-game sweeper, as when Scizor is removed very little can stop it after this gets in its free Dragon Dance (Which is almost always does thanks to avoiding status and the sheer number of switchs T-Tar causes)
Also, say goodbye to Rain Dance teams.
Bulky and a great all around attacker as well, Samuel L. Jackson should never be fucked with.

Ecnemalas (Salamence) (M) @ Life Orb
Ability: Intimidate
EVs: 16 Atk/252 Spd/240 SAtk
Naive nature (+Spd, -SDef)
- Draco Meteor
- Flamethrower
- Earthquake
- Outrage
Mixmence, yes mixmence, nearly essential to any offensive team. The speed here is what really helps, as the metagame has evolved so much Mixmence isn't as useful without it. Meteor anything not resistant, Flamethrower any Scizor, Forttress and Skarmory, E-quake the other steels as well as when appropriate.
Outrage is preferred over any other option for the fun of late game sweeping. Hitting for as much as Meteor with 100% accuracy helps a lot, as well as completing the circle of destroying nearly any wall in D/P
This is really my only Infernape counter, baring Azelf to an extent, however HP Ice can ruin that fact, in which of course Heatran will pick up the slack and either: 1) Take any easy Choiced HP Ice, or 2) Out-speed it with Scarf and Earth Power it's ass to hell.

Not Lucario (Machamp) (M) @ Leftovers
Ability: No Guard
EVs: 216 HP/252 Atk/40 Spd
Adamant nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Dynamicpunch
- Stone Edge
- Payback
- Substitute
The nickname says it all, it's not Lucario, for various reasons.
The first is my prevalent Steel useage, Lucario would only help Infernape and other fighters plow through my team. Also throw in the fact Machamp's bulkyness helps it get an extra KO or two, especially against other Hyper-Offensive teams. Lastly, Sub-Champ is great utility, which Lucario's frailness doesn't let it perform as well.
No Guard can also fuck around with walls. Suicune, Gliscor and Hippowdon hate being confused, and eventually that leads to free Sub's, adding to the annoyance. Gengar and Rotom absolutely fail to Payback, and Stone Edge nearly ruins switching in Salamences and Gyarados, who think Intimidate will force a switch (Especially when getting a sub up)
Overally, this team has rarely lost, and has brought me more wins then any other. It's fairly standard, but with good prediction it can dominate nearly any team in the game.
I do have problems with Infernape however, as well as Lucario. There's a nod towards other fighting types, but I can usually deal with them. Any and all criticisim is appriciated...even though I'm always right.
Thanks in advanced =D