Tips on how to give out a better vibe?

[Lefties]

Tell them you don't use OU pokemon.

But seriously, there is no secret to it. Some people either have the gift of being sociable and some people don't. Those of us who don't have to, as I see it, put ourselves in a different mindset. Think of social skills as a game, like Pokemon. You may be stuck with the worst Pokemon around, but they can be used at least somewhat effectively with the right strategy. If you fail a few times, don't worry. Just try again and remember - it's all a game.

I figured the Pokemon analogies would be appropriate on this site.

 

[majesty]

Being outgoing has brought me success.

 

[Aeolus]

Learning the skill of asking intelligent questions and then following up with more intelligent questions based on the answer you received in response to the first is key. Nothing will shut another person off faster than asking them a question and then using their answer as a segue into a wonderful story about yourself.

 

[Thunderclasm]

If you make it more of a "coming out of a shell" sort of thing, people will most certainly take you seriously. I did this when I was in high school.

I gotta agree with this - similar thing happened to me about two years ago. The best tip I can give is to stay who you are - just become more confident in the strength of your own personality and character. You don't have to be perfect, and you sure as heck don't want to force a fundamental change upon yourself. Simply be proud to be who you are - once that battle is won, the social aspect will come much easier. If you've got self confidence (though be modest, not arrogant), you'll find that it's not so hard to get along with all sorts of people. They'll sense it, too. Can't explain why, but it shows.

As for the little details, use common sense and personality. If you aren't a small talker, don't be a small talker. There is no magic formula for good impressions - they have to come from the individual, and there's six billion different methods around the world. Find what works based on who you are.

 

[Bologo]

If you make it more of a "coming out of a shell" sort of thing, people will most certainly take you seriously. I did this when I was in high school.

Yeah, I really am trying to bust through my shell. I'm curious as to how you make it apparent that you're making it a more coming out of a shell thing though, because that actually sounds quite interesting.

Ask questions about the other person. Then listen. Then ask more questions.

This is the Golden Rule for talking to girls.

That makes sense. Hmm...well any tips on actually starting a conversation? Holding a conversation isn't all that hard once it starts, but starting a conversation is the part that I have a little trouble with.


As for being nice to everyone, I'm good at being nice, but sometimes I have a problem with being too nice to some people and that makes me look annoying which makes some people not want to come up to me. Yeah, so I don't know how to balance being nice and being something other than nice.

Another thing I have a lot of trouble with is interrupting someone when they're talking to someone else so I can get their attention. I just don't wanna cause any annoyances. :(

I've been trying to smile more often for my vibe, but it's really hard to actually keep a smile for more than 3 seconds for me because I'm someone who didn't really like smiling that much unless it just happened without me noticing...I'm not exactly sure how to fix that, but yeah.

Yeah, so I understand the stuff that everyone has said so far. Thanks for the advice so far, heh, I waited a little while before I made a reply in the thread though.

 

[havoc]

To sum it up, the key is to change how you view the world and people, especially people you want to socialize with. It's less THE world as it is YOUR world.

Realize that the people you talk to are visitors in YOUR life, not the other way around. As visitors, they should treat you with respect, and naturally it should reciprocate, but don't ever ever change YOUR world because someone else is in it--revolving one's world around other people is what causes the "nice guys finish last" syndrome. It takes a lot (a LOT) less than you think to be "too nice," trust me.

 

[Wishy]

Be funny, but not rude - make people laugh (But not at the expensive of others...) and laugh yourself! If you're talking to someone, don't start talking about something bad, bring up positive topics. Smile more, and be nice. Say hello when you pass someone in the hallways.

The rest, is up to you.