Torkoal[QC-0/2]

[The Dragon Master]

[SET]
name:Sun setter
move 1:Lava Plume
move 2:Stealth Rock / Toxic
move 3:Yawn
move 4:Body Press / Toxic / Rapid Spin
item:Heat Rock
ability: Drought
nature: bold
evs:252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spdef

[SET COMMENTS]
Torkoal's ability Drought, along with its high defence stat and access to Stealth Rock gives it a spot on sun teams due to the valuable role compression it provides. It's high defence lets it check dangerous physical threats like Marshadow, Zekrom and most importantly, Zacian-C from full hp so it can be used as emergency check to these Pokemon but it's complete lack of recovery means that it can easily be chipped into ko range for a late game assualt, so you must keep it relatively healthy if these threats are present on the opposing team. Lava plume is the STAB move on this set, chosen for its ability to spread burn and ruin physical attackers completely. Burning jealousy is a very niche option in this slot as it has 100% chance to burn Pokemon who have just set up preventing physical set-up mons like Necrosma-DM from freely setting up. Torkoal is a decent Stealth Rock setter as it can beat some deffoggers like Corviknight and Stealth Rock also pressures Pelipper preventing it from safely switching in to reset the weather. Yawn is a great move on Torkoal as it prevents Eternatus from freely coming in on it and it also prevents Pokemon from setting up in its face .Body Press hits quite hard with Torkoal's high defence and it can OHKO Tyranitar and it breaks Zekrom's substitute, preventing it from setting up. Alternatively, Toxic is a good option on this set, as it can threaten both Pelipper and Tyranitar while annoying everything that isnt immune to it and can also be used over Stealth Rock if your team has another user for the move. Rapid Spin is another choice, as it can remove the opponents hazards while maintaining your own .Heat rock is the preffered item to prolong sun turns for your abusers.

As Torkoal is only to be used on sun teams as it's only really good trait is drought, it's partners have to be able to abuse sun well. Gigantamax Charizard stands out as an obvious teammate for this reason, as it is a threatning wallbreaker enabled by sun, and it also likes Torkoal's access to Stealth Rock and Yawn to let it wallbreak more easily. Venusaur is another good partner, as it can be a good cleaner and revenge killer under sun. Zacian-C is a good teammate as it appreciates sun to let it break past it's checks like Quagsire and Necrosma-DM with Solar Blade and Fire Fang respectively. Choice Scarf Eternatus is a great partner as it can revenge kill many threats to sun teams like Zekrom and Kyurem-B. Dugtrio is a good partner, as it can trap and eliminate Tyranitar which lets Torkoal beat it in the weather war. Mandibuzz is a great teammate for Torkoal, as its high Special Defence lets it tank special hits that would threaten Torkoal due to its poor Special Defence and it also provides Defog support, which is heavily appreciated as Torkoal is susceptible to all forms of hazards.


[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[TheDragonMaster,521275]]
- Quality checked by: [[], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

 

[The Dragon Master]

Ready for QC

 

[Minority]

Burning jealousy is a niche option in this slot as it has 100% chance to burn Pokemon who have just setup, but it's not recommended due to its inconsistency.

If it's not recommended then don't mention it at all.

Alternatively, toxic is a good option on this set, as it can threaten both Pelipper and Tyranitar while annoying pretty much everything that isnt immune to it. It can also be used over stealth rock if your team has another user for the move.

Merge and condense these sentences.

It's high defence stat lets it survive extremely strong physical hits like choice band G-Darmanitans earthquake from full hp letting it put the opponent to sleep with yawn, so it can be used as emergency check to these Pokemon. It's biggest weakness is it's complete lack of recovery, so it can easily be chipped into ko range for a late game assualt, so you must keep it relatively healthy if these threats are present on the opposing team. Maximum investment into defence lets it tank physical hits better, while heat rock is the preffered item to prolong sun turns for your abusers.

These three sentences are misplaced in the prose and jarring to read, they need to be moved toward the front of the first paragraph before you start described Torkoal's moveset.

As Torkoal is only to be used on sun teams, it's partners have to be able to abuse sun well.

It needs to be better conveyed here that the entire point of using Torkoal is to support sun abusers.

Cosmic power Eternatus is a great partner as it can help against rain teams.

Why this is the case needs to be briefly explained.

Formatting, grammar, and spelling needs to be cleaned up across the analysis, especially since it'll discourage GP from checking the analysis later on. Do not pester me to stamp this like last time, especially when your time is better spent fixing the errors described.

 

[Cynara]

Just a light note idk how I feel about Cosmic Power Eternatus specifically mentioned it, the only thing it does is turn the Rain matchup to close to a auto win when executed properly, explaining why its a good pick honestly goes out the boundaries of C&C, Choice scarf Etern is (usually) more important to be a crucial revenge killer sun needs, such as revenging Drednaw in the rain, DD Zekrom / Kyurem Black (an auto loss for sun) etc which are more important.

Burning jealously is absolutely viable and should be justified, I disagree w minorities critique that it shouldnt be mentioned at all, I assume they are basing that off how it is prosed by you and your analysis content. It denies phyhsical setup due to the guarenteed burn rate, which is something sun teams can sometimes struggle against due to them trying to use torkoal as setup fodder.

Blissey is a terrible team option for sun offense, which torkoal only realistically fits on, its a momentum sink, lacks the dark typing (checking dragapult) and defog support mandibuzz provides.

Hatterene is a offensive alternative for sun teams and helps deal with defensive etern / manage hazard ctrl due to magic bounce, a considerable pick for sun

 

[Nayrz]

Though Torkoal might seem like a mediocre Pokemon due to its unimpressive stats, its saving grace is it's ability Drought which along with its high defence stat and access to Stealth Rock gives it a spot on sun teams due to the valuable role compression it provides.

Delete the initial part and think of a better way to introduce the mon. It's clear enough that Drought is the reason for using it, so mentioning poor stats is a lesser concern. The rest is fine, you could probably restructure the sentence to simply highlight those qualities.

It's high defence lets it check dangerous physical threats like Marshadow, Zekrom and most importantly, Zacian-C from full hp letting it put the opponent to sleep with Yawn, so it can be used as emergency check to these Pokemon but it's complete lack of recovery means that it can easily be chipped into ko range for a late game assualt, so you must keep it relatively healthy if these threats are present on the opposing team.

Leading from the above, its odd to say the stats are unimpressive but its bulky enough to soft check the major physical threats in the meta. The part in bolded italics reads as if the way you beat these physical threats is by immediately putting them to sleep with Yawn, which isn't how any of that works. It can be removed and the sentence makes more sense.

Lava plume is the STAB move on this set, chosen for its ability to spread burn and ruin physical attackers completely.

This is a bit basic. Descriptions should be something a reader can learn from in relation to the metagame. I could read what Lava Plume does and make the same conclusion as here. Lava Plume reduces passivity through spreading burns as Torkoal lacks damage as a mon. It can punish mons setting up in its face (Burning Jealousy does this better though) and better checks Dusk and Zacian-C as a notable effect - Zac always gets burned too. That's the descriptions I expect to see from moves. In some cases where describing a move is too basic, you can simply not mention it at all.

Burning jealousy is a very niche option in this slot as it has 100% chance to burn Pokemon who have just set up preventing physical set-up mons like gyarados from freely setting up.

Zekrom? Dusk? Kyurem-B? I don't think Gyarados is the best example here because it could just "set up" by killing you (Moxie / Dynamax) and doesn't always run DD anyway. The three i mentioned using Torkoal as a (risky, but favors them assuming Lava Plume) setup target is entirely possible and a problem for sun teams.

Yawn is a great move on Torkoal as it prevents Eternatus from freely coming in and it also waste the opponents dynamax by forcing them to switch, which can let it get stealth rock up freely.

This is a bit of a creative thought exercise. By that I mean delete it, its stretching for reasons that don't exactly happen often if at all. The first part is fine if you expand it to be more generalized.

Body press is a good option as it hits quite hard with Torkoal's high defence and it can OHKO Tyranitar and it prevents substitute Zekrom from setting safely.

Reword this to "breaks Zekrom's Substitutes" to be more accurate.

Maximum investment into defence lets it tank physical hits better, while heat rock is the preffered item to prolong sun turns for your abusers.

I covered this in the index OP - basic spreads do not need to be justified in prose.

Zacian-C is a good teammate as it appreciates sun to let it break past it's checks like Quagsire and Necrosma-DM.

This should specify the use of Solar Blade and Fire Fang as its sun specific and never used outside of it, which is a helpful takeaway to readers learning about the playstyle even if they aren't going to use it themselves.

Though Torkoal has high physical defence, it's special defence is poor so special sponges like Mandibuzz make good partners.

Finally, a good deffogger like Mandibuzz or Lunala or Magic Bounce Hatterene is heavily recommended as Torkoal is incredibly susceptible to all forms of hazards.

Considering Mandibuzz is mentioned in 2 different places and is actually important for sun teams i'd consider just mentioning Mandibuzz in specific along with its traits and deleting the sentences it once fit in.

Overall this is on the right lines but needs a lot of polish to be C&C ready, so I hope you learn well from this. I'll review this again when it's done assuming you still want to finish this for credit reasons.

 

[The Dragon Master]

If it's not recommended then don't mention it at all.

Merge and condense these sentences.

These three sentences are misplaced in the prose and jarring to read, they need to be moved toward the front of the first paragraph before you start described Torkoal's moveset.

It needs to be better conveyed here that the entire point of using Torkoal is to support sun abusers.

Why this is the case needs to be briefly explained.

Formatting, grammar, and spelling needs to be cleaned up across the analysis, especially since it'll discourage GP from checking the analysis later on. Do not pester me to stamp this like last time, especially when your time is better spent fixing the errors described.

Delete the initial part and think of a better way to introduce the mon. It's clear enough that Drought is the reason for using it, so mentioning poor stats is a lesser concern. The rest is fine, you could probably restructure the sentence to simply highlight those qualities.

Leading from the above, its odd to say the stats are unimpressive but its bulky enough to soft check the major physical threats in the meta. The part in bolded italics reads as if the way you beat these physical threats is by immediately putting them to sleep with Yawn, which isn't how any of that works. It can be removed and the sentence makes more sense.

This is a bit basic. Descriptions should be something a reader can learn from in relation to the metagame. I could read what Lava Plume does and make the same conclusion as here. Lava Plume reduces passivity through spreading burns as Torkoal lacks damage as a mon. It can punish mons setting up in its face (Burning Jealousy does this better though) and better checks Dusk and Zacian-C as a notable effect - Zac always gets burned too. That's the descriptions I expect to see from moves. In some cases where describing a move is too basic, you can simply not mention it at all.

Zekrom? Dusk? Kyurem-B? I don't think Gyarados is the best example here because it could just "set up" by killing you (Moxie / Dynamax) and doesn't always run DD anyway. The three i mentioned using Torkoal as a (risky, but favors them assuming Lava Plume) setup target is entirely possible and a problem for sun teams.

This is a bit of a creative thought exercise. By that I mean delete it, its stretching for reasons that don't exactly happen often if at all. The first part is fine if you expand it to be more generalized.

Reword this to "breaks Zekrom's Substitutes" to be more accurate.

I covered this in the index OP - basic spreads do not need to be justified in prose.

This should specify the use of Solar Blade and Fire Fang as its sun specific and never used outside of it, which is a helpful takeaway to readers learning about the playstyle even if they aren't going to use it themselves.


Considering Mandibuzz is mentioned in 2 different places and is actually important for sun teams i'd consider just mentioning Mandibuzz in specific along with its traits and deleting the sentences it once fit in.

Overall this is on the right lines but needs a lot of polish to be C&C ready, so I hope you learn well from this. I'll review this again when it's done assuming you still want to finish this for credit reasons.

Implemented both, what else