You know what walrus needs? More cross-server competition. Also? More democracy.
What is Walrus? It's a forum game where you submit songs to me according to various categories and I rank and score them based on how much I like them.
This time around we’re doing things slightly different. This walrus is broken up into 4 tiers of 4 categories each, sorted by how much effort the categories might require. After signups are finalized and before the submission phase, players will vote on which category they like the most in each tier. Online polls for each tier will be PMed to the players and will stay open for 1 week. When the voting phase is over, I will tally the votes for each tier to determine which 10 categories move on to the submission phase and which 6 will be removed from the game altogether. The top 3 categories from Tier 1 and Tier 2 will move on, while the top 2 categories from Tier 3 and Tier 4 will move on to submissions. Then I’ll announce the 10 winning categories and open submissions.
To join, simply sign up in this thread (or drop me a DM at BrainpanSonata#0280). Submissions must be done by PM/DM, including YouTube or Soundcloud links to your picks. One by one, categories will be revealed in the official walrus Discord server and the respective threads. Aim for the highest overall score, or play along for fun and the love of music.
Scores will be logged and tracked via Google spreadsheet. Scoring is done on a 0.0-10.0 points range based on how much I enjoy a song and how well it fits the respective category. Anything below a 5 sucks in varying degrees, anything from 5 to 6 is kinda blah but not terrible, and anything 6 and above ranges from good to great to oh baby.
And here are your sixteen candidates vying for walrus residency:
About Me and My Tastes
Proud audiophile with a background in orchestra class and church choir. My tastes are wide and varying and I’m always looking for new artists to add to my ever growing list of favorites. Read the rules for my banlist and some of the things that can get you below a 5. I’m also picky as hell about live audio quality, and screaming/growling in metal can be hit or miss for me. I don’t pandercap because there’d be too much to cap, but I do have some anti-pandering measures in the rules, and anything that is or sounds like The Beatles automatically gets a 6.5. If you want to see what’s been done before, read overly long lists of my favorite artists in other About Me sections, or spend some time researching potential competition, check out my previous walruses here and here.
Signups List
Signups will be open until the afternoon of Monday the 19th.
What is Walrus? It's a forum game where you submit songs to me according to various categories and I rank and score them based on how much I like them.
This time around we’re doing things slightly different. This walrus is broken up into 4 tiers of 4 categories each, sorted by how much effort the categories might require. After signups are finalized and before the submission phase, players will vote on which category they like the most in each tier. Online polls for each tier will be PMed to the players and will stay open for 1 week. When the voting phase is over, I will tally the votes for each tier to determine which 10 categories move on to the submission phase and which 6 will be removed from the game altogether. The top 3 categories from Tier 1 and Tier 2 will move on, while the top 2 categories from Tier 3 and Tier 4 will move on to submissions. Then I’ll announce the 10 winning categories and open submissions.
To join, simply sign up in this thread (or drop me a DM at BrainpanSonata#0280). Submissions must be done by PM/DM, including YouTube or Soundcloud links to your picks. One by one, categories will be revealed in the official walrus Discord server and the respective threads. Aim for the highest overall score, or play along for fun and the love of music.
Scores will be logged and tracked via Google spreadsheet. Scoring is done on a 0.0-10.0 points range based on how much I enjoy a song and how well it fits the respective category. Anything below a 5 sucks in varying degrees, anything from 5 to 6 is kinda blah but not terrible, and anything 6 and above ranges from good to great to oh baby.
- Any categories you fail to submit for will automatically be scored 0. You can send submissions at any point up to the day before the respective category’s scheduled reveal. In some cases, depending on my schedule, I may be lenient enough to accept submissions up to the T-minus 12 hours mark. I will actively check in with players who have unfilled submissions to help prevent catfails.
- Any submissions which don't fit the qualifying requirements of their respective category will automatically be scored 0. For example, if I had a hydra category and you subbed a song with no stringed or brass instruments, you would catfail.
- You will need to change your submission if it's a song I judged in my previous walruses in the exact same category that you submit it for. This rule only applies to four categories: Color Me Impressed, Well-Covered, School Daze, and With A Special Appearance By. Subbing a previously judged song for a different category is okay, since half of the judging factors will change based on which category it’s submitted to.
- You will need to change your submission if it's a song I submitted to a previous walrus.
- You will need to change your submission if it's a song I used as an example in this walrus or my previous walruses.
- Tracking for rules 3, 4, and 5 is solely the responsibility of the host. I will crosscheck all submissions and let you know if something needs to be changed. I will also let you know of any technical errors which might require you to change the links to your submissions.
- You will need to change your submission if I can't bring myself to listen to it in its entirety more than once. This pertains not just to the banlist found in Rule 10, but also to anything pitch shifted/chipmunked, played on a kazoo/vuvuzela/air horn, and/or painfully out of tune.
- If two or more players submit the same song for a category, the second (and third and so on) person to submit the song will be given the option to change their submission. If they decide to stick with it, it will be given a single score and the players involved will tie in that round's rankings.
- You can change your submissions at your leisure. As with late submissions, song changes will be accepted at any point up to the day before the respective category’s reveal.
- My ban list is Nickelback, Owl City, Operation Ivy, The Neighbourhood, Kings of Leon, and US band Backlash. Swedish band Backlash is okay, but I have too many issues with that trumped up Pink Floyd cover band by the same name.
- I am also forbidding Muse and Sara Bareilles as an anti-pandering measure. I’ve had players in my previous walruses who subbed me those artists in bulk, so I’ve already judged a large portion of their discographies and don’t want to risk burning out on them.
And here are your sixteen candidates vying for walrus residency:
Color Me Impressed
Or you could call this category Colour Me Impressed if you speak the queen's English. So impress me by sending me a song with a color in the title. According to Wikipedia, rainbow is not a color, it is a weather phenomenon containing various colors.
Examples:
A Whiter Shade Of Pale by Procol Harum
Red Barchetta by Rush
Heavy Weather
Send me a song with a form of weather in the title. Rain, thunder, sunshine, et cetera. Yeah, THIS is the one where you can send me a rainbow.
Examples:
Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse
It’s Raining Men by The Weather Girls
Oh Boy!
Yeah, boy! Yeah, boy bands! Send me a song from a boy band!
Examples:
Just Got Paid by N*SYNC
Asterisk by Orange Range
Wanna Feel Old?
Send me a song that was released before the turn of the millenium. Anything goes as long as it’s from 1999 at the latest.
Examples:
World In My Eyes by Depeche Mode
Ornithology by Charlie Parker
Or you could call this category Colour Me Impressed if you speak the queen's English. So impress me by sending me a song with a color in the title. According to Wikipedia, rainbow is not a color, it is a weather phenomenon containing various colors.
Examples:
A Whiter Shade Of Pale by Procol Harum
Red Barchetta by Rush
Heavy Weather
Send me a song with a form of weather in the title. Rain, thunder, sunshine, et cetera. Yeah, THIS is the one where you can send me a rainbow.
Examples:
Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse
It’s Raining Men by The Weather Girls
Oh Boy!
Yeah, boy! Yeah, boy bands! Send me a song from a boy band!
Examples:
Just Got Paid by N*SYNC
Asterisk by Orange Range
Wanna Feel Old?
Send me a song that was released before the turn of the millenium. Anything goes as long as it’s from 1999 at the latest.
Examples:
World In My Eyes by Depeche Mode
Ornithology by Charlie Parker
A Round For The House
Submissions for this category must be about alcohol in some way shape or form. Whether you’re getting drunk at a party, suffering a hangover, trying to stay sober, or dedicating a song to your drink of choice, if booze is involved, it’s all rummy.
Examples:
Tubthumping by Chumbawamba
The Worst Hangover Ever by The Offspring
S For Lisp
Consider this list of S-named artists. Your submission must be from one of the artists on this list. Remember that Sara Bareilles is off the table and try not to get choice paralysis.
Examples:
Ribbons by Sisters of Mercy
Blue Lips by Regina Spektor
The Titleist
“A title track is a song that has the same name as the album or film on which it appears on.” (Side Note: Why did Wikipedia forget how2grammar?)
Examples:
Dirt by Alice In Chains
Mink Car by They Might Be Giants
Well-Covered
It's all been done before, or so they say. So gimme someone else's spin on a popular song. Please include the name of the original artist/band with your submission.
Examples:
Take On Me by Ninja Sex Party
I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by Caleb Hyles
Submissions for this category must be about alcohol in some way shape or form. Whether you’re getting drunk at a party, suffering a hangover, trying to stay sober, or dedicating a song to your drink of choice, if booze is involved, it’s all rummy.
Examples:
Tubthumping by Chumbawamba
The Worst Hangover Ever by The Offspring
S For Lisp
Consider this list of S-named artists. Your submission must be from one of the artists on this list. Remember that Sara Bareilles is off the table and try not to get choice paralysis.
Examples:
Ribbons by Sisters of Mercy
Blue Lips by Regina Spektor
The Titleist
“A title track is a song that has the same name as the album or film on which it appears on.” (Side Note: Why did Wikipedia forget how2grammar?)
Examples:
Dirt by Alice In Chains
Mink Car by They Might Be Giants
Well-Covered
It's all been done before, or so they say. So gimme someone else's spin on a popular song. Please include the name of the original artist/band with your submission.
Examples:
Take On Me by Ninja Sex Party
I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by Caleb Hyles
And The Grammy Goes To…
...the song you send for this category. Any song that has won one or more Grammys is eligible.
Example:
Tonite by LCD Soundsystem
Iron Man by Black Sabbath
Name-Dropping
It can be a bad habit, but it can also make for good music. Send me a song which has the name of one or more celebrities in its lyrics.
Examples:
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M.
Old School Hollywood by System Of A Down
School Daze
I want to hear your favorite jam from high school or middle school. The year the song first came out doesn't matter so long as it's something you listen/listened to often in your school years.
Examples (from my own school days):
Cure For The Itch by Linkin Park
Rubicon by VNV Nation
With A Special Appearance By
The word of the day is "featuring". Send me songs that include a featured artist. Special guest performances of songs that don't normally have a featured artist also qualify. I understand that this means I may be getting live recordings, so I'll try not to be so neurotic about live audio quality.
Examples:
No Flex Zone by Karmin ft. Watsky
Under Pressure by Queen ft. David Bowie
...the song you send for this category. Any song that has won one or more Grammys is eligible.
Example:
Tonite by LCD Soundsystem
Iron Man by Black Sabbath
Name-Dropping
It can be a bad habit, but it can also make for good music. Send me a song which has the name of one or more celebrities in its lyrics.
Examples:
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by R.E.M.
Old School Hollywood by System Of A Down
School Daze
I want to hear your favorite jam from high school or middle school. The year the song first came out doesn't matter so long as it's something you listen/listened to often in your school years.
Examples (from my own school days):
Cure For The Itch by Linkin Park
Rubicon by VNV Nation
With A Special Appearance By
The word of the day is "featuring". Send me songs that include a featured artist. Special guest performances of songs that don't normally have a featured artist also qualify. I understand that this means I may be getting live recordings, so I'll try not to be so neurotic about live audio quality.
Examples:
No Flex Zone by Karmin ft. Watsky
Under Pressure by Queen ft. David Bowie
Everybody Comes To Rick’s
Some popular songs had working titles that were changed before the song’s release. Time to do some googling and find me one of those songs. Please include the working title of the song with your submission.
Examples:
Breed by Nirvana (working title: Imodium)
East Jesus Nowhere by Green Day (working title: March of the Dogs)
Press F To Pay Respects
Send me something by an artist who passed away before January 1st 2018. You can submit music by a band, but at least one of the band’s founding members must be deceased.
Examples:
Cry Baby by Janis Joplin
Refugee by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Thievery Corporation
The name of the game is stealing your songs for my own profit. In other words, your goal is to submit something that I would want to submit to somebody else’s walrus.
Examples that I swear fell off the back of a walrus truck:
Barracuda by Heart (shoutout to Whydon)
Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz (shoutout to Granny Pie)
Uncommonly Good
Some instruments you just don’t hear that often. I want to hear them. Qualifiers will be determined by genre on the grounds that an instrument may be rare in one genre and common in another (such as viola in pop compared to viola in classical).
Examples:
It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll) by AC/DC (bagpipes)
Train of Thought by A-Ha (pan pipes)
Some popular songs had working titles that were changed before the song’s release. Time to do some googling and find me one of those songs. Please include the working title of the song with your submission.
Examples:
Breed by Nirvana (working title: Imodium)
East Jesus Nowhere by Green Day (working title: March of the Dogs)
Press F To Pay Respects
Send me something by an artist who passed away before January 1st 2018. You can submit music by a band, but at least one of the band’s founding members must be deceased.
Examples:
Cry Baby by Janis Joplin
Refugee by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Thievery Corporation
The name of the game is stealing your songs for my own profit. In other words, your goal is to submit something that I would want to submit to somebody else’s walrus.
Examples that I swear fell off the back of a walrus truck:
Barracuda by Heart (shoutout to Whydon)
Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz (shoutout to Granny Pie)
Uncommonly Good
Some instruments you just don’t hear that often. I want to hear them. Qualifiers will be determined by genre on the grounds that an instrument may be rare in one genre and common in another (such as viola in pop compared to viola in classical).
Examples:
It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N’ Roll) by AC/DC (bagpipes)
Train of Thought by A-Ha (pan pipes)
About Me and My Tastes
Proud audiophile with a background in orchestra class and church choir. My tastes are wide and varying and I’m always looking for new artists to add to my ever growing list of favorites. Read the rules for my banlist and some of the things that can get you below a 5. I’m also picky as hell about live audio quality, and screaming/growling in metal can be hit or miss for me. I don’t pandercap because there’d be too much to cap, but I do have some anti-pandering measures in the rules, and anything that is or sounds like The Beatles automatically gets a 6.5. If you want to see what’s been done before, read overly long lists of my favorite artists in other About Me sections, or spend some time researching potential competition, check out my previous walruses here and here.
Signups List
- Aladyyn (Smogon)
- BLOODYRAIN10001 (Kongregate)
- Ampharos (Mafia Universe) Our season two winner has had a name change
- Dp101 (Mafia Universe)
- Lectrys (Smogon)
- VuvuzelaBzz (Smogon)
- Myzozoa (Smogon)
- Steven Snype (Smogon)
- Lebossle (Kongregate)
- leonard (from big bang theory) (Smogon)
- Newcomb (Mafia Universe)
- Owner Of A Lonely Heart (Mafia Universe)
- Zack (Mafia Universe)
- apricity (Smogon)
- LordQuas (MafiaUniverse)
- Da Letter El (Smogon)
- Cancerous (Smogon)
- Adam (Mafia Universe)
- Pigjr1 (Kongregate)
- Your Name Here
Signups will be open until the afternoon of Monday the 19th.
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