Action Man: Robot Atak (GBA)
Week 1: Complete the Dr X Battle on Adventure Mode (No Passwords)
I'd never heard of Action Man, but a TV and toy brand about colorful beefcakes doing tough-guy stuff fits right in with childhood favorites like Rescue Heroes, giving me nostalgia by proxy. Robot Atak is definitely a licensed GBA platformer; level design is completely arbitrary and you'll have the occasional gimmick to contend with. Highlights include some unusually great sprite animation, getting to punch the daylights out of a T-rex, and a hilarious CHECKPOINT voice line, but I still can't recommend playing Robot Atak on its own game design merits.
Metal Slug 5 (PS2)
Week 2: Clear Final Mission in Arcade Mode
Metal Slug is legendary for a reason: the nonstop action and top-of-the-line animation are unmatched. To my personal taste, though, it feels a bit wasted on such straightforwardly militaristic aesthetics. I didn't care for how one hit means death, no ifs or buts about it, and the final boss wasn't nearly as cool as it should have been. Mastering the game seemed like it would have taken much more memorization than skill.
Panel de Pon (SNES)
Week 3: Clear Vs. Mode (Any Difficulty)
Panel de Pon epitomizes 'delightful'. It's cheery, but not in a way that feels childish or condescending, likely thanks to its more muted color choices; it feels like I'm being welcomed as I am, regardless of age or mental state. The gameplay has a lower barrier to competence than many VS puzzlers, as the field is laid out for you and it's up to you to make combos out of it, cutting out the intimidating intermediate step of carefully placing pieces to make a combo even possible. There's a greater emphasis on execution as a result, and Vs. Mode will make you work for your wins on any difficulty. I strongly recommend Panel de Pon for anyone looking to build their puzzle game skills.
Kirby's Star Stacker (GB)
Week 4: Complete all 16 levels of Round Clear mode on Very Hard difficulty
And here's a case of puzzle mediocrity. While the star block mechanic makes for interesting plays at a high level, Star Stacker lets you get away with 'putting the Rick block in the Rick hole' too often to hook you or build skill. The board rising only as the game decides creates room for mindless block placement to punish you, but more often it feels like you're just waiting around for more interesting setups to appear.
Quest of Hat (SNES)
Week 5: Defeat Pokey and win the game.
Discussed in a
prior post
Killer7 (GC)
Week 6: Complete Target 00 [Angel] in Killer7 mode and on any difficulty
Discussed in a
prior post
Magical Quest 3 Starring Mickey & Donald (GBA)
Week 7: Complete the Game as Donald Duck
Discussed in a
prior post
Hexen (N64)
Week 8: Enter the second hub Shadow Wood
Discussed in a
prior post
Suggoi! Arcana Heart 2 (PS2)
Week 9: Finish Arcade Mode (default settings).
Arcana Heart distinguishes itself among 2D fighters with its titular Arcana mechanic; alongside your player character, you choose an elemental patron to give you distinct special moves and secondary effects. I of course went with the epic penguin king of ice. As with most arcade modes, beating the AI is more about finding the disjointed moves they can't answer than fighting like a real person. Couple that with the PS2 version's terrible performance and the cast comprised of uninteresting female designs meant to appeal to creeps of all persuasions, and I can't recommend this one. Arcana Heart 3 PC seems to be agreed upon as the definitive experience, though you'll still have the creep allegations to beat.
Sabrina: The Animated Series - Zapped! (GBC)
Week 10: Transform gorilla Slugloafe back into a human
Licensed, but by WayForward! Each level is basically a mini metroidvania, where you have to find ability-granting items so you can reach and defeat all of the enemies. It's a novel and satisfying format, though navigation can get tedious, especially when riding bubbles. You can see how the Shantae animator(s) cut their teeth here.
Polaroid Pete | Gekibo: Gekisha Boy 2 (PS2)
Week 11: Successfully capture the objective in Historic Town Tsukiji. [>= Normal]
You know Pokemon Snap? It's an arcadey, 2D Pokemon Snap. You go through absurdist settlements and buildings, trying to photograph crazy things the moment they happen or you make them happen. You must also manage your film supply and destroy or dodge objects thrown your way, so it's not all memorization and downtime. The scheme and hit detection take some getting used to, but when it clicks, it shutters.
Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis (DS)
Week 12: Defeat Donkey Kong in Magnet Mania
I'm gonna say it: Mario vs. Donkey Kong was never good. Combine a platformer's room for error with a puzzler's inflexible problem solving in a tedious-to-execute package? DK can stay at large. The Minis colliding with each other and being individual units to babysit only exponentially grow the complication of timing. I emulate, so I couldn't use the touch screen to its fullest, but even on hardware I'd be withering over watching these stupid toys shuffle along.
We Love Katamari (PS2)
Week 13: Create Pluto.
Yeah, Katamari is as good as you've heard. It's maximalist and absurd, but somehow without becoming particularly off-putting. The 'game' is mostly in managing the controls, which involves steering via both sticks. It was fun to learn, but I saw it filter a fair few other players. Be willing to learn, folks! Standard controls are not the final word!
Tokyo Xtreme Racer Advance (GBA)
Week 14: Defeat all Knights rivals.
Functional, bone-dry street racer. It's GBA 3D, so it chugs and can reasonably be played at 2x speed. The prohibitively expensive parts upgrade system suggests it was made to last, not to be particularly fun.
Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2 (GBA)
Week 15: Defeat Ludwig Von Koopa in Cookie Mountain
I've never cared much for Super Mario World. Levels and worlds feel a bit arbitrarily put together, the emphasis on secret exits creates constant FOMO, and the power-ups are few and not all that fun. I played with a patch that changed the colors back from the GBA-necessary whiteshifting; look into that if you're interested in this version's features such as Luigi and a completion checklist.
The Flintstones: The Surprise at Dinosaur Peak! (NES)
Week 16: Beat level 7 (Witch's House) (no debug mode)
Unfortunately no, this is not the 7 GRAND DAD one, but it's still a gay old time. There's a good amount of depth between the character swapping and attack charging. Just don't try to actually beat the game; the 'surprise at Dinosaur Peak' is a unreasonably difficult gauntlet of instant death.
Final Fantasy VIII (PS1)
Week 17: Complete your SeeD exam.
I struggle to commit to traditional RPGs because they're built on obfuscation. How do the mechanics work exactly? What do I need to prepare for? What am I up against? FF8 suffers this even more than most with its spell absorption system. The essence is simple enough, but only when I looked into it afterward did I learn it's also the main contributor to your characters' stats. I also had to slog through a boss fight with Sqall alone for 15 minutes after an RPG-typical unpredictable attack wiped the rest of my party in one turn. Do you play it out, or do you undo up to an hour of progress and decision making? Few things sour on me on a game more than that kind of dilemma. I can enjoy Pokemon because I have perfect knowledge of the mechanics and obstacles, and optimize around them even with weaker Pokemon; if more RPGs were upfront with the intent of their mechanics and nature of upcoming challenges, I doubt the genre would suffer much.
Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (GBA)
Week 18: Complete the 2nd day.
Indies take note: THIS is a genre mashup! It's a top down resource gathering RPG whose action battles take inspiration from 2D fighters, emphasizing spacing and equipment strategy. The construction mechanics take some learning, but I can see many modern gamers getting sucked into the loop here. If you play as the girl you even get kissed on the lips by another girl, no big deal made.
Disaster Report (PS2)
Week 19: Meet a freelance photographer.
Earthquakes wrack an island city. Escape a collapsing bridge and delve into the city, dodging debris and climbing through twisted buildings while managing your health and water. The mechanics aren't very involved; this is more of a cinematic adventure game with emphasis on problem solving. While the visuals are grayer than they had to be, the tension and atmosphere as you're walking around make up for it.
Magic Knight Rayearth (SNES)
Week 20: Prove yourself to the water mashin
Magic Knight Rayearth is a straightforward shojo action manga and anime most notable in current year for some gorgeous shots and its aggressive game tie-in strategy. While the Saturn one is a lot more interesting, this SNES one is a respectable, fast paced RPG experience where even mandatory grinding isn't much of a chore.
Super Mario 74 (N64)
Week 21: Collect 10 power stars.
The first 'big' SM64 hack, and it shows. Getting around efficiently can expect near mastery of 64's movement options, knowing where to go and what to do isn't always easy, and later levels devolve into outright contempt for the player with save states as an expectation. Only worth checking out if you're already deep in the 64 rabbit hole like me.
Gex (PS1)
Week 22: Get the remote from Twin Towers and safely exit the level.
"Note to self: when Bush offers to fly you out on vacation, SAY NO."
Gex is already decently rehabilitated in current year, but if you missed the memo, these games are genuinely worth checking out. Gex 1 may have some 90s 'slopformer' hallmarks, namely somewhat aimless levels that stretch in all directions, but that works to its wall-clinging mechanic's advantage, and you're generally able to see danger coming. Gex's quips aren't all that frequent and are genuinely funny sometimes. Love the way he says "oh yeah, tail time."
Tekken 2 (PS1)
Week 23: Finish Arcade mode as Yoshimitsu on Medium difficulty or higher without changing characters
My first direct Tekken experience. After watching the lovably 90s CG intro, I was struck by just how quickly health bars deplete and the unusual 'left and right, arm and leg' control scheme. Fighting CPUs meant spamming a move they can't handle, as usual, but I'm interested in playing more Tekken in the future.
Donkey Kong 64 (N64)
Week 24: With judicious use of your Bongo Blast and Coconut Gun, free Lanky from his prison cell
I'm just gonna say it: Rare never really 'got' platforming. They could imitate it, very convincingly at that, but they never caught on to its intrinsic fun and tension. It's why their games devolve into sheer difficulty, annoyance, and 'finding stuff' so quickly; they couldn't imagine a game being engaging at a base level, so there has to be maximum adversity and 'stuff to do' to be the best game possible. Donkey Kong 64 is 'stuff to do' in the extreme. You have spaces that are far larger than they need to be, with minimal platforming challenges to solve besides finicky vine swings and narrow paths to inch across, interconnected by dreadfully boring hallways. The character swapping and collection wasn't even that bad so far, as you're far from expected to get everything to progress; the problem is that there's never anything INTERESTING happening.
Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy (PS2)
Week 25: Collect all of the Precursor Orbs in Forbidden Jungle
Yeah, pretty solid 3D platformer here, but one I'm struggling to say much about six months later. The trappings are here: somewhat floaty movement, combing areas over and over for that last handful of collectibles, silly unforgiving minigames that dominate your memories and engagement. The most interesting thing it does is probably make your total HP a rigid 3, but tie recovering it to collecting a ton of green orbs to fill up a much more analog bar. Between a bad motorcycle level to end it off and an eyerolling heteronormative side chick character, I wasn't compelled to play more.
LittleBigPlanet (PSP)
Week 26: Mortar Do - Complete The Level.
With communal level creation long gone, what remains is a reasonable platformer that delivers on vibes, if not mechanics. It's floaty, and collision is a bit unpredictable, but the multilayered levels with handcrafted aesthetics are still fun to work through. Its greatest gift, though, is introducing me to
Glockenpop, whose earworm status and unironic use in this game only make its scathing sarcasm more hilarious.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Master Quest (GC)
Week 27: Learn Zelda's Lullaby.
The farther I venture outside the Nintendo design ecosystem of absolute safety and comfort, the more I sour on 3D Zelda. While I wish more 3D games took inspiration from the 'puzzle box' dungeon design philosophy, Zelda is so bogged down by insistence that inane actions such as scrolling text and climbing walls takes forever. Ocarina of Time has conceptual purity on its side, at least.
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (N64)
Week 28: Obtain a gold medal at the Portland Burnside competition as any character.
Now this is a delightfully discomforting game. Learning to land combos and navigate rails with an alien control scheme wasn't easy, but very rewarding. This version's limited soundtrack and emulation hiccups keep it from being the go-to on its own merits.
Twinkle Star Sprites (NGCD)
Week 29: Complete Story Mode on 4 Star difficulty or higher.
This arcade game is firing on all cylinders so hard, I was astounded to learn it inspired the Touhou VS shooter entries and just about nothing else; there's a whole subgenre here! Single player is mostly about holding out until the CPU arbitrarily gets hit, and understanding what's happening takes some work, but the intensity and lively characters make it well worth it.
The final stage theme has stuck with me the most; it's full of that spacey, synth-driven feeling of nostalgia and yearning that made me love Touhou PC-98 tracks.
Extra Mario Bros. (NES)
Week 30: Find your second key
Metroid structure is imposed on SMB1's level format in this hack from the era of 'because you can, not because you should.' It admittedly works a bit better than I'm implying, solving a labyrinth of pipes and landmarks, but tight, do-or-die sections hurt by SMB1's committal physics drag things down quickly.
City Crisis (PS2)
Week 31: Complete Run Away Sports Car.
While clearly a budget title, this rescue sim more than gets by on substantial but fair score-based challenge, a delightfully Y2K menu, and a limited but meaningfully distinguished set of vehicles to choose from.
Star Fox Adventures (GC)
Week 32: Rescue Prince Tricky from the Sharpclaws.
Uh oh, I have to talk about Rare again. The gameplay did little for me, so let's make this quick: the insistence on voicing the fictional language and the merchant's orientalist design shorthand create a gross exoticist vibe, and I got stuck on the ice race because it wasn't clear I had to just beat the enemies to the end instead of killing them. Having to engage with the shop on my own terms to get a key progression item was neat design, at least.
Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast (GC)
Week 33: [Jedi+] Clear Kejim Base from start to finish, without returning to the main menu
Dry and punishing FPS gameplay combines with mandatory, obtuse object interactions and problem solving to create the most stressful experience of the year.
Onimusha: Warlords (PS2)
Week 34: Defeat Marcellus The Swordsman
Resident Evil in feudal Japan, tank controls and all. It puts great emphasis on combat and swordplay with elemental attributes, to good success. Just look up the timed puzzle gauntlet ahead of time, it was clearly meant as a rental wall.
Jeanne D'Arc (PSP)
Week 35: Complete stage 5: "The Road to Chinon"
Tactics RPGs aren't for me - too many inputs and minor decisions to make for how easily unknown factors can unravel it all - but if they're for you, this fantasy oriented alt history one by Level 5 with artistry to match might be interesting.
Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land (GBA)
Week 37: Complete Level 3.
Older Kirby has consistently felt not-great to play, mainly from enemies placed to ram into you and abilities that are lost too easily for how stop-and-start their moves are. Nightmare can't even boast the artistry of the original Adventure with its haphazardly used tiles and backgrounds.
WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$! (GBA)
Week 38: Clear Orbulon's Games
As a 3DS Ambassador, WarioWare was a staple time killer. I hardly need to tell you why it's such a fun format, but I will say the way they squeezed everything they could out of the GBA's nonexistent sound hardware lends the respective entries a fascinating soundscape.
The Typing of the Dead (DC)
Week 39: [Arcade - Story Mode] - Complete Chapter 5 on any difficulty [No Free Play]
There's a lot more design potential in typing exercises than you might think. You have to deal with threat assessment, snap decisions and reactions, and execution under pressure. Things seemed to get a bit too hard too fast, with a patronizing dynamic difficulty system to compensate, but I'll admit my typing wasn't as good as it should be.
Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin (DS)
Week 40: Defeat Astarte in Sandy Grave
The more I experience Castlevania and reflect on Metroid, the more firmly I believe that indie 'metroidvanias' don't understand the strengths of either. Castlevania may gate your potential behind RPG mechanics, but it isn't afraid to let the player feel powerful. Enemies demand respect but go down quickly, and you're free and happy to unleash all kinds of nonsense weapons and spells you find in the castle. As an elemental magic enthusiast, playing as Charlotte was absolute bliss, but there were still plenty of good reasons to use Jonathan. Don't let combat get mopey in your nonlinear game; the player can create their own limitations in future playthroughs if they truly like what's going on.
Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti (NES)
Week 41: Beat the game with both of the Crystal Balls collected and unlock the full true ending
A cutesy take on the gorefest arcade hit, Wanpaku Graffiti is full of memorable moments but feels one mechanic short of complete. Your basic attack range is pathetic, power ups are area-specific setpieces, and bosses are often confusing or tedious. It could still be a fun game to figure out in a day or two when you're in a Halloween mood, but it doesn't commit enough to its arcade structure.
Princess Crown (SAT)
Week 42: [The Crown Princess] Saved the Children of Nutsbill.
Good lord did I end on a high note. This is exactly the kind of game I hoped to find by participating in this event. 2D fighting combines with traditional RPG structures to form an experience that feels too natural for its boldness, and the sprite work is probably the best I've ever seen. The way your character coolly glances around when walking and firmly struts forward when you're in a hurry create so much unspoken personality. The English patch takes some work to apply, but if you play any obscure game from this list, make it this one.
Chibi-Robo! (GC)
January: Give Mr. Sanderson the "love" letter
Chibi-Robo was an interesting but somewhat dissatisfying experience. Navigating giant rooms to tidy them up while managing your battery, accompanied by some brilliant sound design, was a fun core experience, but your returns diminish fast and force you to confront the obtuse progression gates, which expect you to be in the perfect place at the right time. Play it, but don't hesitate to use a guide.
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest (SNES)
February: Defeat Kaptain K. Rool in the Lost World
Discussed in a
prior post
Pokémon Emerald Version (GBA)
March: Defeat the current champion and become the Pokémon League Champion
Wrong subforum, so I'll keep it to this observation: most other players who shared their team used a lot of the 'standard, cool' gen 3 Pokemon: starters, Gardevoir, Swellow, Breloom, Manectric, Aggron, and Flygon. More evidence the Sinnoh team meme just reflects Pokemon players' general incuriosity.
Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus (PS2)
May: Defeat Clockwerk in "A Strange Reunion"
Artistry is this game's strongest suit, with a striking style, solid voice work, charming enemies, and nostalgic Flash animation cinematics. The gameplay supports it fine, but isn't deep or 'masterable' enough that I'm itching to go back to it. Your moveset is dead simple; while you can expand it by finding all the collectibles in a level to crack a safe, those moves are supplemental and frivolous by design. Levels frequently pull out frustrating or unremarkable gimmicks as a result; there just isn't a lot of design space around Cooper himself. It's a good game, but not likely one to change your life past your formative years.
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (GC)
June: Obtain Farore's Pearl.
I dunno how I had a chill time with Wind Waker HD as a kid, this game's first half is kind of rancid. It takes hours to have any freedom on the ocean, and even then there's little worth doing. The Forsaken Fortress is a terrible first dungeon, taking away the sword you're only just getting used to, hiding progress behind easy to miss routes in a disorienting circular layout, and punishing any mistake in its tedious stealth sections with a complete loss of progress. It tries its hardest to keep the best of Zelda formula AND its bold new direction out of your hands.
Phantasy Star Online Episode I & II Plus (GC)
July: [Episode I] Complete Addicting Food on Normal difficulty
An early console MMO featuring Y2K futurism? Say less! And PSO definitely does its utmost to say more with less. It's a dead simple loot grinder game at its core, but its constant remixing of the same few maps and models builds familiarity, identity, and some genuinely funny scenarios. The second zone was a not-so-fun hike in length and difficulty, but the loot I was getting seemed to jump in quality to match. I've come to appreciate games that take their time in doling out substantial upgrades.
Kingdom Hearts (PS2)
August: Complete the Phil Cup at the Olympus Coliseum.
At least in this first entry, beat em up and RPG don't seem to combine to great result. I'm never a fan of opaqueness, and in this game you determine your entire level-up progression by answering vague philosophical questions. Precision is difficult against slippery enemy types, to where spamming AOE magic becomes the only real choice. Constantly retreading the same few areas to find the next story trigger and rewatching unskippable cutscenes upon retrying bosses that don't quite seem to make sense also detracted from the fun.
